I was searching through my old writing folder on my mom's laptop and I stumbled upon this! I totally forgot I had written it, months ago, probably last year! Anyway, I thought you might enjoy it. I know I haven't been good with the updates lately but hopefully this helps my incompetence a bit.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH STEPHENIE MEYER OR THE TWILIGHT SAGA!
"You don't believe in marriage?" his tone was puzzled- and a little shocked- as he looked over at her small form.
"No," she was unabashed and unashamed. Almost like not believing in marriage was the most natural thing in the world, as if it made perfect sense.
"Why?" he'd never met someone that confused him so, and he'd lived a long time. Not that he hadn't come in contact with people who didn't believe in marriage, it was just that not believing in marriage usually went hand in hand with not believing in love or the goodness of humanity, and she was someone that encompassed all those things. She was the most good, pure, loving person he'd ever met. She was love incarnate.
"Marriage is more corrupt than government," she stated it simply, then laughed once, "And almost as corrupt as religion," she shook her head slowly, smiling to herself.
"What on Earth do you mean?" she looked up at him with adoring exasperation, like the way a mother might look at her young child who'd just asked the same question for the umpteenth time, and not quite annoyed because his curiosity and the ability to still ask her things would only last so long, until he hit puberty and wanted nothing to do with her, and so she would answer it again.
"It's all just so silly, I mean, people really believe a piece of paper and a few fancy words are going to make their relationship last forever," she rolled her eyes, that smile still in place. Well, what else did marriage mean, if not forever? Of course, it meant forever. That's what he'd been brought up to believe, anyway. And many people still held that view. Besides, that wasn't marriage was, it was more than a piece of paper and a few fancy words, that part was the wedding. Marriage was the union of two people who wanted to cherish each other for the rest of their lives. Sure, it didn't always work out, but that's because a lot of people didn't understand the promise they were making when they made it, and if they had, they probably wouldn't have gotten married in the first place, very few people could handle that sort of commitment. So that sort of thing really couldn't be called a marriage in the first place. Oh god, he was giving himself a headache-could vampires even get those?- maybe he should just have her clarify.
"What do you mean?" she could hear the puzzlement- and the strain- in his voice, and it made her smile again. He was really trying to understand, wasn't he?
"Look at divorce rate these days, and that doesn't even include the separated married couples. And look at how many people cheat on their spouses. Or the abusive husbands who beat on their wives and don't care about their kids. I knew a woman who had six children, an abusive, drunk husband who beat her all the time, then after she finally left him she met a man she really loved, and he loved her, and they couldn't even get married in their own church because they wouldn't annul her previous marriage even though the bastard abused her and cheated on her. And so, the Catholic church deemed their family a "sex act" and all their children were considered illegitimate. Honestly, if marriage is the idea that I have to stay with my abusive husband while he sleeps around with other women, I want nothing to do with it," she made motions with her hands like she was pushing something away.
"Not all men are like that," she rolled her eyes once and for a split second he thought she believed every man cheated on their wife.
"I didn't say they were, but look at the people who hold marriage most dear, them being the church. If they're opinion of marriage means men can get away with anything they want while they're wives stay home and clean and take care of their children, well, I'm not sure humanity should be looking to them for moral guidance," her eyes were hard, but he had a feeling she wasn't angry with him, more the subject was getting her riled up.
"I'm guessing you're a feminist," he smiled and she laughed, throwing her head back.
"You noticed?" she asked playfully. He smiled wider and shook his head at her.
"So, if you don't believe in marriage, what's your opinion on sex before marriage?" she knew the answer to that, too. Well, she was thorough in her thought processes wasn't she? He could appreciate that.
"Someone once told me sex was not for love, sex was for marriage. Guess how I construed that?" she looked at him from the corners of her eyes, they gleamed. His eyes narrowed suspiciously, preparing for the next ridiculous words to roll off those soft, pink lips.
"How?"
"That love wasn't for marriage, either," she laughed again, louder this time.
"You can't really believe that?" he sounded incredulous and she stepped out of the fog laughing so hard had gotten her in. She frowned slightly.
"Why not?" she tilted her head to the side slightly.
"Because-just-what-what else is marriage for?" he spluttered. He hadn't done that in one hundred years, but she brought out a side of him he hadn't even known human. She smiled once and he had a feeling another mind boggling comment was going to spill from that pretty mouth of hers.
"Well, according to the Catholic Church its children," then she laughed again, he thought he heard her snort once but wasn't sure. He hoped she had, the sound had been quite adorable coming from her. Well, whatever it was, he hoped she did it again.
"Do you have something against the Catholic Church?"
"Only their beliefs," she smiled widely at him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but he couldn't help but smile slightly. He hadn't felt this much since…ever, and even this confusion was a welcome feeling.
