It was their wedding night. They had agreed to no funny business for one whole month before the wedding and Jack was dying. He looked in the bathroom mirror telling himself over and over that he could last one more night. When he came out there was Sam in her pajamas. Even those were exciting after his month of abstinence.

"Jack, how's your stamina?"

Did she just ask him that?

"And how's your mouth?"

That was it. He was going to die.

"Uh. . . " His brain had officially shut down.

"Perfect, you'll have no problems blowing up this air mattress for yourself tonight."

That was just cruel, but he'd just have to get his revenge later. After all he'd have a lot of time to think while blowing up that stupid air mattress. Didn't they make automatic ones nowadays?

Right after the wedding reception they are in their hotel room. Now he'd get her back. Sam stood there in her beautiful wedding gown obviously waiting for their first honeymoon kiss. He had to be strong. He takes off his pants and throws them at her face. The shock on her face is so worth it.

"Put those on for me Samantha."

She looks taken back but she thinks it's a game. Each time she pulls them up, they slide back down, being several sizes too big.

"I can't wear your pants, jack" she exclaims.

"Exactly right, I wear the pants in this family.

That's how it's gonna stay. Just you remember that."

She stands there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot lightly,

and gives him one of "those" looks. Oh no, he's in trouble. Then she reaches down and pulls off her panties and throws them in his face.

"Put those on, your Highness," says Sam. This can't be good. She is going to eat me alive.

The tiny white bikini underpants are far too tight to even get over his upper thighs, naturally, so he says..."I can't get into your panties!"

"Exactly right, of the house, and until you fix

your macho attitude, that's how it's gonna stay." Oh crap. How was he going to fix this?!