Warning* - Contains swear words and sexual situations but nothing too graphic.

All the death eaters were gathered with nervous looks on their faces except Bellatrix who was smiling slightly. Lord Voldemort stood in the centre next to a large bubbling cauldron.

"After I drink this I will be so powerful that I'll be able to swat Harry Potter like a fly" Voldemort said bringing his hands together and he let out an evil high pitched laughter. The death eaters whispered worriedly amongst themselves but Voldemort didn't seem to notice.

"Someone has to tell him, I don't think he knows" Avery whispered.

"But his so excited about this potion he'll get mad" Someone else whispered.

"Better to let him know now then to get his hopes up even more" another death eater whispered.

"You tell him Dholov" Travers whispered.

"Why me?" Dholov whispered crossing his arms.

"Your right next to the door and you can make a run for it if he tries to Crucio you" Dholov took in a couple of deep breaths and then turned towards Voldemort.

"Now you'll know the truth Bellatrix" Lestrange whispered to his wife.

"My lord is pure, he told me so himself and I'm sure his waiting for someone special" Bellatrix said with dreamy eyes.

"Is that what he told you? I can't wait till he tries the potion"

"The potion will work, my lord would never lie to me" Bellatrix whispered angrily.

"My lord" Dholov said with a shaky voice and took a step back. "For the potion to work the drinker has to be a virgin" All the death eaters held their breath waiting for Voldemort's violent outburst while Bellatrix appeared calm.

"I know Dholov" Voldemort said calmly. "I am a virgin so the potion will work on me"

"Told you so" Bellatrix whispered to her husband.

"You can't be sure he hasn't tried the potion yet" Lestrange said frowning. The other death eaters appeared shocked and broke into whispers but Voldemort's glare made them go quiet.

"What's the next instruction Lucius?" Voldemort questioned a blond haired man holding a large book.

"You have to add 3 drops of your blood to the potion. If you are a virgin the potion will turn red otherwise it will remain green and the potion will be useless to the drinker" Lucius read. Using his wand Voldemort made a cut appear on his hand and the death eaters watched with interest as he added 3 drops of his blood To Voldemort's horror the potion didn't turn red and all the death eaters gasped. Bellatrix looked absolutely furious and Lestrange smiled widely.

"Told you so" Lestrange said.

"But why would my lord-" Bellatrix trailed of and stamped towards Voldemort.

"What is the meaning of this my lord" Bellatrix shouted pointing at the cauldron.

"It's not want you think Bella" Voldemort said defensively and all the other death eaters didn't look surprised at her outburst. It was common knowledge that Bellatrix was in love with Voldemort and thought she would be together with him someday.

"I don't know why it's not working" Voldemort shouted spilling more blood but the potion remained green. "I'm a virgin, this should work" he added more blood but it was no use.

"You lied to me" Bellatrix roared.

"I did not lie" Voldemort yelled. "I would remember if I had sex with someone"

"Then why isn't the potion turning red" Bellatrix said fuming.

"Perhaps Lucius read out the instructions wrong" Voldemort said glaring at Lucius.

"My lord the potion has been brewed correctly" Lucius said taking a step back.

"It clearly hasn't if-"

"My lord I can prove the potion has been brewed correctly" Lucius cut in.


"My son Draco's a virgin and we can test it with his blood" Lucius said pointing at a red faced Draco Malfoy. All the death eaters turned to look at Draco with raised eyebrows and some laughed at him.

"Proceed" Voldemort said harshly.

"Come Draco" Draco Malfoy walked forward glaring daggers at his father and Narcissa didn't look to happy about it either.

"How could you do this to me?" Draco whispered lifting up his hand.

"Now Draco, theirs nothing wrong with being a virgin. You shouldn't lose it under peer pressure and like all respectable purebloods, you should wait until your wedding night" Draco continued to glare at his father as he made a cut on his hand and spilled his blood into the cauldron. The potion immediately turned red and all the death eaters gasped. Lestrange was jumping up and down in joy while Bellatrix looked murderous. Draco ran to his mother and Narcissa pulled him into a comforting hug while Lucius looked proud. "The potion has been brewed correctly my lord" Lucius said looking pleased. Voldemort stared at the cauldron with his mouth open.

"I don't understand, it's impossible" Voldemort shouted looking confused.

"After all this how can you still deny it" Bellatrix shouted pointing at the cauldron.

