This is set in sixth year, completely ignores HBP and DH, and is a really crappy piece of work I did a long time ago. It is also log dead, as can be figured out by the titles of the story. There will be more crappy dead bunnies being put in this story, several of which will be for this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, unless I fall through a hole in space-time and end up in the past where I recreate Harry Potter under the alias of J.K. Rowling, but really, how likely is that?


It was pretty much a normal day on the Hogwarts Express for Harry, Ron and Hermione. Normal that is, until a girl with hip length gold-blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and opalescent gold eyes burst into their compartment.

Harry stared at her. It couldn't be. He hadn't seen her since he first went to Hogwarts. The Dursleys had said that her parents and her had died. Maybe the Dursley's had lied?

The girl paused a moment to catch her breath, it appeared that she had run the length of the entire train. Then she started talking. A lot.

"Hi! My name's Karen but please call me Wulf. Who was the albino who brought two gorillas on the train? What year are you going into? I'm going into sixth year, even though I just discovered magic this summer. They say that 'you must learn with kids your age.' Well that sucks cause I got five years to make up. You know what? He-" she pointed to Harry "-reminds me of someone I used to know but was told died."

For a few seconds there was silence in the compartment and then Harry spoke up. "Wulfie? It is really you, isn't it?" Karen stared at him for a second and then squealed, launching herself at Harry and latching onto his neck, tightly, sobbing. Ron and Hermione stared, seemingly trying to decide what to do, while Harry tried to figure out what Karen was saying.

"Baer...Crash...Hospital...Just got out...August...Missed..."

Hermione tried to start talking, most likely to tell off Karen for cussing in front of a prefect but Harry glared at Hermione with a definite 'Speak, and expect to wake up tomorrow with me holding a rusty butter knife to your throat'. Hermione quailed.

"Hush, little Wulfie." Harry soothed. " I assure you I know exactly how you feel. In fact, it was probably worse for me. When I got back from Hogwarts, I had just seen a student get murdered because I was trying to be fair. I needed you far more than you could have needed me, or else you would have been on the train last year. It tore me apart to not be able to see you that year. I honestly thought I wouldn't make it through that summer. I was dying when they came for me. Now, why don't you see if you can tell me how you felt."

Karen gulped down her tears. "Well, you see, what I was trying to say was that I thought you were dead. The Giraffe and the Whale Major told me that you had gotten killed in a car accident with Creepy Cat Lady during our first visit after I entered middle school. My school, for some unknown reason revolves around winter as beginning and ending. I thought, they have to be lying. But after five years I had finally given up hope when some idiots in white masks busted into our home and started yelling some crap about filthy muddles. As you remember, I hate anyone calling me filthy, when I'm not anyways." Harry had to smile, remembering the time she had decked Dudley during her annual visit for calling her filthy by association with him. "Yes, I thought you would remember that. Well, they called me filthy and so I lunged at them, ignoring the puny spells they were trying to cast on me. Honestly, Rex is way more powerful!" Here Harry snorted, while Ron and Hermione gazed on in uncomprehending disbelief.

"So true, Wulfie, so true."

Now Ron and Hermione were just plain astonished. Sirius had died last year, but here Harry was, acting completely normal. Not to mention he was saying the Death Eaters spells were nothing! He must have gone insane in grief.

Karen smiled too. "Yes well, I didn't realize until later the significance of that act. Well, then I punched the living daylights of the idiots, not noticing that my foster parents had died while I was occupied. And right about then, the members of the Order known as the Tumbling Turkey started poofing into my living room. An old dude, henceforth known as Fish-" Harry laughed, a happy, carefree laugh that neither of the sixth-years in the compartment had ever heard.

"Fish. What the hell? That is probably the most random one I have heard."

"Not from my perspective. First time I saw the man, he did look like one. Apparently I was like a christmas light from the spells I had caught. Quite frightening when I pointed my finger at them and freaking LIGHTNING came out. I never could call lightning, that was you. Well, I learned that I had a stupid rite performed by my parents that wouldn't allow my human power out until my life was in danger. Voila, ticket to this madhouse. Now, your turn."

However, before Harry could begin talking, Hermione started yelling her head off. "Harry James Potter! What are you doing and who the hell is she? She must be a Death Eater because I know for a fact it is impossible for magic to not appear until you are sixteen! Don't you remember telling Ron that he was your first friend? And How does she know about the Order? I suggest you get out of here now, Death Eater scum!"

Karen sobbed a little and fled the compartment. Harry stood up and stared at Hermione ominously before speaking. "Hermione, I am disappointed in you. You cannot stand the idea of someone having something happen that you cannot understand, therefore, if anything does they must be a Death Eater in disguise. I for one want to catch up with my best friend who I haven't seen in five years. Excuse me if that makes me an idiot. However I can tell you that she is definitely who she says she is. Goodbye." With that Harry turned and stalked out, leaving behind two slack-jawed magis staring at them.

