Chapter 2

Ways to annoy Edward

Paint all the furniture in Edward's room white, and replace all of him CDs with my brother's CD collection.

Hide Bella and tell Edward that Alice won't let him see her until he wears a dress in public and does the chicken dance.

Force him to wear woman's clothing and hang around in bars.

Call him Eddie-kins.

Stick him in a cage with Jacob and tell them you won't let them out until the other one is dead. (Make sure to drug Edward before you stick him in the cage.)

Kidnap Bella and tell Edward she is with Jacob.

Pour glitter allover yourself and run around the house saying "look I'm Edward Cullen!"

Tell Edward that while he was gone Jacob imprinted on Bella and didn't tell her.

Ask Alice to replace all of Edward's clothes with Rosalie's before he goes on a date with Bella.

Tell him that there are more Jasper fan girls than Edward fan girls.