"HENTAI! HENTAI HENTAI HENTAI HEEEEEEEEEEENTAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII!" Aika Kyoraku raged at her older brother.
"Imouto-chan let me explain!" Shunsui Kyoraku, 8th squad captain, said nervously. Aika would have none of it.
"How many times have I told you not to go into my room?! Not even a meter near it?"
"I was just folding your clothes!"
"FOLDING MY UNDERWEAR!" she shouted, "Do you do this to every girl in Seireitei?"
"I'd like to."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGG!" she screamed and slammed the door.
"Imouto! Let me hug you and make it better!"
"YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING IT WORSE! BREAK HIS HEART, KOUCHOU!" Aika yelled, unsheathing her Zanpakutou. Out popped a teen, headphones over his ears, purple shirt and green pants. He was holding a microphone and glaring at Shunsui with a vengeance.
"The star of the show has arrived! Die you dirty under-garment sniffing PERV!"
"WAIT! YOU'LL GET ARRESTED IF YOU ATTACK ME!"
"Get him! Break his heart and his face!" Shunsui launched himself at his sister, locking her in a hug.
"DON'T HURT ME IMOUTO-CHAN!"
"You really need to find a new hobby, Hentai-nii," Aika said after a couple of seconds.
"Why would I need to do that when you always forgive me?"
"Intermission!" Kouchou said menacingly before disappearing again.
"Gah! Just kidding!"
"I forgive you, Hentai-nii."
"I'll drink to that!" he said happily.
"Aww, come on, Imouto-chan!" Shunsui said as he poured two glasses, "Sake is good for the soul!"
"You know very well that my body cannot handle liquor." Shunsui pulled her to the ground.
"Lighten up, Imouto-chan! You're much more fun when you're drunk!"
"Hentai-nii, why not call Ukitake-Taichou?"
"He's in bed with a cold."
"He's a stiff."
"He'd KILL ME!"
"Well what about-" He cut her off.
"I want to drink with you, Imouto-chan!" he whined. Aika sighed.
"No, I'm leaving." And with that, Aika left the room, leaving a stunned and disappointed Shunsui behind. Or so we thought. Finally, he thought as less than innocent thoughts filled his head; it is time to investigate Imouto-chan's room!
Meanwhile, Aika was thinking as well.
"Why are you so strange, Hentai-nii?" she asked herself. I wish he'd make up his mind, she thought, Is he immature, a perv, or just plain stupid?! … Meh, probably all three.
She stared at the vast expanse of Seireitei. There was no other way to put it. Aika was bored.
"GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO!" she yelled to no one. Many of the passing by souls thought she had finally cracked after living with the 8th squad captain for more than two years. That was not the case.
"EEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" cried the one and only, Yumichika Ayesagawa.
"Eh? Yumi-chan?" she said to herself before dashing to the source of the noise. Quickly she barged in.
"What's up?" she asked excitedly. Yumichika looked ready to cry. With a shaking finger he pointed to a small black dot on his left arm.
"IT'S A TICK!"
"A tick! A TICK IS MARRING MY BEAUTIFUL SKIN!" he yelled frantically, "And Imouto is off chasing Taichou with a camera so she obviously can't pull it off. Besides, there is NO WAY I am touching that ugly beast!" Aika was disappointed. But hey, she thought, it's something to do. She quickly pulled off the tiny bug.
"KILL IT!" Yumichika yelled, "It had the nerve to blemish my gorgeous skin! It deserves to die." Aika quickly cut the tick in half.
"This is why I call you Yumi-chan."
"It is not my fault! Anyone would look feminine when you have Imouto as a sister."
"Which is why I call her Yumi-kun."
"You can't when she's around Taichou. Have a seat." Aika quickly sat.
"True," she said thoughtfully, "when she's around him, she gets all starry-eyed and girly."
"Who's starry-eyed and girly?" demanded Yumiko Ayesagawa, younger of the Ayesagawa twins by seventeen minutes.
"Yumi-kun, when'd you get here?"
"Just now, I finally got Kenny to pose in a picture! AND, the best part is, it only took me five hours!"
"How long did it take last time?"
"Oh, about nine hours. Kenny runs really fast!"
"Uh-huh. Yumi-kun, you do know that is not normal?"
"Oh don't worry, I do it all the time."
"And how's that work out for you?"
"Well, normally, I sneak up on him and snap a photo, then he gets mad and runs. And then I say, 'WAIT KENNY, WAIT!' Then he says, 'DAMMIT YUMIKO! STOP CHASING ME!' Then I go, 'NOT UNTIL I GET A PICTURE!' Then he goes, 'I'LL LET YOU TAKE A PICTURE IF YOU CAN CATCH ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And today, I was lucky!"
"What?" she asked, annoyed.
"You do know that that is not normal, right?"
"Normality is not beautiful!" said Yumichika and Yumiko in unison. Aika blinked in surprise.
"Okay." (Just for Zoey, a little Kyle the Saxophone player reaction.) Suddenly Aika realized Shunsui was still at home. Alone. Unsupervised. With her room. Alone. Aika shuddered.
"What's up," asked the twins in unison.
"I have a funny feeling that there will be twelve captains instead of thirteen in the morning," Aika said angrily, "Thanks for having me, I'm gonna go beat Hentai-nii to a pulp now! Bye!"
"I feel bad for Kyoraku-taichou," Yumichika said a few minutes after Aika had left, "Hey! Imouto, can I see the pictures?"
"HENTAI-NII, EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Aika raged.
"DON'T HURT MEEEEEEEEEEE, IMOUTO-CHAAAAAAAAAN!"
"WHY SHOULDN'T I?"
"Ahem!" Both siblings slowly turned and found themselves face to face with the Captain Commander Yamamoto, himself, or, his voice, at least. A small black butterfly fluttered into the room.
"Captain Commander Yamamoto!" Aika yelled in surprise.
"No need to yell, Imouto-chan."
"I have orders for you two."
"Both of you, along with the Ayesagawa twins, the Aizen siblings, Ichimaru siblings, Hitsugaya siblings, and Captains Zaraki, Kuchiki, and Unohana, will be monitoring Karakura Town. Keep your eye out for anything suspicious. Contact us immediately if anything or anyone attacks you. The Captains will be posing as teachers at the resident High School, excepting Captain Hitsugaya." The siblings suppressed a snicker.
"Your teaching positions are as follows: Kuchiki, history, Aizen, math, Ichimaru, homeroom, Hitsugaya, senior, Zaraki, language arts, Unohana, school nurse, Kyoraku, science." Shunsui smiled, Aika blanched.
"When do we leave?" she whispered.
"Very well! Bye-bye, Captain Commander!" Shunsui said happily. The butterfly flew out the window.
"Science?" Aika asked incredulously.
"Mm-hmm! Imouto! This means I get to give you 'The Talk'."
"I have no doubt you know plenty about that. What really bothers me is that you'll be in a room full of High School girls in short skirts."
"Aww, Imouto-chan, don't worry! I only have eyes for you!"