*is sorry* you guys, I have no excuse for not updating- I apologize profusely. I couldn't figure out how I wanted this to go, and I started working on an iCarly multi-chap, and I just sort of pushed this to the back of my mind- however, now I know exactly where this is going, so please enjoy :D


It was the hesitation that got her.

It was almost like he had heard her silent begging; Don't do this, don't leave me here!

But no, his heart was cold- and when he left, her own heart followed suit.

She began to retreat even more into her private little corner of the universe- an accomplishment, when you consider how introverted she already is.

And it's not like she wanted to be like this- she wanted nothing more than to be like Dan, no matter what she said to him- he was the likeable one, and, though she had friends before this, they weren't really her friends, just the people she sat with at lunch- she had their phone numbers, but she knew she wouldn't have called even if aunt Beatrice had let her. That's why she reads, really- the characters were her interesting friends, despite how crazy that makes her seem. Books are better than people, she realizes now, she learned her lesson.

A lesson she wishes she could have learned before all this.

His name became a bad word, and she became a nun- any indication of him, and, she thinks, she becomes him, lashing out on Dan and Nellie, getting angrier and angrier at him, and the world, for that matter.

She couldn't blame her stupidity on anyone but herself, she knew, but she still did- she could've made a list of everyone he made her hate- Dan and Nellie, Grace, even her parents, because they all didn't think to warn them, to train them for this.

She hates him.

She lo- she stops.

She tries to convince herself that he doesn't mean anything to her- he used her as a stepping stone, she can do the same to him. Theā€¦.. kiss had no meaning to her, although she had to hand it to him, she thinks with a bitter laugh, he's a good actor- if this manipulating people into thinking they're in lo-stop! Being an evil dictator thing doesn't work out, he could win an Oscar.

She tries to tell herself that it doesn't matter anyway, she doesn't even like him, he obviously has no room for feelings, so the kiss doesn't even matter.

Even though it was her first.

She throws that thought out of her mind, growing angrier at herself for even thinking that- that was worse than saying his name out loud.

Obviously, she had heard Dan Cahill's voice before, but she almost didn't recognize it. The last time he had talked like this was the day of their parent's funeral, quiet and meek, not knowing what was going to happen next.

"Ian Kabra?"

a/n: ok, so I know that this is pretty much the same as the previous chapter, but I wanted to show everyone how alike Amy and Ian are without even knowing it. Next one will be up soon, promise!