Alice Pov.

I looked into the vast world of the future to see who would go next. It seemed Jasper had a story though I'm not sure anyone's could be better than Emmett's story.

"So who's it gonna be?" Bella urged getting a little bored.

"My love, Jazzy Ka-Wazzy".

"I told you not to say that in front of people." Jasper murmured quietly, embarrassed everyone knew his pet name.

"Oh shush, well your story?"

Jasper Pov

I scanned trough my memories trying to find something. I found the right one I hoped they weren't disappointed. It was truly the oddest thing I've ever done.

"Ok, well about three years ago..."


Lovely, beautiful, tropical Alice. We had just come back from our island vacation at Esme's Island. Alice suggested we be like tribal people of course that meant grass skirts and coconut bras, I still wonder why I wore that. I'm so whipped.

Everyone was otherwise occupied and Alice was unpacking our stuff I offered to help but she said "I think I need to colour coordinate your shoes again". Right, then I was watching an awful show called Ugly Betty. She really is Ugly Betty.

The life of Vampires ain't what it seems. Thankfully an ad came on. Is was a wonderful building with a yellow 'M' on top and a man holding up a burger.

"This Bigmac is for absolutely everyone with a delicious burger, drink and fries for only $4.95 limited time only."

How ridiculous, who talks like that. Strangely I couldn't get the ad out of my head. I think I want a Bigmac. I called up to Alice telling her I was going to the mall for an anniversary gift. Wrong move, she immediately insisted she come something about, "Gucci sale once in a lifetime". Although I told her I needed to do this on my own and raced out into Alice's Porsche. I used this really good program on my phone called 'GPS' to find the closest McDonalds.

-Ten minutes later-

I went through the drive thru and came up to the window.

"Hi, how may I help you? Wow!" Typical, The girl stood there staring at me then at my car, maybe it would've been better if I took Emmett's Jeep.

Great Jasper, way to look gay.

"Hello, Can I have the-" I paused and thought about how to say it, "...Big Mac"

"Oh, Four Ninety-Five". She looked a little disappointed now.

I handed her a five dollar note and drove to the next window. Oh good a man least I'll get my food in less than an hour. He turned around to face me and gasped.

"Wow, you're beautiful" My god, maybe I should reconsider Subway.

"Yes...Is my order ready?"

He handed me a bag and his number I smiled and drove off a little faster.

When I arrived at a quiet street I took out the burger and brought it to my mouth. Quickly I threw it into my mouth and chewed slowly. It was awful...

I jumped out of the car and stood in the middle of the road.


He started yelling and running away. I sat back into my chair i the car after I threw up my burger. I thought why not and started eating the chips and drinking the coke in a rhythm. Chip, Drink, Chip, Drink, Chip, Drink, Chi-...It's gone I finished it and I liked it.

I drove home wondering why I liked that foul human food.

-Twenty minutes later-

"Alice, I'm home!"

"Honey" She zoomed down her smile disappearing when she saw me, "I thought you were buying me a present?"

"Well they were all out of the stock I wanted so it's getting shipped from Canada in about a week. I'm sorry honey."

"It's ok, gives me time to get you one darling."

"Oi! Enough with the Honey and Darling." Emmett of course ruined the moment.

"What's that smell?"

"Uh, well a kid was eating and walked past me in the mall and the food spilt on my hands. Don't worry the clothes are good."

"Oh terrific." She started to walk away, "Are you okay?"

I nodded and smiled as she walked up to our room and beckoned me to come as well.

-End Flashback-

"So you didn't get food spilt on you and you didn't get my present shipped from Canada?" Alice asked deep in thought.

"No sorry, honey."

"It's okay you just wanted to explore the world. And get a phone number." She growled.

"I threw it away!"

Alice got up and sat on my lap hugging me, I love her too much to ever hurt her.

"So Jazzy, how did it taste?" Emmett asked innocently.

"IT WAS A BIGMAC HOW DO YOU THINK? Well, the fries weren't that bad." I replied before storming off into my little bat cave and dropped little Alice onto the floor.

I'm not talking about our room I seriously made a bat cave.


"Oh no, Batman activate"

Yes, now I'm invisible.