"Then why don't I remember having sex with someone" Voldemort yelled kicking the cauldron. "I'm telling you I'm a virgin"

"If I may suggest something my lord" Lestrange said trying not to smile.

"What?" Voldemort said harshly.

"There is a spell my lord that can be used to spell out the name of the person that you lost your virginity to"

"But I've told you, I'm virgin" Voldemort said frustrated.

"It wouldn't hurt to try my lord. Besides if you really are a virgin then no name should come up" Lestrange said with a slight smile.

"Fine I'll try it but I'm telling you no name will come up" Lestrange told him the spell and Voldemort muttered the incantation and waved his wand into the air. Everyone waited and Bellatrix looked hopeful. Nothing happened and Voldemort looked overjoyed but suddenly a name glowed in the air. Bellatrix screamed and all the death eaters gasped. Draco's eyes widened in shock and the potions book dropped out of Lucius's hands. The name, Ginevra Molly Weasley glowed in the air and Voldemort stared at the letters looking seriously shocked.

"How can this be?" Voldemort said weakly. "I don't understand?" Lucius exchanged a look with Snape and they both knew how that could be possible.

"You lost your virginity to a blood traitor" Bellatrix yelled. "You thought the Weasley girl was better than me and all this time I thought you loved me" Bellatrix suddenly started to cry and Lestrange put his arms around her. "I hate you" Bellatrix shouted at Voldemort. "I don't want anything to do with you"

"Bella you have to believe me" Voldemort said pleadingly.

"I'm so sorry Roddy" Bellatrix said crying into Lestrange's chest. "All this time you've been the only one that's truly loved me and I was a fool to believe the dark lord"

"I forgive you Bella" Lestrange said pulling her closer.

"Take me home and make love to me" Bellatrix said caressing Lestrange's face.

"As you wish my lady" Lestrange said lifting her into his arms. They moved towards the fireplace and Narcissa wished them a good night while the other death eaters patted Lestrange on the back.

"Bella come back" Voldemort said running after them as they disappeared from the fireplace.

"I thought you said love was weakness my lord" Goyle said suddenly. "So why are you in love with Bellatrix?"

"You idiot" Voldemort shouted. "I'm not in love with her, I just made her think that. Don't you see she was only loyal to me because she thought she had a chance with me? Now that she knows the truth I've lost my most loyal death eater" Voldemort shouted Crucioing Goyle.

Voldemort paced the room with an angry expression and the death eaters shifted nervously. He paused and glared at the letters hanging in the air and the death eaters whispered amongst themselves. "Severus" Voldemort suddenly said making Snape jump. "Bring the Weasley girl to me"

"Why me my lord?" Snape said looking uncomfortable.

"Because your the only one in the Order and you can get close to her" Voldemort yelled. "Now go before I Crucio you" Voldemort lifted his wand and Snape ran towards the fireplace. 30 minutes later the fireplace burst into flames and Snape stepped out dragging a girl.

"Always knew you were a traitor Snape" Ginny said trying to get out of Snape's grasp.

"I don't have a choice" Snape whispered into her ear. All the death eaters looked on in excitement while Lucius looked troubled. "The Weasley girl my lord" Snape said throwing her at Voldemort's feet. Ginny got up and dusted herself.

"Oh Hello Voldy" Ginny said glaring at his pale face. "In case you've forgotten it's Harry Potter you want to kill, not me" The death eaters gasped and Voldemort glared at her.

"You will not speak to me like that" he roared pointing his wand at her. "Explain to me the meaning of this" he said pointing at the floating letters.

"Why is my name hanging in the air?" She said staring at the glowing letters curiously.

"Your meant to tell me that" Voldemort shouted.

"I don't get it" Ginny said looking confused.

"According to a spell I lost my virginity to you" Voldemort shouted pointing at the floating letters and after a moment of appearing confused a look of understanding suddenly passed over her face. "I've never had sex with anyone so explain to me the meaning of this" Voldemort yelled and Ginny smirked at him.

"Oh I remember" Ginny said with dreamy eyes. "We were up on the astronomy tower when he both did it for the first time" The death eaters gasped and Lucius looked seriously uncomfortable.

"What?" Voldemort shouted backing away from her. "Stop lying or I'll Crucio you"

"You wouldn't obviously remember, I mean you were Tom Marvolo Riddle at that time" Voldemort looked confused.

