Again, Eyesheild isn't mine and I don't care if the story isn't anything like the anime or manga. Originality is key.
Also: You know, I used to write a lot of smexy scenes back when I was still a virgin. I have no idea how people believed all my made up crap about sex. It's not that glamorous. It's a lot of breathing, moving and bodily fluids.

Hiruma started to hold my hand more. After our intimate moment in the shed, he was more aware of me in private, but not in public. Now he slipped his fingers between mine and walked me to my classes. It wasn't like other high school relationships. Ours felt like it was so much more. I felt warm beyond my own understanding when he wanted to show affection towards me. I was elated. He made me happy.

So. This is when the pain started. I felt like a whore. I had been raised the honest way. The, "abstinence until marriage" way. I thought of my first time as being magical. Carefree. And a lot less violent. The pain of having Hiruma was worse than being with Hiruma. Every second I was afraid of loosing him. Only now did I see the lustful gazes from the rest of the female populous. Why didn't I notice it before? All the girls want the crazy, untouchable guy. Why do we all pine for the one man we think no one else wants? I frequently look at Hiruma. When we walk, when we're talking, when we're standing still. My eyes glance at his face, searching for the love and compassion that I feel. Behind closed doors that delicious Hiruma comes out of hiding and ravishes me in ways that would make a monk blush. I was sure he liked me beyond what I knew. Well. I guess I kind of knew. But he never said anything about his feelings towards me. And I didn't think he ever would. The only way to make sure he was still mine was to indulge his sexual desires. Not like I minded.

This realization clawed at me. Scratched my heart and left bleeding scars. What if he didn't really want me for anything else besides a warm bedside partner (even though we've never used a bed)? I wanted him to hold me more. To look at me more. But he wouldn't. I don't think I've pouted more in my life than at that moment walking out the back door to the shed during free period. Sure, we were walking together and he was holding my hand, but I wanted him to gaze down at me lovingly and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. But Hiruma wasn't like that. He'll never be like that. I was torn in two pieces. The piece that wants him to lustfully take me, and the piece that wants him to sweep me off my feet.

It, again, was routine. We closed the door and instantly he was stripping me naked, his mouth on mine. He pushed me into the door and hoisted me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. I was so lost in the thrill of the moment I forgot why I was sad. I forgot everything. I went blind again as he pushed into me, making me feel more than I've ever felt. It was only when we were done, him leaning against me crushing me into the door, that I remembered. I sighed a big sigh between my ragged breathing. He looked up from my chest to gaze at me with curious eyes. It wasn't the same sigh I usually do- one of contentment and loving.

"What?" He asked sounding concerned but mostly annoyed. I could pick out the emotions in his voice so well now. I sighed again and he set me on my shaky legs offering his hand for support, knowing how weak my legs get after. He stared at me. It was his 'I'm confused' stare but to everyone else he just looked pissed. In a harsh tone he asked, "What did I do Mamori?" He never says my name. He usually calls me, 'Stupid manager girl.'

"Hiruma..." I started, but then I had to stop. I looked at his face again. A flash of hurt when over his features until they went back to his frozen 'pissed off' face. He was really worried. "Stop worrying." I took both of his hands in mine and squeezed them. I smiled at him in an attempt to reassure and comfort but he wasn't easily pleased. He pulled the comfortable chair over from the table and sat down. He pulled me on his lap and propped my legs over the arm of the chair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I kissed him slowly, making sure to feel every point of his teeth. To flow with every curve of his mouth. When I pulled away I made a point to look preoccupied playing with one of his earrings. I heard his annoyed grunt.

"You're avoiding me." Hiruma wasn't easy to fool. He squeezed my shoulder and turned my face to his using his free hand. The hand on my face was soft and inviting. I leaned into his touch.

Finally I whispered, ""I love you." I felt the words flow from my throat without my noticing. I didn't want to say those words. But I needed to. How long has it been? Almost nine months since he first kissed me. I was allowed to say that right? But I instantly panicked. My eyes grew wide as his narrowed. His hand didn't move. He was a perfect statue. The hair on the back of my neck stood up straight at his expression. I wanted to take my words and shove them back into my mouth. We sat there looking at each other, sizing up the others reaction. He kept unmoving. I tried to stand up. If he wasn't going to say anything, I wasn't going to sit on his lap- which he was very much enjoying. He felt me start to move and kept me grounded.

