A.N: Hey Guys!
So here is the epilogue =D. I will be working in a sequel later on but I need to write my 'Vampire diaries' story first. I should post the first chapter sometime next week.
Oh did you guy read the official 1st chapter of Spirit Bound that Richelle put as a bonus in the Vampire Academy signed edition? I was so psyched about it. My reaction was actually and I quote myself "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG", true story!
Anyway, don't forget to review the epilogue.
Thank you again for your support through the whole story, you made it a really blast.
1 week later:
Here I was standing before the crowd coming to congratulate us on our achievement. We were now full grown dhampirs ready to die for the Moroi we were trained to protect.
I was graduating top of the class, it would have meant the world to me not more than 6 months ago. I would have jubilated thinking about sticking it up high in the butt of my detractors but now…it didn't mean that much anymore.
I would be lying if I didn't recognized that it made me proud but it actually made me proud BECAUSE it made my friends and family so proud.
I looked at the people before me and I could see the pride in my father's and mother's eyes. I could feel that same pride coming from Lissa, even Christian looked proud! Mark and Oksana stayed too for my graduation and the Moroi's one tomorrow. I looked on the left and saw Adrian standing at the back of the crowd and even if he was far I could read so many things in his face, things that made my heart ache.
Finally, I looked up to the top floor of the dhampir dorm as I knew Dimitri would be watching the ceremony from there.
I found him on the far right corner. He was just a shadow for us but I knew that, with his brand new vision and hearing, it would be like standing in front of me for him.
I cleared my throat and did what they were all expecting from me. I talked about the great future ahead of us, I didn't forget to mention the friends we lost during the battles and all those generic things they wanted to hear. I didn't want to go too personal as I barely held it together as it was.
After the congratulations, I took off my ugly graduation gown and threw it on the pile with the others.
"It's time to partyyyy!" said Eddie swinging his hips shoving me.
"You bet" I said with a wide smile. "You guys go ahead" I said to my family and friends. "I'll meet you in a little bit."
I winked at them trying to sound as cheery as I could before entering the dhampirs' dorm and rushing to the window where I saw Dimitri.
When I walked up I found him still staring out the window.
"You were perfect my Roza," he said not turning around. "You didn't put much of yourself in the speech but I guess I can understand why."
Because I'm heartbroken and on the verve of breaking down every minutes of every day since you told me that you were leaving me. I said to myself. "Yeah well I needed to reach the majority and my experience with life today is a bit peculiar." I said instead.
"It is indeed" he said finally turning around. "I'm going to miss you, you know that" he said and I could hear the profound sadness in his voice.
"I…" I looked at him confused before looking around. My eyes locked on the beige duffle bag on the floor. I kept my eyes on it silently like if I stared to it long enough it would just disappear.
"I'm leaving now." He said locking his eyes on the bag too.
No shit Sherlock! I thought bitterly, but I needed to keep the appearances, it was not like I could change anything anyways. "Already?" I asked trying to keep my voice from shaking as a lump formed in my throat.
He nodded slowly. "I just needed to see you graduate Roza, it was…It was important for me."
And what about what is important to me uh? Like you being beside me? I thought yet again stopping myself from expressing my thoughts but I was not sure I fooled him as I saw a shadow in his eyes.
"You know that it's not because I don't love you right? I love you more than I thought was possible, it's-Never doubt of my love Rose it's the only thing in this world that is unchangeable and deeply anchored in every fiber of my being."
"I know…" I said in a breath. "It just not enough right now, for neither of us." I said hurt.
"Rose…" He took two quick strides to stand just in front of me. I didn't look up, keeping my eyes leveled on his chest. He brought his cool hand on my neck making me shiver like every time his skin touched mine. "I'll come back, you'll always be in my mind," He kissed the top of my head.
I sighed closing the distance between our two bodies resting my forehead on his chest. "I love you."
"As I love you" he whispered in my hair. "But you should continue to live your life Rose, don't put your life on hold because I'm not here. You did that enough." He said now resting his cheek on the top of my head.
I stiffened in his arms. I wanted to kick him like each time he was saying that. It was like saying 'I will probably not come back so don't hold your breath and just move on' .
"Your friends are probably looking for you" said Dimitri tightening his grip around me.
I kissed his chest. "Yeah you're right you better go."
He too a deep breath and lift my face with his forefinger.
He kissed my lips slowly, almost painfully like it was probably the last kiss we'll ever have. It was the first time that kissing Dimitri was actually hurting me.
I didn't even notice the quiet tear that escape my eyes before he softly dried it with the pad of his thumb.
I could see the love and hurt in his eyes but I could also see his guilt, remorse and haunting memories. I knew it was what he felt he had to do but it still hurt me. It was hard to be rational when you felt abandoned.
He sighed again reaching for his bag. "Go to your friends Rose, they love you."
I nodded hoping that the feeling of his lips against mine would linger for the length of his absence.
"I'll miss you" he said before turning around walking slowly to the back building staircase.
"I'll miss you more" I whispered once the door closed behind him.
However, instead of going down to the party, I walked to the other side of the building, in one of the abandoned lounge facing the parking lot and I stayed in front of the window watching Dimitri soft steps as he was leaving my life once again.
Each of his step toward the iron gates were breaking my heart but I knew I couldn't do anything to keep him back. I was just not enough...for now.
When he stepped put the little door beside the huge iron gates and turned right after the guard post, without even a look behind, the remaining part of my heart broke in a million pieces.
I let out a sound that surprised me, it was half way from a groan and a cry.
