My brain is going to explode. Literally, I think that it is to spout brains everywhere. I'm pretty positive. I have entirely too much shit in it. For example, if I were to just free write every single thought I was having it would go on something like this: why the hell does Nina have to be all over Potter like that? Why do I care? I cant wait for Melanie's sleep over tomorrow. Oh my freaking ass god O.W.L.'s are this year! Are Ella and Sirius are going out? Poor Charlotte.


I'm loosing my marbles.

My tool short is one short.

I'm one card short of a deck.

I'm one acorn of joining a pack of squirrels.

And I'm pathetic because I can't even find the courage in me to sneak down to the kitchen's and eat something. And Im in GRYFFINDOR! Where, supposedly, the brave dwell.

I wish school would just be over and then I check my O.W.L.'s off of my increasing long list of 'To Do.'s. I want to turn that list into a 'to done' list. I heard someone say that a long time ago and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

Not really. But it was cool.

So, the problem with living in Hogwarts is that late at night, there are no snacks to be eaten. No tv to distract you. Not even a damn radio. I mean it makes sense, the magic would seriously screw with technology. But this time allows me to think. And thinking is not safe when its concern with me. Because if its not academic, I'm thinking: What the fuck is the matter with me?

Is there something wrong with me?

Why wont Amos ask me out already?

There must be something wrong with me. There is no other explanation.

I really wish the "All shook up" would stop playing in my head. Elvis is hot and everything but I can only get shook up so many times, know what I mean?

So, today this guy Donne Franks from Slytherin and Jacob Jeffereson from had a fight about me in the great hall. I thought it was so great, Charlotte came up to me and was all 'two guys are fighting over you!"

So of course, I get up and run over there to spy and hear what they say. Turns out they were exactly fighting over me. They were fighting over who had the highest grade average for the fifth years.

Isn't that just fucking great.

What a let down. I mean its not like they're extremely hot or anything. But still.


Fuck Potter. Such an ass hole. Makes me count down the days till I don't have see him.

Him and his fucking gorgeous hair. And body. And hands. And eyes.

Ass hole.

God his lips look soft.

Fuck this.

I really swear a lot when I write in here.

What would my mother think?

I really need to write her one of these days…

No, but seriously, I don't understand why I almost said yes to potter today. It was so dumb. He came up to me and said all this stuff about how he thought I looked beautiful today (which he basically says to me everyday, or 'hot' or 'smoking' or pretty' or some other variation). But today he said I looked beautiful and asked if he could walk me to breakfast (again same deal every day) I responded with my usual 'whatever' and he was SILENT. He didn't say one word the whole way down to breakfast, which is completely NOT NATURAL, at all. Then right before we walked into the great hall, he touched my arm to pull me back and I was about to yell at him, but he just looked at me so sadly. And all he said was please.

Those huge hazel eyes were staring down at me, and he just says 'please.'

"Please what?" I asked, in a whisper. Why were we whispering? I don't know.

Love how I answered myself there.

Anyway, he says 'say yes'.

And I was one letter short of a yes when my brain kicked in and said 'ye-no.' Very articulate. Then I scurried away, blushing like an idiot.

How much do I suck?

My hand hurts.

Stupid pen.

It sucks more than my life.

Which is, apparently, saying something.

Merlin, Im really hungry.

See, look how much I suck.

If Potter were here he'd make some sexual remark.

Ass hole.

Whatever. He'll be back to his normal annoying, prev self tomorrow.

I hope.

I feel better now. Maybe I'll start writing more in this.

Hopefully next time with a better pen.

He's such an ass hole!