28The Nippon Geographic presents: The Irritable 59
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
Josh Billings
Homo Sapiens Fervidus Italus are hominids that originally come from Italy, although the subgroup 59 seems to present characteristics from other areas, such as the Nippon Rettō.
For the last several weeks we have been observing the movements of The Tsuna in its learning facility and have come across a rare subspecies of Homo Sapiens Fervidus Italus, a 59 that scientists have come to affectionately call 'Tako nelle Paco' ('Tako' is Japanese for octopus) due to his hairsty…uhum…the shape of his mane and his excessive obsession with skulls – which our more worldly observers have linked to the Day of the Dead, a Mexican holiday in which skulls and skeletons are a widely used theme.
The name 'Paco' (American stereotypical name for a Spanish speaking (read: Mexican) male) was originally bestowed upon the 59 when one of the researchers mistook the subject's Italian ramblings for Spanish. One of our female fieldworkers, however, was the one to suggest changing his name from 'Paco el Tako' to 'Tako nelle Paco', to give it a more Italian air.
These creatures are well known to be intelligent, passionate individuals that are unshakably loyal to the (lucky) person they swear themselves to.
59s are an especially aggressive sub-group that is prone to getting into extremely violent fights at the slightest provocation. They are very responsive beings, so be careful with what you say or do around them as they are likely to explode in a cacophony of sound and articulate street fighting - usually done with weapons, which observers believe to also act as symbolic representations of the individual's own personality and creativity.
Tako nelle Paco is probably the poster boy for a typical 59. His grades are an A+ average, he knows how to play the piano (according to his elementary school records), he dresses like a delinquent – and acts like one, too – as well as, using fireworks as his main weapon of choice - not so typical, but it's still a loud, explosive weapon that can cause harm to others.
To sum it up, he looks and acts like the most likely candidate to enter a gang, but with his intelligence and skill for music he is obviously a sensitive soul that is easily hurt and tries to use his excessive bravado to shield himself from the wor- BOOM!
"OK, which one of you fuckers called the Tenth a Neanderthal? I know it was you guys, I saw that article! How dare you use my favorite magazine to deface the Tenth's honor!"
"…we surrender. Please, don't hurt us!"
!BOOM!
And, that ends (prematurely) this month's edition of Nippon Geographic. Tune in next time to find out which will be our next fascinating specimen.
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AN: Just so that we're clear about things, I've got a strange allergic reaction to my thesis. It makes rocks my new best friends.
As for my previous chapter's reviewer, NeoGene, how did you know I was half buried under an ungodly amount of geology texts?
As for the rest of you…I'm sorry for abandoning you all! So, how about if I let you decide whether or not I make a second part for this chapter, staring Gokudera's relationship with Octopus Paul?
Votes:
Belphegor 1
Fran 1
Mukuro 1
Dino 2
Yamamoto 4
Haru 1
Lambo 1