A/N: of course I own Harry Potter! How dare you say I don't? No no please don't sue me. I lied ! I don't own anything!

This story is inspired by "Ways to Annoy Dumbledore" from some other author here on fanfiction. I just don't remember the name, though!

How Minerva found out that Albus loves her?

"Ha Ha Ha" Aberforth beamed down viciously.

"Most Excellent, Snape, M'boy!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah we have finally done it, Abe!" said Snape.

"What shall we name this ingenious invention of ours?"

"Dumbledore annoyance drought!" said Snape happily. Aberforth hit him on the head.


"I'm a Dumbledore, you fool!"

"OK then, you name it!"

"Dumbledore Annoying Potion." He said. Snape rolled his eyes.

"Whom should we give it to?" Abe asked.

"I say we give it to Minerva. It will make him annoyed as well as embarrassed." Suggested Snape.

"No, no, how dare you suggest that about dear Minerva? I know! We should give it to his deputy, the one he rambles on about for hours!"

"You old fool, Minerva is his deputy."

"Oh well you know what I think?"

"No but let me tell you what I think. I think you should leave the thinking to me!" Snape said angrily.

"Well then, but I still think…"

"Don't trouble yourself. I know whom to give this to."


"The Potter Boy." Snape grinned.

"Who is the Potty Boy?"

"Potter, you dragon fart, Harry Potter!"

"Ooooh, they are coming here today."


*********Later That Day********

Harry enters hand in hand with Dumbledore.

"Crap. The Horcrux is a fake? Who the F*** is R.A.B?"

"Watch your mouth, Harry."

"Sorry professor, so who is it?"

"How the hell should I know? Gee everyone expects me to know everything just because I'm so old and wise and Merlin first class and best headmaster and Wizengamot something and all that crap I achieved!"

"Erm, right, sorry."

"Hey Al," Abe called

"Hello Aberforth."

"Who are you dude?"

"um I'm Harry Potter."

"Oh yeah the Potty boy!"

"Potter actually."

"Whatever. Well do you like our latest drink? I'll give you one for free!"

"Hey that's unfair! You never gave me your new drinks or free!" Albus said.

"Shut up, Al. That's only for Potty."


"Snape, bring on the drinks!" he yelled.

"Snape? He works here? " Harry smirked.

"Zip it up, Potter. You'll have detention with me at 8 tomorrow!"

"Actually, Harry and I are having a meeting then." Albus said.

"Yeah, should have seen that one coming!" Snape mumbled.

Snape and Aberforth pretended to leave but went and hid behind the next table.

"So, professor, about the Horcorux, I had an important question to ask." He said taking a sip of his drink.

"Ask away."

"Are you really gay?"

Albus chocked on his Firewhisky. "What?"

"Well, I was wondering if what everyone say is true. Are you and Baldiehead lovers?"

"Who is Baldiehead?"

"It's Voldemort's second name. Lord Voldy Baldiehead."

"Oh I didn't know that."

"so you're gay?"

"What? No!"

Aberforth and Snape struggled not to roll on the floor. "Someone call Rita Skeeter!"

"Yes you are. YOU ARE GAY!" he yelled. Everyone turned to look.

"Erm, he's just…drunk." Dumbledore said to the onlookers

"You pervert!" Harry growled

"I think I'll talk with Severus about that detention he was planning!" Dumbledore mused.

"Can I ask something?"


It's about the Horcorux."


"Are you still a virgin?"

"Good question!" Abe shouted.

"Sssshhhhh" Snape hissed

"Shut up, Abe!" Albus said.

"Yeah, shut up Abe, let the MOB answer it."

"the what?" Albus asked

"Mob, means you, you Manipulative Old Bastard."

"That's it. You are expelled from the Hogwartz School of Withcraft and whatever."

Snape lost control and rolled out from under the table from laughter.

"Hey wanna try this?" Harry gave him uncle Vernon's shaver.

"What's that?"

"Muggles call it a massager. Put it on your face and press the red button.

^^Moments later^^

"Uugghh! My long cherished beard is gone! I'll kill you Harry!"

"Voldy is already doing that!"

"How dare you call him that?"

"Why, only you're supposed to call him that?"

"Yes, I mean no!"

"What are those?"

"My lemon drops."

"Burn!" he said to the lemon drops.

"Why did you do that?"

"I dunno. Can I ask something else?"

"I'm afraid to answer."

"Are you the imprint of a departed soul, an inferi or a walking zombie?"


"Because you're so old, you can't possibly be living."

"I think you'll need an inspection by Madame Pomfry, you're acting strange."

while going there...

"Wanna hear something professor"


"Your own voice while you hummed and walked aimlessly around the school?"

"Where did you get that from?" very very annoyed Dumbledore asked.

"Filch recorded it!"

*******Later That Night*******

"O My God! Albus have you seen the latest article by Rita Skeeter?" Minerva asked

"Shit! I had to hide that damn newspaper."

"Beg your pardon?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"I can't believe Potter said all that to you. Have you given him detention"

"No. Snape will do that. But I think Tom wanted to be silly and put him under the imperius curse."

"Whose Tom?"

"No one! Who said Tom?"

"You just…never mind! So are you?"


"Still a virgin?"


"Or perhaps gay?"


"I saw him kiss Grindleward!" Aberforth voice said coming from nowhere.

"I swear I didn't! Don't believe him!" Albus said frantically.

"Why should it matter if I believe him or not?"


"Because he loves you" Aberforth said again from nowhere.


"Albus blushed like a tomato.

From somewhere under the rug a bug said "Ooooh hot gossip!"