20Summary: She was tired of being the good girl. She was tired of being looked down upon. Tired of not being good enough. They wondered why she'd turned to him of all people. She'd turned to him; she'd turned to the traitor, because with him she didn't have to be the good girl. He never looked down at her and for him she was always good enough. Always.
Okay so here's my first attempt at a SasuHina or a decent story for that matter. This has been in my head for a while and after a time this has become my favorite coupling in Naruto. (Which I do not own). So well here goes, enjoy - JaneDoe616
Chapter One: Childish Reasoning
'This is bullshit,' I thought. My eyes widened at my own thoughts, shocked at my words. But that's how I felt at the time and, although those aren't the words I'd use now that I was thinking more clearly, that's how I still felt. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It was a childish reason and in the back of my mind I knew that. Still, it didn't make it any less true. I'd always been a firm believer in thinking that children always seemed to have the best logic. Too bad no one else agreed with me or I just might have had some sort of reasonable argument. I sighed heavily and rolled onto my back.
I could still remember the blank non-caring look on his face when he'd told me. How he hadn't blinked of batted an eye or even gave a single hint that he was sorry that he was doing this. That he was ending my life without striking a single physical blow. That I would resign as a shinobi. I'd like to think that I would have taken it differently had he shown some sort of remorse. I guess I'll never know.
'It's no longer necessary,' He'd said. 'A waste of your time. You have other important things to do now that you are coming of age'.
"No longer necessary," I whispered to myself.
So I was no longer necessary? Had I ever been necessary? Or was I simply some little girl who they let play ninja for a while? God, was I that bad of a kunoichi? That bad of a representation of the Hyuuga Clan to the point where they would rather have me at home doing nothing than have my mediocre ninja skills besmirch the Hyuuga name? Apparently so, because that's exactly what they were going to do. That's exactly what they were doing.
I rolled over on my bed again and stared outside the window to the village. I'd like to think that I was necessary. I hoped that the village needed me. I hoped somebody needed me. Anybody at all would do. I didn't want to quit being a shinobi. I knew that I could have been better. I really could have. My chakra capacity wasn't as great as the others, I'd admit. My skill level in using my Byakugan could have been better as well. I could have been faster, more agile I suppose and my reflexes were a little slow. But I could fix all that. I could train harder. I could. I would, if only they would give me a chance to. Besides, I was good at some things. My chakra control was rivaled by none, not even Neji. I was an amazing medic second only to Sakura and I'd even made it to Jounin, so I couldn't have been that bad. But if I wasn't then why were they doing this to me?
I didn't want to resign. As hard as it was and as much as I beat myself up for not being better, I loved being a kunoichi. It was my life. It was all I had left. They had taken so many things from me; my voice, my freedom, my courage. They couldn't have this. I wouldn't let them take this from me too. I suddenly found myself angry. This shocked me as well. I was rarely ever angry. If I ever was, it was myself that I was angry with. I'd never been angry with my clan; I could never bring myself to be. I'd resented them before and often wished that I belonged to a different family, but it wouldn't last long and afterward I'd feel terribly guilty for betraying my family in such a way. But right now, for the first time, I was angry. I was enraged and it scared me that I liked it. I couldn't stop myself from remembering all the things that they and done to me. All the things they had said and the things that I knew that they would do one day. This only succeeded in making me angrier. I realized then that I had tears coming down my face now. It didn't matter. I'd become extremely good at silent crying over the years
It was at then that I found my resolve. It was hard to grasp and I was afraid of it like a child to darkness, but I wouldn't let it go. No matter how much it scared me. I would stop being a kunoichi the day I died, not a day sooner. They could not, and would not take this away from me too. I wouldn't let them. I rolled to the other side of my bed and curled in a ball and cried even more. I cried because I knew the obstacles I would face. I cried because I knew that this time there would probably be a chance they would disown me. I cried for all the times I knew I would want to cry in the near, and possibly distant, future.
I cried long and hard but I cried softly, because I knew that if any others in the compound ever heard me they would think I was weak. I cried even harder because as angry as I was at her family right now, as much as I hated them, in the back of my mind I knew that I still wanted them to accept me. I stopped crying and strengthened my resolve even more and became a little less scared because I knew that they never would.
'God, this was so unfair' were my last thoughts before I cried myself to sleep.
A/N Okay so there it is. It'll be get much more interesting later in the story but for now I really just have to get the setting and show you how this is gonna go. The next chapter will be longer critiques are much welcome. I have had the story betaed by Pyrite and would like to than k her very much for doing it because it makes me feel a lot better about the story ^_^
- JaneDoe616