Disclaimer: I'd be able to nail Jell-O to a tree faster than I'd manage to attain rights to Naruto.

A/N: My first (and maybe only) Naruto fanfic. A short oneshot.

Jiraiya's Umbrella

It was a rainy day in Konoha, which meant that no beautiful girls were visiting any beaches. And that meant that the pervy sage, Jiraiya, was bored senseless. He sat on a bench under an overhang, twirling a red umbrella nonchalantly in his hands.

Tsunade sat beside him, sipping her cup of 'tea.' (Jiraiya was pretty sure it was alcohol.) It was a peaceful day, and she was enjoying the fresh, moist air. It wasn't often she could just sit around like this since she was normally overwhelmed with her hectic duties as Hokage.

Jiraiya, however, didn't appreciate the tranquility so much. His mind was wandering senselessly, and he was fidgeting with impatience. He couldn't just sit here; he wanted something to do.

And when idiots get bored, they tend to do stupid things.

"Hey, look." Jiraiya broke the silence, trying to ease the monotony. He pointed the umbrella vertically from his crotch, indicating a phallus. "I've got an erection!"

After making a statement like that, he should have expected Tsunade to get angry. But apparently, the tediousness haunting him had deprived him of his common sense.

She glared and pushed in the bottom spring, spurring the umbrella to life as it leapt open. She remarked, "Hey, look. It's a pervert and a tampon." She proceeded to seize the umbrella handle from him and whack his forehead with it.

Needless to say, Jiraiya kept his mouth shut after that.

A/N: What Tsunade says was actually something my buddy Chocolateoholic13 said at a party one time. All credit for the idea goes to her!

Reviews are nice. =]