Gotham's Got Talent! Episode: 1

Joker: Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, is the season premier of what is going to be the, uh, greatest show this Summer. Right kiddies?

*hostages nod heads*

Donna: You know, we could have easily gotten an actual audience instead of kidnaping Dr. Arkham and his staff.

Bruce: *panic attack* This, this is awful! Batman's not suppose to do suff like this! My career is going down the toilet!

Joker: No need to worry, Batsy! *puts glasses on Bruce* No one will recognize you now!

Bruce: YAY!

Alfred: Shall I introduce the first contestant, Miss Donna?

Donna: Certainly Alfred!

Alfred: Here we have a young man and his pet whale all the way from the south side of Gotham City. He has been waiting for a chance to prove himself a winner and show his talent off to the world. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to our first ever contestant!

Crane: Hello, my name is -

Joker: *BUZZ*

Crane: I haven't done my act yet!

Bruce: That is one freakishly big jelly bean.

Donna: That's a whale, stupid. Now, what do you and your whale do?

Crane: Mr. Po Po and I are professional stunt doubles and we will be performing an act so deadly, only a handful of people have survived.

Joker: *yawn*

Bruce: Well, I look forward to seeing this. Good luck.

Crane: Hit it Alfred!

Alfred: *starts CD player - dramatic music starts playing*

Crane: *has long staring contest with Mr. Po Po*

Bruce: D:

Joker: XD

Donna: 0_

Alfred: ...

Bruce: That was amazing! You have my vote!

Donna: WHAT?!

Joker: In all my long year in Gotham, I have never seen anything so utterly...Chaotic. Really, you had me on the edge of my seat. I say, Yes!

Donna: *shocked look* What - I - Why - FINE. You have my vote too.

Crane: YAY! We're going to the next round, Mr. Po Po!

Mr. Po Po: Moo.

Alfred: ... *Ahem* Our next contestant tried to destroy Gotham not too long ago. He personally trained my Master, Mr. Bruce Wayne, and he somehow managed to survive a train crash. Don't ask me how. With a new chance at life, he wants to destroy civilizations with style. Contestant number Two.

Bruce: Hey, Al!

Ras Al Ghul: I told you not to call me that.

Joker: Is there some reason why you're wearing my, uh, Nurse Outfit?

Ras Al Ghul: It is part of my act. I believe that when destroying a great city, one must tear it apart not only physically, but mentally as well.

Donna: Uh, okay then. Show us what you got.

*Ninjas dance out playing violins*

Ras Al Ghul: *Starts tap dancing - does an elegant jump in the air - skips around tossing flowers*

Donna: I'm speechless. Your dancing is so amazing, yet brain damaging at the same time. I vote Yes!

Ras Al Ghul: *sob* Thank you.

Joker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! That, that was hilarious. You have my vote.

Bruce: YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO THAT!

Ras Al Ghul: If you vote for me, I'll teach you how.

Bruce: Deal. You're going to the next round!

Ras Al Ghul: BWHAHAH!

Alfred: Our last contestant of the evening was once known as "Gotham's White Knight". Because of a certain make over however, this DA decided that he had a new calling in live. Sir, don't touch those cookies. *punches Harvey*

Harvey: Hello, all!

Joker: Oh, crud. It's him.

Bruce: What brings you to Gotham's Got Talent, Harvey?

Harvey: I believe in world peace.

Donna: Other than that.

Harvey: Oh, uh...I've always wanted to go into modeling for underwear commercials, so that's what my act's going to -

Joker: *BEEP*

Donna: *BEEP*

Bruce: *BEEP*

Harvey: Oh, cruel world!

Alfred: Thank you for joining for our first episode of Gotham's Got Talent. Please join us soon for our next one, some time in the future.