7Hi, I've done a ton of other stories for different fandoms and I really had this idea attack me and decided to run with it. I hope that you guys like it. I have put up pictures and play list stuff on my page. Check them out if you want.
This is your only warning so heed it: There is adult subject matter in this story. If your not old enough stop right here! There is sex, drugs and other stuff that kiddies don't need to be reading.
I'd love to thank Stephanie Myer for her beautiful contributions to the literary world and hope that she gets around to finishing Midnight Sun one of these days! I don't own anything but the ideas in my head. Literally.
Updated AN:
I've added a play list you can access the pop-out player on my homepage if you would like.
Playlist:
Nickelback - Someday
Tonic - If you could see
Fuel - Shimmer
Chapter 1
The stars were shining brightly as I looked up towards the night sky from the vantage of my neighbor's roof. Tar, still warm from the heat of the day, was sticking to my back and shoulders causing a slightly sticky and scratchy sensation but I ignored it in favor of the company I was keeping. I couldn't help but feel enamored by the sights of the heavens above us as the meteor shower rained from the heavens. It was such a rare sight in the constant dreary weather of the Olympic Peninsula that I appreciated it even more.
A soft sigh from the boy next to me made my lips twitch as I glanced to my right side. His bronze unruly hair flopped in his face and his black-rimmed spectacles perched on his nose completing the picture of the-boy-next-door look. His eyes focused on the stars above us and he raised his hand above our heads to point to a particular constellation of stars while murmuring about its history. I could only nod and pretend to pay attention as he tried to teach me things that I would never be able to grasp because my IQ was only half of his.
Edward and I had been neighbors for as long as we could remember, and friends for most of my eighteen years. We had grown up together and even bathed together when we were kids. He was that incredibly smart friend that I always rather envied because he made academia look like child's play. He was only seventeen but he'd jumped a grade and was now in the senior class with me.
Even though we ran in different circles in high school, we still managed to hang out on occasion. His friends were a tight-knit bunch that only tolerated me because I was his friend. They also didn't like me because of the company I kept.
I was nothing more then a whore, but without the cheap motel room and the payments for services. Well my payments came in the form of booze, smokes and the occasional line of coke. I don't know why I let it continue, I knew that Edward would spend all of his free time making sure I could get into a good college if I let him. The truth is that I think I was past the point of redemption. I was just being selfish keeping my friendship with the beautiful boy sitting next to me.
"Bella, are you even paying attention?" He huffed out in an exasperated tone.
The giggle passed my lips before I could stifle it. He looked torn for a moment. "Sorry," I apologized but without any real sincerity.
He pushed up on his elbow, looked down at my supine form, and let a smirk cross his face as he saw me trying to stifle my fit of giggles. "I don't know why you wanted to watch the stars with me if you weren't going to look at them."
"Oh come on Edward!" I pushed myself up, causing him to almost fall backward to avoid the clashing of our heads together. I reached out to help stop his downward momentum but forgot that I was also in motion. I wound up tumbling forward onto Edward's chest.
I couldn't stifle the laughter anymore and looked up to see his face beet-red as he tried to straighten out the tangled mess of limbs we had become. Pretty soon in his haste to keep a respectable distance from us, his hand slipped on a loose piece of tar paper causing his body to crash into me and his hand to land just to the side of my left breast. I could only watch as it happened and felt my back connect with the roof of his parent's house. I hope that they won't be too upset if there was any damage.
It wasn't a secret that we were up here hell, Esme even packed us some food to eat. It had been their idea to sit on the roof to see the falling stars in the first place. I still didn't understand why they allowed Edward to hang out with me. I was grateful though.
A tingle shot up my skin as his hand slid behind me and caught on my tank top, pulling the fabric up. He had landed with his chest against mine with his head on my shoulder. The ache in my chest and back was fleeting as he turned his head to look into my eyes. The wide green eyes that I'd know anywhere stared nervously at me as if afraid that he had made a wrong move or maybe offended me somehow. The thought alone was laughable. How does one offend a whore who has nothing left of her soul to give?
Yet as he stared at me in that moment, his look shifted from nervousness to something different. He looked at me as if I was something precious and important. In that moment I didn't feel like the town tramp or the daughter of a mother who was hell-bent on finding a new man all the time and never home to realize that her daughter was suffering. In that moment, I felt like I was beautiful.
Without thinking about it, I leaned forward and pressed my lips softly to his. I expected his hesitation, so I softly kissed his bottom lip then molded my lips to his top one. He exhaled a shaky breath through his nose and his wide eyes drifted closed as he pressed into my mouth. It was hesitant and innocent and just everything Edward. His smell of paper and some sort of aftershave filled my senses.
