Disclaimer: We don't own Death Note or Michael Jackson. We do, however, own the cake that L is eating!
Light Yagami sat slumped in one of the many uncomfortable chairs in the Task Force Headquarters, almost asleep when Ryuzaki's monotone voice interrupted the quiet, peaceful atmosphere. "Will Light-kun please turn the radio on?" he asked absently, poking around in a large bowl of jellybeans. There have to be more reds in here... he thought, tilting his head to look up from the bottom of the container.
"Why, Ryuzaki?" Light mumbled sleepily, wondering how L could still be fully awake at 3:30 in the morning. "It's too late, and everyone else is asleep..." he trailed off. "Because Light-kun is falling asleep when there is still work to be done." L stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. The bronze-haired teen glared up at L dangerously. "No, go to bed."
"Fine. I'll do it myself." L yawned, turning the knob on the anicent radio beside him. "See, you're tired too. Go to sleep." Light shifted his legs in the chair, trying to get comfortable as the first few notes of Michael Jackson's Thriller filled the room. "Ugh, Ryuzaki! Change the station!" he moaned, a headache already starting. "No, I don't want to," the raven-haired dectective replied stubbornly, still rooting around in the bowl for his jellybean.
Light covered his ears with his hands, attempting to block out the annoyingly high-pitched voice and horrible sound that was coming from the stereo. "I hate this song! It shouldn't even be considered music."
L cocked his head to the side, sitting back in the chair when he failed to find his candy. "Really? I rather like it." He started tapping his foot in time to the music. "It's very...original." he said, selecting a light-pink frosted cupcake from a tray of sweets beside him. Light ground his teeth together, pulling a pillow over his face. Which only caused L to turn the music up louder, penetrating even the thick pillow Light was holding.
"Turn. It. Off." Light growled, rolling over to face L. "NOW!"
He lunged at Ryuzaki when the detective ignored his commands. L nimbly ducked out of the way, slamming his foot into the younger man's face with no apparent effort. "Light-kun's probability of being Kira has gone up five percent." he remarked, shoving Light back into his chair. "Because of his inability to go ten minutes without violence."
Stupid Michael Jackson. Stupid radio. Stupid Ryuzaki! Light thought, rolling his chair as far away as it could possibly go without pulling L out of his chair by the chain connecting the two of them. "Ryuzaki?" Light asked, suddenly being hit with a way to fix his problem. "I need to go to the bathroom." L looked suspiciously at Light, then at the bathroom door.
"Fine." he said, lifting himself up out of his chair. "Come on." Light stood up and immediatly followed him, still plugging his ears to keep from hearing the song. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door, forcing L to crouch outside the door while he waited.
"I'm such a genius," Light laughed, pulling a scrap of the Death Note out of his shirt cuff. "What?" L called, his voice muffled by the thick wooden door.
"I didn't say anything!" he yelled back, searching the drawers for some of Misa's eyeliner, and grinning when he found a purple pencil. He scribbled something on the paper, then threw it in the toilet and flushed it.
Light slammed open the door without warning, knocking L out of the way. "Oops." he laughed, smirking at the detective, who was currently pinned between the door and the wall behind it.
L stuck his tounge out at Light and started for his chair. "You know what, Light-kun? I thought of something for you to do." After a pause, he announced, "A friend of mine sent me some vegetables-" he wrinkled his nose- "And the beans need to be, er, I think the term is 'stringed'."
Light's jaw fell open. "You want me to string beans? I don't even know how to string beans!" L smirked at him. "I suppose you will just have to learn."
Light growled softly and took the bucket of green beans from the table L pointed at, and sat down on the couch. A few minutes later, Light asked sullenly, "Can't I at least turn on the TV? Since your 'favorite song' isn't playing anymore." L rolled his eyes and turned off the radio. "Sure," he mumbled, turning back to his computer.
"Michael Jackson has just been taken to the hospital, as he is currently undergoing cardiac arrest," the anchorman announced. L's jaw dropped, and he almost yanked Light out of the chair in an effort to get closer to the TV. He crouched right in front of it, causing Light to have to lean fowards to see over him. "Eh, move it, Ryuzaki. I can't see."
L slowly turned his head toward Light, daggers shooting out of his huge black eyes. "Shut. Up." Light cringed away from his glare, quickly pretending to be busy stringing the beans. "Sorry, sorry." he muttered. L turned his attention back to the television as the news came back on. "We regret to inform you that Michael Jackson has just passed away..." Light didn't hear anything after that, because L started wailing loudly as he was punching Light. "Why? Whhhhhy?"
