If there's more typos or mistakes than usual this chapter, I'm very sorry. I just got a new laptop (which likely means I'll be updating more, yay!) and I'm still getting used to the keyboard.
Please bear with me, haha. Another note about updating- I finally figured out exactly how this story is going to end. I'm probably going to have about 14-15 chapters. After I'm done, I'll probably start some other fic, although I'm thinking about trying another fandom. Perhaps FMA. I don't know, haha!
By the way, I would just like to say thank you very much for all of the reviews/favourites/alerts. It makes my heart leap every single time I receive an email from , and I would just like to express how happy it makes me that all of you take the time to read my writing. I love you!
Enough mushy stuff, onto the chapter! Lulz
Chapter 8: Reunions
Syaoran scuffed his foot against the dirt grouchily; I began to wonder why. What was wrong with him all of a sudden? He'd been fine the whole car ride! Perhaps it was Yukito? No, it couldn't be. Actually, it could...
"I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr. Syaoran, if I may call you that." Yukito bowed in a polite demeanour. I watched his silver hair fall into his face as he stood up straight. His lips curled into a smile and I turned back at Syaoran. He glanced at me, although only for a moment - I wasn't sure if I should quiver in fear or start crying. If looks could kill, I would've dropped dead. I coughed. Awkward much?
"So, uh..." I felt uncomfortable, unsure if I should shed some light onto the situation, but I didn't know what I was supposed to say, or whom to. I got the feeling Yukito had become offended at Syaoran's periodic glares and grunts, but it was the glares and grunts that had me worried. "Um, Syaoran- Yukito is actually, he's my, uh," I choked out words, and from the way it sounded I wasn't going to form a proper sentence anytime soon. So then Yukito, as if to save the day, did.
"I was Sakura's late brother's best friend, among other titles." Syaoran cocked an eyebrow out of surprise, and I sighed. Was it just me, or had it suddenly become even more awkward? Yukito looked down at me with the same grin of his I'd missed for so long, although it didn't ease the atmosphere the way it used to.
I know I've said that I've only ever had a few crushes before, and I guess it was true to an extent...but I've been head over heels for Yukito Tsukishiro from the moment I met him. That is also saying something because I was seven at the time.
I've neglected to speak of Yukito because my 'crush' is still sort of a soft spot for me, and kind of embarrassing. It was right after mom passed when Toya brought a friend from school over to help babysit me; I'd been expecting that Toya's friend would be just as much of a jerk as he was, and as soon as the two walked into the door I huffed brattishly. Toya scowled me for being rude, but when the strange silver haired boy knelt down just to smile at me face-to-face, I was sold. Before even knowing his name, I had decided who I was going to marry.
Now usually, pre-pubescent school girl crushes last anywhere around five hours to five weeks. But not my love for Yukito; I had my heart set on him. He and Toya became best friends, which meant Yukito was over at the apartment a lot, even after we moved across town. Soon enough, I made it my goal to know everything about him. I knew of Yukito's odd food obsession, his favourite sport, whether or not he had a girlfriend. The more I got to know him over the years, my crush morphed into something bigger. I tried my best to hide it, but Toya never neglected teasing me about it. I just couldn't help myself! Yukito was so kind and good-hearted, and not to mention the personification of gorgeous.
Perfect, in itself, cannot really be defined. Nobody in the history of the world has ever been perfect, and before you throw that Jesus crap at me, I'll let you know I never believed in religion. But, thanks to some very stimulating hormones, Yukito Tsukishiro, in my mind, was perfect (for me, anyway).
Fast forward a few years; Toya and Yukito are heading off to college. I was devastated when I found out they wouldn't both be attending Tokyo U, and that Yukito was heading out of town. A few nights before he left, Yukito hugged me for the first time. He whispered into my ear that he'd visit as much as possible and that I shouldn't be afraid to put Toya in his place if he kept calling me monster.
Surprisingly, even though I didn't see him as often, my feelings for Yukito didn't fade. He stopped by every few weeks, and he always brought some sort of weird food product we couldn't get in the city. He was always welcomed into our home though, which was nice. I guess you could really say that Yukito has been a part of the family since the moment him and Toya became friends.
After Toya and Yuki graduated from college, they moved into an apartment together close to mine and Dad's. After that, they would always be over to the apartment, and when they weren't, I would be over to theirs.
The afternoon of the accident, Toya had been helping Dad with groceries. Yukito hadn't come because he had a cold.
