Disclaimer: Pokémon does not belong to me it belongs to the geniuses at Nintendo.


"No no no. That is not the correct way to hold a pokeball." Tess admonished, hand on hip. She looked with despair at Connor. Shaking her head, she tucked a lock of her hair behind an ear. After finally having accepted that after four consecutive attempts at losing or ditching her two unwanted tag-a-longs neither one was going to leave her alone, Tess had let out her shiny new Totodile for a quick once over. And discovered almost instantly that neither brother knew the slightest thing about pokemon, which included using the equipment, though she suspected the elder brother, Mike, was playing it up so his twin wouldn't feel so bad. This had prompted Tess, the only one who actually knew what she was doing to give them a quick impromptu lesson.

"If you're going to release your pokemon you want the button facing away from you, same if you want to throw the thing at a pokemon." Connor glanced down at the pokeball he was holding and quickly twisted it so the button faced outward. "Okay now press the release button with your thumb."

"Wait don't I like have to say the name of the pokemon I'm releasing or something?" Tess snorted and then after getting a load of both Connor and Mike's very serious faces, burst out laughing. Finally calming herself down she managed to clue both brothers in to a supposedly well-kept pokemon trainer secret.

"You don't actually have to do that. In fact if you haven't given your pokemon a nickname it can be a pretty bad move." Mike furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Seriously? You guys can't even figure that one out on your own?" At the blank looks she was receiving Tess pinched the bridge of her nose. "I hope actual ten year olds are smarter then you two or I'll have to start agreeing with my parents." She mumbled under her breath too quickly for either brother to catch and then louder: "Because then the opponent has time to release a pokemon stronger than yours and the element of surprise is GONE you DOLTS!" Connor blinked.

"Well, why didn't you just say that?" An eyebrow twitched on Tess's face. She grabbed her own two pokeballs from her belt.

"That's it boys. Time for some hands on experience!" She whipped the two pokeballs out, bright translucent flashes releasing the pokemon inside. Mike tossed his own out, his small Cyndaquil appearing with back-flame alit. Connor after fumbling for a few minutes and nearly dropping his pokeball finally managed to release his tiny green starter.

"Monty Leer!" The tiny blue and red scaled pokemon's eyes turned bright red pinning the Chikorita in its place. Tess had decided to name the spunky little water pokemon 'Monty' as soon as she had see him. Mike was already snapping out commands as well, Connor looked entirely too flustered trying to open his pokedex and check on his pokemon's moves. Tess just shook her head, and he, unknowingly had the advantage…well type advantage not that that mattered too much to Man O' War.

"Cyndaquil tackle!" The Cyndaquil darted toward the Totodile but was caught off-guard by the sudden appearance of Tess's second pokemon in the stream.

"Man O' bubblebeam!" The powerful jet of blue bubbles KO'd the fire type instantly…just as Connor figured out an attack.

"Ooohh, uh here's one! Use razor leaf!" The green pokemon all set to launch into an attack glanced back at him with a look of pure disbelief on its face. Mike looked over at Connor, his KO'd Cyndaquil securely in his arms, sometimes, he worried about his brother, he really, really did.

"Chikorita can't use that attack yet idiot." Now it was Connor's turn to look confused.

"Bwwha? It's a grass type!"

"It's a low level grass type you moron! It doesn't know that attack yet!" Connor scratched his head.

"Well what attacks does it know then?" Tess just sighed, her momentary anger deflating quickly.

"Ya know what? This…this is just too easy." She said. Monty looked back at her slightly confused. "Man O' Acid." Tess ordered sounding very depressed. The blue tentacool shot out a glob of dense purple gunk. It sailed through the air and struck the tiny starter, covering the pokemon completely in the dense goo. "That's game to me." Monty happily jumped and down.

"See, now that everyone's healed and happy again. And now that all the idiots have figured out how to use their pokeballs." Here Tess paused to glare at Connor, who was snickering to himself as he continuously released and re-turned his Chikorita. "Will you STOP THAT?!" Connor startled dropped the pokeball, it bounced and let out his Chikorita. "Good, moving on. You need to give your pokemon nicknames. Makes 'em easier to distinguish from others of the same species and you can do all that fancy shouting when you release them."

"Already on that!" Connor said brightly. "I'm gonna call her Clover." His newly named Chikorita chirruped happily, dancing around Connor's legs. Tess raised an eyebrow and wondered if she should tell him that…no nevermind, he'd figure it out on his own and if he didn't then it was his own damn fault for being too stupid to realize his starter was male. She turned to Mike.

"Ex." He said simply.

"Ex?" Tess really wanted to hear the reasoning behind this one. However it was not Mike who spoke.

"He named him Ex, short for Explosion, 'cause Mikey here-" Connor ruffled Mike's hair and ducked the answering swipe. "Ain't very imaginative."

"You should talk." Mike growled. "You named a grass type Clover. That doesn't take much thought." Tess watched without saying a word as the argument quickly went from snarky comments, to yelling and then to a no holds barred all out wrestling/boxing match. She sat down on a handy boulder, Ex and Clover trotting over to her.

"Take a good look kids." She said hand propping her head up. "These are the guys we're stuck with for the foreseeable future." Mike threw a particular right hook, causing Connor to stumble off of him, but only a few seconds later he had thrown himself back on Mike. "Welcome to the rest of you lives."

"Ow! My nose!"


Author's Notes:

-Connor bumbles through life. But damn is it fun to watch him do it. Mike just pretends to know what's going on, Tess actually does…most of the time.

-In other news I continue on my trek through things that defy logic in Pokemon, such as shouting out the exact type of pokemon you're using as you release it into battle. A smart trainer clearly waits for the other one to make the first move or cleverly nicknames their pokemon.

-Okay important thing, the next couple of updates might be late, things are getting kinda busy in my life so I don't have as much time to write as I used to. But never fear I'm working on getting a buffer complete.