"Ryu...zaki...get...off!" Light grunted, shoving L off of him and running behind the couch. "Don't touch me!"
"How could this happen?" L moaned, collapsing in a chair. "How?" Light snorted at L, and then an evil smile came across his face. "Hahaha,'' he chuckled.
"Ahem," Light began, moving a safe distance away from L, in case he wanted to punch Light for saying this. "When Farah Fawcett died, God granted her one wish. She wished that all the children on Earth would be safe, so God killed Michael Jackson."
L's eyes grew wide with horror. "Nooooo! Stop, stop!" he begged.
Light smiled wider. "Since Michael Jackson is 99% plastic," he continued relentlessly, "He will not be creamated, he will be melted down into Legos, so that kids can play with him for a change."
L lunged for Light, but Light stepped away and turned up the volume on the TV, hoping for more news about Michael Jackson's death, though he knew exactly when and how he died.
Instead, the anchorman stated, "We will now, in a tribute to the memory of Michael Jackson, play all of his songs." Thriller began, and Light covered his ears and yelled, "Not again!"
L smiled in happiness, jumped up, and started dancing and singing along. "Oh, my God, talk about scarred for life," Light groaned loudly. L stopped dancing and glared at him. "Shut up, Light-kun." he resumed dancing as Smooth Criminal came on. "Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?" he sang, picking up a sucker to use as a microphone, and shaking his hips to the music.
"Killing him was so not a good idea." Light mumbled, stringing another bean. L froze mid-shake and turned to look at the bronze-haired teen sitting behind him. "You killed him, Light-kun? Or, should I say, Kira-kun?"
"NO! I was just saying that to, um, God." Ryuk appeared beside Light, only visable to him. "Hyuk, hyuk. But I thought you were God, Light." Ryuk chuckled dakly, obviously joking. Light ignored him, focused on L's response.
"Uh-huh, I'm sure you were, Kira." He slid down into a crouch and stalked toward Light. "I'm not Kira! Quit calling me that!" He yelled slightly hysterically and ran backwards, falling over the couch. Which, in turn, pulled L onto the couch, and right on top of Light's Death Note. "Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk." Ryuk laughed again.
L's eyes widened more than Light would've thought possible, and his voice rose up a few octaves. "Who...who was that?"
"Oh, this is gonna be GOOD!" Ryuk said, looking under L's chair for an apple. L jumped almost a foot in the air as Ryuk brushed against him. "What's going on?!"
L turned and actually saw Ryuk, and started freaking out. "OH MY GOD! A SHINIGAMI!" He jumped on top of the TV and curled up into a ball, his eyes darting between Light and Ryuk. "Oh," he muttered, and stood up, calm again. "I see now." His eyes sparkled with knowledge. "If you wern't Kira, Light-kun, then how would you in fact have a shinigami?"
"He's...not mine?" Uncertanity made it a question.
L turned to Ryuk, slowly getting up off the TV. "Are you Light's shinigami?"
Ryuk laughed at Light and said, "Maybe." L frowned. "Why won't you tell me?" he asked. Ryuk saw a bowl of fruit on a table and drifted to it, taking an apple and eating it. "Why should I make it that easy for you? Humans are so interesting, espeically you and Light." He swallowed the core and took another one. "But," he started, grinning evilly at Light. "I'll give you a little hint."
"Ryuk, no!" Light hissed, smacking the apple out of his hands. "Ah-ha! And how would you know his name if he isn't yours? Wait-" L turned to Ryuk. "You are male, aren't you...Ryuk?" This brought on another round of laughter, which oddly reminded L of the laughter of one of his students, Beyond Birthday. "No, I'm obviously a girl." Ryuk chuckled sarcastically, picking up another apple.
"So, Kira-kun killed Michael Jackson, is that correct?" L asked, taking an apple for himself out of the bowl. "You know, I don't usually eat apples," he murmured. "I prefer sweets," he added, pulling a jellybean out his back pocket. "Eew...it's warm," L complained, and spit it out.
"No, I didn't, but you know, Michael Jackson was almost as ugly as Ryuk," Light said randomly. This caused Ryuk to snarl and turn to L. "Fine. He's Kira. Light Yagami is Kira and he killed Micheal Jackson." he said happily.
