Just some useless KenMayu fic to keep my head out of the gutter… I'd be updating Everyone's a Critic, A series of Unmentionable Events and Bits and Pieces soon. :D To all the deprived KenMayu fans out there, what shall I add in my second chapter? I would be happy if ya' reviewed. It'd make my day.

It was a boring day. Unranked Shinigami, in all their inexperienced awareness, ran around the whole of Seireitei. They exchanged hellos with their friends, ate and trained to become stronger, or just to gain a respectable position. Smiles and naïve compliments swarmed through the divisions, only a few of them contained raw talent to become a true leader. Mayuri scoffed, unranked wastes of a fighter were not any different from the obnoxious seated Shinigami. Only a few of the seated officers dashed around the divisions, their minds completely overwhelmed by the chaos. No more than a handful. It was sad, really. He didn't believe in Seireitei's future generation, well, most of his seated officers were suited for the job, but that was not the point.

Typing on the keypad with long fingers, he shut it down and watched as the monitor faded to black. Glancing at the clock shaped oddly like a frog, he groaned and closed his eyes. Five forty-five am, which meant that it was his fifth day without sleep. He should really get a bigger clock to keep track of time, something big and flashy, maybe a few bells here and there…

"Miss me?"

A soft whisper on his neck stopped his wandering mind. How the intruder managed to sneak past every security system reminded him of a certain pink haired…

"Only an idiot would. Get out."

"Eh, you hurt me, Kurotsuchi."

"Oh? The great Zaraki Kenpachi can be wounded so easily?"

A chuckle. "I didn't know ya' think so much of me. I'm touched, Mayu-chan."

"I don't, and call me Kurotsuchi Taichou. You imbecile."

Sensing the smaller man's aura getting darker every passing moment, he decided that it was the perfect moment where he could catch him off guard. Really off guard. Counting to ten in his mind while ignoring the rambling scientist was not an easy thing to do, so he bothered not to count anymore and just dive in for the kill. It was much more fun that way. Leaning forward with lightning speed, he stopped centimeters short from Mayuri's face. Without second thought, he did the most reasonable thing any sane-logically challenged and murderous- person would do and licked the painted lips, smearing the paint off as well.

Mayuri, being shocked as hell when he felt something warm and wet slide over his lips, opened his eyes as wide as he can and immediately drew back. Due to the sudden movement of the twelfth division Captain, the –scientifically enhanced- springs bounced back with the same force resulting in him crashing to the much bigger man. He gave a gasp and fell on top of Kenpachi, who was busy laughing to himself, and the two froze in that position on the cold tiled floor. Mayuri, being much smaller, was nestled in between Kenpachi's legs, his hands tightly grasping the torn fabric.


"Eh, what the hell, Kurotsuchi?"

"Fuck you."

"I would prefer it the other way around."


"Is that a yes, Mayu-chan?"

"No! O…oi, what are you doing?! Let go-mmmph!"