Harry turned to Karen, who was standing behind the door, trying to suppress her giggles. "Nice one, Baer. I was worried you would have forgotten the signal what with everything else that you have had to remember."

Harry smiled at her before they both dissolved into fits of laughter at the stupefied expressions on the teen magical people. When they had finally managed to calm down Harry stated, "I could never forget any of what we did, little Wulf."

Karen giggled before sighing and turning away from Harry and staring at the wall opposite them. She hesitated before beginning to speak softly. It was obvious that she was no longer on a train speeding through Scotland and was instead many, many miles and years away. "Harry, do...do you ever wish that we could be in a different time and place. 'Cause, right now, I want nothing more than to go back to the summer you turned eleven. You remember, with the forest?..." She turned and scooted onto Harry's lap as they both stared at the wall, lost in memories of a time long ago. A time when they were both the happiest that they had ever been, and had thought they would ever be...

: - ,, - '' - ,, - '' - :

A pair of ten-year-olds, a boy and a girl, one in clothes about ten sizes too big and the other in formerly designer clothes that were ripped and dirty beyond recognition, ran down the street, excited about their plans for the day. They were going to go into the forest that everyone else seemed to have no clue about existing.

"Come on, Harry. Hurry up! I wanna see what's in there! We've never gone in there." The girl whined at the boy, Harry.

"Hold your horses, Ren, I'm coming." the boy yelled back exasperated. They talked no more as they continued to the forest. Once they reached the edge of the forest they started to run again, jumping, climbing, ducking, and whatever else they felt like doing. They continued on in that vein for some time before Karen ran into Harry when he suddenly stopped and stared at something ahead of him.

"Harry! What...The..." Karen began yelling at him, trailing off as he raised a shaky hand and pointed at the thing he had been staring at. A silver deer-like horse with a horn. In other words a unicorn.

The unicorn snorted, and in its snorts they could hear what it was saying. "Welcome little ones," it rumbled, " It has been some time since one of your kind has entered the Forest. Only one with magic in your heart and the forest in your veins can see this place."

Harry and Karen just stared for about a minute before Harry spoke up. "Um. Well. Uh. Whycanweunderstandyou?" he blurted all in one breath.

The unicorn chuckled and replied, "The magic of the Forest is translating for you. My name is Moon's Rays and I am Head of the Forest council. We wish to meet those who can enter our forest. Please follow me to the Silver Oak where the Council meets." With that he left, trusting the young ones to follow him and follow him they did.

The two ten-year-olds followed the unicorn, Moon's Rays, clinging to each other and struck dumb by the sudden appearance of a myth and confirmation of magic. Eventually they regained some comfort so they began to chat between themselves as they walked, only to be struck dumb again when they entered a clearing to find themselves before a vast congregation of unicorns, wolves, deer, foxes, squirrels, and all the other woodland creatures you can think of.

After a long time of just staring while the animals conversed among them, a kind looking wolf came up to them and told them what was to be. "My name is Rex and we would like you to remain here until you need to leave, to be trained and taught. Please consider the Forest your home for the time be-"

: - ,, - '' - ,, - '' - :

A sneering voice interrupted their thoughts on the happiest time of their lives. "Well, well, well. What have we here? Scar-head and... Some random girl I have never seen before." Draco Malfoy was standing there staring down at the two friends while his bodyguards chuckled dully behind him. "Why don't I know you? Are you some Mudblood that got lost for years? Or an American? Either way, you are not a pureblood so that means- Pretty lights" :THUD:

Karen was annoyed at the rude little :ahem: Anyway, she was annoyed cause he had interrupted their daydreaming of a better time and then started insulting her. So, she did what any sensible person would have. Namely, punch him silly and then knock him unconscious. Ah, the wonders of the wolves straight-forward thinking... Speaking of which she should probably take care of the two goons cracking their knuckles at her...Damn, Harry's good. He learned a lot from the wolves.

The two idiotic teens yelling at Harry poked their heads out of their compartment. All it took was one look at their faces as they realized the duo had been right outside their compartment the entire time and Harry and Karen fell to the ground laughing at them. They in turn glared at both of them before cautiously asking Harry, "Mate, why are Malfoy and his goons laid out on the floor and you and the newbie rolling on the floor laughing?"

Poor Harry only managed to choke out a few words to the effect of "Taunt...Wulf...Pretty lights...Punch." before they both glanced at each other and dissolved into laughter again. The wand-wielders glanced at each other before deciding no one else needed to see the Harry Potter breaking down. Therefore they each dragged one of them back into the compartment.

Once in the compartment, Harry and Karen managed to calm down. The second they did Ron and Hermione began bombarding them with questions. As soon as Harry was able to get a word in edgewise, he said that he and Karen would explain if the others were quiet.

