Not So Perfect

AN: I'm back to writing =] I just want to say thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my latest story [He Didn't (Dramione)] and I will be putting up another chapter soon thanks to all the encouraging reviews! This is my first Sylar/Gabriel [Gablar] focused story. Song: Perfect by Simple Plan. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes, Gablar [although I wish I did] or the song Perfect.

I whimpered slightly when his hand clutched at thin air. I felt invisible hands strangle my throat again. I could've made him stop. I could've flung him across the room. I could've killed him if I wanted to…but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything except let him try to kill me. He knew he couldn't kill me, but he also knew that it still hurt me. I held in the tears that were threatening to burst out of my eyes any second. I knew it was almost over; he would let me go soon.

He clutched at the air one last time before lowering his hand and letting me drop down to the floor, one of my hands still holding onto my now red neck.

"There, that should teach you to not let me have that shiny little healing ability of yours." He spat.

"It's technically not mine, its Claire's, the cheerleader from Texas. If you want it, go get it." I knew I was just asking for more throat-strangling by talking back to him so 'rudely', but I couldn't help it, it's in my nature.

His face twisted into one of fury, of rage. I didn't think someone so old, and with cancer could look so menacing. Right then and there, I understood the fear in my victim's eyes right before I sliced off their heads. Right then and there, I felt like a victim of myself.

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

He flung me against the far wall. I heard my spine snap and then stitch itself back together seconds later. I sighed. Would this never end? Would he never get over the fact that I, Sylar, will always be more powerful than him?

It's not my fault that he gave up on life. He stopped searching for than one ability that would finally make him rise above all else. I never stopped, I found that ability, and now he wanted to take it from me.

Yeah right.

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

"I'm sorry, dad." I gritted my teeth together, I hated calling him that. He was not my father, the blood that flows through my veins are not his. He gave me up, hell, he sold me to his brother, and he killed my mother. He is not my father.

But I couldn't tell him that. I really did try hard to get him to stop hating me, I may hate him, but I didn't want him to share the same feelings. He doesn't know me; he doesn't know what I've been through. He was never there for me; he has no reason to hate me.

"You're never going to change; you're never going to give in, are you?"

I sighed. How was I supposed to answer that?

"If I could, I would. For you." To my surprise, I actually sort of meant it.

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

With that, I walked away. I went to my door, opened it and collapsed on the floor. Tears were streaming down my face now.

I felt like my heart, what was left of it at least, was being eaten away. My stomach was constantly churning around in the most uncomfortable way possible. I tried to distract myself; I tried to pick myself off the floor, and failed miserably. I sagged against the door, my back gaining scrapes and scratches from the hard, ragged wood.

I remembered the first time I came here. What a disappointment it was to see my father. I expected someone cold, evil, vindictive even, someone I could look up to. I expected to finally meet my hero. Before I remembered that he killed my mother, I honestly did think of my real father to be my hero. I always let myself think that the reason he gave me up was…well…not that he just didn't want me.

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

As I watched, two figures blinked in front of me out of thin air. One was a chubby, grumpy little Japanese man, the other was a more composed, elegant and beautiful girl.

She turned to him and thanked him, giving him a brief hug.

Hiro Nakamura nodded distantly and teleported away. The pretty blonde who he appeared with looked at me. She walked towards me and sat down next to me.

"What are you doing here, Sylar? Why are you letting him do this to you? Will you look at yourself please? You're pathetic."

"Jee, thanks, Elle." I looked away because I knew she was right. She always was.

"Listen to me very carefully; I'm not going to let you do this anymore. You're leaving, right now. And if you don't, I'm going to go out there and zap him. Really hard." She lifted her hands up and let electricity dart from one palm to another.

"You wouldn't." My eyes widened.

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

"Oh I would. And you know as well as I that he does not have all your abilities, he can't heal. Meaning that one shot from me and he's dead. He's as dead as he wants you to be."

That hurt. That hurt badly. How is it that Elle, that tiny, frail, little figure, could say words that could keep you crying at night?

He's as dead as he wants you to be…he's as dead…wants you to be…

"Don't Elle. Don't kill him."

"Why? You know you're never going to be good enough for him. You're never going to be his perfect little angel boy. The only way you'll make it that far is if you give him your healing power, and somewhere, deep inside you; you never want him to be nearly as powerful as you.

"You know what? I'm giving him my ability."

This time it was her turn for her eyes to pop out of their sockets.

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

"Sylar, don't go there. Don't do it."

I stood up with as much dignity as I could muster.

I felt Elle grab onto my arm, she sent a jolt of energy through my body. I was too used to her shots to scream or groan in pain.

I shoved her hand off and turned the knob on the door. I left her sitting on the floor of my room, her eyes disbelieving and her hands folded across her chest.

I scanned the room until I saw my father sitting comfortably on his favourite armchair, stuffing his newly caught rabbit. I strolled up to him casually.

"What do you want, boy?" He asked gruffly without looking up from his new catch.

"I'm ready." I said confidently.

"For what?" Though I'm sure he already knew.

"To give you my power. To make you invincible."

"Yeah right, you're too much of a coward. You're weak, scared, and obnoxious. There's no way you're going to let me overpower you when technically you have the upper-hand right now. Just leave me alone and stop bothering me with this rubbish. Unless of course, you're ready already for more…" He held up his hand and squeezed the air.

I stood in place, frozen. "But I-I-I really am. I mean I can f-for you-I-I will."

He didn't believe me.

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

I stuttered uselessly. Finally I gave up. He hated me, he will always hate me. No matter what I did, I could kill myself…but I didn't know how.

I turned and headed back towards my room.

"Oh, and by the way," I whirled around at the sound of his voice. "Can you tell that girl, um, Elle I think, if she could just shove off? I don't like it when she's here. You know what else I don't like? I don't like you sneaking her in here to be your little…what's the word? Oh yes, conscience. Her telling you to leave, her talking about killing me, it's all very upsetting. If she's not gone in the next…let's say two minutes, I'm going to kick her out myself. And trust me, I won't make it pleasant." He threatened darkly.

"Oh she'll be gone, don't worry." I promised. "And I'm going with her."

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

"Wait, whoa! Hold up a minute, son!" I could hear him call behind me, but I was already at my door.

I turned around to him and shook my head, I almost felt guilty, leaving such a fragile, old, dying man to fend for himself, but I knew he'd do just fine.

"Goodbye, father." I smirked; I'd never have to say that again.

I walked into my room for the last time.

"Okay, Elle. Let's get the hell out of here."

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

But she wasn't there.

AN: So, what do you think? I know it's not my best piece of work. I've been thinking of writing another song fic [also based on Perfect by Simple Plan] but this time, it'll either revolve around Peter/Arthur or Nathan/Arthur. Which would you rather read about? Review are much appreciated!