Disclaimer: For all of you readers who for some strange reason have not read the other chapters, I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. I also do not own a man-eating tiger, a squadron of entertaining winged monkeys, a zombie army, a yellow brick road or a private jet. Life is cruel, my friends.
Scene 13: The ballet studio (dun dun duuun)
James: I am an evil criminal mastermind and…
Bella: *Yawn* Can we get on with this? Some of us haven't slept properly since their stalkerish vampire boyfriend told them he'd been creeping into their room and watching them sleep.
Bella: GET ON WITH IT, FOOL!
James: Oh…oh, right. Where was I? Ah yes, the ranting. No one will ever find you in time, despite what the movies show. Mwahahaha!
Bella: Movies are wrong? I feel so betrayed!
(James breaks Bella's leg, before biting her hand.)
Bella: You know, that kind of hur… AAH! OW OW OW! YOU *BEEP*ING *BEEP*, YOU BIT ME! OW!
(All of a sudden superhero music starts playing and the Cullens appear.)
Edward: Never fear, Bella. I won't let the sadistic vampire hurt y…Oh. Right. I guess stopping for a grizzly burger on the way here was a bad idea then?
Bella: HE BIT ME, HE BIT ME!
Jasper: Take this, stinky! (Rips of James' head)
Alice: Heeey! You said I could do the ripping, Jazzy-poo!
Jasper: *sigh* Fine. (Puts head back on for Alice.)
Alice: Yay! Let's get 'im, guys!
Bella: HE BIT ME, HE BIT ME!
Carlisle: I'll have to do some tests to see what's wrong with her. (Does doctory things for a while)
Carlisle: My tests seem to show that…James bit her!
Edward: Really, however did you guess?
Carlisle: Edward, you'll have to suck the venom out.
Edward: But I might kill her!
Carlisle: Well, at least if she dies it'll shut her up! Get on with it!
(Edward sucks the venom out.)
Edward: Yummy! But it tastes of… Skittles? Bella?
Bella: I'm not high on skittles! Ooh, look at the pretty purple unicorns, Eddie-kins.
Carlisle: *Raises eyebrow* Eddie-kins, eh?
Edward: Don't ask. I've sucked out the venom, Bella. You won't turn into a vampire now. Isn't that great?
Bella: I won't? NO IT IS BLOODY WELL NOT GREAT! WHEN I WAKE UP YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO DEAD, EDDIE-KINS!
(Bella falls asleep)
Carlisle: Well thank God for that!
Scene 14: Prom
Bella: Remind me why I'm wearing this dress again?
Edward: Is it because Alice tied you up and forced it over your head while Rose did your hair and make up?
Bella: Why did you let her, more importantly?
Edward: *winces* She threatened my Volvo with an axe.
Bella: WHAT? SO NOW YOUR CAR MEANS MORE TO YOU THAN I DO? YOU KNOW, I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU FOR NOT LETTING ME BE A VAMPIRE!
Edward: I'm really, really sorry, Bella. How can I make it up to you?
Bella: Well, I might forgive you if you bought me a packet of skittles… coughandmakemeintoavampirecough.
Edward: I heard you, Bella. Vampire senses, remember.
Bella: Darn. What if I said please?
Bella: Pretty please with sugar on top?
Edward: Well, what about if I bought you two packets of skittles and a bottle of coke instead?
Bella: Deal. But you haven't heard the last of this, you know.
Edward: I know. I have read the next script, unlike some people I could mention. (looks meaningfully at Bella. Out of the shadows steps…)
Jacob: Oh, er…umm hang on a sec, I think I've forgotten my lines.
Edward: Well, shoo then. Off with you, mutt.
(Jacob walks off, Bella and Edward start dancing and all is peaceful until…)
Edward: Jasper Whitlock Hale! You keep that large novelty salt shaker away from my girlfriend now!
Jasper: Blast! Foiled again! (Slinks off.)
A/N: Well, that was the last chapter! The reason Jasper has the last line (other than the comedy value of it) is because everyone loves Jasper, don't they? Don't they? We'll be making this script into a video on YouTube. Our account is called TwiPuppetProductions, and we already have two short episodes up. As always, please review! It makes me smile when you do. =)