"Only their beliefs," he muttered. When he looked back up at her she was still smiling. "Do you not like children, either?" her eyes widened.
"Of course, I like children! I love children!" he almost flinched. He almost didn't want her to like children, because he knew he could never give her any, and the thought of another man giving her children made his blood boil-metaphorically, of course. But what he wouldn't give to be the father of her children.
"You made it sound like you didn't."
"No, I just meant I have more value than being a child-bearing woman, I'm useful for other things than giving some idiot a son," there was a tone of resentment in her voice and he wondered if she had once been told that was her only use.
"Any other reason?"
"It's just, there's no point to marriage. The only reason it actually used to be "'Til death do us part" is when women actually weren't allowed to leave their husbands-if they had gotten to choose in the first place-or didn't have the means to support themselves without their husbands and so couldn't leave. And marriages used to be arranged, it had nothing to do with love, if you ended up loving the guy you were forced to marry than good for you, lord knows everyone wasn't so lucky. And the whole concept of women should be virgins when they marry! I mean, who cares about men having sex before marriage, you can't prove it so pretend it didn't happen. But, oh no, the unwed mother, what a tramp! Did you know some Muslims behead their wives if they don't bleed the first time?! The whole institution of marriage is ridiculous." She hadn't taken a breath since she started, and he wasn't really thinking about breathing, either. He'd never heard her rant like that.
"So, you're okay with being with more than one person in your lifetime?" she was surprised that his tone wasn't disapproving, he was so old fashioned she thought for sure after coming to a conclusion like that he'd disapprove of her.
"No, I think it should be special. With the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, only them," she stared out the window, not looking at him, he thought he saw her blush, and he knew he smelled it.
"That just contradicted everything you've said to me about marriage," he laughed once, and the corners of her mouth turned up visibly even from the angle he was at.
"No, I didn't," she turned back to him and the look on her face made his breath catch. She was so beautiful.
"You didn't?" he wondered if she caught the emotion in his voice.
"No, I told you, marriage doesn't constitute forever."
"Then how do you know?" she looked him straight in the eye, waiting for the reaction her next words would bring, wondering if he'd realize the way she looked at him when she said them.
"When you're that in love with someone, when they make up so much of you that you can't go through life without them, you know it," please, tell me he understands…
"How?" the air in the car was thick with flying emotions bouncing around in those love sick hearts of theirs.
"You just do," they hadn't so much as blinked.
"And how are you sure they love you the same way?" he didn't understand, how could she honestly imagine trusting someone so much, having so much faith.
"You'll know it, when its meant to be, you'll know it," there were butterflies in her stomach, it was a dangerous thing to hope that he might feel the same way about her, but he had to, she wouldn't survive if he didn't.
"Meant to be?" he wasn't quite sure what she meant.
"Yeah, like…fate, you know?" she believed in fate. It was odd looking at this conversation through her eyes. The thought that this moment had been planned for thousands of years, maybe millions, that the two of them sitting here, the vampire and the human, both blissfully unaware of how much the other needed them, was disorienting and confusing and…perfect. Maybe they were meant to be, maybe he was wasting his time trying to prevent them falling too madly in love, maybe it was inevitable. It had already happened, anyway. But he wasn't the type to give in so easily.
"For someone who seems to enjoy control over their own life so much its kind of hard to believe you really think all your choices were made for you, and that you're okay with that," he was in desperate danger of getting lost in those eyes of hers.
"That's not what fate is," she sounded so sure, so positive she was right. He didn't understand having so much faith in something, especially not yourself.
"What is it then?"
"God, whatever it is that created us, Goddess, Allah, some spirit thingy, knew the choices we were going to make before we made them, we were always going to make the choices we make," she looked down at her lap, breaking the eye contact they'd been holding, and played with her fingers. "And even if our choices are made for us…I wouldn't have chosen differently," she whispered it, looking back up at him.
The emotion had become too much to bear, but he didn't trust himself the way she seemed to, and he wasn't sure he could handle it, though he wanted to try more than anything in the whole world.
"Bella, I-I want to kiss you," the whisper was nervous, afraid.
"Then kiss me," please, she thought, please, kiss me.
"I'm not sure if I can," what if he hurt her? He'd never be able to live with himself.