I had expected that Yukito would take me in after they died, but for some reason when Monoke (A/N: neighbour lady if you don't remember) asked him he refused. This had confused me, but I barely remember exactly how I felt because those few weeks are still a blur. Anyway, the last time I ever saw Yukito was at Toya and Dad's funeral. Which is sort of baffling, because I have no idea why he was here now.
"Well, that's nice." Syaoran hissed with heavy sarcasm. I knew this wasn't going anywhere good; I looked at Yukito pleadingly, and he smiled. We stood in silence a moment, until Syaoran mumbled something about heading inside, and I watched him shuffle past us quickly. He slammed the door behind him.
"Ahem," I coughed awkwardly, and then Yukito burst out laughing. What on earth? I peeked up at him and it was like he couldn't stop. He clutched his stomach and hurled up giggles (A/N: sounds sexy huh? Hurled up giggles. Haha. ). "Are you alright?" I asked and he forced himself to stop. "He's a nice boy," Yukito smiled even bigger, if possible, and I raised an eyebrow. I seemed to have forgotten how confusing Yukito could be. Speaking of confusing, why on earth was he here? Why after so long?
I crossed my arms, trying to look serious. "Why are you here?" I forced myself to sound stern, but it came out sounding sort of like a whimpering puppy. Yukito bent down to look at me face to face, and a smile escaped my lips. Darn it, so much for stern and serious.
"I just missed you is all, Sakura." Yukito clutched my hand. I almost felt my legs break; with Yukito so close I could smell his after shave. Wow.
Before you start spazzing out on me, yes, I do realize this is suspicious. Yukito refused to see me after Toya died, and all of a sudden he just missed me? However, Yukito has always been a good person, and there's no legitimate reason for anyone to question his motives. There's no way I could just start throwing accusations at him for no reason! Right?
"So what do you say we spend the day together tomorrow? I saw an aquarium just outside of town on the way here. We could go if you don't have plans..?" Yukito said with heavy enthusiasm. I knew for a fact that Yukito was a fan of sea world and other such attractions. Without thinking twice, I accepted the chance to go out on a 'date' Yukito (yes, I realize he's in his twenties and I'm only sixteen. I can only dream). "Of course!" I grinned. "Awesome!" Yukito exclaimed while standing up straight. "They have free ice cream, too!"
I sighed; of course food would be involved.
Yukito hugged me once more before gliding across the lawn. He bid goodbye as he yelled that he would be over to get me at around 9AM. I watched him get into his car across the street, and as I waved to him I forgot about the plans I'd made with the brown eyed boy watching from the basement window.
When I woke the next morning at 7AM, my eyelids felt like a thousand pounds. Insomnia had kicked in - I'd been tossing and turning the whole night- probably brought on from the excitement of seeing Yukito the next morning. Would it be weird? It probably wouldn't, it hadn't been the night before (that is, after Syaoran left). Why would it change? There were lots of answers I could use for this, but my palms were getting sweaty just at the thought.
I got ready as fast as I could, which was a stupid thing to do because by the time I was finished it was no later than quarter after. Fuck, I thought. What was I supposed to do in the meantime?
I ended up gathering thoughts about Yukito more, which ended up making my palms soaking wet! However, I was too busy imagining Yukito and I on our first 'date', confessing our undying love for each other to notice, though. I know it sounds pathetic, but what was I supposed to do? Yukito was the only thing I ever liked about my old life besides Toya and Dad. Now that he was back, I felt almost like I was grasping back onto the comfort I once had.
When the long anticipated knock on the door finally came, it was 8:58. I jolted out of my bed, eager to be the first at the door. How embarrassing would it be if Hanako answered the door? In her ratty, practically see through nightgown, no less?
I threw open the door, almost too drastically because Yukito nearly fell inside when the door jagged open. He looked shocked, but he was smiling no doubt. I grinned.
"Hi!" I said giddily, knowing that I sounded more like the bimbos in Tokyo I dreaded more than ever. Yukito didn't seem to care, because his lip curl didn't break. "You ready to go?" He asked, looking me up and down. "Yep! I just got to let Hanako know I'm leaving," I even surprised myself that I'd managed to remember that I should tell Hanako I wouldn't be at the house all day. After I'd got in the house last night, I was in such a daze that I ignored her pleas and questionnaire about the cute boy who asked to wait on the veranda until I'd got home.
I found some paper and a pen and scribbled that I was going to the aquarium and that'd I'd be home by dinnertime. I even squiggled a heart right before I signed my name (all of these lovey-dovey thoughts about Yuki were really making me act weird, huh?).