Light's eyes widened and he fell backwards. "No...Ryuk! I don't know what he's talking about! He's lying!" He scrambled towards the door, only to be stopped by Mogi, who had heard the commotion downstairs and came to see what was going on. "Let me go!" Light screamed, punching at Mogi.
"So Light is Kira?" Mogi asked L, pulling Light's hands behind his back. "It would appear so. Just like I always though." L smiled, pulling a different pair of handcuffs out of a drawer and locking them around Light's wrists, then taking the cuffs connecting the two of them off. "Let's put Kira-kun over here," L began, walking over to the couch. "We can hook him to the arm here, and..."
"Oh, you're just brilliant." Ryuk chuckled, pulling another apple out of the bowl. "Hooking him up to a couch which he could easily escape from when you've got an entire interrogation room right down the hall."
L blushed. "Oh. I forgot about that."
"Forgot what?" Mogi asked, looking confused.
"Why would you want to interrogate me? I'm not Kira!" Light desperately tried to convince him, scooting farther away from the older man. "Of course you're not, Kira-kun." L said smoothly. "Just the fact that there's a random Death Note sitting on the couch, the fact that Michael Jackson - the greatest singer in the history of ever - died, right after you were complaining about how annoying his songs were, and the fact that your shinigami told me that you were, definately prove that you're not Kira."
"What shinigami?" Mogi frowned.
The leather couch squeaked as Light pulled it farther across the room, towards the door, only to be stopped by Ryuk. "Why'd you do it, Ryuk?! Why'd you tell him that I'm Kira?"
"Who's Ryuk?" Mogi was getting more irritated by the moment.
"Aha!" L pounced on Light. "You admit it!" Light's eyes widened even more. "But...I...you don't have a recording device! You can't prove anything!" Which caused L to gesture to one of the many cameras located in every corner of the room. "Ryuk can't tell them! They can't see him!" Light whispered frantically. L held up the Death Note by the corner, looking at the shinigami floating beside Light.
"If they touch this, they can see you, correct?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and pulling out another jellybean. "Dang it...this one's warm, too!" Ryuk nodded.
Light rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe if you wouldn't keep it in your pocket, they wouldn't be!" L glared at him, unlocking the hallway door. "Shut. Up." Mogi started after him."Wh-'' he began, only to have the door slammed in his face. "Why does everyone keep ignoring me?" Mogi wailed.
"Wait...where are we going?!" Light shrieked, being dragged by L to a small doorway in the general direction of the kitchen. "Here." L responded, pulling Light into a bright room with television screens on every wall and huge speakers hanging from the ceiling. "Sit down." L commanded, shoving Light into a chair where metal cuffs snapped up from and held his arms, legs, and neck to the chair. "Now watch."
He pressed a button on the remote, turning all the television screens on, playing a Michael Jackson concert DVD. "Nooooooooo!" Light screeched, immediatly closing his eyes. "Turn it offffffffff!"
"Sorry." L smirked, walking out of the room.
"Ryuzaki?" Matsuda asked nervously the next morning, walking down the stairs to find L without his constant companion. "Where's Light?"
L looked up, an evil glint in his eyes. "I assume you heard the horrible news about Michael Jackson's tragic death?" Matsuda walked closer to L, confused by the sudden subject change. "Um, yeah...what does that have to do with anything?"
"Light-kun confessed last night, by accident, of course, that he is Kira."
"No way!" Matsuda said, running his fingers through his short hair. "I trusted him!"
L nodded slightly. "I know what you mean, and I would like to say the same, but, I can't say I did trust him. I always knew he was Kira. Ooh, cake!" He exclaimed, heading down the hallway where Watari was carrying chocolate cake. "Oh, L," Matsuda sighed, following him to hear more about Kira. "So what happened?" he prompted when L didn't continue what he was saying. "And where's Light? You never told us."
"Hm...fine." L grumbled as Matsuda yanked the cake away from him when he didn't respond. "If I tell you, may I have my cake? Please?" he added on when Watari glared at him. "Oh, by the way, did you know Billy Mays died, too?" Matsuda asked, taking a bite of L's cake.
"Of...a heart attack, I presume." L whispered, his eyes cold. "Come with me, please." He led Watari and Matsuda to the door where Light was at, and opened the door. Light was twitching in the chair, his head turned away from the TV. "Kira-kun." L called, turning off the television. "Billy Mays, too? What did he ever do to you?"
Light looked up, dark circles under his eyes like L's. "I don't even know who that is!"