"You won't hurt me, I know you won't," he lifted his hand tentatively, bringing it up to touch her face, so gently she barely felt it but for the hyperawareness she seemed to possess around him. When he was sure he had control over himself he brought his entire hand to mold against the side of her precious face. He took another few minutes to get a hold of himself. His touch burned, she wanted crush her lips to his, but knew she couldn't, the last thing she wanted was to make him feel like he couldn't control himself around her. When he was sure of himself, he leaned forward slightly, he went slowly, the distance between their lips was unbearably short even when he wasn't leaning towards her. Please, don't let me hurt her…
His lips were right there, if she moved in the slightest they would be kissing. And then…
Marble met soft flesh and the whole world came alive, and disappeared at the same time. The world around them was gone, they were each other's world; there would never be anything for her but him, and anything for him but her. She felt like she was being showered in warm sunlight and rainbows and shimmering lights seemed to flow around them. The split second had lasted an eternity and when he pulled away he whispered against her lips.
"I love you," she opened her eyes to look into golden butterscotch, and smiled.
"I love you, too."
"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work," she told him.
"Shh, I'm thinking."
"Ugh," she groaned, throwing myself back on the bed and pulling the quilt over her head.
There was no sound, but suddenly he was there. He flipped the cover back so he could see her. He was lying next to her. His hand reached up to brush her hair from her cheek.
"If you don't mind, I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now…tell me something."
"What?" she asked, unwilling.
"If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?"
She could feel the skepticism in her eyes. "You."
He shook his head impatiently. "Something you don't already have."
She was sure where he was trying to lead her, so she thought carefully before she answered. She came up with something that was both true, and also probably impossible.
"I would want…Carlisle not to have to do it. I would want you to change me."
She watched his reaction warily, expecting more of the fury she'd seen at his house. She was surprised that his expression didn't change. It was still calculating, thoughtful.
"What would you be willing to trade for that?"
She couldn't believe her ears. She gawked at his composed face and blurted out the answer before she could think about it.
"Anything."
He smiled faintly, and then pursed his lips. "Five years?"
Her face twisted into an expression somewhere between chagrin and horror.
"You said anything," he reminded her.
"Yes, but, you'll use the time to find a way out of it, I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human-for me, at least. So anything but that."
He frowned. "Three years?"
"No!"
"Isn't it worth anything to you at all?"
She thought about how much she wanted this. Better to keep a poker face, she decided, and not let him know how very much that was. It would give her more leverage. "Six months?"
He rolled his eyes. "Not good enough."
"One year, then," she said. "That's my limit."
"At least give me two."
"No way. Nineteen I'll do. But I'm not going anywhere near twenty. If you're staying in your teens forever, then so am I."
He thought for a minute. "All right. Forget time limits. If you want me to be the one-then you'll just have to meet one condition."
"Condition?" Her voice went flat. "What condition?"
His eyes were cautious-he spoke slowly. "Marry me first."
She froze. Her eyes widened slightly, her mouth slacked.
"Yes," it was his turn to freeze.
"Yes?" his tone was incredulous. Ha, I broke through your poker face, she thought.
"Yes," she couldn't help but smile.
"But you hate marriage," he thought he might choke. He hadn't expected her to agree, at all! The conversation they shared with each other in his car before their first kiss rang in his ears so he wasn't sure if what he was hearing now was real.
"No one said I didn't like weddings," she smiled coyly at him. For a second he just stared at her…then he broke out in the widest crooked grin she'd ever seen. He was exalting, rejoicing in his head. He kissed her fiercely, trying not to smile because then he couldn't kiss her properly, but he couldn't help it. He'd never been happier in his life. She was going to marry him, she was going to be his.
"You're going to be mine," she could hear the smile in his voice, and laughed gently.
"I'm already yours, you stupid vampire," they both laughed. "A piece of paper-,"
"A piece of paper and a few fancy words aren't going to make that anymore official, yeah, yeah, I know," he smiled down at her, and it was the greatest feeling in the whole world knowing, she made him that happy.
"I've taught you well."
"Love, you must know I don't agree with you in the slightest, and even if you don't believe in marriage," he emphasized the word marriage, because apparently she didn't have a problem with weddings. "Don't ruin it for me, I do happen to believe that marriage holds some importance, even if it doesn't bind us together forever. We do that, I know," he smiled at her, to happy to really be stern to get his point across, but he didn't need to.
"Fine, for you, only for you," he smiled again and kissed her. It was a minute before she pulled away.
"Aw, crap," her expression was chagrinned.
"What is it?" concern colored his tone.
"Renee," he laughed at her, and she would have hit him if it would have hurt him at all.
"I think she's going to be thrilled."
"And why is that?" her tone was skeptical.
"Because she doesn't hate marriage half as much as you do, besides, she'll know how much we love each other if you, you, were willing to marry me." She rolled her eyes, but knew he was right. Charlie would probably be more of a problem than Renee, he hated Edward.
They lay there for a while, her head resting between his shoulder and his gentle hand. It was a comfortable silence. Then Edward had a thought.
"Bella?" there was a smile in his voice.
"Yes?"
"How soon would you be willing to wear a ring?" she groaned and he laughed once more.