Disclaimer: Everything related to Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
[Thanks, Taylor!]
Chapter 12: Heartache
Throughout the week, Bella tried her hardest to avoid Lindsey. But living under the same roof made it difficult; they invariably crossed paths. When Friday morning came, and Bella dreadfully made her way to the bathroom, the door was locked and the sounds of the shower drifted. That set Bella off immediately.
"Lindsey!" She threw her bag of toiletries to the floor so that she could pound on the door with both fists. "Get out of the bathroom!" Her voice was so acerbic that Charlie frantically dashed up the stairs. At the sight of him, Bella shrieked, a blood curdling cry.
"Get her out!" Each word fell sharply from her tight lips. Charlie had never seen her throw so many fits as she did in the past week. He didn't understand how she could detest her own cousin so irately.
"Bella," Charlie reasoned. "Calm down."
"No, Dad. I will not calm down. I need to get in the bathroom so that I can get ready for school. I'm already in a bad mood and the last thing I need is her," she spat the word, "getting in the way."
Charlie's brow puckered for a moment before his eyes lit up.
"Why don't you take Lindsey to school with you today?"
Bella's face tensed in protest. "No, thanks."
"Come on, Bells. She's family, and you're not acting like it. I'm tired of your attitude."
"Dad, she hates me too."
Charlie was getting impatient now. "You don't hate each other. Can you at least try to get along?"
Bella raised her eyebrows. "Can Jacob be allowed in my room?"
Charlie shot her a reproachful look. "Nice try." Bella's face fell instantly.
"I'm not taking her to school."
Charlie deliberated for a moment before glancing at his watch, noting the time. He was late for work and didn't have the patience to deal with all the teenage estrogen.
"Fine!" he grumbled. "Jacob can be in your room but only when I'm home. And you're taking Lindsey to school." With a stern expression, Charlie descended the stairs and clomped out the door with his boots barely on his feet.
Bella half smiled and groaned at the same time, but pounded on the bathroom door.
"What?" Lindsey hissed, emerging through a wall of steam wrapped in a white towel, long cascades of wet hair falling around her face.
"Get dressed, you're coming to school with me," she said grudgingly, before pushing past Lindsey into the bathroom and shutting the door.
She showered slowly, letting the warm water untangle the tense knots in her back. She was peaceful under the spray, until the warm water ran out, being replaced with freezing cold. Lindsey had used up all the hot water, and Bella's quota of patience for the day.
She trumped unhappily out of the bathroom toward her room, where she heedlessly threw on clothes without looking at them. She tied her hair up into a ponytail and grabbed her school things. The whole process took all of five minutes.
When she got down to the door and stuffed her feet into her boots, she yelled up the stairs for Lindsey to hurry up. She draped her rain jacket over her arm and snatched her keys off the hook, throwing a fleeting look toward the empty stairs.
She sighed loudly and started toward the staircase. "Lindsey," she grumbled.
"I'm ready," Lindsey announced, appearing at the top step. She took one look at Bella's agitated face and mumbled to herself, "sheesh." Bella rolled her eyes at Lindsey's outfit; a strappy green mini dress with black ballet flats.
"Do you know where we are?" she asked acidly. "It's going to rain. And be cold. And wash all that stupid mascara away," she added under her breath. Lindsey ignored her jibes and the two of them locked up the house and got into Bella's Chevy.
"This truck is gross," Lindsey stated, trying to get into the truck without touching anything. She turned to Bella's apathetic expression. "And it's manly."
Bella turned with her mouth open, eyes slitted, but didn't respond. She just put the car in drive and pulled out of the driveway, already dreading the day ahead of her.
At the Cullen house, Edward and Alice were in the living room getting ready to leave for school. Edward was standing near the long couch, looking down on the floor where Bella had passed out a week ago. Alice turned and looked at his pained expression and sighed.
She walked over to stand right in front of him.
"Edward, are you blind?" She grabbed his chin and turned his face, forcing him to look at her. She pointed to her forehead. "Look." He did. He watched the foggy future flash before his eyes. Most events were outlined in black, still undecided. The last image was crystal clear, set in stone.
Edward closed his eyes, wishing he could believe her, and knowing that secretly he did. If there was one thing he would never doubt, it was Alice.
"Maybe I wish that weren't true." He finally said, looking into Alice's deep eyes.
"What do you mean?" she asked quizzically. "Don't you want to be with Bella?"
"Of course I do," he snapped, regarding her with a pretentious gaze. "But things haven't changed. I'm still a vampire. She's still a human. She's better off with Jacob."
Alice didn't know if she agreed, but nodded. "It's Bella's choice, anyway."
"I know."
"Hey," she smiled. "I don't need your ability to know what you're thinking. And you are worth it."
"Come on," he grabbed her stone cold hand. "Let's go to school."
The minute Lindsey stepped out of Bella's truck, the entire parking lot turned to stare. It was like Bella's first day of school all over again. The only difference was that this time around the attention was being thwarted to her cousin, who was beaming, gladly welcoming the other student's interest.
Bella grabbed Lindsey by the elbow, hard, and smiled when she heard her complain. She dragged her across the parking lot until she arrived at the Silver Volvo that was parked in its usual spot. Apropos to nothing, Alice jumped out of the car and flew over to hug Lindsey.
"It's so great to meet you, Lindsey!" she gushed, shocking Lindsey with the charming Cullen smile. Lindsey stared at Bella, unsure, and she couldn't help but smile at her reluctance.
"Alice…" Bella warned, laughing lightly. She pulled away with her hands up and gave Lindsey a once over. Her smile became even more brilliant.
