Dear Diary,

I am. Officially. The luckiest. Person. Ever.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

Dear Diary,

Sorry about that. I was completely unable to continue after that. So…James Potter. My current boyfriend. Wow. I feel like a different person than I was even a month ago. Last month I would have looked at these entries and pretty much laughed at myself. Love struck fool. Except…it doesn't seem stupid right now. I used to be level-headed and I used to hate him…Then I saw his good sides. Then I liked him. Now? I don't even know. It's not love. It can't be. It really CAN'T be that kind of thing. I mean, he's still James, even if he is the world's best kisser, and a (can't believe I'm saying this) nice, funny, interesting, guy. Love. Pssh. Can't be.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

Dear Diary,

Severus was talking to Malfoy in Hogsmeade today. It scares me. Malfoy is an affirmed Death Eater. What does that say for Severus? I haven't spoken to him. I admit. I'm making up excuses for it, but I still feel hurt when I think about it, like I've been kicked in the gut. I know that he's apologized, and I've forgiven him for the most part, but…he hurt me. Not so much the words, or really even the intent behind it, but just…I don't know. That he'd turn on me that quickly. I know that he was angry with James and Sirius, and that as a Slytherin, he hears those things all the time, but that he could throw them at me when he was angry at them. Like he felt that I wasn't his friend…I don't know. I guess I'm not making much sense, and I'm reading too much into it. I feel obsessed. Like every time I think of Him, I should think of other things, but it all keeps coming back to that. Never mind, I'll think of other things.

James and I snuck out. I've actually just gotten back. We went up to the Astronomy tower. We had been at Hogsmeade…anyway, he knew I was preoccupied and he wanted me to feel better. I guess I should've been thankful, but I really kind of wanted to be alone. Turns out though, that talking to James does make me feel better. I'm glad I did, even if I was pretending to be worried about something else. Just because I (love) LIKE him, doesn't mean I want him to know about Severus. Actually, that's probably why.

Sincerely, Lily

Dear Diary,

August again. James invited me to stay at his house for a week. Our parents agreed, and I'll stay with him the week before the last week of summer. His parents have a summer cottage in France near the shore, so he told me to prepare for lots of sun. Fair warning with my red skin.

It amazes me how fast summer has gone by already. Everyday there's news about the war. It's started to feel closer, like the closer we get to graduating, the closer we get to the fighting. James told me about a secret group called the Order of the Phoenix that his father joined. It's a group Professor Dumbledore started; a resistance group. It spans from Dumbledore to McGonagall, to a few aurors that work with protection for the school. It gains new members everyday though, from every inch of Magical Britain. James said he plans to join when he graduates, to help fight. I didn't know what to say. I love him, it took long enough to admit it to myself, but now that I have it scares me.

Forever, he said. I hope so. I decided to join too. It took me until just now to figure it out. I won't cower. Not anymore. I'm a mudblood and proud of it. I'm a Gryffindor. And according to him, the someday Mrs. Potter. (So he says, and I really hope he ASKS soon). I won't hide.

I just wonder if the Death Eaters we work against include old school friends… like Severus.

Sincerely,

Lily

SOOOO SORRY. I got accepted into a program at a local theatre, and have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. ESPECIALLY since I was chosen as student director. EEP. Then school, and all those honors classes. Ugh. I'm going to update all my stories and try for regular additions, but I guess we'll just see.

Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed, there are timeline breaks between each entry.