"You knew me when I was Tom" Voldemort said scratching his head. "But I didn't associate with girls at Hogwarts and your way too young to have attended school with me 50 years ago" Ginny laughed clutching her side.

"You mean Lucy didn't tell you" Ginny said pointing at Lucius who was nervously biting his finger nails.

"Tell me what?" Voldemort shouted. Ginny explained the whole diary thing in her first year and everyone was listening with interest. Lucius Malfoy was hugging his wife looking terrified and Draco was staring at Ginny with a look of disgust.

"Tom was your Horcrux and had a piece of your soul" Ginny continued. "Since I did it with Tom and you have the same soul as him, magic can't distinguish between the two of you and so your not a virgin anymore"

"But-but that's not fair" Voldemort said looking horrified. "I never really had sex with anyone"

"Yeah well. Quoting Professor Severus Snape, 'Life isn't fair'. Face it Voldy" Voldemort paced the room hissing and clutching his head.

"I preserved the memory of my sixteen year old self" Voldemort said stopping his pacing.

"I know" Ginny said with dreamy eyes.

"But you were only eleven at the time" Voldemort said weakly and Ginny smiled mischievously.

"Being the only girl in a family with loads of hormone crazy teenage brother's means they sometimes play with their sister" Ginny said raising her eyebrows. "If you know what I mean by play" Voldemort opened and closed his mouth several times.

"Yeah so I knew about sex and the pleasures it could bring" Ginny said crossing her arms. "Harry wasn't noticing me and my brothers were so overprotective they wouldn't let me near another boy. I was so horny all the time that I had to please myself. Then this gorgeous older boy came out of the diary in my bedroom one night and well I couldn't resist the sexy Tom Marvolo Riddle" Ginny finished in a high pitched voice and Voldemort cringed.

"He was trying to scare me with his penetrating looks and long words which just turned me on even more." Ginny continued. "So I just grabbed his crotch and you should have seen the look of fear on his face. I was so shocked to learn that a boy of his age didn't know what sex or wanking was." Ginny shook her head with a frown. "Honestly Voldy, didn't you ever wonder why men and women got together. Can't really blame you though, it's not like Hogwarts has sex education"

Voldemort glared at her and the death eaters looked at Voldemort with raised eyebrows. "Well I was so disappointed that he didn't know what to do but I seriously wanted to lose my virginity." Ginny said with a glazed look. "I had this plan in my head but I knew it would be too noisy and wake up everyone in my dorm room so I persuaded him to come up to the astronomy tower. He thought I needed help naming the stars but once he got there I took him by surprise and petrified him. Then I tied his hands and ankles with ropes and unpetrified him."

Voldemort had a look of horror on his face and Draco was eyeing Ginny with interest. "He kept screaming in terror while I removed his clothes and then I touched him in the right place a couple of times. Naturally he got hard and he kept telling me he was scared of the weird tightening feeling in his stomach and how he wanted me to stop touching him. He had no clue what I was doing when I sat on top of him. I still remember that look of pure fear on his face when I grabbed his hardness and guided it inside me. Once he was deep inside me, he was begging for it and he kept asking me to move faster. Eventually he got the hang of the whole thing and he didn't seem angry with me so I untied him. He immediately jumped on top of me and took over. Merlin, he was so good for someone newly introduced and my legs were numb for a week"

"You mean you-you raped me" Voldemort whispered hugging himself.

"Well Tom said that I liberated him and after that we were always doing it. We fell in love with each other and-"

"I would never fall in love with anyone" Voldemort said interrupting.

"Well Tom did love me and he actually said the words I love you but he still didn't want to let go of his dreams of world domination. I agreed to help him and so we planned the whole chamber of secret thing to lure Harry Potter. See the idea was that Tom would kill Harry Potter and absorb his life force and then we would live together happily ever after but it all went horribly wrong. Harry fucking Potter killed my beloved and thought he had rescued me. Well Tom was dead and I just had to move on and settle for second best. So I started dating Harry Potter but I'll never love him like I loved Tom"

"You love me and not Harry" Voldemort said weakly.

"I don't love you Voldy, I love Tom" Ginny said furiously.

"But we're the same person"

"No your not, I said magically your souls are linked but your not him"

"Since it's your fault I'm not a virgin anymore" Voldemort said walking closer to her. "Can you make out with me so I know what sex feels like?" Voldemort said sounding hopeful.