I let the kiss continue chastely for a moment before parting my lips and cautiously licking his. His lips parted with a sucked in breath. My tongue entered to touch his. I had little to give but I could pour all of my experience into kissing him. I had to wonder if he'd ever kissed anyone else. The thought fled my brain when his tentative tongue came towards mine and rubbed it slightly.
His chest was still against mine and his hand was still bracing his weight under my arm. I felt his other arm move up and push some of the hair away from my face as he cupped my jaw. I felt my eyes fill with tears at his tender ministrations. My hands came up to his jaw and I ran my hand across the stubble that was accumulating there. My fingers followed the line back to his ear where I traced the ridges of cartilage before moving into his hair and stroking his scalp. His hair was just as soft as I remembered it.
"Bella," he whispered into my mouth before pressing his lips harder into mine. He said my name like it was a prayer.
I moved my mouth from his and took sensual nips and licks of his jaw and neck as I moved my hands down and under his shirt. I knew he still worked out a little, but was surprised to find the tone, lean muscle that covered his torso. I felt his muscles tense as he sucked in another breath and his arms shook slightly while he tried to hold his weight above me.
With a gentle tug, I rolled him onto his back and straddled his thighs. He looked up at me with wide-eyed wonder as I pulled my tank top from my body leaving me in only my midnight blue satin bra. I pulled his arms until he was in a sitting position and kissed him again. The gentle innocence of his kisses intoxicated me and I felt more turned on then I had ever been.
His hands sat on my waist almost as if he was afraid to touch me, but his thumbs making small circles at the skin above my shorts. My mind screamed at me that he might not want this and I had to listen if for only a moment. He was my one true friend and as soulless as I am and could be, I would never do anything to cause this young, impressionable man pain if I could stop it.
"Edward," I whispered against his neck while placing hot open-mouthed kisses along his collarbone. I told myself I would give him the option, but not that I would fight fair.
He let out a low groan and I felt his hips shift toward me, his length evident in its straining. My hips rocked instinctively forward searching out the friction. It caused him to gasp into my ear. I called his name once again as I reached his ear and moved my hands to cup his jaw and bring his face to mine.
When he opened his eyes, I could see them looking almost hazy, clouded and darkened with lust and another emotion that I couldn't place. I didn't focus on it any longer though. I needed to find out what he wanted or if I had just disgusted him. I would totally understand the disgust, but it would be painful to bear coming from him. It was nothing less then I deserved though.
"Do you want me to stop?" My voice was husky and lust ridden.
He looked at me for a moment, as if he was trying to put his thoughts in order before he spoke. It wasn't odd for him to do that, but the abnormally long pause concerned me and I was ready to get dressed and leave when he finally spoke.
A husky timber of his usually smooth voice made me want to melt into him even more. "No, but I don't want to hurt you, Bella. I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to."
I blinked back the tears at the thought that he was yet again being so good to me. It was like the times in grade school when Renee would forget to pack me lunch and he shared his meals with me. There was also that time when I was fourteen, fell down the stairs to the school, and broke my wrist. He simply carried me to the nurse's office and stayed with me until Esme came and took us both to the hospital where his father took care of me. He never left my side.
I had nothing to offer him back but myself. I wasn't good enough for him, but maybe I could be something enjoyable for him. The million times that he had been there for me, this little bit I could give him in return.
"I don't want to pressure you, but I do want this." I whispered and pressed my lips back to his.
His breath was in ragged gasps when I finally pulled away. "God, you feel so good Bella!"
It didn't escape my notice that he had been calling me Bella. He had said it was Italian for beautiful a while ago, but loved calling me by my full name consistently for some unknown reason.
I yanked his shirt above his head and it joined mine somewhere behind us. I kissed his chest and savored every groan and moan that he made. I never felt this happy while doing this to guys before. It had always been a means to an end, but with Edward, it was an all-encompassing feeling that made me look for how to make his next noise come out. Every gasp, moan, and hiss he made only made me want him more.
When I finally worked my way down to his pants and flicked open his button I could feel how damp my shorts were. I didn't bother with underwear tonight because all of them had been in the wash. Now I was happy about that fact. I stood from his lap and empathized with the forlorn look that crossed his face at the lack of contact between our bodies.
The expression shifted into something of desire as I moved to unbutton and zipper my jean shorts. Once I finished unzipping them, I left them on to reach behind me and remove my bra. I've done this a hundred times at least, but no one had ever watched me with the look of awe and reverence his face held as I stripped out of my clothes.
I kneeled next to him and finished unfastening his jeans before placing open mouth kisses down his stomach to his hipbones then following the dark trail of hair down to his boxers where his length was straining behind them. I pulled them both off as he lifted his hips to help me. When I turned back around from depositing them behind me, I found him looking very shy and self-conscious, awkwardly trying to cover himself by pulling up his knees.
I licked my lips and crawled toward him. His eyes fixed on the gentle sway of my breasts. I grabbed his hands and brought them to me. His palms cupped my mounds and he looked to me in askance.
