The anime Eyesheild 21 is not my anime.

I don't care if if my story isn't how the anime goes.

- = lasp in time


Since freshman year I've been worried. Worried about grades, about clubs, but never about boys. I'm always so busy attending to the disiplinary committee or getting high scores on all my test that the faceless men that passed through the same halls I did never stood out. As my friends looked through horoscopes, discovering when they should make their move on the opposite sex I just sat and poored over my homework. It wasn't until my second year that I started to notice anyone.

Sena has been my best friend, my little brother, for as long as I can remember. From back in grade school when I was saving him from bullies, to high school on that first day when the devils from the football club came and threw him around I was there. He's such a small, sweet boy that I never imagined anything happening between us. I knew I was just like a mother hen protecting her chick from the dangerous cyotes, but I didn't think Sena would be able to go on without me. I didn't want to think about the day he walked away from me and into the belly of the beast. I wanted to protect him from the harsh outside world. I wanted him to stay in my bubble. My shield. But he found his way out.

I want to go back to that first day. To relive it. And maybe you can see where my pain starts, and his ends. I saw him through the crowd (Not his head of course, but his hair) and feverently waved to make sure he took notice of me standing next to the huge board filled with names. His number was twenty one. I'll never forget that number. And when I found it I was so happy I started to cry. That was the happiest momment of the day. I had my chick back in my nest, and now all I had to do was mother him until he could fend for himself, walk on his own. Or in Sena's case, run.

It was much later when I heard of the bullies picking a fight on Sena. I was furious, and as a member of the disiplinary committee I wanted to suspend them, or worse. The only good part of that day was that Sena found Kurita. Kurita was a new friend for Sena, a person that wouldn't throw him around or make him do things that required Sena to run so much he was exhausted. I was happy Sena found Kurita, but not happy that he found Hiruma.

Hiruma is the devil. I've hated him since freshman year. When I first came to the home of the Devil Bats, Hiruma wasn't the scary antagoizer he is today. No, he was a small freshman with bright, blonde hair that stuck out in so many directions it was hard to see where it all ended. He was picked on endlessly and teased beyond that. It was only when he joined that football team that he became a monster. With the help of the two other members of the football club, Hiruma started to snoop. To pick up little pieces of information on every first, second, and third year he could find. Hiruma was spiteful and resonabley so, but he used his information to blackmail and scam people into doing his bidding. Even the principal is under the spell of Hiruma's black book. With the dirt he has on the disciplinary committee we can't touch him. As he advanced a year, so did his height- by five years. He shot up to six foot and towered over the rest of the student body. His limbs became impossibley stretched and elongated that he looked like a glorified tooth pick with scattered muscels trailing down his lankey arms. With this new level of intimidation he became an untouchable entity. Like a God. Only with pointy hair and teeth.

When Sena met Hiruma, I could feel my binds on Sena become loose. I walked with Sena that night and gave him my number to put in his new cell phone. I knew I'd be the only one in his contacts and I felt the binds become tighter. I needed to watch over Sena. Make sure he never left my comfortable bubble. I was scared. When will I tie the bonds too tight? When will they snap?

Something about Hiruma made me want to stare at him. I first felt it when we were sitting on the train coming home from the Cupid's game. It felt like if I took my eyes off of him for a momment he would disappear and then reappear with someone's head, or arm. He had the look of the delinquent but the smarts of a scholar. Sitting across from him I mentally took him in. I brought him into my bubble- wanted him there so I could keep a close eye on him. He sat there, looking relaxed, with his arms resting behind him on the seat and his legs crossed infront of him. I took in what he was wearing. A tight black shirt stretched across his lightly toned chest and then softly loosening at it went down his torso. His arms were exposed, showing the effects of morning and afternoon training plus a game. There was slight traces of dirt running down his forearms and bruises on his hands. His claw like fingers were draped carelessly over the tops of the seats next to him and I watched as they twitched when the train lurched- like he was ready at a moments notice. His black pants were tight, and pressed, opening up only slightly at the bottom to lay relaxed over his black pointed shoes that were shined to perfection. They covered his long legs in a way to make them look impossibly longer. By the time I was finished examining him, he was looking at me, with his large toothy grin. I realized he was sizing me up as well. He was what made me join the football club. Sure, Sena's safety was one of my priorities, but I didn't want to stop looking at Hiruma. I couldn't. Every time he flashed me a toothy smile my eyes would widen followed by my mouth would hang in a big "O" shape. No, I could never stop looking at Hiruma.