"Well," Wulf started when Ron and Hermione calmed down. "The albino out there interrupted Baer and I while we were remembering the last time we were together. I, therefore, got kind of pissed off."

Hermione interrupted, "Excuse me, but why do you keep calling Harry Bear?"

Harry decided to answer this. "You see, Hermione, the last time we were together, we gave each other nicknames. Since I could only be near my teacher with a bear nearby or it came to blows, I am called Baer. Karen, was closest to the wolves, especially Rex. That answer your question?" When Hermione and Ron nodded, Karen continued with the story.

"Anyways," she stressed, "I got po'd. As Bear's cousin knows, you don't fuck with me when I'm pissed. Albino did. I, of course, did what any sensible girl would. I punched the lights out of him. He then stopped what he had been saying and instead said, and I quote, 'Pretty lights.' before falling down. Bear then disposed of the gorillas. Speaking of which, how long has it been since you last trained? That wasn't nearly as good as you used to be. Rex would be disappointed."

Harry looked down. "Two years," he whispered.

Karen's eyebrows rose above her hairline. "Two years?" she asked in a voice made all the more deadly by the absolute calmness in it. "We were supposed to practice everyday, and you haven't for two years."

Harry flinched, obviously expecting impending doom. Suddenly, Karen smiled. "Well then, I guess its time to inform you of some more things. Do you know who my foster parents decided would get me if they died before I was eighteen?"

"The Dursleys?" Harry guessed, after all, the Dursleys and the Johnsons had been adopted siblings.

Karen smiled. "Right in one! I came there on the 15th of August! So, we will now be officially living together!" Harry of course, blushed at this. Karen whapped him on the arm.

"Not like that you perv! The innocent brother-sister kind of living together!" Karen mood turned from light-hearted to serious in a second. "However, I do have a piece of bad news."

"What?"

"There was too much, too powerful wand-magic used too close too the forest. The enchantments keeping the non-magis from seeing it were growing less powerful. I heard the Whale Major and the Giraffe talking about the town council meeting to decide what to do with the forest. There was a very good possibility that the forest would be cut down and Moony-"

"Wait," Hermione interrupted, "You know Professor Lupin?"

"Who?" Karen asked, eyebrow raised.

"Professor Lupin was a teacher at the school. He used to be my father's friend. He's also a werewolf and nicknamed Moony," Harry explained.

"Ohhhhhh," Karen said in understanding. "Do you want us to change Moon's nick? By the way, it's awesome that you know a werewolf. I've always wanted to know one."

"Nah, I'm fine. Let's keep it. Seems wrong to change his nick. And I know you have, that's why you are going to meet him as soon as possible."

"All right then. As I was saying, there was a good chance that Moony, Rex, Jalis and everyone would have died. Thankfully I remembered seeing some kind of enlarged trunk, like the TARDIS, in that one shopping mall area thingy. So the next day, I told the Whale Major that he was going to be taking me to London. I went and bought the trunk."

"Hang on, do the Dursleys know you're magical?"

"Of course! They started trying to get me to do what you always did, but I beat 'em up. Surprisingly it gets through their thick heads. After that they left me alone. But back to the forest. When I told everyone what was going to happen, and that I had a thing with which I could take them to safety, everyone came with."

"Oh. My. God. You have the forest in your trunk. You have our best friends in a freaking trunk." Harry seemed to be in shock and then, began to laugh. "Our- haha- our- hahahaha- our claus- hahahaha- trophobic friends -hahahaha- in a trunk. Hahahahahahahaahahahaha."

Karen blinked for a while and when Harry pointed out the claustrophobia, joined him in laughter. When they managed to calm down, they then walked out, presumably to meet their friends. Ron and Hermione, curious about Harry's first friends, tried to follow, but were stopped by Karen.

"You can't come. I know you want to, but unless you have magic in your blood-"

"Which we do!" Ron interjected, but Karen was not done yet.

"And the Forest in your heart, they will not react kindly to you."

With those parting words, Karen swept out of the room to catch up to Harry. That was the last Ron and Hermione saw of them until about a half an hour until the train would reach the station.

~0o0o0~

Harry ran into their compartment, waking the other two from their respite from the real world, Hermione in a book and Ron in sleep. He was obviously panicked about something, judging by the way he frantically looked around, and then climbed onto the luggage rack.

Ron and Hermione were mystified when a hiss of 'no matter what, DON'T tell her I'm up here.' was issued from the person hiding among the smaller suitcases.

The reason for his terror soon became apparent as Karen burst into the compartment, so mad that her hair seemed to be on fire.

"Where is he?" Karen hissed, not even bothering to disguise the utter promise of pain in her voice. Needless to say, Ron and Hermione dumbly pointed at the luggage rack, which let out a dismayed squeak of betrayal at their actions.