I kept my eyes locked on the gates even if he was gone now. Did a part of me hoped he would come back? Love never was and never would be rational.
After was could have been mere minutes or an hour I heard light footsteps coming my way but I didn't move.
"Rose?" Asked Adrian walking slowly in the room. "We're all expecting you downstairs."
I nodded still looking out. ""He left" I said keeping my voice as steady and void of emotion that I could. Adrian stayed silent, too silent. "But you knew that already."
"I did" he said simply, I could hear from his voice that he was closer to me than before.
We stayed silent a bit longer, I appreciated him just being here silently.
"How are you doing Rose?" He asked and the solicitude in his voice made my heart tighten.
I forced a smiled and eyed him quickly before returning my attention on the window again. I was about to serve him the well prepared speech that I had been giving them for the past two weeks, since Dimitri and I announced them he would be going away for a while. I repeated that speech so many times in my head that I even started to believe it myself.
"I'm doing fine, I won't say it's not a bit hard to watch him go but I understand why he has to do it." I shrugged. "He'll be back soon anyways." I added as I had a little stabbing pain in my chest.
"Yeah I heard that speech a couple of times before but I have to give it to you, it gets more credible every time you say it."
I turned slowly and locked eyes with him silently.
"You are not fine Rose, maybe you can fool the others" he shrugged his left shoulder cocking his head to the side, "but you can't fool me, I know you are not fine."
"Oh yeah I forgot… you could see it in my aura" I said not able to contain the cold edge in my voice.
"No, I can see it in your eyes."
I looked at him agape. "How? If the other can't…how can you?"
"I think they can, they are just denying it. You need to talk to someone Rose and I would love to be that someone."
I looked at him silently a minute, lips pursed, actually considering that. He was one of the person that I trusted the most. I couldn't talk to Lissa as she had enough to deal with.
I took a deep breath and looked away again. "What do you want me to say Adrian?"
"Anything, just…anything as long as you mean it."
"I know it's terrible but part of me feels like he betrayed me by leaving, like he is spitting on everything we did to bring him back, and I know, I know it's terrible to say that," I quickly glanced at Adrian but his face didn't give anything away. "I'm just so mad and sad and betrayed and…everything in between."
"It will get better Rose and as far as I could feel he really do love you." He said with a sad smile.
"Doesn't make me feel better" I muttered to myself.
"I'm going away for the summer" I finally let out. The new appointed guardians had the summer after graduation off and since Dimitri left I planned to use it.
Adrian didn't even seem surprise about it.
"You don't seem surprised."
"I'm not" He said keeping his eyes locked with mine.
"Lissa told you?" I asked surprised that she would spill something like that. I decided to talk to her about me going hunt Victor. She went ballistic at first of course but I told her it was just for the summer and that she could join me when everything would be settled for her at the Court and with her next semester at Lehigh. It calmed her down quite a bit even if I knew that the Queen would keep her occupied for the whole summer.
He chuckled but it was not an happy laugh. "No she didn't but I know you Rose, when you are feeling bad you have to go and fight some random crusade to make you feel better."
How could he know me so well? I thought really impressed. "I'm going to go and try to find Victor."
"I want to come with you."
"I…Pavel is coming with me." I said not really knowing why but it was true. My father and even Pavel himself wanted to come to help me out.
"Good to know but I'm still coming with you." He said crossing his arms on his chest to show me his determination. "I know you don't need my money this time or even my friendly pre-"
"Okay" I blurted out stopping his ranting.
"Sorry what?" He asked wide eyes.
"I said okay, you can come with us." He was still looking at me like I had two heads and if I wasn't so broken right now I would have laughed.
"I…Really?" He asked narrowing his eyes slightly thinking it was a trick.
I nodded. "Yeah really. Why? Don't really want to come?" I asked with the ghost of a smile this time.
"Of course I want to! I just never thought you would give in so easily." He said still suspicious.
"Well I guess there is a first for everything" I said shrugging slightly. But it was true, I did have some ulterior motives to bring him along. Firstly I did enjoy his company and he was very good at annoying me which would probably help me to keep my mind off Dimitri. Secondly, if Lissa knew I was bringing Adrian along it would ease her mind knowing that I would never put one of my friend at risk willingly…at least not really. Finally, I was bringing him along for a selfish and shameful reason…his link with Dimitri. I promised Dimitri I would let him be, go on with my life and let him heal at his own pace but if he was feeling too low, too depressed I knew that Adrian would tell me and I would go to him wherever he liked it or not. Moreover, I wanted Adrian around so Dimitri could find me, come back to me if he wanted too. I knew it was more than unlikely for him to come back before the end of the summer of course, but I still needed that hope, that faith that it would be as hard for him to consciously live without me as it was for me to be without him.
"When are we leaving?" He asked once his surprise faded.
"In a week time, we'll move to the Court during the week end and once I get my room assigned we should go, probably Monday or Tuesday at the latest."
"Everything is organized already?"
I nodded, "my father is very efficient" I said not able to conceal the fondness in my voice. Who would have thought even 6 months ago that I would have these kind of feelings toward my father? "Everything is ready, he just needs the specific date and the plane, Pavel included, will be expecting me on the Court Runway."
"I always dreamed to go on a road trip" he said teasing.
"Wish granted" I replied finally turning my back to the window accepting that Dimitri would not be coming back today. "Come on let's go, the others are waiting." I said walking to the door not really knowing of what tomorrow will be made of.
"I'm here Rose, no matter what" he said taking my hand, intertwining our fingers.
I gave him a small smile. "I know" I said knowing deep in my heart that it was the truth.