AN: So I got 2 reviews on the last chapter of A Better Look. TWO. So I'm writing this oneshot until I get at least TWO more on the other one...is that too hard? Anyway, enjoy this oneshot.
When I Get Home You're So Dead
"The words are coming I feel terrible,
is it typical for us to end like this?"
"We're done." I say, angrier than I've ever been.
"Lash you know I love you!" she cried.
"Really? You have a weird way of showing it." I spat, the venom in my voice made her flinch.
"Lash I-" I cut her off.
"What Gwen? What are you apologizing for? The fact that I now have a jail record because I wanted to keep you happy? Or that I had to watch you throw yourself at Stronghold everyday for a stupid plan that didn't even work? Or that you cheated on me me countless times with guys and girls? Please tell me because I'm confused!" I yelled.
"Everything!" she exclaimed, tears streaming down her face. I almost caved, I almost hugged her, I almost went back. But I stood my ground and glared.
"Am I just another scene,
from a movie that you've seen 100 times?"
"This isn't a movie Gwen. I forgive you, but I can't be with you. If it happens again..." I trailed off.
"But it won't. Jason please, please don't leave me. I promise it won't happen again!" she said frantically hands gripping my forearms. I freed them and put both hands on her face, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. As my glare softened, her eyes became more hopeful, which would only make it harder for me to do what I was going to do. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, and finally her lips.
I stood straight and let my arms fall to my sides.
"Promises mean nothing Gwen." I smiled sadly and walked away from the last person I would ever fully trust.
"Jason...please." she pleaded. It was so hard not to turn around and go back. So hard to not just start over again and forget the guy she cheated with this time, but I kept walking, not looking back.
"Cause baby you weren't the first or the last or the worst,
but I gotta fill this blank in the past with a verse.
We could sit around and cry but frankly you're not worth it anymore."
I walked the six blocks to my house just thinking about everything. Half-way home I felt the all too familiar prickling of tears wanting to come out, but I wouldn't cry. Not for her, not for anyone ever again.
Gwen wasn't my first love, she won't be my last, but she wasn't the worst either. Yea she walked all over me but I've been treated worse. I would literally do anything for her [homecoming for example] and she knew that. I was love drunk. I forgave her everytime. I deluded myself, thinking I wasn't making her happy enough, thinking I was the cause for her constant cheating. I hated myself because I didn't have it in me to hate her.
"So say hello to all the boys on the top
of this table that you're under. Lipstick lullabies.
This is sorry for the last time."
The worst part is, even though she cheated, it wasn't only on me. She cheated on Stronghold too. I would never say it but he was smart for dumping her before he could fall for her comepletely. He saved himself a lot of hurt. I wasn't that smart. Gwen will find someone she truly loves, someone she wouldn't even think about cheating on. But that someone won't be me.
I can't bear to hear her say sorry again, knowing that it means nothing coming from her lips because I know she'll do it again. Sure she promised, but promises mean nothing. They only set you up for disapointment.
"And baby I understand that you're making new friends,
this how you get by. The moral this time is,
girls make boys cry."
She always said they were friends, and me being the idiot that I am, chose to believe her everytime. I've actually cried. I've cried for her so many times. Not hysterical sobbing but enough to the point were I feel like the pieces of my heart were breaking with every shaky intake of breath.
She's hurt me so much but I keep going back. I honestly can't take anymore heartache. I have enough to deal with.
"On any other day I'd shoot the boy,
but your simple toy
had caused a scene like that."
I thought back to the cause of our breakup this time,
He was sitting alone. Jet black hair falling over ice blue eyes. I watched as Gwen made her way over to him. Her walk sensual, her eyes seductive, and her painted lips in a soft pout that would drive a guy crazy. As she spoke a few words the boy smirked. She flashed a smile that meant she only wanted one thing. He smiled as she flipped her dark brown hair over her bare shoulder, and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. He whispered something back and they stood. She looked toward my direction and we made eye contact for the slightest second. I gave her a blank stare and turned to leave. As I turned I caught a glimpse of her letting herself be pulled out to the dance floor by the nameless boy.
