With or Without

Disclaimer: I don't own them, if I did, I wouldn't be writing this.

Rating: M

Spoilers: Anything is game.

Pairing: B/A(us) W/O X/A G/O

Chapter 1. All Wrong

Buffy lay awake, the rise and fall of the chest of the person next to her felt all wrong. She sighed. How did this happen, she wondered. Angel. Right. Riley was nice, solid, and well, human, but it was all wrong. She grabbed her clothes, and left his room.

She walked out into the cool night air. She didn't even notice as she started to walk toward Crawford Mansion. She stopped and looked up into its foreboding solitude. She sighed and walked inside. Her hand traced the wall as she walked from room to room.

She began to think of everything that had happen between her and Angel. The first time she knocked him over, to the first kiss, and the second, and the third, and the fourth, and well you get the point. Angel made her feel like she was burning. Riley made her feel empty. She had to pretend he was Angel, just to get wet enough it didn't hurt. She even had to fake her orgasms. With Angel, a look could have her dripping. Even Angelus for that matter had her hot and wet. Angelus, he would never leave his mate. He would stay or turn her, maybe even kill her, but he wouldn't leave her. Maybe he would try to suck the world into hell again, but that was already where she was.

A part of her said, what about the others. Like they even cared about her happiness. Willow had Oz, Xander had Anya, and Giles even had Olivia. They were too wrapped up in their lives to even see her. All she had was Riley, which really wasn't that much, and a giant gaping hole in her chest.

She stopped at the door to Angelus' room. Angel didn't go in here, for the most part neither did she. Now she did. She walked in, taking in the darkness. The room was huge, everywhere there was silk and satin. Deep crimson and black was the color scheme. Most of the space was dominated by a huge four-poster bed. Crimson red silk sheets and chains bolted to the wall. A shiver went through her as she thought about just what he could do to her with them.

She decided right there, she need her mate, soul or not.

A/N: Sorry it's so short, but I need to draw all the flies to my web. I figure the best way to do that is to start with quality not quantity. Don't worry, quantity is coming quite soon. Also tell me what you think, my muse is like my cat; devious, controlling, and capable of mental torture (She figured out DOORKNOBS! I will never again be able to sleep in peace! Damn Cat!) However both T.C. (my cat) and my muse can be swayed by; praise, worship, and expensive jewelery (yes my cat is able to tell the difference between a real diamond and a fake). OKay enough about my cat and muse. Just click the green button. However if you want evidence of my cat's ability to mentally torture most to all living creatures I will be happy to tell you,and use you as a witness if they try to take me to the funny farm. Okay rant done.