On that train ride home I decided to join the club. Not just for Hiruma, but for Sena too. Atleast, that's what I told myself. I'd go to every practice, every game, and make sure my hen wasn't going to make a break for it.

I started to feel the pain the next day. When Hiruma walked into our clubs little shed, my stomach hurt. My heart started to beat faster and my throat closed, like I've been parched for days. It felt weird and I thought I was going to be sick. I quickly regretted scarfing down all of those cream puffs. I had no idea that the sight of Hiruma would make me ill. I looked over at Sena. He was happy. Staring up at Hiruma, almost admiring him. I felt a different pain now. My heart slowed and I felt the pain burn slowly. Sena was over me protecting him. He seemed to want to protect himself. I felt useles. I wanted to run out of that shed and back into a classroom to loose myself in a textbook. But I couldn't move. I looked up and saw Hiruma, his eyes booring into me. That same toothy grin spread over his long face. My heart started up again, flushing away the pain of loosing Sena. I don't know why, but I smiled back at Hiruma.

"What are you doing here woman?" Hiruma asked increduously. I watched his head wip around and take in the new shed. I decided the old one didn't have enough spirit so I spent the whole week searching for cheap paint and decorations to make it more... Homey. My entire free period was dedicated to making this place sparkle with spirit.

I stared daggers in his direction. "What do you mean 'what are you doing here'?" I left off the degrading 'woman' part. "I'm the manager! I can be here whenever I so please." I turned around smirked in his direction. With the force of the movement came my light red hair. My bangs grew past my cheeks as the football season went on. I never bothered to get it cut. From what I could see through my hair, Hiruma looked amused.

"You should really get a hair cut." Hiruma mused, "I wouldn't want the only female around here to look like a shaggy dog!" He laughed his 'ya-ha' laugh and sat down in the one comfortable chair in the whole shed- the one for me I brought from home. I could taste my anger. I quickly finished hanging up the last, "Go Devil Bats!" banner and sat down on the opposite end of the strategizing table. I wouldn't take my eyes off him. I couldn't. It was the day of a home game and he wore his jersey over his black pants. It hung loosely over his broad shoulders and tightened over his chest to end below his hips. He sat diagonally at the table so his long legs could stretch out infront of him and slightly fold. His shoes were black and shined so I could see my own reflection in them. I saw my medium length reddish hair hanging around my face, slightly curling when it reached the end. My face was clear, even though I've been working all morning. My eyes were a bright blue and, at the moment, widened in suprise on how nice I looked today. My face was round, with full pink lips. I was wearing the issued school uniform without the jacket and I'd unbuttoned the top buttons of the shirt to make working a bit easier. Move manuverability and sweating room in loose close. I looked from his shoes to his face. My heart didn't utter one beat. I couldn't breathe. It felt.. oddly nice to be strangled by his face. Every angle of his harsh face, the slight curve of his amused lips, and his delicately angled eyes made me want to stay there and just look.

Only a minute passed when my silent mental exam was over. I looked at his face and he looked at mine. I watched him slowly turn his agile body towards mine, but with a table between us I knew he couldn't have noticed the sudden speed increase of my heart. I wanted him to keep coming towards me. This table was an obstacle. I watched him fold his arms across his chest and lean foward, so his arms rested against the table. He extended his arms out infront of him, and without taking his eyes off mine, laid his chin on his arms. More seconds passed. I wondered where Kurita and Sena were. I needed them here to end this physical tension. I wanted to look around the room, analyze my handiwork, but every time I tried to redirect my focus, I'd come back down on Hiruma's eyes.

This is it. I thought. Hiruma is going to kill me. I'm going to die. Right now he's going through the ways inwhich to kill me and make it seem like an accident. This accusation made sense at the time. Why else would he look at me like that? I watched him turn his head and burrow his face in his arms. I tensed, waiting for him to spring. But nothing happened. I waited, and watched his shoulders rise and fall with breathing.

