I don't not own anyone except Mathew, Kymm, Carrisa, and The narrator.


The children looked at him.

"He did it!" Carrisa announced, pointing an accusatory finger at Mathew.

"What?"

Harry walks over to him and swipes the wand away. "I can't believe someone's actually giving Umbridge a reason to through Hermione into Azkaban!"

"What are you talking about?"

Kymm walks in with a bucket of water and dumps it over Mathew head. In addition to Mathew, Dally and Johnny become sopping wet as well. Mathew turns to face her.

"Either you thought I'd still be on fire, or wanted me to walk around in my boxers. Either way-"

"WHAT THE F-" Dally is cut off when the narrator (me) walks in.

"You can't cuss, Dally," she tells him.

"And why can't I? I can cuss anytime I want!" he replies.

"No, you can't. This is monitored by parents who do not approve of cursing."

"Well you can't stop me!"

"Yes I can. I'm the narrator. I can stick you in a frilly pink dress for all I care."

"I'd like to see you try."

The narrator shrugs and walks away. Dallas looks watches her leave.

"Now, WHAT THE F-" Dally's once again cut off. Soda and Two Bit grab him by the ankles and drag him to he floor. Two-Bit holds him down while Sodapop reaches under the coffee table and pulls out a frilly pink dress. They force him into it, and prop him up in a standing position. The narrator comes back.

"I told you so."

"Why you!" Dally runs after her with his switchblade out. They run out the front door and narrowly pass Ron.

"-some girl's gonna grab my butt," Mathew finishes.

"Harry, what happened?" he asks.

"That kid over there stole me wand." He angrily glares at Mathew.

"I didn't," Mathew replied.

"Then who did?" Harry demands.

"Well, you have to see that I came over to Kymm's house, and I saw a bunch of Greasers here so I got freaked out. I ran over to Carrisa's house and told her they were there. She put together a gun and barged in here and shot Dally and Johnny. Then everyone started freaking out and some Two-Bit and his friends pulled out switchblades. So Carrissa ran out and jumped you to get the wand and shoved it at me. Then I summoned some Fire Flower juice and poured it on them. Then you cam in all pissed and Kymm dumps water on me and Dally and Johnny. Then the narrator comes in and talks with Dally, then makes Soda and Two-Bit force him into a frilly pink dress. The narrator and Dallas both run out when Ron comes. Then you demand to know what happened and I end up giving you this lengthy explanation about what the heck happened."

They all stare at him.

"That's...odd," Johnny comments.

Ponyboy walks out and comes back in, sopping wet. Johnny hands him the towel he received from Kymm.

"Oh Glory, this isn't a dream after all."

"Well," Darry begins, getting off the couch, "We'd better find Dally before the cops get him."

"Yeah," Carissa agrees, "They see him with that switchblade and he's thrown into jail-," she snaps her fingers "-just like that."

"Oh God, we better hurry."

They walk outside, and continue walking when they come upon a trench that where the road down to Sahara was supposed to be. Inside the trench was a mob of extremely angry French people.

"It's a rumble!" Two-Bit shouts, "I wanna join!" He prepares to jump into the mob when Ponyboy grabs him.

"It's not a rumble, it's the French revolution!" he tells him, "You jump in there, you die."

"No I won't, I've got a switchblade."

Two-Bit jumps in.

"I thought the French Revolution took place a few hundred years ago," Ron said.

"I think someone gave the time turner a few turns too many," Harry replies.

A few seconds later, his mangled body is thrown onto the sidewalk.

"TWO-BIT!" cry the Greasers.

Carrissa gives him a light kick in the shoulder. "Yep, he's dead."

"Of course he's dead," Steve says, "He's missing an arm."

At that moment someone flings his arm across his body.

Carrisa sighs. "Kymm, could you-oh, okay."

Kymm had finished rearranging Two-Bit's limbs and sprinkling Fire Flower juice on him. He sits up.

"See, I told I'd be fine."

Steve then grabs Ponyboy and throws him into the mob of angry French people.

"PONYBOY!" Soda, Darry, and Johnny cry, their arms outstretched. Ponyboy's mangled body is thrown at their feet, thankfully with all his limbs intact.

"WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU THROW PONY IN THERE!?" Darrel hollers at Steve. He proceeds in picking up Steve and tossing him into the mob.

"STEVE!" Soda cries.

Steve is thrown onto the sidewalk as well. Kymm has just finished reviving Ponyboy, and now waits for someone to throw Steve's head up before reviving him. After being revived, Steve throws Darry into the trench.

"DARREL!" Ponyboy and Soda cry.

This goes on for some time. About ten revivals later, with "Steve!" and "Darry!" being screamed periodically, Carrisa pushes Darry and Steve away from each other.

"Enough!" she shouts, "Just because you guys are made at each other doesn't mean you can hurl each other into the angry mob of Frenchmen."

Madame Defarge steps in and states, "And women."

"And women," Carissa says.

Little Lucie appears from behind her. "And children."

"And children," Carrisa says reluctantly, "Besides, we're running low on-"

"It's out," Kymm says.

"We're out of juice as it is."

"So what?" Two-Bit asks, "Can't they just use their wands to get more?"

"Yes, but then they'd catch on fire, and I don't think we'd want a couple of dead bodies on our hands."

Young Gaspard's body is hurled to their feet, along with Monsieur De Marquee.

"So how do we cross the mob?" Harry asks.

"Just wait until nightfall, they all leave after that."

They turn around to see Sydney Carton looking at them.