"It can't rain all the time."
- Brandon Lee, The Crow
Day and night have become intwined with eachother. I have lost track of the days. For all I know it could have been days, weeks, or even months since I had my first encounter with the Joker. He has evolved into another one of my little obsessions. I'm just a moth to his flame. I'm addicted to his presence because I have been alone for far too long. However, I put my occupation behind me because I'm already in the inner circle of Gotham's most notorious villian and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. Mister J has arranged a meeting tonight in his "conference room". That was in Joker's wing of the building and I have never been invited there before. They use it as a place to scheme and plan out ways to destroy and demoralize Gotham, make explosives (a personal hobby of Mistah J's), and to propose endless attempts at eliminating the Batman which haven't suceeded...yet. I spritzed a bit of perfume on my neck and hair. I wanted to show Joker that I'm not some naive punk from off the street. I am twenty-four years of age but he still calls me 'kiddo'. Hell, I had killed a person, a living being, and he still thought of me as a child.
"I said to meet in the conference room, not the fucking palace, kid." He said, nodding towards my tabletop filled with eyeshadows, lipsticks, and mascaras.
I cast my gaze away from my vanity mirror and looked into his distant bloodshot eyes.
Mr. J cast me a questionable glance, turned away from me, then galliantly strode down the hallway; me following him in my noisy black pumps. He walked with absolute confidence: narcissistic even. I envied his arrogance. I always wanted a bigger amount of self esteem than the quantity I was given. He took me by the wrist and lead me into his corridor. It wasn't what I expected. I was hoping for a elegantly furnished residence but instead I got a modern dungeon: typical male behavior. I quietly chuckled at the thought while Joker escorted me to his room. We passed dozens of small concrete rooms inhabited by Joker's minions; some overlooking blueprints of high security buildings in Gotham, some having lewd conversations about the many posters of barely dressed women that hung from the walls of their cramped cubicles, but most were just getting stoned out of their minds from the everlasting supply of weed. I quickly took shelter inside Mr. J's conference room and sat down at the large table, legs neatly crossed. Joker stood in the doorway, eyeing me from head to toe. He obviously noticed my snug black dress that hit just above my knees, curled platinum blonde hair, and flawless makeup. He licked his upper lip then bit down on his lower lip.
"Is that a knife in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I figured I could make the jokes once in a while.
"We'll find out." He said while sitting a huge distance away from me on the opposite end of the table.
An awkward silence ensued.
"Is there something you'd like to tell me, boss?" I asked innocently, gently batting my long lashes.
"Shush.." he silenced me "Just let me look at you."
I stared into my lap, humbled but a bit frightened at the comment. I couldn't take it any longer. I can't keep all these questions internal for so long.
"Why did you choose m-me?" I asked, choking on my question.
His eyes bulged out of his sockets and his knuckles gripped the table.
"You weren't chosen. Don't flatter yourself." He snickered at my stupid remark.
"But if you were following me and watching me..." My head was drowning in questions "You said you wanted me to work for you. Since I have been here, I can't do anything unless I end up killing someone in the process! I can't even go outside for a smoke! Now my room smells like a fucking meth lab!" I flung out of my chair and banged my fists.
"I can't do anything by myself! I can't have interaction with anyone except for you and your dumbass soldiers! I-I'm stuck in my room all the time with myself and frankly, I'm not a very entertaining person! I have only been out one goddamn time! And I'll tell you what, I haven't seen sunlight for th-"
"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?"
He launched himself out of his chair, raced across the wooden table, and pinned me to the ground, both of his legs around me so I couldn't escape.
He slapped me across the face, leaving an imprint of his hand on my white cheek. The Joker pulled a dagger out of his pocket and began ripping the straps of my dress. His murderous laughter echoed throughout the room. He seized my collarbone and pulled me close, both our chests heaving against eachother from the tension. He began to grip my throat, squeezing tighter and tighter until...he let go.
Joker looked at me with a grief-stricken pain inside his hypnotizing eyes. He laid his head against my throbbing bosom, mumbling to himself in a schitzophrenic-like state. I began to choke and gasp for air. The tears burned my eyes as they cascaded down my face.
"Why didn't you just kill me?" I asked. "It would make things easier for the both of us!" I noisily sobbed as I rubbed the burgundy lipstick off my mouth.
"Go ahead and fucking kill me! Make my day!"
I rested there on the floor, still held down by my boss, and tried to catch my breath. He stared at the floor, still pressed against my torso, with a glazed over look in his eyes. He slowly rose above me and leered at my face. He gradually descended closer to my lips and gently embraced me with a small kiss on the mouth.
My heart rate was running miles. He rolled over on the floor next to me, allowing me to escape. But you know what the biggest mistake was? I didn't leave his side. We had our first serious conversation where he told me the truth (at least I believe it to be the truth).