I was suddenly calm. I listened as his breathing escalated in to small snores, and then ear splitting ones. I guess when you spend all morning practicing and all afternoon terroizing people you can get pretty tired by free period. I laughed an airy laugh and quietly moved my chair around the table closer to his. I blame this entirely on my mothering instinct. The back of my head screamed at me to move away, to run out and come back later when there were witnesses, but my heart rooted me to my chair. To this shed. I wasn't moving. Because now, I could stare at him all I wanted.

I laid my head on my arms right infront of his face. It was confusing to me as I did it but it felt natural. The first thing I noticed was how peaceful he was. His eyes relaxed and I could see no sign of malice in them as I could before. His mouth was slack as it let out the noise of his snores. His pointy right ear was pressed firmly into his right arm and I could see the small shimmers of his earings peaking out through the small gap. I let my eyes wander to his other ear, sticking out a bit too far from his head with it's point noticeably coming through his golden hair. His earrings on that ear lay the way he did, and almost brushed against his chin line. I reached out my hand to touch them. They were so pretty, made of pure silver no doubt, and probably stolen, but I needed to touch them. To feel their cold metal against my fingers and maybe even let my hand run up the length of his long ear, and then back down to caress his sleeping face.

My hand lurched forward and at that momment I realized this was all really stupid. I stayed lying on left arm, my hair a pillow between my bare arm and my left ear. I snapped back into reality but didn't sit up. I was too tired. I'd been spending so much energy on this football team I didn't have any left to spare to pull me out of my seat. My hand twitched on the table. I watch it make my mental and physical struggle to stay planted on the 40 yard line. Only then did I realize I had feelings for Hiruma. I had thoughts about the evil devil who sat next to me. And I liked them. I wanted them. My heart seemed to scream his name. I didn't want to face the fact that the sickness I felt in my stomach was a deep feeling for the pointy haired miscreant. I needed to look at him, to touch him, to feel for him. He wasn't like my little hen Sena. He was so much more.

I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift to places that my body couldn't go. I pictured him in as many ways as I could. From torturing Sena through drills, to throwing the football with scary accuracy into a waiting reciever. My heart fluttered and I sighed. I wanted him to be mine. Though, I figured I'd have no competition because no female would ever want to hook up with anyone as scary as Hiruma. But then again, why did I? I hated him. Loathed him to my very core. Inspite of all my hate I still wanted to open my eyes and look at him. I opened my sleepy eyes and the first thing I noticed was my hand. It wasn't on the forty yard line. I looked up and saw my hand father down, at the twenty, holding Hiruma's. I was speechless. I just stared at my hand laced with Hiruma's long claws. It looked nice. It felt nice. But how the hell did it happen? I mental traced through the past couple of minutes. I mean, it has only been a couple of minutes right? I looked at the clock. It was half past two. I'd slept through the rest of the day without realizing it. I mentally cursed and started to get up- there was a slight tug on my right hand. Hiruma was awake now, looking at me as if I'd just killed his new puppy and was looking for revenge. I cringed away from his glare, a reflex, only then realizing the hurt in his eyes. Why did he look hurt? What did I do?

I looked in his eyes for a long time. He didn't say anything. It seemed like eons, but it was only a few seconds and he let my hand go and buried his face into his arms. The absense of his hand instantly made me sad. Like I was missing something. I pulled my hand close to my chest and held it by the wrist, looking at it thoughtfully. Why? I thought. The sound of Hiruma's snoring pulled me back into reality. He had fallen asleep again, like nothing ever happened. And maybe nothing did...

Ever since that day I didn't look at Hiruma the same. It wasn't a subtle curiosity now, it was full on "What the hell?". I took in every movement he did and analyzed it, the reanalyzed it. Looking for that same Hiruma I found in the clubhouse. My hand has felt heavy since that day. I stopped worrying about homework. All mundane school activies took barely any focus to complete, and I was too wrapped around Hiruma to notice any passing of time. Every free period Hirums would fall asleep in the shed and I would sit as far away from him as possible and watch him. I'd listen to him snore. I'd do everything but go anywhere near him. I tried to sit near him, once, and the pull I felt towards him was too unsettling. So, I just sat and watch.

This became routine, his sleeping and my watching. It was like old hat after about a week. But one day, my monotiny stopped.

