5A.N: Just a random one-shot I wrote up... it kind of sucks :( Hopefully, you guys will enjoy it a little, I was bored and hence just started writing :)
Also, I did change the lyric to Demi's 'Solo', so if you think it looks weird, then yes, that's why :)
Disclaimer: CR... hmm, I would love to own it, but I'm not sure I can afford it ;P
-*I wasn't planning to go solo*-
She can't help the tears streaming down her face, or the aching pain left inside of her heart, or the fact that she's broken.
He's gone. He left her. He's never coming back to her. And the worse part of all of this, is that she never got to tell him how she really felt about him.
She was always shy when it came to him - why, she doesn't know. Every time she would open her mouth, ready to say those final words, she would freeze up before chickening out, and make up some random insult so that he wouldn't notice her disappointed expression. Every day, it was the same routine. I'll tell him today, she'd think, but every day, her heart would race, and she'd remind herself that she wasn't the right one for him. He could go for someone prettier, someone famous, someone... better.
And now, every day, she regrets with all her heart keeping her feelings inside. Because now, she'll never get the chance to tell him.
Because on September 3rd, exactly one year and fifteen days ago, Shane Gray died.
She closes her eyes, the familiar memories washing over her. She doesn't try to blink back her tears, because she knows by now that it won't stop the pain. Nothing will make the pain go away. She remembers crystal clearly what she said to him that day.
It was another one of 'those' days - the days when she tried to tell him, but couldn't, in the end. It started out the same, and ended the same. If only she wasn't a chicken, maybe she'd tell him.
She'd been walking from the kitchen, when she'd accidentally bumped into him. His smile made her heart melt, and made her go weak in the knees.
"Hey!" He smiled brightly, catching her before she went crashing to the ground and steadying her. "Sorry 'bout that."
"Oh, no, it's ok." She rushes, not caring that he almost knocked her other. Why would it bother her? He caught her... she glances down, opening her mouth to tell him that she loves him.
"Are you coming to the concert tonight?" He asks, in the middle of her thoughts, and she glances up, her heart jumping into her throat. She thinks, again, of all that could go wrong - he could say no, she could ruin their friendship. She couldn't loose their friendship... "I hear there's a storm coming, it should be interesting. Hopefully everything will go okay." He shifts his weight, and she smiles weakly.
"Yeah, sounds good." She responds, deciding to taunt him instead, because that's just her usual routine. "Don't get caught up in that storm and die, because you know I won't cry at your funeral." She sticks her tongue out at him before running away, noting his raised eyebrows.
If only she'd known that would be the last time she would see him alive, she might have bitten back her words. But now she's got something to regret for the rest of her life.
She'll never forgive herself for her final words to him.
The tears are rolling down her cheeks now, as that fateful day flashes into her mind. Oh, how she hates herself.
It never was true, anyways. She cried that day, she cried at his funeral, and she's cried every day since.
"It's been a year." She glances up, meeting her best friend's sorrow-filled eyes. Somehow, this makes her feel a little better, and the sobs lessen slightly. But only slightly.
She feels as if the hole is still fresh in her heart - salt is being poured on her open wound. She feels her best friend's hand on her shoulder, but she doesn't want to respond. For now, she wants to sit and stare at the headstone.
It's a daily ritual for her. Every day, she comes and sits, staring at the stone in front of her. It's not like anyone cares anyway, because they don't try to come and find her anymore. They already know where she'll be.
Sitting at his headstone, wishing fervently that things had turned out differently. Wishing she still had him by her side. Wishing she hadn't said those horrible things.
"Caitlyn!" She feels her shoulders being shaken, and she glances up, wiping away tears from her eyes as she meets Mitchie's. Her best friend's orbs are clouded over with tears, and Mitchie kneels down beside her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Caity, it's time to move on. He would want you to." She whispers, but Caitlyn only shakes her head.
No, she'll never move on. No, she'll still come here, every day, and wish that she was in his place instead. No, she'll still blame herself.
And yes, she'll still love him. Forever. And nothing can, or will, change that. Ever. Because her heart belongs to Shane Gray.
Yeah, it's a suck-y ending. Sorry about that. Were you guys surprised that it was Caitlyn? Or did you expect it? I wanted you all to think it was Mitchie, so that's why Caitlyn's a little OOC, I wanted it to surprise you all :) Did it work? ;P Review!