"Is this it?" Hiruma sighed. I heard the twinge of guilt in his voice. "Is this why you've been so damn weird lately? You love me?" Hiruma's voice hitched into hysteria at the end. Like he couldn't believe it. I was automatically taken aback.

"Yeah." I said uncomfortably. "It is. And yes." I breathed in and out. He didn't say anything. He pushed me off his lap and got dressed so quickly it seemed impossible. Then he stormed out the door. I just sat there. Naked. In the most comfortable chair in the shed.

I was a wreck for a week. I felt my heart ache in ways it shouldn't. Hiruma wouldn't talk to me. No one else would have noticed, but I did. I watched Hiruma so carefully I memorized every strand of color in his blond hair. We didn't break our routine. He held my hand, walked me to class, made me feel things I can't get enough of in the shed, and then got dressed and left. He didn't look at me before, during or after. I would just sit there and feel confused. What did all this mean? I kind of expected a harshness from Hiruma before, but now it's escalated to just plain mean. I got dressed on the fifth day after I told him. I felt something in my shirt's pocket. I took out a small, think, folded piece of paper. I unfolded it once. In small writing it said, "To Mamori". I recognized Hiruma's chicken scratch. I unfolded it again. In even smaller writing it said, "Show anyone this and I swear to god I'll kill-" kill was scratched out and he rewrote, "leave you." I had to unfold it ten more times before the full note came into view. It was filled with holes and places where he'd pressed the pen too hard on the paper. I saw the scribbled out words to clearly.

I'm sorry...

I froze. I didn't expect that.

I'm sorry. Really. I am. I just don't know how to do this. I'm so fucking- so damned confused at myself. I've screwed-messed around with-had relations with other girls, and I thought you'd just be another one. Another name on my list (which is pretty long). But I can't stop thinking about you. I want to hold your hand in the hallways. I want you to know I care for you. But I don't know why. I'm not a nice guy, but I don't want to hurt you in the ways I've hurt every other girl. I left the shed that day because I'm scared of what will happen. I want to tell you, "I love you" but I can't bring myself to say it. I don't know how you've gotten this emotion out of me. I don't like having a weak point. I like doing it-having relations with you. I don't just want to toss you aside when I'm done. I want you to like it to. To spend time with me afterward. Just try to imagine this being told to you in my voice, OK? Mamori. I love you. More than I can say. I love you and I don't know why. I can try being the best... boyfriend... Damn. That just sounds weird.


It took me a while to stop crying. But when I did, I noticed I had a huge grin on my face.

I burned that letter. To make sure no one ever saw it. To know with utmost certainty no one could ever use what he wrote to me in that letter against him. I memorized every word before I chucked it into our small wood stove, to make sure those loving words were with me always- even if he never says them to me. And since that day I didn't tell Hiruma that I loved him again, and he never planned to tell me. We were in this little love cycle of "need to know" only. But we could see it when we looked at each other the love and affection that ran through us.

It was during summer vacation when things got really serious. I have no idea what his parents do for a living, but it had them out of the house all summer vacation. Hiruma took this opportunity to get me over his place and stay there. I laughed and told him my parents would rather me die. Then he smiled.

"Just lie to them." He said matter-of-factly. He was cooly drinking a type of orange juice and looking rather satisfied with his problem solving skills. I just stared at him. As if I could just barge into my house and say, 'I'm not going over my boyfriend Hiruma's house! Going to some anonymous friend's all summer! See ya!' But of course this wasn't what Hiruma had in mind. He had a more vicious scheme planned. He grabbed my phone and called his own. With my number, he called my house. Of course my dad answered.

"Hello?" My dad asked. Hiruma's number must have been set to 'restricted'... Of course.

"Hello, Mr. Anezaki?" Hiruma asked with a perfect imperssionation of Deimon High School's principal. I heard my dad stutter and quietly laughed. Hiruma saw me and smiled in my direction.

"Ah, hello! H-how may I help you?" My dad was obviously fixing his hair in a mirror thinking that the other person could see him.

"Well we need your permission for something. You see, your daughter has been oh so careless and left a slip your wife signed at your house. It was to go on a retreat to Osaka this summer for a month. I'm sure you recall such a slip?" Hiruma made faces as he impersonated. I tried really, really hard not to laugh.

"Of course I remember! My silly daughter. You have permission. Mamori is allowed to go on this resort. If my wife OK'd it, it's OK with me." I heard my dad smile through the phone. Was was deception so much fun?

