A/N New fic! (B12 fans, look at my profile for the status of the sequel).
This is set after Aliyah. No idea where the idea for it came from. Not completely in sync with the storyline from the show, but it's based on it.
There's another A/N at the end of this – I don't want it to look like the whole chapter is me talking. :)
DISCLAIMER: I own a very stressed brain, a locket and a rather decrepit-looking Psychology textbook, but not NCIS.
Chapter 1: I Don't Know
Five months. It had been five months since the team had been reduced to three. Gibbs, with all his worldly powers of hostility and interrogation, had scared all the replacements away, and Vance had finally stopped assigning them to them.
Never before had they felt so betrayed.
Gibbs had informed the remaining agents of Ziva's 'orders' to kill Ari.
As far as Tony was concerned, they had no reason to trust Ziva. She'd won Gibbs' trust with a single action, and action that turned out to be falsely interpreted and presented to them as something else.
Tony was confused on top of everything else. She'd been there with them for years, and yet she was willing to leave them because of trust issues. He couldn't work out where her loyalties lay – them, NCIS, or them, Mossad?
" Israeli sense of duty," he remembered her saying as the reason she'd joined Mossad. Was that the reason she'd stayed?
Everything was so corrupt and bewildering.
"DiNozzo, you finish those case files?" Gibbs said.
"Right here Boss," Tony replied, scrunching up his eyes which had begun watering from the lack of light. They were working late yet again, having eaten dinner at their desks and not even considering going home.
Tony often thought about how his relationship with his boss had changed. They'd gone from being Boss and Agent to…he couldn't quite put his finger on it. They were just different. Their attitudes towards each other had shifted. Tony knew Gibbs had chosen him, taken his side. But now, with Ziva gone, even McGee was closer to them.
They were a team. They were a family. They depended on each other.
Tony negotiated his way over to Gibbs' desk, carefully stepping over where Abby was sleeping on the floor, right in the middle of the room. Trust, to her, was the most important thing. Since Ziva's 'betrayal', Abby had barely let the others out of her sight, just making sure they were okay and that there was no possibility that they would leave her too.
"Going home soon?" Gibbs asked as he took the folder.
"No point. Work to do here, not going to sleep," Tony replied, his slightly slurred speech clearly representing just how tired he was.
"Tony," Gibbs said, standing up. "Go home. McGee'll finish up here."
For a second Tony considered how unfair this was on the Probie, but then remembered that McGee had become even more nocturnal than the rest of them – during the day, he was nearly always passed out at his desk, but at night, he was alive. "See you in the morning, Boss."
Gibbs nodded and sat back down, returning to his pitiful looking box of Chinese food.
Tony pushed the apartment door open, not bothering to take his shoes off outside.
Ziva's old apartment had a strange affect on him. It was strange to be there, for one thing – her things where still inside. She hadn't moved a lot of her furniture to her new, now blown up, apartment, claiming that it was too much work to move everything while she could just buy everything new and delivered. Tony had sniggered at this remark, and had accepted it as a valid excuse for a girly shopping spree.
Now he wondered if it was because she had planned to live with Michael from then on, and had just wanted everything to start afresh. Or something to that affect.
He found it often cleared his head, coming here. He didn't quite understand it, but with all the thoughts constantly running through his head, he'd do anything to have a moment of peace.
As far as he knew, the apartment had been paid for for the next two months. After that, he didn't know where he'd go. Maybe, he thought, I should get a basement and bourbon.
He sat himself down on the couch, prepared to just spend the night there before returning to work 'refreshed'. He was just about to put his feet up when he heard the slightest rustle.
Tony froze. The apartment had been unoccupied for months: who would be there now?
He moved towards the closet where the noise had come from, moving his hand so it rested on his gun.
It happened in a flash – the door opened, and from the darkness within a hand emerged, covered in blood, and held a gun to his forehead.
He couldn't draw his own firearm. "NCIS," he said. "Lower your weapon."
The gun wasn't lowered, but its holder stepped out of the darkness. Tony gasped involuntarily.
"Don't move," Ziva said, not moving her fingers from the trigger.
The chapter titles – the chapters are named after songs that have a lyric/lyrics that were the inspiration for that chapter. I'll post the title, artist and lyric at the end of the chapter for reference (but just the one lyric might be relevant, not necessarily the whole song).
SONG: Slight issue with this song…I don't know the artist. It was listed as Joanne Accom, but I know that's wrong. If anyone could actually tell me artist, it would be very appreciated. It's been driving me nuts.
Anyway…it's called 'I Don't Know'.
I don't know who you are, you're not who you used to be, I remember you used to look at me differently, now you don't talk to me.
I should point out that my mind hasn't worked properly in a few months. If something doesn't make sense or anything, please let me know. :)