Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I do have ownership rights to this very... er... special story.

A/N: Possibly one of the weirdest ideas I have ever had for a fanfic, but hey, it makes for an entertaining plot! :-P Reviews greatly appreciated. This is going to be a multiple-part short story.

Summary: What started out a harmless game suddenly became an incredibly awkward situation... The four Inner Senshi are dared by Haruka to spend one night staked out in Mamoru's closet without being caught. Never ones to be labelled 'chicken', the girls follow through... and get the surprise of their lives when Usagi shows up mere minutes later! Unfortunately for them, she's in a particularly lusty mood... And so is their dashing chevalier. Now truly stuck in Mamoru's bedroom of all places, the Inners are forced to play audience to their Prince and Princess doing the deed... with mixed reactions from all. Humorous, romantic, and slightly dirty! :-P Enjoy!

Warning: Adult content! Swearing! Younger readers beware! Rated M.

One Dark and Perverted Night

Part 1: "Feet Lickers and Constipated Brunettes"


"Truth or dare, Haruka-san?"

Aforementioned sandy-head cocked a brow, appraising her challenger with a coy smirk in place. "Dare."

Ami let out a whooshing breath, but her countenance didn't relax one bit. "Man, now I'm forced to think up a dare. And I had a good truth all ready to go!"

"Wow, doesn't anyone ever want a truth?" Makoto queried, gazing around the table at everyone in askance. So far, of the six Senshi present, not one of them had picked Truth. Either everyone had a terrible secret to hide, or-

"Nah, truths are boring, Mako-chan," Minako replied, arms crossed, lips pursed and apparently trying to pass off an air of wisdom... while failing miserably. "Only Babe Ruth told the truth, and look what happened to him!"

"Ah, I think you mean Abe Lincoln, Minako-chan," Rei snickered, getting the jump on Ami. She rolled her eyes at the blonde as she stood up to slide her bedroom door closed. Twilight had snuck up on the shrine's grounds, and it was accompanied by a chilly zephyr.

"Boy," the obsidian-eyed priestess said as she gazed a fond farewell to the waxing moon, "I wish Usagi could be with us tonight. It'd be so much fun making her do stuff!"

"Yeah. Can you believe she skived off for studying of all things? I mean, I know the girl's grown up quite a bit since turning eighteen, but... studying? It's like I'm expecting a world catastrophe to occur any moment!" Makoto commented with a laugh. She shook her brown ponytail out in disbelief, then issued a wistful sort of sigh. "I suppose it's to be expected, though. We are drawing closer and closer to the time of Crystal Tokyo. Something was going to give."

"Yes. I don't imagine she was meant to act that way as Queen," Michiru concurred. The warrior of sea chuckled. "Anyways, we're digressing. Ami-san? I'm dying to watch whatever torment you have in store for our dear Haruka..."

"Oh! Yeah! Errrr... Haruka-san, I dare you to, ah, um... I dare you to... lick the table!"

Haruka grinned as everyone sweat-dropped, hands coming up as one to smack themselves in the face.

"Ami-chaaaaan!"

"What?" the pedantic asked innocently, looking around at them all in shock.

"Ami-chan, a dare's supposed to be hard! Something the person wouldn't want to do! Jeez, even I'd lick a table," Rei groaned. "Haruka-san, take pity on her. She's a first time player."

"No, no," Haruka countered nonchalantly, waving her hand. "It's alright, Rei-chan, I'll lick the table..."

"Haruka..." Michiru growled, the lone soul brave enough to reprimand the Wind Senshi and get away with it. "That's not very fair to all of us who endured far worse fates. Think of me, calling up the studio and barking, all the while proclaiming how drunk I was?"

"And me, streaking past Yuuichiro's room while screaming my profound and undying love for him," Rei added, cheeks flaring crimson as she recalled her earlier embarrassment... and Yuuichiro's loud wolf-whistle as she fled back to currently debatable safety of the sanctuary.

"So you see, it's not very fair-"

Haruka irritatedly cut Michiru off. "Fine. Fine. Seeing as this group is a bunch of wussies, Ami-san, give me another. I'm a slave to your whims."

Ami smiled, and there was a baleful glint lurking behind her features. "Okay. Haruka-san, I dare you to lick both of Rei-chan's feet. Once with her socks on, and once off."

Stunned silence reigned for a full minute as everyone stared at Ami, wondering where their normally sweet and demure friend had gone and who was inhabiting her body. Then Rei choked, "Erm, I changed my mind. Haruka-san can stick with her table."

"Ah, ah, ah," Minako laughed, way more excited for this than she ought to be. "This is her new dare and she has to follow through! Don't complain, Rei-chan, just think- if you've got it bad, it's ten times worse for Haruka-san!"

Said woman was looking a little green, and she glared at Michiru, currently stifling an uncontrolled bout of giggles with one hand pressed over her mouth. She pulled it away for but a second, coaxing,

"Well? Any time now, Haruka."

Haruka groaned. "Rei-san? Kindly pass me your foot, and let's get this hellish dare over with."

Makoto collapsed into mirth alongside Minako as they watched the tortured exchange take place. The brunette leaned in close. "I bet Haruka-san's wishing it was a kiss instead," she whispered suggestively.

"Ew, gross!" Minako howled, gaining the attention of the room. "Ahhhhh, Mako-chan's... constipated."

Makoto slapped the ditzy girl upside the head. "Thanks, bitch! She's just full of crap, guys... no pun intended. I'm definitely not (she cringed at the word) constipated."

"Suuuuuuure," the other four crowed.

"Fuck you, Minako-chan," Makoto grumbled, sinking past the table's edge. "Just you wait until it's my turn to dare you..."


A/N: Mwhahahaha, what devilish fun! Hope you'll review! The more who do, the faster I'll attempt to update!

AngelMoon Girl