"Thank you Mr. Anezaki. We'll send her home to get some things." Hiruma then hung up and looked at me. His toothy grin spread out across his face. I giggled uncontrolabley and Hiruma hugged me. I was frozen in place. Hiruma doesn't do PDA. Ever. Holding hands was a break through- now hugging? I mentally cataloged this moment. Then he released me, holding me by the tops of my arms. I saw his loving gaze and melted. It was nice knowing that Hiruma was there for me. Even if it was tricking my father. But he was also there in the sense that he loves me. And no one else could love me in that moment more than Hiruma. I stood on my tip toes and placed a small kiss on Hiruma's lips. Then quickly turned around and headed towards home. Hiruma was right behind me. Still holding my hand.

When I got to my house Hiruma stayed on the street hidden by our concrete fence. My dad was waiting at the door with a duffel bag for me. He muttered something about irresponsible teenagers and told me to pack, throwing the bag at me. I packed all of the skimpy underwear my girl friends have bought for me over the years and all the clothes I could find that weren't hideously plain. I've never been around Hiruma in anything other than my uniform and nothing at all. I finally felt it then. How impossibly nervous I was. I could feel the cold sweat forming on my palms. I'm going over Hiruma's. For a month. Images flooded my brain of what that would look like. Two high schoolers sleeping in the same house? Alone? If anyone saw us... I'd never be able to show my face again!

I was still worrying when I got outside. My head swam with possible escape routes from this situation. 'My dad's really sick.' 'I have a project to work on.' 'Oh, my grandmother just died.' But none of them seemed to work. Hiruma would see right through my ruse and drag me by my hair to his house. I looked up, ready to see the greedy eyes of my kipnapper. I thought of ways to run around him, to maybe maneuver around my story's holes. But when he came around that fence to look at me, I didn't want to run away. I saw him standing there, long legs crossed at the ankle, muscled arms folded over his chest. And his genuine smile he saved for me. His eyes were beautifully calm and smiled with his mouth. I could barely find it in me to move. But when I did, I made a b-line right for Hiruma's arms. I wanted to forced myself into them. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hold me until I was satisfied. But right when I got close to him he walked away. Started to walk down the street and away from me. I was instantly pissed.

"Hey!" I yelled at him. He took no notice. Kept walking as if I hadn't said a damned thing. I marched angrliy after him on the sidewalk. How could he ignore me? I'm his girlfriend dammit! If I want a hug I'm going to get one! I curled my hands into fists. I could feel the heat in my face, the pressure of my fingernails digging into the skin in my palm. Right when he stops. I'm going to punch him in the mouth. Yes, I had a plan. I would hurt Hiruma for ignoring me. His long legs and irresistible chest won't save him now! "Hiruma!" I yelled again, and he stopped. Turned around. And took me in his arms. My hands were still fists, but I lost all of my anger. My body went limp in his arms. This is where I wanted to be. I took my balled up hands and put them on his back. My fingers relaxed and spanned his lower back, feeling his smooth muscles under their tips. I sighed.

"Were you going to punch me?" Hiruma asked after a few minutes. But I didn't care about time. I could stay there forever.

"I was." I admitted. "But I'm OK now." I proved my point by kissing the closest part of him I could- he neck. Just a light little peck. It was nice, kissing him. He always has a tastey flavor on him- fresh cut grass, the salty bitterness of his sweat, or the sweetness of whatever body wash he uses. I felt him do a light laugh. It shook his chest and made me giggle. Then he picked my face up with one of his hands and kissed me. It started sweet. The tangyness of whatever juice he was drinking still on his breath. His tongue swept across mine with such familiarity it was like we've never spent a moment not kissing. I traced his pointed teeth with mine, memorizing every line. This was the trigger. He swiftly picked me up in his arms and ran top speed down the street. I was confused. Was I that bad of a kisser? Where was he taking me? Was he going to dump me in a river and never look back? I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck. "What's wrong now?" I mumbled. He just kept running. Was I that light? He never broke his stride.

By the time we stopped I had already speculated the worse. I winced as he set me down. He towered over me, glaring at me with those eyes I can't resist.

"What do you think you were you doing?" Hiruma asked, snarling at the end. I blinked. What did I do? He answered my questions. "Don't do things like that to me in public. I was about to rip your damn clothes off... On the street! I thought you got that when I walked away from you... But you looked so c-" I could hear it in his head. He was going to say "cute". I tried not to smile but in my struggle it got worse. I broke into fits of giggles followed by doubling over. It hurt to laugh this much. But it was a nice hurt. It was a happy hurt.