"What are you looking at?" Hiruma asked in a sleepy voice. My concentration snapped back to the present, away from my day dreaming.

"W-Who?" I asked, stuttering a little. I pointed to myself."Me? Nothing. Why do you ask?" I attempted to shrugg nonchantly and failed. His face rose slowly from his arms too look at me. His eyes ran across my face.

"Yeah, you." He sounded annoyed, "You keep looking at me. Every day. I'm really sick of it." He spit on the floor. I inwardly cringed at cleaning it up.

"Anyone would stare." I said quickly. I've been practicing what I'd say if he woke up. "You snore like a banshee." I smirked at him, thinking I'd won.

I didn't. He grinned his crazy toothy grin before saying, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you liked looking at me." I froze. He noticed. Damn his good observational skills. But I have good skills too, I saw the glimmer of hope in his eyes and I got confident. How could he know about my fascination. "So," he asked and I lost all of my cool persona. "Why haven't you tried to touch me again?" I gasped. He saw me try that? So long ago? Was he not actually sleeping. He grinned and held up his clawed hand. The same one I held that day. "I have to admit, I was shocked you liked holding my hand." I shot up out of my chair and made for the door. I was too embaressed to think of a comeback. I just know I wanted to leave there as soon as possible. He was wearing my favorite outfit- His school uniform button down with half of the top buttons undone showing his toned chest and those tight black pants with the impossibley shiney shoes. I wouldn't be suprised if he know that it was my favorite by the way he laughed at my reaction.

I huffed and continued to the door. My vision was red, with a hint a blue. An overwhelming sadness to follow up with my anger. Not only did this prove he knew my secret, but he obviously had no good feelings towards me. All those thoughts of something more with him, something nice and special, were gone. Only pain and sadness remained in my heart that used to be so full of admiration. I was two feet from the door when suddently Hiruma was right infront of me. How did he get there so fast? Were all of those drills making him that impossibley quick? Or was I storming out that slow? Either way I couldn't reason. His face was stern, as if his mind were set on something and he was thinking of ways to do it. I shuddered thinking about what he was going to do. Get out the megaphone and tell everyone? Keep this information in his black book and keep it to taunt me with? Or just shun me for the rest of my high school career. My shoulders relaxed and slightly slouched forward. All of my anger was gone. I fought back any sign of defeat, embaressment, or lost love. I just stood there, looking at him with eyes that surely lacked any hatred. And he looked down at me.

I've never noticed boys before, but at this momment Hiruma seemed very, very much there. Has he always been that tall? Yeah. He has. Has he always looked at me like this? No, I think not. Instead of angry eyes that I'd expect from such a stern expression, they were burning. I almost took a step back in my suprise, but before I could even think of moving his arm snaked around my waist. I felt myself be hoisted foward, towards Hiruma. Closer to those burning eyes. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what he wanted me to do, be scared? In my confusion I put my hands out in front of me and laid them on his chest. I thought I was going to push him away, but instead my fingers curled and took the fabric of his loose shirt. I felt my arms pull him towards me. What was I doing? What did I plan to do? My mind swam in possiblities but my vision was clouded by the irresistable smell of whatever cologne Hiruma must use. It smelled like fresh cut grass and earthy wood. It drifted from him, making it impossible to think clearly. Was this part of his trick? Bury me in my own desires? I knew what I wanted. I wanted Hiruma to pull me closer. To run his thin fingers down my face and trace them across my lips. I wanted him to hold my face in his hand and the other squeeze my waist so hard I could feel the claw-like nails press into my skin. Then I would know if he wanted me. Wanted me like I suddenly wanted him.

Suddenly he let me go. My hands released his shirt. I fell with a slight thud back to earth. My feet were firmly placed on the ground- no longer suspended slightly in the air as if reaching towards something. My heart was flying. My breathing was so heavy I thought I'd pass out. But I wouldn't fall. Hiruma's hand was pressed lightly against the small of my back, as if holding me up, making sure I wouldn't fall into the table next to us. I was very aware of him now. I could still smell him. I could see where my hands held his shirt with such passion, such wanting. I soon realized why he let me go so abruptly. I heard too clearly the pounding steps of team mate Kurita. I was suddenly thankful for his enormous weight. It would have been embaressing to have someone walk in on a scene like that. I glanced up at Hiruma then, relief written all over my face I'm sure, and he looked back down at me and smiled.