"I remember my father's funeral. I only went to make sure he was dead. When I went to see him in his coffin, I remember taking the candle near the casket and lighting my father's lifeless corpse on fire!" He cackled uncontrollably. I saw tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
"That's how the whole 'life of crime' thing started..." Joker trailed off.
I lit up a cigarette, took a drag then exhaled. This process continued until I was almost finished. Mr. J pulled one of his many knives out of his violet jacket pocket.
He turned to me with his devilish grin and said, "Ya know, those things'll kill ya."
"Yeah, if you don't get there first." I replied.
I pressed the lit cigarette against the inside part of my forearm, leaving another scar in the making. Joker stared as I lifted up the cig butt off of my arm and lay back down against the wall, breathing violently. He grabbed the cigarette and stuck the end of it against his tongue, extinghuishing it.
"Did I cause you to do that?" He asked silently.
"No, it's an old habit." I told him.
I studied his features: his chisled jaw and nose, makeup coating his fair skin down to his neck, his mop of hair that was currently slicked back, but oh God who could forget those eyes. Mr. J's eyes were different than typical eyes: he had remarkable eyes that were filled with so much knowledge and had the ability to see through a person's soul. They also contained an incredible amount of pain, like a child's. Was it a crime to feel a sense of sympathy for this breathtaking creature?
Some odd wave of emotion passed over me, like I was possessed by another entity. Well, that or my immense vulnerability. I stole the my cigarette from his fingers, tossed it, and pinned him down. My legs wrapped around his waist. I stroked his green mess of hair, lowered myself to J's eye level and softly brushed my lips onto his. I pressed my tongue on his, further entwining us in my embrace. My arms wrapped around his head. I wanted to protect him from all the danger he endured everyday while stealing, shooting, and killing. I feel safe with him. He was my protector now. Joker pushed deeper into the kiss as his hands searched my body. He began to slowly run his hand along my thigh and up my black skirt.
"Oh no...please." I told him, barely breaking the kiss.
He moaned and wanted to keep going farther. I extracted my tongue from his mouth and gazed into his eyes once more.
"No not now. Please don't do this." I pleaded.
"Harley, Harley, Harley, you are such an uncorrupted child," he said while nuzzling my neck. "I think we should put a halt to that." He began to chuckle while biting my ear.
"No, I won't give into you." I hissed, with arms crossed.
"In time." he retorted while smiling his sinister grin.
"Walk me to my room?" I asked with my best doe-eyes.
Maybe that will get his mind out of trying to get in my pants. I attemped to get off of Mr. J without breaking a heel or exposing my undergarments.
"You should wax down there." He critiqued as he snuck a peek at my nether regions.
Too late, I guess. He wrapped his arm around my waist and we proceeded to the large double doors somewhere down the hall. He rested his head on mine and inhaled my light perfume. As we passed through the door, Joker's guards whistled and unruly cheered at us. Mr. J took matters into his own hands by flashing them the good old fashioned obscene hand gesture. He opened my door for me with his hand extended.
"Ladies first." he called. What a gentleman.
I rolled my eyes and strolled into my room simultaneously pulling off my shoes. I flopped onto my bed and looked up at him.
"Well my visit was cut short, don't you think?" I asked.
"I thought we were just continuing it in your room, Harl." He whispered as he sat beside me on the bed.
"I don't think..."
"C'mon Harley! I'm horny, your horny! What's that one thing a boy and girl could do to pass the time away?" Joker purred in my ear.
"I'm not going to be your fuck buddy, okay?" I lied sternly. I did love him but I didn't want a physical relationship
"Christ! You were the one who started this shit! You're being really fucking childish, Harl!", J said as he paced.
"I'm childish? You still play with guns that shoot little 'BANG!' flags!" I argued.
"You tease!" He spit out, grabbed my face, and suddenly his lips came crashing onto mine.
"Ooh!" I moaned. I wanted this so badly. I wanted to be loved. He grinded against me as I accepted his tongue in my mouth. I began to slide off his jacket. I pulled his tie towards me while Joker began to run kisses along my neckline. When he saw that I had cut DIRT into my inner forearm, he ran his tongue along each letter as a sort of comfort for my pain. He felt my back and tried to undo my zipper. I took him by the hands and slipped his gloves off to reveal rough caloused fingertips. He rubbed my exposed back, sending more shivers all throughout my body. I could smell the gasoline and gun powder on his musuclar build. He pulled down my dress, revealing my black lace bra. This was enough to stimulate him and wanting to keep pushing further. Joker trailed kisses along my chest as I unbuttoned his plum shirt while my legs wrapped around his waist. We were both breathing heavily and becoming intoxicated by eachother.
"I can't..." I whispered into his ear.
Joker took my face in his hand and stared into my blue eyes. He pushed two strands of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.
"Trust me." He cooed.
"Dammit, why can't I say no to you?" I blurted out.
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