"POTTER!" Karen screamed, "GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INTANT SO I CAN CHEW YOU OUT PROPERLY!"

Harry, not being Dudley, and therefore, not dumb enough to ignore her orders, climbed down immediately. Unfortunately, Karen had a VERY healthy set of lungs, and, when pissed, used them to their fullest. So, she managed to gather quite a crowd, simply because there was an unfamiliar teen yelling at Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, The Chosen One, and whatever other crap the Wizarding world as a whole was calling him these days.

Once Harry was standing in front of her, looking suitably terrified regarding his immediate future, Karen began again.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD HAVE DONE? THEY DON'T CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MY PERSONALITY, ONLY MY LOOKS! YES, THEY TRIED TO SET ME UP WITH THE WHALE MINOR! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TRAUMATIZING IT WAS FOR ME TO GO TO YOUR BEDROOM AND SEE YOUR COUSIN IN ONLY HIS BOXERS? NOT TO MENTION HOW OBVIOUSLY... EXCITED HE WAS! I STILL NEED THERAPY FROM THAT! DO NOT JOKE ABOUT THAT! FOR THE RECORD, IF YOU EVER, AND I MEAN EVER, MENTION THAT AGAIN, WE'LL FIND OUT JUST HOW MUCH SKILL YOU HAVE LOST OVER THE YEARS!"

The general population of Hogwarts was stunned. The newbie not only knew Harry, his cousin had tried to hit on her! Hang on! Potter was saying something!

"Sorry Wulfie." Harry said, shuddering at the thought of having to see Dudley nearly naked. "I am so sorry. That- that's not something that is meant to be seen be any sane person."

What was wrong with his cousin for him to say something like that? Well, the girl did mention something about a whale. Perhaps he was overweight?

Karen's eyes blew out their flames. "It's okay, Baer. I know you only meant it as a joke, but the incident was far too recent in my mind to allow teasing just yet. Besides," she added, "I would have been concerned of you had said yes about that whale in boxers thing. God, I'm ready for a fight. Wanna find that albino we knocked out? I need to fight something, and our dummies ain't squishy."

What was that about an albino? Why had Malfoy suddenly paled like the Devil was after him? Why had the girl, Wolf, called Harry Bear?

"Oh, you mean Malfoy? Maybe, I mean, he's just way too wimpy. Even dear old Dudders is less wimpy. Nah Wulfie, I'm sorry to say there isn't anyone on the train that would put up a fight. Though, at the school, there are several ghosts."

Ah, that explained Malfoy's reaction then. And the gigantic bruise on his face. And what do they mean, no one who would put up a fight? They, except the first (and maybe second) years were trained in curses, hexes and jinxes! Surely they could take her! And why mention ghosts? Gah, not even the first day and they had so many questions about Harry Potter.

"Harry," Hermione spoke up, sounding terrified. "Why are you mentioning ghosts? And didn't you already beat Malfoy and his goons up enough?"

Ah, finally some answers! Everyone was eager to hear what they wanted to hear. Therefore, they surged forward. Too much.

Karen, Harry, Hermione and Ron turned surprised eyes at the door as it emitted a loud CRACK. Then they saw the reason the door had cracked.

"What. The bloody hell. Is going on." Ron summed up the compartment's feelings. It was not, after all, a usual occurrence to have the general population of Hogwarts trying to make themselves one with the Trio's door.

Karen leaned over to Harry and whispered, "I take it this isn't a normal thing then."

Harry, dumbfounded, just shook his head slowly.

It was then that the train decided to halt its forward progress abruptly, thereby nearly knocking out one Colin Creevey under Hogwarts' students.

Unconcerned, mostly, the quadruplet that was not squishing or being squished picked their way through the squished forms of their classmates. It looked like they were going to be the only ones who would be able to get off the train unassisted this year.

Once they got out over the bodies of their classmates, the quartet told Hagrid of the fate of their collective classmates. Hagrid then sent a message to the castle, requesting assistance.

Watching impassively as the teachers removed the students from the train, Karen leaned over to Harry.

"So Bear," she asked, "Is our school always this exciting?" At his nod she squealed. "Oh, we are going to have fun this year."

~0o0o0~

A mile away, in the Headmasters office at Hogwarts, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore experienced the sensation known as 'someone walking over your grave' rather violently. This year was going to be bad.

~0o0o0~

And so, the oddest train ride in all thousand years of the school's existence concluded, in four students walking up the long, dusty road to an entirely different world that the ones they had left behind. They were heading towards a world filled with uncertainty, fear, hatred, revulsion, prejudice and fighting, but one thing was certain. The sorting this year was going to be interesting. Very interesting.


Once, more, I would like to say: THIS IS AN OLD PIECE OF CRAP! And that there will be one chapter on the sorting and one on the morning of the first day of school. The bunny died halfway through that chapter, just to warn you.