After I got into Yukito's car, I was overwhelmed with the all too familiar scent of my brother, even almost seven months after he left. I couldn't quite describe the feeling it gave me, whether I enjoyed the smell or I became depressed over it, I didn't know. Once Yukito had the engine running, he grinned at me yet again. I sighed and smiled back, still unsure of what was to come.
During the drive to the aquarium, Yukito asked me about life in Tomoeda and how I liked it. I told him it was alright, and that I think I might've been making friends for the first time. This he was ecstatic over, and couldn't express enough enthusiasm. He prompted me to tell him about as much as I could about the Rush Hour crew, so I tried my best. I made sure to mention Eriol's acrophobia, Meilin's snacking obsession and Tomoyo's bedroom walls. I didn't say much about Syaoran, except that he lived with Hanako. I lied and said I didn't know much about him. I still have no clue why I did this.
When I asked about Yukito's life back in Tokyo, he seemed uneasy. I then shut up, because obviously it was a touchy subject. I wondered what it was like living alone in the apartment they used to share. Had he moved? Did he ever think about it? I didn't have the guts to ask.
After at least an hour of driving, we finally got to the aquarium. It hadn't been open long, so there weren't very many people. We parked in an open space, and made our way inside.
"Wow that was fantastic! I've never seen so many awesome fish before!" Yuki gleamed, while pulling out a dining chair for me. It was around 1:30PM, and we took a break from fish-seeing to eat at the in-aquarium diner, which was partly because of my begging. It was extremely odd behaviour for Yukito to not want to eat, but I guess the fish were making him distracted.
"And I can't believe more than half are native to these oceans! You're so lucky Sakura that you live in a beach town," Yuki commented, situating himself in his own seat across from me. On impulse I rolled my eyes, a habit whenever someone compliments Tomoeda. I've been getting better at it, however this time it slipped. Yukito didn't seem to notice, because he kept blabbing (about speckled fish or something). I was only half-listening, because I had my eyes concentrated on a waiter two tables away.
I jumped in my seat when another waiter, err waitress actually, approached our table on the other side. In a bored voice she asked what we wanted, and Yukito began to spiel about three quarters of the things on the menu. I admired him as I waited for him to finish.
"Also, some of your wonderful complimentary ice cream!"
I laughed as I ordered, giddy by his enthusiasm about frozen milk product. I ordered a burger, and then the waitress asked if I wanted some ice cream too. "Yes, she does!" Yukito grinned, and the woman just chuckled under her breath. "I'll be back in a minute," she said as she took away our menus and left.
We sat in silence for a moment. Yukito then rested his chin on his hand, and gazed in my direction. I avoided his eyes, unsure of what he was thinking. What was he thinking?
"You really are something, you know." He revealed, and I twitched. My head whipped back in his direction. "W-what?"
"The guy who gets you is going to be extremely lucky," Yukito spoke quieter this time, almost in a whisper. I probably wouldn't have heard him if I wasn't concentrating.
People surrounded us, enveloped in laughter and sound. Every other table in the diner was completely alive, and ours remained silent. I couldn't stand it, but I didn't have the right words. Here he was, the love of my life, talking about how lucky a guy would be to have me, whereas if he asked, in a second I'd be in his arms.
The waitress returned with our drinks, and Yukito began to sip his nonchalantly.
The image of us together became center of my mind. The world around me slowed, as I stared at Yukito. The thought of me and him stuck; every possibility wavering in its potential reality. Most of them were dreamland-esque, which was probably why they drove me to do it.
My throat cleared of all clogging, and I all of a sudden didn't feel nervous anymore. I couldn't sense the sweatiness of my palms.
"Yukito, I love you!"
Yukito peered up at me, with a sense of knowing in his eyes.
It was that moment when all of that confidence fell away into oblivion.
I could tell, just from his expression. Yukito knew.
He placed his water on the table and swallowed. His calm face was soft and sweet, and as his lips curled ever-so slightly, although not in amusement or pity. The humiliation was dawning onto me. I felt my face burn, and to hide my face I looked down. The last bit of fearlessness that remained seemed to creep its way out of my mouth.
"I...always have. Ever since the day we first met."
"No! You were always one of the people who understood me, Yukito. You were kind to me when nobody else was. I've fell in love with you because of that!"
Yukito's facial expression changed completely. His eyes fell sad, and I had absolutely no idea what was coming next. He stared at his lap, with his head held down. He appeared shamed, although there was no reason why he should.
"I don't want to seem like I'm talking down to you when I say this, Sakura. You are no less of an adult than I am, and I want you to know that. However, hear me out when I say that you aren't in love with me."
Those words cut like a knife.
"Sakura, can you honestly tell me that I crossed your mind more than once since you've moved here?"
