"Confessions of a Mary-Sue"-Chapter 6

(A/N)- I'm back from doing NaNo, and even though I lost, I'm excited to be writing fanfic again! So, here's the sixth installment of "Confessions of a Mary-Sue."

"Ponyboy! Sodapop!" I stepped into the Curtis house two days after my day in the park with Johnny and called for my two favorite ex-brothers. I looked real cute that day- I was wearing a pink baby- doll shirt, a red Hollister hoodie over it, a brand new pair of white skinny jeans, tan Ugg boots, my make-up looking stunning, and my hair was now a gingery red- and I wanted Pony and Soda to see me and my fabulous new look. After all, they were cute boys, and I was a cute girl…maybe me and one of the Curtis brothers would make a cute couple. Maybe it was scandalous to flirt with your brother. But then again, they weren't my brothers anymore.

When I walked into the house that day, though, it was completely dark and silent- strange, considering seven teenage boys were always around here. No TV blaring, no radio blasting the Doors or some other band, no lights or anything turned on. Complete silence. I called "Hello!" into the darkness, and suddenly, the door behind me slammed shut loudly. I jumped, raced for the door, and found that it was locked.

"Hello there, Honeypie." A voice said from the darkness. I froze, not exactly scared- I never got scared, I was so above that-but uneasy.

"Who…who's there. Who are you?" Smart as I was, I didn't have a clue who was talking to me. When no one answered, I straightened my back and said, "I mean it, y'know. Show yourself right now."

For a moment, there was more silence. Then, I heard the voice say, "I know we don't know each other well, Honeypie, and not for very long, either. But I'm hopelessly in love with you."

"Who are you?" I asked again, reaching for my pocket where my switchblade was. "What the hell do you want?"

And to my surprise, out of the shadows came…Darry Curtis. 20-year-old, strong, scary-ass Darry Curtis.

My gorgeous mouth dropped open. "Darry? You? But…"

"But what?" Darry snapped, irritated. I noticed then that Darry wasn't standing- he was sitting in Dad's old armchair looking like he hadn't slept in days. He was surrounded by dozens of newspapers, and I was nothing short of terrified that he had finally snapped. (I didn't show it, of course)

"Nothing, Darry. It's just that you look so…so…"

"Weak!" His whole body tensed, as if he was trying to control a massive amount of anger. "To you, it's weak. But think! You do not understand who I am or why I'm the way I am. You cannot!"

I blinked. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you talking so weird?"

Darry sighed and flicked on the light switch right next to his chair. The room went bright and the dark mood immediately left the room. "Okay, here's the deal. I need a beautiful and charming girl-meaning you, preferably- to be with me." Darry's voice became faster and slightly panicked when he saw my face. "No, no! Don't think of it like that. I know I don't have Two-Bit's sense of humor or Johnnycake's quiet charm, but I'm a pretty good guy, I reckon. I have muscles, and I'll love and protect you like I do my brothers."

I sighed, sat on the arm of the chair, and started smoothing out my ex-brother's hair. He just didn't get it. Obviously, he wasn't smart as little ol' me. "Darry, listen to me…"

"What do Dally and Sodapop have that I ain't? Tell me that, Honeypie." Darry was obviously upset. "Why can't I get those good-lookin' girls to fall in love with me like they do Ponyboy and all them?"

I sighed and started to say something, but Darry interrupted me again. "I'm strong! I'm protective! I'm…"

"An asexual hardass?" I offered. It was risky to talk to Darry like that- he could beat my head in if I wanted- but I wasn't scared to get sassy like some girls.

Darry blinked in disbelief. "A what?"

"Oh, please! Don't tell me you don't see it, Darry!" I said. "You sit in that stupid chair all day long, read the newspaper, start hollerin' about the tiniest things, and randomly spank Pony and Soda- which, I'm not gonna lie, freaks me out a little. And besides, when you're not here, you're working too hard to notice anything that goes on at home or how Ponyboy or whoever is feeling!"

Darry looked hurt, but remained tight lipped. "Don't you get it, Darry!" I continued. "It's not that you don't have a girl because the rest of the gang or what you have or what you don't do- it's what you do do. Do you understand me, Darry?"

Darry didn't move a muscle. I rolled my eyes and started to leave when I heard Darry call, "Honeypie, wait!" I turned around and could've fainted from the shock.

Darry Curtis was walking.

Not that I had never seen him walk before- when he worked or was threatening to beat Ponyboy or something- but he was obviously struggling to get out of the chair. He was practically standing, too, before he collapsed in the armchair. He looked so pathetic and sad that I just had to encourage him. Because that's just the kind of person I am.

"Come on, Darry! Come here, boy!" I called cheerfully, snapping my fingers as if trying to call a dog. It took a minute or two, but Darry eventually started walking towards me. He went slowly but surely, one foot in front of the other. Once he reached me, I threw my arms around him.

"Darry, oh my God, you did it!" I said as I was hugging him tightly."You have a life!"

"I do…?" Darry asked, his voice full of wonder, almost dreamlike. I nodded, and Darry's face completely lit up. He picked me up and spun me around the room screaming, "I have a life, Honeypie! I have a life! I'll have a girl in no time!"

I laughed. "Put me down!" He did, and as we stared into each others' eyes, I noticed we were holding each others' hands. Although I didn't think Darry noticed, I didn't move them. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was starting to like Darry Curtis. What I thought was impossible at one time was actually becoming reality.

"So…" Darry said. "Let's have sex!"

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. "What!"

"Yeah, let's do it right now, right here! Why not!" Darry yelled excitedly. "On the floor, or on the couch…Hell, why don't we just do it in the road!"

"Um…But…I…" I stared at Darry, bewildered. He had just gone from asexual hardass to part animal in 30 seconds, and for once in my life, I was speechless.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Darry yelled, and ran into Soda's room. I heard a drawer open and shut, and reemerged with at least a dozen condoms clenched in his hands. "You know me, I'm always prepared. Thank God Soda has so many of these things… So, what sex position do you like best, Honeypie? I really don't know any, 'cause the only person I've ever done it with was myself…Hey, I got a better idea! How 'bout we role play or whatever you call it? Two-Bit told me once that I should try the Naughty Schoolgirl and her Headmaster…"

That did it- I had heard enough. Way too much information. "Darry, isn't there a party going on at Buck's right now?"

Darry gasped dramatically. "OMGWTF! Honeypie, you're so right! I'm going to be late!" Suddenly, Darry grabbed my face and kissed me with more passion than I had ever experienced in my life-and boys had kissed me passionately all the time. "You're still my first choice for a steady girlfriend, Honeypie- think about it." I was still in a bit of shock and only stood and watched as Darry ripped off his shirt and ran out of the door, screaming, "Hey ladies- I'm available! Drinks on me!"

Right as Darry raced out of the house, Steve stepped inside. He watched Darry go and said, "Great- you haven't even been in town a week, and you broke Darry. Isn't there anything you weird-colored eyed girls can't do?"

"Oh, shut it, Steve." I grumbled.

"Wait a minute, is your hair red? I didn't know Darry dug gingers!" Steve said smugly. I grabbed Mom's vase and chucked it at Steve in a blind rage. It smashed against the wall, missing Steve's head by mere inches.

Steve's eyes were wide with fear, but the rest of his face was filled with rage. "You crazy bitch…" He stomped out of the house, and I sighed heavily. I had no idea making all of the Curtis gang boys fall in love with me would make me lose my sanity as well.