Confession of depression.

Demyx sat, silently, his head in his hands, on his bed. He had given up on sleep, it only brought more nightmares anyway... Always forced to watch his friends walk away from him, hatred, disappointment radiating off them. It hurt most, though, when they were about Zexion. The blue-haired guy that Demyx grew up with, showed up more and more often, making them all the more painful. Demyx had been forced to watch him die countless times already, always seeing those words he couldn't bear hearing pass the blue, frozen lips of his boyhood friend.

'Demyx... why didn't you help me?' The voice sounded dead, far away, as if from a long forgotten memory.
'I couldn't!' Demyx gasped, his fingers not responding, as wasn't the rest of his body. 'Zexion... Please... I tried...'
'I died because of you.' Zexion's eyelashes were covered with frost, his eyes were glazed with disappointment and hate, burning through Demyx. His lips had turned blue, and his body had attained the pale cast that could only mean one thing. 'I won't forgive you... not for that. You haven't tried, Demyx. You're not worth a single thing.' He nearly spat out the words, and a slow trickle of blood made its way down his frozen chin. Demyx hung weakly in the chains that restrained him from helping, even if Zexion was beyond help. 'I hate you.'
Silent tears trickled down Demyx's face, white-hot, stinging, and the chains pulled loose. He knew he was too late, he knew he couldn't do anything anymore. He gathered Zexion's frozen body, pulled it close to him, ignoring the cold. He bowed his head in grief, suppressing his sobs, and his tears fell on Zexion's frozen lips, his eyes, his cheeks...
He never knew how long he had sat there, but when he looked at the remains of Zexion, all that remained was dust, and a hateful grinning skull.

Demyx relived the nightmare, every painful detail etching itself in his memory, he didn't want to see, why him, why did he have those nightmares? Tears seeped through his hands, splashed onto the hardwood floor with a steady drip, drip, drip... He opened his eyes, gave his guardian dragon standing on the bedstand a look and took a deep, shuddering breath. He was scared to go to sleep. It didn't matter if the lights were on or not. He looked around, saw Kit lying around (which he had gotten, surprisedly, from Zexion) and grabbed him, holding it close.

Softly, yet sure of what he was to do, Zexion made his way through the woods. This time he wouldn't be alone, this time he wouldn't wake up screaming and alone. This time Zexion would be there and would help him out as well as he could. As he walked on, and left the woods behind him, the house he was heading out for came into his view. All the lights were off, and he hadn't expected otherwise.
He made his way through the gate, looking at the stables for a moment, hearing the horses sighing contently and ready for a little more sleep. He walked up to the front door and opened it, staring back at the dogs with a look that said 'if you make any little sound, I'll do something to you.' and they kept quiet. He made his way to the stairs, as he had done before and for a moment he wondered how much times more he would climb those stairs on his way to Demyx. A small smile appeared, a lot of times, he was pretty sure.
When he reached the end of the stairs he hoped and prayed to a non-excisting god that the damned glass thingy in the hallway wouldn't make a sound. He walked past it, and to his surprise, the thing stayed silent for this one time. For this one time, the thing decided to be good and shut the hell up. He made his way to Demyx's door.
'Demy?' he asked, his voice not much more than a whisper, hardly audible for himself. 'Demy? It's me... can I come in?' Zexion heard some movements and shortly after he was facing a distressed Demyx.
'Oh, Demy...' he whispered, quickly pulling the boy in a tight embrace, not caring that he was probably freezing for the poor boy.
'Zexion...' Demyx whispered back, his breathing irregular and Zexion felt a drop fall on his shirt, which caused that he held Demyx even closer. Softly Zexion pushed Demyx a little back, looking into his eyes and gently wiping away his tears. 'Those nightmares again, huh?' Demyx nodded. Zexion took his hand and leaded him back to the bed and sat down next to him.

'Demyx, I want you to know something.' Zexion stated, softly, but firm. 'Yes?' Demyx answered.
'Dem, no matter what, I don't give a fuck what others think or what they'll say, there's just one thing that I want you to know, and that is that I love you. I love you with all my heart, I would take a bullet for you at any time. You're the only one I'd die for and I want you to know that. You mean the world to me and I'll never let you go. You are never alone, my Demy... never. Because I'm always right here,' While saying his last sentence Zexion placed his hand over the place where Demyx' heart was, 'and here.' He moved his hand up to Demyx' head.
Demyx gave him a small, watery smile, but it was a smile none the less and that was what Zexion wanted his Demyx to do a little more often, give him a smile. 'Thanks, Zex... thanks so much.' Zexion gave him a whole hearted smile and ruffled the boy's hair. 'It's the truth, the simple truth and nothing but the truth Dem. Really. And no thanks for letting me tell you the truth.'

He started when he heard a whisper, he was barely sure that it was actually real.
'Demy?' It was scarcely audible. 'Demy, it's me... can I come in?' Demyx recognized the voice of his best friend, and choked back the rest of his tears. Please... don't let this be my imagination, he begged silently, getting up, crossing his room to the door and unlocking it, seeing Zexion with a compassionate look on his face. 'Oh, Demy...' He pulled Demyx into a tight embrace, making Demyx feel sheltered and safe, even though he was taller than his blue-haired friend. He was cold as hell, but that was to be expected, and the fact that Zexion actually was here beat every single little thing.
'Zexion,' he whispered back, struggling to hold back tears even though he knew it wasn't necessary. His breathing went haywire, and his heart ached, trying to keep a steady pace.
A tear dropped on Zexion's hoody, and another one. Demyx knew that it was no use trying to hide that he was crying, so he gave in, as his best friend held him closer, closer than ever.

Zexion released Demyx and looked up at his face. He looked into the sad, oceanblue eyes, and wiped away a few of the tears that made their separate ways down his cheeks. He felt his own eyes get wet as well.
Demyx shuddered at the soft touch of those tentative cold fingers, knowing that his friend full well meant what he implicated with that touch.
'Those nightmares again, huh?' Zexion asked him softly. Demyx nodded, not able to swallow the lump in his throat. He felt Zexion's small hand slide into his, leading him back to his bed and softly pushing him down. A slight weightshift told him that Zexion had sat down beside him, as well as the arm around his waist. 'Demyx, I want you to know something,' Zexion told him, softly, heartfelt.
Demyx lifted his eyes slightly so he could watch the face of his friend, who looked at him with his heart in his eyes. 'Yes?' His voice cracked slightly.
Zexion cleared his throat lightly. ''Dem, no matter what, I don't give a fuck what others think or what they'll say, there's just one thing that I want you to know, and that is that I love you. I love you with all my heart, I would take a bullet for you at any time.'
Demyx swallowed thickly.
'You're the only one I'd die for and I want you to know that. You mean theworld to me and I'll never let you go. You are never alone, my Demy... never. Because I'm always right here,' he laid a small hand on Demyx's chest, above his frantically beating heart, 'and here.' He moved his hand to the side of Demyx's head.
Demyx's heart swelled, and he gave Zexion a watery smile – a smile nonetheless. He saw Zexion's eyes light up. He knew Zexion liked it when he smiled.
'Thanks, Zex... Thanks so much...' another tear down his cheek. Zexion gave him a wholehearted smile and ruffled his hear, making Demyx squeek.
'It's the truth, the simple truth and nothing but the truth Dem. Really. And no thanks for letting me tell you the truth.'


Author's note: This is partly written by me and partly by my best friend. She wrote everything but the part where Zexion's being the main character and which is written like this, that was written by me.

I do not own the characters.