"Of course you don't, Kira-kun," L smirked sarcastically. "Does this ring any bells?" He pulled a tub of Oxyclean from seemingly nowhere, and picked up a cup of coffee off of a small table. "Oxyclean," he advertised in an deep voice. "Removes stains from almost anything! Including stupid, stuck-up, horrible, evil, insane, dumb serial killers. For example...!" He poured the hot coffee over Light's head, and then dumped the tub of Oxyclean on him.
"Ow, you idiot!" Light shrieked, shaking his head to get the scalding coffee off. "See? Magically removes anything!" L finished.
Matsuda and Watari stared at him in shock. "Do you have any proof this time? That Light's Kira, I mean." Watari asked, dabbing at Light's head with a towel. "Of course I do." L said, picking up a remote and pressing the play button on it. "It was right here...Our whole conversation was recorded! It was right here! What happened? Liiight!" L wailed, glaring at him. "What did you do?!"
"What do you mean, what did I do? There was nothing to erase!" Light shot back, trying to get out of the chair. "Yes there was! The whole conversation between you and me and Ryuk...and the apples...you were stringing beans..." L muttered, sounding crazier by the second. Ryuk popped into the room, causing L to say excitedly, "See?! there he is! Ryuk can tell you everything."
"Er, L...No one's in here besides us and Light." Matsuda started backing away from L. "Watari," he hissed. "Ryuzaki's starting to scare me!" Watari leaned down and loosened Light's restraints. "L, how long has it been since you slept last?" he asked, turning his head to face the dark-haired man, who currently seemed to be having a conversation with the air. "But you did something!" L insisted, tugging the air as if it was a sleeve. He then turned around and answered the question. "About...I don't know! I can't even rember. Now if you could please be so kind as to shut up, I will be able to prove something," he snapped in an uncharacteristically mean voice.
Watari looked taken aback. "Well..."
"Where are the tapes? Tell me right now!" L commanded, folding his arms over his chest. "Fine. Don't tell me." He then turned to Light, sulking. "What did he do with them, Kira-kun?" When Light refused to respond, L sauntered over and slapped his face. "Where are they?!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Ryuzaki." Light snarled through clenched teeth. "And don't call me-" He was cut off as L punched him again. "Shut up and tell me!" he hissed, drawing back his arm to hit again, when he felt cold metal snap around his wrist. "Watari...? What...what is this?" he asked in disbelief as he saw the handcuff around his wrist. "What is this for?"
Watari started to drag L out of the room. "I'm sorry, Ryuzaki. I didn't want to have to do this." he said sadly, pulling him through the door. "No, wait! He's Kira! If we could just...if we could just find the tapes! Or his Death Note, then his Shinigami could tell you! I'm telling you the truth!"
"I would believe you, L, but this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Remember when you were convinced Light was Kira after you found all of your desserts missing? And when you fell asleep and blamed him for putting sleeping pills into your coffee, you thought he was Kira. "Well, I was right!" L shrieked, clawing at Watari's head.
"No, you were wrong. Ryuzaki, you need to quit accusing Light. He has done nothing wrong." Watari scolded, opening a door and gently pushing L inside, to a square room where all the walls were covered in thick, yellow foam. "You can't do this! Noooo!" L wailed as Watari shut the door.
He sadly walked back to the room in which Light was currently confined, and apologized for L's behavior. "I think all the stress without any sleep has finally gotten to him" he told everyone there. "I'm afraid we'll have to keep him locked up for his own good." Light shook his head. "It's too bad, I don't think we'll be able to solve the case without him. Looks like Kira will keep killing. And...who's going to take care of Ryuzaki? I'm not trying to sound like a coward, but I'm kind of scared to go in there with him."
"That's a good question." Watari murmured, pulling out his cell phone. "I have a friend at the local sanitorioum, and he'd probably help us."
Matsuda stared at Watari. "Why...do you have a friend at a sanitorioum?" Watari shrugged, dialing a number. "I thought it might come in handy one day."
"Yes...may I speak to Owen, please?" he said softly into the mouthpiece.
"How ya doin', Ryuzaki?" the tall blonde man asked cheerfully, handing L a cup of ice cream, and watching the young man sadly lick the swirl on top of it.
"Just...just call me L. I have no reason to use an alias anymore," he said quietly.
Well, there it is! To everyone who I told that this would be up up last weekend, I'm sorry...we've been very busy laying around and playing video games. I didn't mean for it to end in such a depressing way, though! I feel so bad for L...Anyway, thanks for reading and please, please review!