10Warning:
Humour. O.o.c-ness.
Random-ness. Pranks.
Explosions. Insanity. May be hints of yaoi.
Psychotic O.C, I don`t own Death Note,
I only own the plot and Kitana.
Will remain T-rated until I feel like kicking it up a notch!
Chapter 8
Chaos in cars!
'Huh, there seems to be a disturbance in the force…' I said, sitting next to Near. He snorted in reply and stared at his Lego.
'You thought correct young Skywalker...' he muttered. I raised an eyebrow at his mood…I think he may be a little depressed…(1)
'What`s up? Where are the others?' I asked.
'I am annoyed because Mello and Matt are doing stuff related to the case, and they won`t let me or you to help because we are younger than Matt or Mello…I want a light-saber.' He told me, though the light-saber bit was muttered. I shrugged.
'Hmm, we could always make a light-saber…' I suggested, as Near`s face lit up. I pulled out a pen and paper from a pocket.
'Take no- oh, you already are…it should be built just like those from Star Wars…the colours to choose from are: red, blue, green and purple, we should also make some voice-changer masks…to freak out Imagay.' Near smiled, I laughed as I finished writing the last sentence. (2)
'Sounds awesome. Should we inform the others of not bother?' I asked as mister Q trolled in, holding some tubes of all sizes.
'Inform who?'
'We`re gonna make some light-sabers since we can`t do anything here…can we have those tubes?' Near supplied. Mister Q handed the tubes over, looking a little bit surprised.
'We have literally nothing to do, since we are not allowed to help with the Kira case…so Matt and Mello mooched off, and Near and I are flat out bored out of our skulls.' I told him.
'We need more materials…hey, mister Q, can we go to the closest Arts and Crafts store? Or a shopping centre?'
'Yes…but I will be taking you.' Mister Q replied, Near smiled and I hugged his arm as we stood, dusted ourselves off and followed mister Q outta there.
'Who else would we trust to take us places?' I smirked, Near hid his smile in the collar of his shirt.
'Exactly…if I let you both go by your own means, there would be a wreckage in place of the city!' he stated, turning away and walking out of the room, I snickered as we got in the car, and played "Rock, Paper, Scissors" for a while… (3)
'Are we there yet?' Near piped up after our 10th game, I pouted, why can I never win against him! And then face-palmed.
'No. Put your seat-belts on!' mister Q said, we quickly belted up.
20 minutes later…
'Are we there yet?' (4)
'No, Kitana, we are not.'
'Are we there yet?'
'No, Near…play with your robot.'
'How bout now?'
'No, Kitana…go back to reading that manga.'
'…Are we there now?'
'No, Near.'
20 more minutes later…
'Yo, Mister Q! We there yet?'
'Really?'
'No, Kitana now be quiet.'
'…Ass.'
'Language Kitana!'
'English! We there yet?' (5)
'No, and stop being rude Kitana…and don`t even start Near.'
'I wasn`t even going to be rude Watari…just going to ask a very important question.'
'Well? What is the question?'
'Are we there yet?'
'AAHHHRRGGGHHHH!' –insert a screaming fit here-
'Uh, the car stopped…like…in the middle of the road.'
'I think we better run, I see the shopping centre. And before you ask, I grabbed his wallet.'
'Fair does…run whilst he`s still screaming.' I nodded at Near as we undid the seat-belts and opened the door, scrambling out and slamming the door behind us. Near grabbed my hand and we ran like lunatics, through bushes and climbing over fences.
We burst into the mall and panted for breath, we must`ve looked a state: Near was wearing a white long-sleeved dress shirt with a missing sleeve -it got torn off during our escape from the car- and slate-grey jeans. I was wearing my now ripped "Escape from Alcatraz Prison"-style shirt, and bleached and torn jeans. Both of us complete with twigs in our hair, muddy knees and for some reason we had left our shoes in the car, so we were in our socks…Near held up mister Q`s wallet, and seeing a big wad of cash inside, with a very smug smirk on his cherubic face. (6)
'Pull out a few, and put the rest away…we need food!' I giggled, hugging him and then dragged him to the nearest shop. 20 minutes later…
We came out with a bag each, mine was filled to the top with strawberry jam, and Near`s was filled with pink Panther wafers. Near suddenly pulled my sleeve, I looked to where he was taking me: a…toy store? Brilliant! We grinned at each-other and ran in, we grabbed a trolley and went straight to the good stuff.
