23Four people stepped through the shimmering blue puddle of water onto the stone platform, stopping to admire the view of rolling hills, fields of tall grass waving gently in the light breeze, and trees … lots and lots of trees, all around and into the distance. The sky was a clear blue, with smatterings of puffy white clouds drifting lazily along. Birds chirped, fluttered and sang. Bees buzzed and flittered around clusters of brightly colored flowers. All in all, a lovely day.
Peering into the distance, Daniel's first comment was "Oooh goody. Ruins for me to explore."
Looking down at her feet, Carter's first comment was "Ooooh goody. Soil for me to sample."
Taking in the view all around him, Jack's first comment was "Ooooh goody. Trees and more trees." Other than that, he indulged in his favorite hobby - watching Carter.
Also taking in the view around him, Teal'c's first comment was … well, he didn't have a comment. He was usually quite silent, unless he had a comment of one or two words … which he didn't at the moment.
Staying within sight and sound of each other, the four went about exploring their surroundings.
Daniel was thrilled to discover writings on some of the walls on the nearby ruins. Though, after about an hour of intense scrutiny, he stepped back from one of the walls, and his "uh oh" brought the other three quickly to his side.
"What?" said Jack.
"What?" said Sam.
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry.
As Daniel explained it - having used all of his considerable skills as an archaeologist and linguist to translate what he had discovered - they had stumbled onto a planet devoted to shipping. He continued to drone on until all his teammates glared impatiently and each raised a single eyebrow at him.
"Right." He coughed slightly, and continued, "Well, the thing is that shippers are devoted fans of their favorite relationship. They create forums to discuss their favorite pairing, right down to the teeniest detail of their lives. They create pretty posters, wallpapers and icons with clever quotes, and even write fan fiction. However, when the venue for that pairing is cancelled, interest slowly starts to wane … or at the very least leaves the same old stuff to discuss over and over again. You know, … nothing new to observe, analyze and debate. There are even what's referred to as 'lurkers' who like to observe, but not participate. And when those shippers and lurkers move on with other areas of their lives or interest starts to fade, so … apparently … do the people they 'ship'". Looking directly at Sam and Jack, Daniel waited for them to realize he was talking about them.
Reaching out in an attempt to poke Sam's shoulder … Jack's hand passed right through her!
Aghast, Sam attempted to poke Jack's shoulder … only for her hand to pass right through him!
Together, they were appalled that Daniel was literally talking about them. They were fading away … due to diminishing interest on the part of shippers everywhere! Oh, the tragedy!
What to do, what to do?
"I'm fading, I tell you, fading …" wailed a disconsolate Jack, who kept trying to poke Sam's arm in order to touch her. But his hand kept passing through her increasingly insubstantial body.
Daniel snorted, chastising Jack with, "Knock it off, Jack. You aren't the Wicked Witch of the West and this isn't the Wizard of Oz ... and we aren't in Kansas." He paused as a somewhat evil thought flashed through his mind. "Although if there was a bucket of water around here, I might just throw it on you to see if it had the same results it did with the Witch! Now, be quiet and let me try to think of a solution."
Jack sulked and stomped over to where Sam stood next to a crumbling stone wall ... thinking. Jack's attention span being somewhat short, he found himself imagining math equations and physics symbols swirling in a bubble over Sam's head as she thought, and he pondered how he might burst that bubble just for the fun of it.
Finally, Daniel stopped pacing, looked around at the meadow full of tall grass and scattered flowers, and beyond to the groves of trees in the distance, and spoke loudly: "Look, we know you lurkers (and maybe some shippers, too) are out there somewhere. I can hear you giggling. So if you really, really love Sam and Jack, and don't want them to fade away, you'd better come out now and announce your allegiance and devotion." He scanned the surrounding grassland, hoping for a reaction, a noise … something … but there was no movement, nothing except the slight swaying of the grass.
He tried again. "Hey! I'm talking to all you shippers out there. Make some noise if you care! For crying out loud … squee, if you must. Squee in unison." One of Jack's eyebrows crept higher on hearing one of his favorite sayings.
Daniel's enthusiasm ratcheted up several notches, as he continued: "Raise your voices in a mighty chorus, as loud as you can. Let the joyous sound spread across the land and around the world, even into outer space - or at least to the moonbase. Let everyone know there is still devotion and love for the 'S/S Sam and Jack Ship'. The louder you squee, the more solid Sam and Jack will become again. The quieter you are, however," and his scowl was fierce at the notion because he truly did care about his friends and their welfare, "the more they'll fade."
"Damn," he thought, mentally congratulating himself. "I'm really good at this." He looked around, hopefully … waiting for some reaction. Nothing happened.
Time passed.
As motionless as a statute, hands clasped behind his back, Teal'c stood intently observing the meadow. Then in one swift, but graceful movement for a man his size, he pounced on a section of tall grass about ten feet away. When he reappeared above the grass, he held a wriggling, struggling, squealing lurker in his grasp.