Those words felt like acid rain.
"If you were truly in love with me," Yukito looked back at me now. I gasped quietly; he had moisture filling up his eyes. "I would be on your mind every second. I would never leave your thoughts. I would always be there, whether you're awake or in your dreams. I would remain in your heart, well after I've... gone. I would be the person you turn to for everything, because your desperate need for my presence is indescribable. You'd have this constant need to make me happy, and even if I was, you would still feel like it wasn't good enough... because nothing," Yukito inhaled and exhaled. I could tell he was desperately trying to hold it back. The sadness was welling up inside, and I couldn't do a thing. "Nothing would be good enough for me."
The sight of tears falling down Yuki's porcelain face almost brought me to the same situation. While my utter confusion was overloaded, I only wanted to comfort him. Whether I was in love or not.
"Sakura. Even if you do like me, I cannot accept your confession. There's somebody else I'm in love with, and while I can't even be with them, that doesn't change anything,"
I was in shock. Yukito was in love with somebody? But how? When? He only ever spent time with Toya. He was only ever with Toya.
Then it all made sense.
"You're in love with my brother, aren't you?" I asked, in a soft voice. Yukito sniffed (cutely, I'll add, but that's a little inappropriate considering the situation) and let a smile slip. While it was not a huge smile, I could tell it was honest.
Then, he told me everything.
I don't really know why I never saw it before. Toya and Yukito were always together, happily in their own world. They laughed and sang together while doing pretty much everything. The little things, such as making dinner for one another or a slight touch of the hand. My brother and his best friend were in love.
Afterwards, Yukito explained to me that my father knew of his and Toya's relationship, but they decided not to let me know because everybody was aware of my feelings for Yuki (I'm very unobvious, aren't I?) and they thought it might hurt my feelings. Yukito also explained that the reason why he never wanted to see me after Toya died was because he knew that when he saw me he'd just see Toya, and at the time he said he was just as much of a wreck as I was. I couldn't possibly see the image of Yukito lying in bed all day, doing nothing but cry, hour after hour, like he said. But what happened, happened.
After our talk, we ate quickly and decided to go home. It was already almost 3, and with afternoon traffic it'd take way longer to get back.
Surprisingly enough, on the way back it wasn't awkward at all. I didn't feel the need to impress Yukito anymore, and we just talked. We reminisced about all of the good times. While it was hard for the both of us, we knew that we just needed to speak about it. Yukito told stories about Toya he'd never told, such as the first time Toya tried to make a special anniversary dinner and almost burnt the apartment down. I laughed at the thought, and it wasn't weird for me to imagine my brother desperately trying to cook for his boyfriend and failing.
As soon as we arrived back at Hanako's, it was quarter to 5. I stretched as I proceeded to take off my seatbelt. Yukito was already out of the car, opening the door for me when I finished. After I got out, we stood for a moment. Then, Yukito grasped onto me. He held me close, and I closed my eyes.
I didn't feel a yearning for him, or a deep sadness. I felt nothing but friendship and love.
"You keep your chin up, okay Sakura?" he whispered, and I nodded slowly. "You're doing great here, I can tell. You are so much happier."
I chuckled at the thought, but kept it to myself. Perhaps I was happier.
Yukito let go, and grinned hugely. "Also, that Syaoran boy totally loves you."
"Eh?" I squeaked in embarrassment. "What are you saying? Who told you that?" I plead. Yukito just laughed, and told me that it was obvious, but I shouldn't worry about it. "Just let things flow, it'll work out."
He squeezed me quickly once more, then bid his goodbye. "I'll visit again soon. I promise. I really do miss you, Sakura." He said, and I nodded. "I miss you too, Yuki."
He slid into his car and drove off. I stood on the curb for a moment, before I ran back inside because the mosquitos were attacking me.
Preview for next chapter:
Hanako asks Sakura to run a quick errand back to Rush Hour before closing time. She accepts, but accidentally overhears a conversation between Meilin, Eriol and Tomoyo she probably shouldn't. Syaoran likes Sakura? What's this about him asking her out to his birthday?
Read along as the plot thickens in chapter 9.
GAAAAH! This chapter took the longest ever! I don't know why, but Yukito was pretty boring to write. Even while I seriously love him and his character, but I made him completely OOC and kind of annoying (gomenasai! gomen, gomen, gomen!). I tried to make the love confession as emotional as possible, but it turned out like crap. I'm so sorry. But the chapters from here on end are going to be fantastic, I promise. Don't give up on me just yet. Please, haha.
Review! I live for them! Days to write... seconds to review... ~!