"Just touch me." I said looking at him as I sat next to him and guided his hands over my body.
My eyes didn't stray from his face as he watched in fascination as my nipples became harder under his touch and when he softly pinched them, I sucked in a sharp breath. He started to move his hand away, but I grabbed it before he could get too far.
"That was just fine. Trust me I'll let you know if you hurt me." I lied.
I had been hurt by so many people that I didn't even like. Edward could light fire to me if that would make him happy and I would let him.
As he touched me, a different fire ignited inside me and I felt an ache and desire to be closer to him. It was consuming me. I wanted him. I never felt for anyone before what I felt for him.
His explorations began to include his lips and tongue across my chest. I felt every lick and suck as it flared up inside me and shot straight to my center. I wanted to jump out of my skin as I felt him press his length against my leg. I felt him twitch against me and he suddenly looked up to my face, embarrassed. The blush spreading over his cheeks was endearing and I couldn't stop from pulling him on top of me and kissing him again.
My legs spread to grant him access. I knew I was clean, I had just been to the clinic a few weeks back, but I wondered if he wanted to wear protection. I hadn't even thought about that. I had been on the pill for ages so I didn't worry about anything else.
His eyes bore into mine. "Are you sure, Bella?"
"More then anything," Was all I could whisper as he looked down at me with that odd look again.
He seemed slightly unsure as he tried to access me and I reached a hand between us to guide him in. He hissed and his jaw clenched. I think that he had uttered a few curses but that fled my mind as he was lined up and pushed into me.
It was slow and unsure; his body had broken out in a sweat at some point because his hair was now damp and sticking to his face. Once he was all the way in, he stopped and mashed his lips to me in a bruising kiss. He chanted my name and other words against my lips in his musical voice.
My mind was too full of him and I pressed my hips against him, grinding against him as my body demanded more friction. He whimpered and began to move against me slowly. His lips peppering my face as my hands fisted his hair and clawed at his shoulders.
His arms were shaking with strain and I could feel his abdomen tightening. "Let go, Edward."
As if something in him snapped, he dropped his face to my neck and drove into me as he nipped and bit along my neck and shoulder. It didn't last much longer and I felt him tense against me as his body convulsed against mine.
Our harsh breaths filled the silence as he struggled to hold himself up. I traced the muscles in his arm before knocking his elbow and causing him to fall against me. I delighted in his weight against me as our breaths evened out. I realized that even though I hadn't come, it was one of the most intimate experiences of my life.
"I love you, Isabella." He whispered against my skin as he kissed and licked every available surface of me he could get his mouth on. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and held me tight to him.
I froze in fear. I don't think I was supposed to hear what he said, but it didn't change that I did. He wasn't supposed to love me. I was just supposed to be the girl who had sex with him. Something he could brag about to the guys. I was not worth loving or caring.
When he brought his lips to mine, again I lost my concentration on what I was thinking and savored the feeling of him against me. I smiled against his lips at the whimper that escaped him when he slipped from me. I totally understood missing the connection. His kisses continued in a soft fashion, chaste and closed mouth kisses, but still filled with emotion.
I wanted to push him away. I was no good for him. He was brilliant and wonderful and needed to find someone who could compliment that. That was not me.
"Bella," he called breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Hmmm?" Yes I'm very eloquent, just the girl he needs for sure.
"I asked if you are ok."
"I'm fine, are you ok?" I couldn't help but try to distract him. My fingers ran down his sides to that ticklish spot just above his hipbones.
His forehead met mine as he gazed into my eyes. I wondered when he took off his glasses.
"Better then I'd ever imagined." He whispered against my lips before kissing me again, and because I'm selfish and a coward I basked in the feeling of him for a while longer.
I never knew what it felt like to feel loved but if this was it then I understand why people would crave this emotion. I helped him dress and slowly put my own clothes back on before he helped me into the window of his bedroom. Wrapping me in his arms, he held me tightly against him. I wanted this feeling to last, but I knew the second that I walked away the real world would fall down around me and I would be nothing more then a loser.
He walked me to the door of his house where I told him that I was perfectly capable of walking to my own house, which was less then fifty-yards away. He grinned and pushed me out the door following me into the night. He always walked me home. I stopped trying to argue with him about it years ago. He held my hand and when we got to my porch, he ran his hand along my jaw and kissed me once more.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He said before turning and walking away.
I watched him leave until I couldn't see him in the dark any longer. My fingers trailed over my lips in a reminder of what being cherished feels like. I stupidly contemplated a life where I was loved and accepted. The feeling of warmth and love that Edward exuded for me was creating delusions, and I snorted at the thought of me being lovable.
I turned and walked into my house where I found my mother sitting at the kitchen table with a letter and an unreadable expression on her face.
Thanks to all who read and those who take the time to review. I hope you enjoy the story.
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