'Robots! Gonna get loads of these…and some Lego too, and a train-set…' Near trailed as he grabbed boxes and put them into the trolley. I whooped as I chucked toy weapons, anime figurines, Mp3s and some other things into the trolley as well. After spending a good hour and a ½ in there, we finally paid and then left. We got some odd looks by the people, cuz we still have the trolley and soon we rolled up to the D.I.Y store.
'Shall I do this 1?' I asked, Near nodded and I turned and ran into the shop…so much to get! Such little time!
30 minutes later…
I walk out with a trolley full of things, and stuff like drills and saws and planks of wood…and is Near on that kiddie ride? I laughed and walked towards him, he was sat quite comfortably in a Thomas the Tank Engine ride.
'Having fun N?' I grinned: he jumped a little, not seeing me sneak up behind him using my epic ninja skillz! Near smiled and nodded. I parked the trolley, and climbed in with him.
'To where do we travel to?' I asked, digging in my pocket for some change, Near held up a coin and put it into the slot, then we was off! Shame it only moves back and forth quite slowly.
'We are off to the moon! And then we will call the aid of the Autobots so that they can help us fight off the Deceptions!' (7) He cried out, I laughed and then I noticed that he had some reddish goo on his face, I wiped it off and put it in my mouth. Jam…strawberry jam…I glared, Near carried on, totally oblivious to my glares. ~If Near eats jam…he goes totally bat-shit crazy…but I don`t want him to have my jam! I gotta find a good substitute. ~ I suddenly grinned.
'Hey, Cap`n! What did Rodger and Mister Q say you wasn`t allowed to eat?' I asked, Near shrugged in reply and made loud train noises and plane noises. I laughed and joined in, then I heard cackling, a very familiar cackling. Beyond!
'Just thought I might as well check up on you too, cuz the others are all fine…kinda…ish.' Beyond answered my raised eyebrow at his sudden appearance in 3-day absences.
'And where the hell have you been, Beyond?' I hissed, the shinigami waved his a "here and there" gesture. Near grabbed my elbow, hyper-ness partially worn off and started to pull me off the ride.
'We gotta keep going! Plus, we need more clothes…' he trailed off at seeing my smile. I grabbed my trolley and led him to the clothing department.
25 minutes later…
We had decided to shop for all of us –meaning L, Mello, Matt, Near and myself- and grabbing things off rails, and checking if they was good enough, put them into a pile at the desk. Near was outside the shop whilst I shopped. ~Just realized how much I hate shopping…fuck`s sake…~ I face-palmed. (8)
'Hmm…leather and fish-net? Soo getting that!' I grinned as Beyond gave me a thumbs-up and put more stuff on the till. I stopped and stared at a pair of massive New Rocks. ~I am defiantly getting THOSE! ~ I grinned, pulling them off the display, I looked at the shoe size. ~Size 5? Bazinga! ~ I went to go buy them along with our pile…whoa, big pile… (9)
'Since I happen to know you guy`s clothes size and shoe size, I did the liberty of getting some for you lot.' Beyond smiled, a top hat resting on wild, inky hair. I whistled at his larger pile.
15 minutes later…
'We should start making tracks and somehow get Watari to take us and our bounty back to head-quarters…somehow.' Near said from his large trolley, I nodded in reply and we made our way to the exit, stopping a few times to buy a few bags of sweets, chocolate, crisps, wafers and jam jars.
'Hmm…Beyond, go see if you can find Mister Q and that awesome jeep of his.' I practically ordered, Beyond floated off, still wearing that Mad Hatter top-hat. It suits him…
'Is he back, then?' Near asked, he`d crashed and burned due to the fact that he ran out of sugar…I let him eat his wafers though.
'Yeah, but he does terrorize Raito, so it`s all good.' I said, justifying the reasons. The object of our conversation floated through the wall, now wearing a huge grin.
'It`s pretty close…and Mister Q ain`t in it! He`s pacing…what did you guys do to make him pace like that?' he asked, so I told him exactly what we did, with Near putting in a few comments here and there between bites of wafer biscuits.