When I was finally finished my giggling I looked up and saw where we stopped. We were at his house and the door was already opened. Infact, he was standing inside the threshold waiting patiently for me to finish. I caught up with him and took his hand. He lead me inside and halfheartedly showed me around. It was an odd layout for a traditional Japanese house. Everything had a western sharpness to it that I couldn't place. It was one story but this story was huge. Much bigger than what the small look of the outside had let on. The floor was a rich oak that made small protests under my weight, as if it's seen enough feet in its life time. He led me down a long, endless hallway. While we walked he casually pointed out things like the three bathrooms (with full baths), a kitchen, a dining room, two sitting rooms, a back up kitchen, storage closet, more guest rooms than I could count, his parent's room, and finally at the very end of the hallway he pointed down.

"My room." He said with a certain smugness I didn't understand. I looked down and saw ornately carved wooden doors in the oak floor. I crouched down and ran my hands over them once, twice, three times. I couldn't believe it. They seemed like something torn right out of a history book. This whole house screamed, "mafia" or, "stolen". Maybe it was a long lost relatives? Or maybe Hiruma is filthy rich. What do his parents do? It hurt my head to think about.

Hiruma knelled down next to me and grabbed both handles. He lifted the heavy looking doors with ease and let them tall adjacent to where they were closed. I look down into the abyss bellow me. I couldn't see anything. I looked back at Hiruma. He had a ridiculously large, toothy grin on.

"Ladies first." He insisted. I just stared at him.

"Ladies first? To do what? Do I have to jump?" I almost screamed. He laughed, took my bag off of my shoulder and stuck a foot into the shadowy cavern. I reached my hand out for him, to catch him in his perpetual fall- But nothing happened. I stared blankly. He grinned again. His foot was placed on a solid staircase that winded down into the darkness. He reached out for my hand. I greedily took it. He confidently strode down the mysterious staircase. I tried not to look down. It seemed impossibly long and even more terrifying. I had to make an effort not to shield my eyes as we walked. I felt the vibrations of laughter travel through his arms. He knew I was scared. Damn him.

When we finally reached the end I could smell Hiruma all around me. Like he was hugging me too tightly. Nervousness swept through me. I took deep, meaningful breaths. It was still dark, and the room seemed big, like if I said something it would echo for days, so I said nothing. Hiruma wrapped his gangly arms around me and started to place small, meaningful kisses all down my neck and around to my face. I melted in his loose grip. He knew how to make me fall in love with him all over again. He turned me around to face him, his eyes glowing with excitement, mine reflecting the same want. We shared a sweet, passionate kiss. It took all I could not to collapse. When did he take control of my emotions like this? This was bliss.

He quickly removed me of my clothes, faster than I ever could. He laid me down on his bed and used his claws to meaningfully stroke the length of my body. I shivered and moaned at his touch. My flesh yearned for him, and he knew it. Hiruma's head disappeared in between my legs.
I was instantly self concious, what was he doing? Then I felt his tongue, entering me, flicking at my sensitive spots, making sure he heard me squeal and writhe under his skill. It felt so good, but it wasn't enough. He put his hands on my hips to stop me from moving into his advances, and I pushed his head down with my hands to keep it going. I felt so close, and he knew it too, so he lifted his head up and inserted his fingers instead. These went much deeper than his tongue and filled me with so much lust. I moaned his name the more he moved those talented appendages. I begged for him to go deeper, harder, faster- And he finally took out his fingers even though I moaned for him to go back. Then he finally went inside me, fully inside. I felt him deep in me, moving and grinding against me. I was breathing so hard I could barely hear him moan my name with every thrust.

"Mamori... Mamori..." It sounded so rough and husky, everything I ever wanted to hear. I could see his mouth part and his pointy, shark-like teeth peeking through the gap. It was so tempting... I leaned forward and kissed him deeply, he moaned in my mouth and pounded into me more and more, harder, just like I asked. Oh it felt too good. I broke our kiss to scream out his name over, and over, and over, and he grunted mine. When he came, he made sure to pull out and spread his seed all over me. I was mildly disgusted, but it felt so amazing at the same time. I loved this boy, and every part of him. He laid down next to me and I cuddled into his back. He grunted a mild discomfort to cuddling, but he let me snuggle on to his back. Then I said the weirdest thing...

"I love you Hiruma." He turned his head and looked at me, totally skeptical. Then he smiled.