It wasn't a smile that was used when he was being a prick. It wasn't a smile that was used when he knew he'd won, and was gloating. It was a genuine smile. He was happy. I gasped again and he took that momment to lean down and kiss me. It was small. It was a light peck. It was enough. My heart flew. It escaped my chest and flew up, and up, and when it reached the roof it flew through it- with such speed and velocity I wondered when it would come back down. I felt dizzy. Hiruma then quickly set me down in the same chair he was in, removing his hand from my back to do so. I sat down and breathed, suddenly grounded. Hiruma dashed across the shed just in time for Kurita to come in, bags of food in hand.

"Hey guys!" He said and put down his heavy load. He beamed brightly from the doorway.

"Hey fatso." Hiruma mummbled, pretending he was pooring over his black book. But I saw the smile in his eyes. I greeted Kurita too and helped him unpack the various baked goods he'd brought with him. Lucky for me, the cabniet we kept most of the food in was right next to Hiruma. When I was done stacking the cream puffs next to the cupcakes, I looked at Hiruma. He gave me a smirk and winked.

Things changed after that. First, football season ended. The shed was still open to anyone who wanted to come, but no one ever did. Just Hiruma and I during our free period. Every day I'd come in and he was already sitting there, waiting for me. The first day after he kissed me, he was standing next to the doorway, leaning against the wall. He took me by suprise and made me jump about five feet. He wore my favorite outfit again, only this time all the buttons were undone, to tease me no doubt. He waited until I put my books down to say anything.

I was facing the other way when he asked, "So, did you like it?" He asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. I analyzed that question. I decided to be a little smart.

"Like what?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. That was a bad idea. He was behind me then, one of his long arms wrapped around my waist and the other on my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. He put the other arm securely around the rest of my waist and lifted me slightly off the ground, my arms pinned to my sides. He put my face as close to his as he could manage without our lips touching. I was overwhelmed by his earthy smell and my brain instantly stopped thinking. I pulled my arms out of their hold and put my hands on his face. It was oddly smooth, and deliciously angular. His mouth was set into an amused smile as I ran my hands up his cheeks and rested them behind his neck. I traced as far down his back as I could before lightly touching his ears, starting with his cold earings to the delicate point. His hair tickled my hands and sent shivers through my body. When I looked at his face again, his eyes were closed. He was breathing as heavy as me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tracing his jaw line on the way. When my movement stopped, he opened his eyes. I could see my own expression in his.

We both exuded extreme levels of want. We lusted for eachother. We wanted to touch, to feel, to kiss. I didn't want to stop. My mouth parted and I breathed, "Hiruma." That was all it took. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It wasn't soft. His passion was so forceful. His mouth moved fast with mine. I could taste his sweet breath. I could feel my body tremble as his hands ran across my back and slowly untucked my button down shirt from my skirt. He played with the hem of my skirt before sending his hands up my shirt to my back. He traced circles with his claws on my smooth skin. I couldn't take it. I moved my hands from his neck to the inside of his own shirt. I ran my hands across his smooth chest. He shrugged off the fabric until his shirt draped from his wrists and left his chest bare. I broke the kiss to look at his perfection. In my pause he took the oportunity to unbutton my own shirt and take off the rest of his. He pulled down my skirt until it rested on my hips, unzipping the back and slowly pulling it all the way off.

I stepped out my skirt. In doing so, I had to take a step back from Hiruma. I saw the crazed want in his eyes, and could only assume I must look just like the crazed boy infront of me. My stomach swelled on the thought of any possibilities that might happen once he became as naked as I was. I felt my shirt hang loosely from my shoulders- my bra and panties still completely intact. I felt exposed. But I liked it. I wanted to show myself to Hiruma more. I wanted him to see how I've felt for months.I didn't have any time to think after that. Hiruma grabbed me by the waist and picked me up. He set me on the table top. I saw all the lines, all of the yard numbers. How many times have I looked at this table? It will never be innocent to me again. Hiruma didn't notice my observation. He was quickly taking off his own pants and helping me slip off my shirt. His greedy hands found my face and turned it to look at him. He looked irresistable to me. I didn't think about the table again.