'Kyeehahahahaa! Well done! Let`s just hope he`s cooled off a little.' I blinked at Beyond`s wide grin and I pushed my trolley and followed him, Near close and pushing his own trolley.
'Did I mention that you both look like asylum escapees? What did you do? Run through 9 bushes, splash in several puddles and climb over 2 fences?' Beyond joked, and laughed at my hesitant nod. He then told me of some the things he did.
'We gotta go, I can see the car.' Near stated, pointing. We sprinted over to the car, I popped open the boot and started putting all our stuff in, Near helped and soon it all was in there, Near shut the boot lid and we let Beyond put the trolleys in some random part of the car-park.
'Get in! He`s fallen asleep in the front!' I urged as I opened the door and shoved Near in and jumped in after. The door slamming woke Mister Q up, he yelled at us for messing about -Near sneakily put his wallet back- and then drove home.
As soon as we parked the car in the garage, mister Q took the keys and walked off, not even opening the boot.
'Did he just?' Near began, I cut him off with a hug…and then Beyond showed up, pushing a trolley! It was the exact same 1 too! I hugged him and took the trolley, Near helped me fill it.
'We`ll have to carry the rest…Beyond? Can you help us?' he asked B, who agreed and picked a lot of bags up, as did himself and I. After we got everything, I shut the boot, and we went to the lift. And pressing the button…repeatedly…Near rolled his eyes and leaned on the trolley. A few minutes later the lift doors opened up, thankfully, empty. We piled in and jabbed the button. I was just hoping the others wouldn`t notice our ill-gotten gains or us. The doors open and we practically ninja`ed to our rooms, once in we slammed the door shut and dropped everything and collapsed on the soft carpet.
'Best outing ever…shame Mello and Matt didn`t join us…' Near stated softly, me and Beyond laughed in response. A while later, after getting washed and dressed, we started putting the stuff away and I went off in search of L`s room -Beyond led the way as I carried the bags of stuff we got for L- as soon as we got there, I silently broke in and put the bags on the table, and got the hell out of there in case L or Mister Q was nearby. I had Beyond stationed as look-out just in case.
'Now what?' he asked as he cracked open a jar of jam, when I re-locked the door and walked back to our room. Near looked up from the castle he was building out of mega-blocks.
'Now we chill out in here.' I said, only to laugh as Beyond sprawled out on the floor, spidery limbs strewn about.
'#I don`t wanna live, I don`t breathe, unless I feel you next to me! Take the pain I feel! #…And I forgot the rest of that the song.' I sang to myself, somewhere in the room, Near snickered.
'You reckon they want us back?' he asked, I rolled over and looked over to see him building a robot out of the box that we got, I grinned seeing that he had scrunched up the instruction booklet, and flopped back on my bed. (10)
'Probably…we should really go.' I said, not even considering getting up off of my very comfortable bed. Near poked my foot, I moved it and he climbed up on the bed and lay down next to me. Beyond, not wanting to feel left out, he jumped on the bed too and sat against the head-board. I smiled and glanced at the clock only to yelp in surprise.
'Holy shit! It`s 5 o`clock! We gotta get moving!' I rolled off the bed as Near shot up and began to help me hide our bags. Soon, we was speed walking to the meeting, I blinked as Near pushed the door open. Beyond muttered something behind me as we walked in and made a bee-line for L.
'Hiya! Are we late?' I asked, Ryuuzaki shook his head and looked back at the screen, Raito crossed his arms and looked annoyed as I saluted at L and I jumped onto the sofa next to Matt and Mello. Near was sat on a foam jigsaw and was playing with his new transformer.
'So, where did you 2 go? We heard Watari ranting of –his words, not mine- "albino and blonde brats who should be shot for running amok in malls and causing wide-spread panic. -Oh, and here`s the best bit- due to the fact that it resembled the movie "Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay!" hahahaa!' Matt laughed when I nodded.
'Wow…that`s a bit exaggerated…but we did do a pretty epic escape, and it was quite similar, innit Near?' I said.
'Yes, it was more like that movie "Are We There Yet?" since we got him so angry, and then decided that it was a good idea to get out of there while he was yelling.' Near said, a smirk on his face, we all laughed, only to fall silent when I told them what exactly happened in full detail, Near putting in his input every so often. And then Mister Q walked in as I finished my tale.