Had I not seen her go up to him, I would've stepped in and punched him. But I knew Gwen. The guy didn't have a chance.
"Leave him hanging on the wall,
just a picture in the hall,
like 100 more."
It's been three weeks. She's just a memory to me now. I'm determined to make it stay that way. But the wound is still fresh. It hasn't healed in the slightest. I pretend I'm fine but no one knows. The only person that would is Gwen. But I'm just another picture in her little black book.
"Consider this a gift, as you taste him on your lips,
and he's making you scream with his hands on your hips.
I hope he leaves you empty baby, this is just a fix,
for such a simple little whore."
We both end up at a party that ice girl is throwing. I decided to spend some time with MaryJane before hand so I was pretty mellowed out. I saw her dancing with some girl. Brown hair and contact green eyes. She saw me and waved. I merely nodded and her smile faded.
Not that I'm bitter but I hope she remembers me when her flavor of the night leaves tomorrow morning and never speaks to her again because that's what usually happens. As I start dancing with some random girl, I find myself dancing towards her.
What seems like a few seconds later, we're in Gwen's room, on her bed. I'm kissing her mouth, her neck, anywhere my lips can touch. We were so tangled together that I couldn't tell which were her's and which were mine.
Skin on skin. That's all I felt. I realized just how much I missed this. Missed her touch, her skin, her hair, her. I had enough sense to know that this was wrong, but not enough will power to stop.
"Gwen." I breathed as we repeated motions we've done numerous times before. We finish and we lay in her bed. Her head is resting on top of my heart, and for the first time in three months, I feel whole.
"Jason?" she whispered, ghosting her fingers over my bare chest.
"Did this," she took a deep breath, "does this mean anything?" she asked. I wanted to say no. I wanted to lie. But I couldn't.
"Of course it did."
"Are we... together again?" again. It all came back. I love her so much but she causes too much pain. I let my head fall heavy on my pillow.
"I can't Gwen. I'm sorry. I love you but," I trailed off. Her face fell and she nodded.
"It's ok Jase, this was just a fix...You're allowed to have those." she smiled sadly and rested her head above my heart again.
"And your name, remains the same,
all that's changed is that pretty face.
So pull the trigger, it never get's closer,
you want to start over but never start over."
I guess I just attract cheaters. I just got back from my date with ice girl. Lucy. I've been with her for three months only to find out she never broke up with Peace.
She was leaned against my side in the booth at "La Tua Cantante". The Italian place that opened up about a month ago. It was a popular place. For now.
"Lash do you wanna split the lasagna with me? The platter is pretty big." she asked.
"Sure." I smiled. I looked at her bright blue eyes and ran my fingers through her waist length, platnum blonde hair. She smiled that angelic smile of her's that drove me crazy. I leaned in and pressed my lips to her's gently. A soft voice whispered that this was similar to my first kiss with Gwen but I ignored it.
I pulled away and rested my forehead against her's.
"Lucy I..." a deep voice cut me off.
"Lucy what are you doing?" Warren Peace asked. I turned to glare at him.
"We're on a date if you don't mind." I snapped.
"They're dating. Of course he would mind." the purple girl snapped back.
"Da..." I looked at Lucy, "Dating? You're still dating Warren Peace?"
"Uh-um...well..." she stuttered. I laughed humorlessly and stood up.
"We're done." I said.
"Wait Lash don't..." I held up my hand to cut her off.
"I've dated a cheater before and I'll be damned if I let you walk over me too." I said coldly.
"You might as well leave Lucy. We're through." Warren fumed. She got up and ran out of the entrance.
Shaking my head, I took out my wallet, dropped a few bills on the table and turned towards Peace.
"Look man," he shook his head.
"No need." I gave him a thankful look and walked out.
Now, I'm staring at my cell phone before pushing the call button. It rang a few times then,
"Hey!" I could hear her smile.
"Are you...are you dating anyone?" I asked biting my lip.
"No. I'm single." I took a deep breath.
"The night we broke up... Do you remember your promise?"
An: eh..not my best but review?