"Hell no" Ginny said taking a step back.

"Why not? You didn't mind when I was younger" Voldemort snapped.

"Yeah well, back then you looked human but now your a monster" Ginny said stepping back.

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't care how I looked like"

"I don't love you. I love Tom and no matter what you believe, you aren't the same person"

"Capture her" Voldemort shouted and Ginny ran as the death eater's chased after her.

"I popped Voldy's cherry" Ginny shouted running around the room. "I'm sure Bellatrix will have you" Ginny shouted dodging a spell.

"It's your fault she hates me" Voldemort shouted.

"Tough luck Voldy" Ginny shouted stepping into the fireplace and disappeared.

"Lucius this is all your fault" Voldemort screamed.

"I'm sorry my lord" Lucius said shaking.

"Well I'll forgive you if you give Narcissa to me for one night" Voldemort said looking Narcissa up and down.

"Fuck no" Narcissa shouted.

"Not my Mother" Draco shouted.

"I don't think so my lord" Lucius said grabbing his wife and son. Draco threw some instant darkness powder from his pocket.

"Draco what have done?" Lucius shouted.

"Follow me, I have the hand of glory to guide me" With Draco's help the Malfoy family escaped from Voldemort's mansion.

"Great, thanks to that wench I've lost another 2 death eaters" Voldemort fixed his eyes on the female Carrow.

"Not my sister my lord" Carrow's bother said grabbing her and they escaped through the fireplace.

"Great another 2 death eaters" Voldemort yelled. "No more females left" he said scanning the room. "Well maybe being gay isn't so bad" Hearing that all the death eaters made a run for it and disappeared. Voldemort glared at Ginny's name hanging in the air. "Stupid bitch, because of you all my death eaters have abandoned me" Voldemort bent down and lovingly stroked his snake. "At least I have you Nagini" Voldemort carried the snake to his bedroom and laid it on his bed. "Maybe animals aren't that bad" Voldemort said stroking the snake fondly and he said something to the snake in parseltongue. The snake's eyes widened and it slithered away fast. "Nagini not you too" Voldemort shouted as the snake escaped through the window.

"Damn it, can't even go to a whore house cause the aurors are looking for me" Sighing Voldemort lay on his bed. "Back to me and my hand again" Voldemort said reaching down. "Should have banged Bella when I had the chance"

One week later:

Voldemort was facing Harry Potter alone after all his death eaters refused to re-join him.

"What happen to all your followers?" Harry asked while they duelled.

"Why don't you ask your whore of a girlfriend?" Voldemort shouted.

"Don't speak about Ginny like that" Harry yelled angrily.

"You know Potter" Voldemort said suddenly laughing. "I popped her cherry, how do you feel that I tasted her first?"

"Good try Voldy" Harry said laughing. "Ginny wasn't a virgin when she met me and before that time you weren't even resurrected so theirs no way you were her first"

"That's because it was T-"

"Silenco" Ginny yelled appearing and Voldemort's words couldn't be heard. "Kill him Harry his just stalling" Ginny shouted.

"Avada Kedavra" Harry roared and Voldemort dropped dead. Harry clutched his scar in pain and dropped to the floor.

"Don't worry Gin" Harry said weakly. "Dumbledore told me I'm Voldemort's Horcrux and it's gonna take a while for his soul to leave my body"

"I know" Ginny said with a sad look. "I'm so sorry Harry but I can't let his soul leave your body" Ginny said pointing her wand at him.

"Ginny what do you mean?" Harry croaked shaking.

"Do it now my love" Tom's ghost said suddenly appearing.

"Tom Riddle" Harry said disbelievingly. "Voldemort was referring to him, wasn't he" Harry suddenly said understanding. "Now it all makes sense"

"I've always loved him Harry. Don't you see you were meant to die in the chamber, Tom never really meant to harm me"

"All this time you were-" Harry trailed of looking hurt.

"So sorry Harry but now you'll get to see your parents and be happy" Ginny said bringing out Tom's ruined diary.

"Where did you-" Harry trailed of.

"Stole it from Dumbledore's office" Ginny said placing Tom's diary on Harry's chest.

"What are you doing?" Harry tried to push Ginny away but it was no use. "Instead of Voldemort's soul leaving your body, I'm going to make your soul leave your body. Then I'm going to merge Tom's remaining soul from the diary with Voldemort's one inside. That will strengthen Tom and he'll be able to come back inside your body"

"Why did you wait until now?" Harry said weakly. "Why didn't you kill me before?"