To cries of "no, no, I don't want to go", he dragged the lurker back to where Daniel was standing guard next to the fading Sam and Jack.
The lurker cowered on the ground, and cringed when Teal'c leaned over, raised one eyebrow and scowled his fiercest scowl, declaring "You will announce your devotion … NOW … or your favorite 'ship' will cease to exist!"
He straightened and then a slight smile appeared on his lips as he leaned back over and whispered something in the lurker's ear. A look of abject horror appeared on the lurker's face. The poor thing immediately stood up straight and marched off resolutely into the grass and disappeared.
Watching this scenario … really impressed with Teal'c's abilities of persuasion … Daniel finally asked "Just what did you say?"
"I merely pointed out that should the lurker's favorite ship fade away completely, there would be NO 3rd MOVIE!"
Daniel snickered loudly!
Sam and Jack sighed sadly, in unison.
At which time, Teal'c again pounced on a stand of tall grass that appeared to be swaying more than a mere breeze would cause … and came up with a struggling, wriggling, squealing lurker in each hand. At his loud command, the two instantly ceased their struggling and whimpered, whilst trying to cower away from him, even while he held them a foot above the ground. He set them down with a thump and then leaned down to speak to them … so quietly that again Daniel could not hear what was said. But after what Teal'c had said to the previous lurker, he could imagine the threat being imparted.
As before, the two new lurkers stood up straight, looked Teal'c right in the eye, pulled themselves together and purposefully marched off in opposite directions. Teal'c merely lifted his hand to inspect his fingernails, blew on them briefly, and then looked fiercely around at the tall grass.
Like a flurry of birds startled into the air, a small group of lurkers burst from the cover of tall grass and bolted off in all directions, leaving Teal'c with a satisfied smirk on his face.
Turning back toward Daniel and the increasingly insubstantial Jack and Sam, who were still poking at each other, trying to connect with something solid and having no success, Teal'c commented that there was nothing more to do but wait.
During the next hour, SG1 waited and waited. Periodically, Jack or Sam - still glumly standing side by side near the broken rock wall (they had attempted to sit on a rocky ledge, only to pass right through it) - would poke at the other, only to have their finger or hand pass right through the other. Daniel noticed that as time passed, the two seemed to get just a little bit more insubstantial, and it began to really trouble him.
Tiring of Daniel's waiting and pacing, … and pacing and waiting, Teal'c rose to his feet, peering off into the distance.
At first Daniel wasn't sure what, if anything, Teal'c was seeing. And then … he saw it. Movement across the field of tall grass, at the edge of the tree line. What seemed to be a shimmering, moving wave of humanity flowing out from among the trees, bending the tall grass ahead of them as it moved forward … lurkers! And shippers, too!
Looking intently as the crowd surged slowly forward, Daniel recognized DevilishMe, Trinity3, Petra, Regularamanda, SG-1fanintn. And, yes, wasn't that Pol, Akamaimom, Leiasky, Alan, Rocky, MadGater, too? Familiar names on multi-colored flags that flew on sticks grasped in the hands of each person - Majorsal, hlndcr, Starlover, MandySG1, Lucycat, and … yes, there was Cags, and Jumble with her SamAndJack banner in one hand and her WooHood banner in the other.
As he noted the names on the flags, he realized he was hearing a noise … an increasingly loud noise. Beginning as a low humming as the crowd came forward … it changed in volume and tone until it sounded like … yes, yes it did, indeed. It was definitely a loud SQUEEING! And yes, he could even feel the vibration from the squeeing in the ground, through his feet, as a lovely tingling sensation that spread throughout his body! He sniffled slightly and wiped a tear from one eye, muttering "Damn allergies!"
The crowd grew and grew and the volume of the chorus rose to a crescendo of deafening proportions. A tear slid down Sam's cheek as she laid her head against Jack's shoulder. She whispered tremulously, "Oh, sir, … they love us … they really, really do love us!"
And then giggled melodiously and poked Jack … hard … right in the shoulder, as she realized THEY WERE SOLID AGAIN!
Not to be outdone, Jack threw his arms tightly around Sam, lifting her off the ground and swinging her enthusiastically around and around in a circle … until he made himself dizzy and had to stop. He carefully set her back on the ground, brushing some imaginary lint off her jacket. More gently, he put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, smiling gratefully and waving at the crowd that was gathering around.
A party filled with merriment and good cheer continued throughout the night. Small campfires lit up the large clearing and surrounding meadow, and several lurkers and shippers toasted marshmallows to share with the crowd.
As the first tinge of sunrise peeked over the horizon, and after more choral squeeing and cheering in general, people began to drift away, all the while reassuring Sam and Jack they were still devoted to them, and only awaiting full confirmation of their "ship" in order for true closure to be had so that everyone (especially Sam and Jack, of course) could live in peace, harmony and …
Happily Ever After!