He kissed me again. This time, his mouth was calmer, gentler on mine. I was greateful. My lips would be bruised tomorrow from the previous session. I felt him press into me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and used my arms to prop me up on the table, our chests touching. There were so many feelings, and I had no idea how to act on any of them. I just knew I didn't want him to stop kissing me. I wanted him to do more than kissing me. He must have read my thoughts then because he undid my bra swiftly with a clawed hand. I felt the flimsy thing snap and fall on the table. His hands did more than his lips. They felt so good. Even the slight pain from his claws felt oddly sensual. Like he was playfully nipping.

Then he stopped kissing me. I moaned in protest, but he made up for his lack of kisses. He moved his lips to my chest and kissed everything from my torso up. His lips trailed along my stomach, up my chest, and around any obstacle he could find. I moaned in pure pleasure. I'd never thought of this kind of contact before. It filled me up. The feeling in my stomach came back, and I realize now, I wasn't going to get sick, I was in love. I loved Hiruma. I loved his touch, his kiss, his face, his everything. Hiruma then moved up to kiss my neck. I twined my hands in his hair and forced his lips harder into my neck. I felt him pull at the skin there, felt his teeth graze across anything he kissed. I also felt my panties slip off with such practiced skill, I thought I'd imagined it.

I can't describe what I felt then. The kind of feeling that soared through me. It started with his long fingers. The hand that was not helping me balance was busy doing whatever he did to me that made me want to scream. I felt his two fingers first. They went deeper than I thought they could. I moaned and writhed against his body. Then I felt the slight prick of his claws. They felt like little stabs, but they felt better than his fingers. Whatever they touched made me want to scream. I wanted him to kiss me again. I didn't want to feel this way without him feeling the same thing. I pulled away from him to look at his eyes. They had the same lust in them, but I could see the glaze of happiness too. He was truely enjoying my reactions. Wether or not that was a sick and twisted joy, I'll never know. Then, I looked down. He had taken off his final layer of clothing somewhere along the way and I could tell how much he was enjoying this too.

I kissed him, for the first time. I was the one that started the kiss. It was slow, like a burning fire. In the midst of our burning kiss, Hiruma did something I'll never forget. I'll never forget the pain. When he put himself in me, I felt nothing but a horrible pain. I knew he knew of my pain when I stopped the molten kiss to lean back and moan. It was half pain, and half lust. I knew it would feel good. I just hand to give it time. He didn't care about my pain. He wanted me. He forced himself in me. I felt him grind into me. I liked the pain though. I moaned louder then, whispering his name after. I quickly wrapped my arms back around his neck, and breathed heavily into his pointed ear. I heard him laugh. Before I could wonder why, I was swept away by the feeling. I felt him move inside me. His harsh thrusts and his painful grinds. It was too much. The feeling in my stomach moved lower, lower than I thought it could and I felt a small fire burning. I was making all sorts of noises I'm sure. I just remember saying his name so many times, and so loudly my voice hurt. When I couldn't scream anymore I threw my head back. My eyes went blind. I still felt Hiruma having his way with me, but I also felt the most pleasure I ever had. My torso convulsed and my legs shook. I felt my toes go up towards the roof. I was lost in my own wonderful world and I didn't ever want to leave. I must have moaned really loud because Hiruma silenced me with a harsh kiss. I couldn't be quiet. I wasn't done yet.

When I could see again, Hiruma was still looking at me, still inside me. He breathed heavy and looked at me questionabley. My breathing echoed his. I felt warm. I felt something warm in me, but I didn't know what it was. I figured it was just the feeling of my first time, but when I looked down, I saw it. My legs were dripping with blood. I gaped at the mess I'd caused, but I also noticed something in the red. Something that didn't come from me. I looked up and realized Hiruma had came inside of me. All the warmth deep in me was Hiruma. I giggled. Good thing mom forced me on birth control when my acne got bad. I smiled at Hiruma.

I cleaned myself up using the sink and then slowly started to get dressed. I felt sore. Like if I walked any more than a few feet I'd have to sit down. He must have seen my legs begin to shake because he was behind me when I was fully dressed. His arm wrapped around my waist again and he nestled his face into my neck.

"That." He breathed, "How did you like that?" He teeth grazed my neck as he talked. I answered his question with another kiss. No, things would never be the same.