'Are we there yet?' Near hissed, as he gave L some cake and went back out, causing myself, Mello and Matt to start cackling like a pack of hyenas as he had a grin plastered on his face. (11)
'Uh, Mister Q`s coming this way! Put your game-face on! He looks pissed!' Beyond yelled as he burst in the room, I blinked as Matt somehow managed to tell the others and not asphyxiate himself at the same time was impressive. Then Mister Q burst in, guns blazing. A warning bell went off in my head as a white blur flew past me, I squeaked and I ran, fucking hauled ass. As I ran down the hallway, I suddenly noticed the vent system.
'Like the good old days…fucking Nora.' I growled as in pulled the vent open, climbed in and shut it behind me, and began to crawl through. I sent a silent thank-you to Beyond for warning us, and a just as quiet prayer for Near and the others, hoping they got out of there in time. (12)
A few hours later…
I was starting to get a bit bored…I think I`ve gone up a few floors, not only was it dark and cold, I had no jam! And I kept wondering where the hell I was going. I felt the vent vibrate and suddenly Beyond`s face was inches from my own.
'Ack! What the fuck? What`s wrong with you? Nearly gave me a fucking heart-attack!' I hissed angrily at him, he rolled his blood-red eyes at me, I suddenly noticed that he had a yellowish ring around his pupil and the black around his eyes looked like it was painted on and he had eyebrows too…
'Sorry…you, was a bitch to find…and I for 1, applaud you in your escape. Well-done madam!' he grinned, now actually in the vent with me, he moved back a few feet and waited as I got comfortable and then began telling me what happened afterwards. Mello, Matt and Near had indeed escaped Mister Q`s wrath and are currently hiding in different parts of the building.
'Where are they hiding then?' I asked, as we crawled, Beyond shrugged in reply but told me anyway.
'Near is hiding in a supply cupboard, full of paper, he`ll blend in seeing as he`s like a little ghost…Matt is hiding in the walls, I haven`t a fucking clue how the hell he got in there, and Mello is in the car-park…in somebody`s car, dunno who though. You guys have been watching too many movies! I doubt Mister Q will find you guys though.' I sighed in relief and smiled, shuffling further and peered at a Shute.
'L knows where you all are hiding, but he won`t tell…he finds this funny, and he said after you all had ran, "I trained them well." before getting the hell outta there! He`s actually hiding on the roof, under that big box-thing! Raito was bitching the entire way, before L yelled at him and told him to shut the fuck up or else.' Beyond continued, I giggled.
'Where does this go?' was my only question. He also looked at the shute, a grin on his face, he shrugged and slid down, cackling the entire way before floating back up to me.
'The supply room, I think…go on, it`s like a helter-skelter! Go feet 1st, you could cause yourself some serious damage.' He told me, I nodded, somehow managed to get my feet in front of the shute, I heard Beyond cackling before he pushed me!
'FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!'
-T.B.C-
Tobi: this was a bitch to write out! I have such a shitty life… aaaanywho, here`s the number-thingies!
(1) Star Wars moment…it seemed fitting at the time.
(2) This exact conversation happened at a cosplay thing I went to, I was BB and had a random talk with a Mello and an L.
(3) It`s a good way to pass time…for like, 10 minutes.
(4) I was watching the movie "Are We There Yet?" and got a brain-wave! Not to mention that it pisses drivers off…especially when you`re sat with some kids in a car and you can`t help but join the game of "Let`s piss off the driver!"
(5) I always say that. Teacher`s like: Tobi, Jamie, language! And I smile and go: English! Whilst Jamie is far too busy watching the Rev on his phone to even care.
(6) "Look at all these monies…"
(7) It`s just what Near would say, hyped up on sugar and all that shiz.
(8) I hate shopping too…
(9) My friend Brogan loves that word. Bazinga, it`s from the "Big Bang Theory" if I`m not mistaken…
(10) Who uses a instruction manual nowadays?
(11) It probably looks like a scene from "Lion King" when Scar is being evil…or a scene from "Alice in Wonderland" (Tim Burton version) where Cheshire Cat is just grinning as Mad Hatter, Dormouse and Mad March Hare are having a food fight.
(12) She was too busy getting out of there and immediately thought the worst when she wasn`t being followed out of there.