A.N: This is just something that popped into my head last night while I was listening to "On The Line" by Demi & JB. (It's not based on the song, just thought of it when I heard "Letters left unread"... haha) It's going to be a two-shot, so don't kill me just yet... decide at the end if you hate me or not :) Anyways, it's quite angstly and drabbly, hopefully you guys will like it. Enjoy & review!
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own CR or On The Line. Sadly, I never will, either.
If there was one thing Mitchie would never understand (and that she extremely hated), it was letters. Oh, she understood the notes alright - if some loved ones maybe didn't have email or you just wanted to be old-fashioned sometimes, well then, that would do the trick. Or if you just sometimes needed to get your feelings out, venting onto a piece of paper addressed to the person you were mad/upset/whatever at and tearing it to shreds later helped. So, Mitchie does understand letters, most of the time. But she still can't help but hate them.
Letters could tear loved ones apart, tear them from each other and leave them both broken and shattered. That was one way in which people often use letters that Mitchie will never know why they do it. In fact, it's so widely used that it's considered highly cliché : Leaving a letter, sending a letter, or using a letter in anyway to break up with someone, instead of just talking to them reasonably. In Mitchie's opinion, it just shows that you're afraid, that you're weak, that you're a wimp. It also showed that you really didn't have all that much respect for the person, or care enough to tell them in person. No matter what, it just wasn't right.
Mitchie Torres would never, ever allow herself to become any three of those words or not show respect to someone that she cared about, so hence, she believed in actually having the guts to tell the person face-to-face. At least that's what she's always done.
But then, there was Shane. Somehow, Mitchie just couldn't bring herself to actually see him, or even call him up. So, she did the one thing she hated most; she took the cliché route and wrote a letter. And it wasn't that she was afraid, or weak, or a wimp, or that she didn't love and respect him, because she did. Why she wrote him that letter then, even she's not quite sure. There was just something lying under the surface that took control of her and scribbled down every hurtful, heartbreaking word. And later on, she realized what that reason was. It was because she'd known all along that if she spoke to him, or even took one look at his pretty face, she'd breakdown, and she wouldn't be able to do it. So instead, she allowed herself to be called a wimp, to be called weak, and to be afraid. She pretended that she didn't care enough, even though she did. And she did it all because that's what was best for him.
Truth be told, I don't really know why I'm writing this letter and planning on actually sending it, instead of tearing it up like I should. I just think you need to know - you have that right. When I said that I didn't love you... I lied. I do, I really, truly do, and it kills me to say any of this, but I know that it's in your best interest. Imagine what dating me would do to your career - you're doing way, way too well for me to just butt in and change all that. I'll only bring you down, Shane. And I love you way too much to let that happen. That's why I'm leaving.
I'm sorry that I told Nate and Jason instead of you (P.S. Don't be mad at them, I blackmailed them just to make sure they kept it a secret), I'm sorry for not having the guts to face you and tell you in person, I'm sorry that I'm weak. But please, if you do love me, don't try to follow me.
Ha, it's funny how sickeningly cliché I'm being right now - and if there's one thing I hate more than roaches, it's cliché endings. Too bad we couldn't have a happy cliché ending instead, isn't it? But recently, I've come to the fact that they don't exsit. There is no happily ever after. Never was, there never will be. They only exist in fairytales (another wicked lie). This isn't our fairytale.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry to leave it like this. Move on, find someone else, you'll be fine without me. You don't need me anyway. Please, once again, if you love me, move on.
I'll love you no matter what, and I'll never forget you,