"Because he can't truly be alive while Voldemort lives and I needed Voldemort's living Horcrux to make it work. Your the only living Horcrux Harry and the only one that could kill Voldemort"

"So you waited for me to kill Voldemort so you could bring Tom back"

"Yes Harry and I'm sorry but I'll make it quick"

"Ginny no" Harry said weakly.

"Hurry Ginevra, remember what I taught you" Tom's ghost said. Ginny started muttering incantations and waving her wand. Harry let out a cry and closed his eyes. The diary glowed and the ghost Tom disappeared. The diary suddenly sank into Harry's chest and Harry opened his eyes.

"Tom is that you?" Ginny said uncertainly.

"Ginevra my love" Harry's voice said.

"Tom" Ginny shouted hugging him.

"Harry" Hermione voice sounded and Ginny let go of him.

"Oh Harry your alive" Hermione said hugging Harry. "And you killed Voldemort"

"Yes I did kill Voldemort" Harry said looking at Voldemort's corpse. Smirking Harry exchanged a look with Ginny.

Over the weeks Harry was busy giving interviews and hanging out with the golden trio. No one suspected that Harry Potter was actually Tom Marvolo Riddle. All the death eaters claimed that Voldemort had imperiused them to follow him and that the actual reason they had deserted him was when the curse finally broke. The ministry couldn't find any other convincing reasons and freed all the death eaters. Later on Harry and Ginny got married. Smiling Harry carried his bride to their bedroom and laid her down on their bed.

"Tom change in to your original form" Ginny said licking her lips.

"Thank Merlin, I hate being Harry Potter" Harry suddenly morphed into Tom Riddle and Ginny stared at him with dreamy eyes.

"No more world domination or wishes to become a dark lord" Ginny said glaring at him suddenly.

"Of course my love, I was young and foolish back then but now with you here to guide me I won't do any wrong" Tom said stripping and Ginny drooled. "No one can be a better teacher than you, remember that time up at the astronomy tower" Ginny blushed red. "That was one of the best classes of my life Professor Ginevra Weasley" he whispered into her ear. "I've been doing a lot of homework and I'd like to show you something I've learnt" He unzipped Ginny's wedding dress and pulled her into a standing position. Soon screams of "Oh my God Tom, fuck yeah" filled the room. 30 minutes later an urgent knock sounded on the door and Ron and Hermione's voice called to them.

"Shit Tom, did you add the silencing spell" Ginny whispered.

"Crap, I forgot" Tom said releasing her.

"Quick change back into Harry" Tom morphed into Harry and they both covered themselves with bed sheets. Ginny opened the door with an angry expression and Ron looked at the floor while Hermione appeared embarrassed.

"Can't I enjoy my own wedding night?" Ginny said glaring at them.

"Sorry Ginny" Hermione said. "It's just we heard you call out Tom and well we got worried about-" Hermione trailed of.

"Oh well erm-Ginny wanted to do role playing" Harry said walking closer. "I wanted to be Voldemort and since Voldemort was too ugly we settled for his younger version Tom."

"Why in the name of Merlin would you want to be Voldemort?" Ron suddenly said looking angry. "And why the hell would you want Voldemort to bang you?" Ron said pointing at Ginny.

"Erm-well being an evil dark lord while your having sex is a turn on" Harry said defensively.

"Of course you wouldn't know anything about role playing Ronald" Ginny said fuming. "You should try it before you knock it" Ron and Hermione exchanged a look.

"Well sorry Ginny but you should add the silencing charm" Hermione said turning to leave.

"Sorry about that T-I mean Harry forgot" Ginny said glaring at Harry.

"Sorry" Ron muttered leaving and Ginny shut the door feeling relieved.

"That was close" Ginny said placing the silencing charm.

"Yeah sorry" Harry said morphing back into Tom.

"What the hell was all that about role playing?" Ginny said shoving him onto the bed.

"That was the most believable explanation my dear" Tom said kissing her neck.

"They'll never figure out our secret" Ginny said laughing.

"No they never will" Tom said pressing his lips against hers.

I just got back from an important exam. I'm high on caffine and I haven't slept for 2 days so I know this story's utter crap but at least you know why.

Leave reviews if you liked it.