A/N ok, I know I ought to be working on my other story, but this plot bunny hopped into my head and took over. I see this as the only way to get rid of it!
Harry is about 20. Let's just say that deathly hallows never existed and Voldemort died by oh.. Falling down Hogwarts' staircase because harry tripped him. Oh, horcruxes didn't happen. I didn't really think this out but it doesn't matter particularly.
I know that this is perhaps a bit OOC but I hope not. Seriously, harry is the savior of the wizarding world and he doesn't go nuts?
First date- the rabid fan girl
"Harry, let's go out to night." Harry pulled back from the kiss and thought fast.
"But Ginny, darling, I really want to have a quiet night in. Hogwarts has been so busy lately." He said with a shy, tired voice. Ginny hugged him to her.
"I understand my sweet, but I just really want people to know about us. I get so jealous when I see those girls swooning over you." She looked up at him through her lashes coquettishly. "I want everyone to know that you're taken."
"They will my love, just not yet." She pulled away.
"Because the newspapers will tear you apart, you're too beautiful for them, and I couldn't stand it. Only when I can control them will I announce our bond." Ginny sighed but complied.
"Is everything alright Harry?" she asked after a pause and several passionate kisses.
"Yeah… yes everything's fine."
Several hours later, he rose from her bed and tiptoed away leaving a note on her pillow saying that something had come up at the school. He exited the house and apparated to a primarily muggle neighborhood.
Second date- the bushy haired genius
Harry tapped on the door and it opened immediately. Hermione stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
"And what time do you call this? How are we meant to go anywhere if you always come at some godforsaken hour?" harry cut off her words with a passionate kiss. She melted into him but pulled away after a short time. "Come in then." She picked a thick book off her shelf and turned to the bookmark. She then looked up at him with her hair tucked behind her ear.
"So what do you feel like doing then Mr. Potter? Are you too tired for anything but vanilla sex to day?" he caressed her cheek sending finger of warmth to her groin.
"Oh I think I'll let you decide today my love." His voice was like dark velvet and she had to take a moment to breathe. Getting her racing heart under control, she picked up the carma sutra and beckoned him into her bedroom.
Harry left as morning came. As he walked to an apparition point, he thought about his antics last night. Truly Hermione was a genius. Whoever knew a tongue could do so many things? But somehow it hadn't lifted his spirits as much as usual.
Third date- sweet innocent devil
As evening was closing in, harry knocked on a back door in the Whitehall region of London. A slim figure in well fitting jeans and halter neck top answered and dragged him in quickly. He was rushed through the house and up to the top room. The door was shut and a silencing charm put up.
"Mother's home." Was the explanation. Harry collapsed on the bed.
"Oh Hannah, I've had such an awful day. The kids were absolute horrors. I swear we weren't as bad in our day!" Hannah abbot sat down next to him and put his head in her lap, stroking his forehead gently.
"Poor love. But you know, I don't think that any of them will get up to what you did."
"No, I suppose not. But it seems worse when you're on the receiving end." Hannah was comforting as usual and even performed a delightful strip dance to cheer him up. Even so, something must be wrong with him.
He mused as he left about the problem. The pleasure he had had in his four girlfriends just wasn't happening now. He felt more enjoyment in looking at 'most eligible bachelor' (minus himself) than 'most eligible spinster' what was happening to him?
Fourth date- metamorphic joys
That same night he went to an old order member. Nymphadora Tonks. As always, she received him by giving him some fire whiskey laced coffee. It was surprisingly good and very stimulating.
"So what do you want me to be tonight for you sweetums?" Tonks asked flirtatiously. Harry looked at her pensively for long enough for her to think something was wrong. When she asked, he answered,
"Nothing, nothing. Hey," he said with almost his usual vigor. "Why don't you choose. Tonks smiled mischievously.
"Fine, but you have to promise to go along with me whatever." His interest was piqued.
"I promise." She morphed slowly, turning one thing at a time. First the hair which went white blond. The features were next, narrowing and pinching. Finally, after various other small bodily changes, a lump grew in the groin area and two lumps disappeared on her chest. What was left was the identical twin to Draco Malfoy.
Harry was openmouthed with horror, but if anything could be said about him, it was that he kept his promises.
He left feeling puzzled. That romp with a boy had given him more pleasure than he had ever known before. Could it be…?
At home he threw some floo powder in the fire.
"Malfoy mansion." Soon after his arrival into the foyer, Draco Malfoy himself came into the room looking rumpled.
"Honestly harry, couldn't it have waited 'till the morning?" they had become friends after Voldemort had died and Draco was reveled to be a spy. Draco taught potions, Snape having been killed in action, and harry taught defense.
"Look, Draco," harry started, ignoring the question. "I think I might like, well, men. And…I might like you." He took a deep breath, let it never be said that he wasn't a Gryffindor in the bravery section. Draco scoffed and Harry chanced opening his eyes.
"Is that all? Well, at least you've got it, finally. I mean, I've only been hinting it to you for the past five years."
"Hang on," harry asked, his brain catching up with Draco's words. "You mean…you like me?"
"Of course you idiot!" and to show it, Draco embraced him and kissed him in a way no one else ever had. Harry was bewildered enough to let him take control for a moment or two before taking over. They wrestled with their tongues for a while before harry won. Draco apparated them to his bedroom without breaking the kiss.
The last date
Harry sat at a round table with his four girlfriends sat around him.
"I guess I haven't been particularly fair to you all. You see, I've been going out with all of you simultaneously. And now I find that I'm not going to find the perfect woman, even in four of you. You see, I'm in love with a man." Draco stepped forwards and flashed them his million dollar smile, then went to stand behind harry. "So I want to say I'm breaking up with all of you and hope we can stay friends. By the way, I'm paying so have what you like to eat."
The girls shared a malicious look after sitting stunned for a few moments. Harry only realized he was totally screwed when they all turned to him wands out.
At the end of the next five minutes, the table was deserted of girls and harry had no hair, hot pink trousers, a tied up tongue, shrunken balls, a sign saying 'man slut' above his head, and bat bogeys flying around everything else.
"It could have gone worse." Said Draco to his lover.