"I love your dress!" she complimented and then turned to Bella. "At least someone in the family can dress appropriately. I was starting to think it was a genetic abnormality." Bella rolled her eyes. The first bell rang, so the three departed and headed to class. They parted ways in the middle of the quad, and Bella led Lindsey to her history class in building two.
Everywhere they went, people stared. Mike tried to talk to her several times to no avail. "Don't bother Mike," Bella chided in the middle of history class. "The girl's the devil." That made Mike feel a little better, but he sat quietly in rejection for the rest of the period. As was predicted, Tyler ran over to them when the bell rang, practically drooling all over the desks.
"Bella," he said, keeping his eyes on Lindsey the whole time. "Who's your friend?" Lindsey giggled like a child, making Bella gag.
"This is my cousin, Lindsey," she said apathetically.
"I'm Tyler," he said, holding out his hand. Lindsey took it, smiling flirtatiously.
The rest of the day went pretty much the same way. The boys in each class tried to flirt with her, while Bella sat and rolled her eyes. She always enjoyed the boys' reactions when she told them that Lindsey was only staying for another week, and that this was the only day she was bringing her to school.
After calculus, Bella met Alice outside her classroom like usual. She and Lindsey were fighting about their plans for the evening. Bella refused to go shopping in Seattle like Lindsey wanted. Of course it didn't help any that Alice was more than willing to go along.
"Come on, Bella!" she whined. "You haven't gone shopping with me in so long."
"No Alice!" Bella retorted. Lindsey and Alice walked alongside Bella to the cafeteria with their arms across their chests, wearing matching scowls.
The moment the three girls walked into the lunch room, Bella could feel Lindsey stiffen at her side. She looked to her nervously, despite their strong discord, and didn't have to follow Lindsey's line of vision to know what she was staring at.
"Who is that?" Lindsey breathed, her eyes widening and a flirty smiling dancing around her lips. As expected, Edward Cullen was sitting in all of his majestic glory, his back stiff with tension as Lindsey's eyes scrutinized him.
Alice rolled her eyes and danced over to sit next to him, whispering happily in his ear.
"That's Edward Cullen," Bella answered. "Alice's brother." It hurt Bella to say it, but that was the best description she could manage.
"He is gorgeous," Lindsey remarked, eagerly drifting over to the table.
"Obviously," Bella said curtly under her breath, walking over to the table as well. Lindsey tried to take the open seat next to Edward, but Bella snuck up from behind her and sat down. She scowled and shuffled to the seat next to Bella.
Edward didn't even look Lindsey's way but leaned in to whisper in Bella's ear. "Alice's brother? Ouch." His voice had a joking edge to it but Bella could also hear the hurt he was trying to disguise.
"Sorry," she managed to mumble, her voice barely audible. She couldn't bring herself to joke along.
Lindsey leaned onto the table, trying to peek around Bella. She tried, unsuccessfully, to get Edward's attention. Bella completely disregarded her cousin, and engaged in a conversation with Edward and Alice instead.
Halfway through lunch, Edward murmured quietly to Bella again. "You know, I'm quite disappointed." Bella turned to look at him, clearly confused. His golden eyes never failed to mesmerize her. "I can read your cousin's mind, but still nothing coming from up here," he lightly tapped Bella's forehead. She smiled in response. "And," Edward continued. "Her blood smells like trash." Bella let out a loud bubbled chuckle, making Edward grin satisfactorily.
Seeing Edward's breathtaking smile, Lindsey turned to Bella with her mouth open. "You have to get me a date with him." Bella scoffed, the blood boiling to her face. Picturing Lindsey and Edward together made her want to vomit. Irrational tears of anger sprang to her eyes.
"No!" Her voice was louder than a whisper but she couldn't control her shaking voice. "He's off limits!"
"What do you mean he's off limits? He has a girlfriend?"
"Yes," Bella said hesitantly.
Lindsey narrowed her eyes, obviously not buying it. "Oh yeah, who?"
"You can't date him!" Bella exploded. Edward gave her a puzzled look, having heard the whole thing. She caught his expression and jumped up to leave. She couldn't take all the faces that were staring at her.
She started to shake as her resolve came crumbling down.
"Bella, where are you going?" Edward asked, his voice soft. He stood from the table and started following her to the door.
"I…I nee…need to go see Jacob," she stuttered, turning to leave. Edward grabbed her arm gently.
"Bella," he murmured at the sudden mention of Jacob's name. "I know exactly what you tried to do." He looked right into her eyes and suddenly flashes of guilt flooded through Bella's head. She loved Jacob. With all her heart. But, a small part of her wondered if she had just used him in an attempt to stop loving Edward. She wondered if Edward could see this too.
He suddenly pulled her out of her thoughts. "Unfortunately, though, your plan went horribly wrong."
She looked up in surprise. "Why is that?"
"Because I'll never stop loving you."
And at that Bella started to cry, long strings of salty tears flowing freely now, traveling down her cheeks and plummeting to the linoleum floor. Everyone turned to stare at her, but she couldn't move her legs. She lifted her hands and fiercely wiped away the drops of moisture there, allowing all the regret and grief she had been fighting down to surface.
Edward stood there awkwardly, not knowing how or if to comfort her. He had never seen Bella in such distress, and for once he felt utterly useless. Like clockwork, Alice flitted through the cafeteria and managed to wrap her arms around Bella and successfully push her out of the public area, toward the hallways. Once they were in the private corridor, under the dim light of the fluorescents, Bella's sobs turned to hiccups. Alice looked back, and had to turn away at the sight left behind; her solemn brother, hundreds of gawking faces, and a faint trail of her best friend's tears leading out the door. Creases of worry aged her perfect face as visions of the future shifted before her eyes.