26Elfen Lied: Interruption Part 2
Author's note: In case you missed my rant in the first part of the story, I'm going to reiterate the same points just so you can have this drilled into your head again. I rated this teen because I am working under the assumption that most teens today are corrupted to the point where concepts such as necrophilia and rape don't even raise an eyebrow. I would like to digress a little bit at this point and thank Family Guy for making this possible. Don't get me wrong, I love the show, and it amuses me to no end when I see eight year olds talk of transvestites and Quagmire-esque feats with the blasé of a jaded hooker. Anyways, back to the point. I MIGHT change the rating to mature later in the story due to extremely excessive gore (even in Elfen Lied standards,) but for now I'm on the fence about that decision. If any righteous shitheads decide to chide me about my choice of theme and language in conjunction with the rating, go right ahead and prepare for a rather accurate psychoanalytic judgement of your pathetic christian life. See what I did thar? I underscored the 'C' to piss people off.
With all that pleasant stuff out of the way, let's get on with the story bitch cakes.
After a breakfast of Miso soup, rice, and baked trout, Yuka put down her cup of steaming green tea and announced, 'We're going to the zoo today!'
'Really?' I said in a rather disinterested tone. I was too busy playing Chicken Wars on my laptop. The run had drained me of my will to live.
Lucy calmly sipped her tea and gave her usual devious grin, 'C'mon Richard, I know you have more energy than this. If you decide to be a party pooper...'
Something moved in my colon again.
I was now convinced that Lucy had something to do with my shitting episode on the taxi.
Closing my laptop, I twitched my cheeks once or twice and said, 'No prob, it'll probably be good for me to have some fun before the storm...I mean, the shitload of work that's going to come crashing down on me next week.'
Kouta rolled his eyes and muttered, 'You need more trollface.'
'Excuse me?'
'You need more space...for sleeping. ' He said carefully. I could have sworn he said 'trollface.'
Nana was hopping up and down with excitement, seemingly tormented by needles sticking into her ass, 'Let's go! I can't wait to see those things with long noses again!'
'You mean elephants?' Yuka corrected her gently. Lucy face palmed herself.
'Oli-phaunts!' Nana blurted out happily.
Mayu, in her meek wisdom, broke the awkward scene, 'I'll go get my sketch book and pencils...'
'She draws too!?'I almost screeched. I had a tendency to stick rather obnoxiously to people who shared the same interests as me.
'Yeah. She's just taken to it. Though.' Yuka said in a strangely maternal tone, 'She's taking a studio class, and she seems to have a knack for it.'
'We should be siblings!' I screeched yet again. My voice cracked, ' Wow, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside- a b-tard, an artist-slash-writer, and a runner in the same house!'
Yuka raised an eyebrow. Nana had mysteriously disappeared.
I was too dense to realize that I hadn't included her and Nana in my congratulatory ejaculation.
'Well, thanks for the wonderful meal.' I stood up and stretched my arms, ' Let's get ready for an afternoon of animals, fun and a lingering smell of popcorn butter, summer humidity, and animal shit!'
I would have bitten down on the insides of my cheek again, except there was only a field of bloody pustules covering the torn skin. I popped one and felt my face flush as Yuka looked at me rather strangely.
'That's a rather strange expression, but it's strangely accurate.' Kouta said thoughtfully.
'I'll go get my wallet and cellphone.' I declared, 'See you in two.'
I bolted into my makeshift room and found the most compromising scene.
Mayu and Nana were in the middle of a mouth-to-mouth kiss that simply screamed 'Morning Quickie.'
I froze for a second. It took them a second to realize I was there, but when they did, I could have sworn that Mayu teleported to the other side of the room, while Nana just looked at me blankly.
Mayu muttered obscenities under her breath while Nana's creepy stare bored into my baggy eyes.
The black haired girl scrambled up to me and grabbed the front of my collar. Second time already? Maybe my warm and fuzzy feelings were misplaced.
'You saw everything, didn't you...' Her eyes were filled with tears, 'Please don't tell anybody about this...'
'Why not? It's not like being gay's bad or anything.' Phantom cheek bite yet again.
'No, just...please don't tell Yuka or anyone, it's...just don't...' She blubbered a little, spoke some gibberish, and then loosened her grip on my collar.
I had a horrible feeling that I was going to blurt it out sooner or later. I didn't tell her though. Her momentary despair seemed to fall on the level of being suicidal.
'Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. I swear on my life.'
'Pinky swear?' Mayu whispered.
This rather childish cementing of promises almost caused me to diagnose her being stuck at the oral stage of development out loud.
I sniffed rather harshly to keep my tongue from slipping and made the eight year old seal of trust.
'You promise, right? I mean...it's not that I don't trust you...
'It's that I don't trust you.' I finished for her. She looked at me quizzically. Nana was still giving me the blank look of post-modernist video art.
'Can you guys hurry up?' Yuka called from the other room, 'Nana, it's your turn to do the dishes today!'
Nana shuffled out of the room and shot me one last blank look before going off to wash her plates.
I said in my most reassuring manly voice, 'Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.' I felt the intense need to burst out laughing at my copy-paste response.
Mayu seemed to buy it, 'Thank you. I'll tell them when I'm ready...' She hugged her sketchbook to her chest and scurried out of the room.
I wrinkled my nose and scratched my balls, 'This is certainly an eventful morning.'
Retrieving my blackberry and my fake leather wallet, I stopped by the bathroom to rearrange my coarse dry black hair. I was too lazy to get a haircut. My hair now looked like a bad Asian imitation of a skater mop. I was not too proud of it.
'Buzz cut...yeah, buzz cut.' I muttered to myself like a mantra as I left the room, wondering what would happen if Nana, in her preschool wisdom, were to glomp Mayu in the middle of the night. The /b/ tard inside me screamed 'FAP.' The super-ego screamed, 'NO.'
I mentally screamed, 'YES. NO MEANS MAYBE'
A perverted smile crept onto the corner of my lips as I ran my fingers nervously through my hair.
I decided to grab another cup of black coffee and a five hour energy shot before I headed out.
The zoo was strangely devoid of people. I was still in the shit pits because Nana decided it would be a good idea to consume all my five hour energy shots as a kind of retribution for catching her in the act with Mayu. Unfortunately, my energy shots totalled about ten in number. Nana was jumping and literally bouncing off walls as she cracked jokes that hardly made any sense and kept wagging her tongue and asking everybody if they wanted to see her 'prosthetics.'
I asked Yuka about it, and she merely stated that it was a long running joke with Nana and that it wasn't anything to fuss about.
Again, I had the feeling that that was utter and total bullshit. I glanced very hard at Nana's limbs and saw absolutely no sign of any fake limbs.
I looked to Yuka for some kind of answer, but I had the feeling that she was deliberately looking away from me.
I had a feeling that this 'family' had more than a few festering skeletons in their closet. I pretended to look intently at my blackberry as Kouta cleared his throat, 'Let's go see the elephants then!'
'The oli-phaunts!'
'Elephants.' Yuka said gently.
'What-ever.' Nana hopped up and down on the spot, 'Last one to the African section is a rotten Diclonius!'
She sped off at an impressive pace. I wondered if all pink haired girls in Japan possessed such natural running ability. Lucy had her face in one palm.
Kouta was busily pursuing Nana while Yuka looked at me apologetically, 'Sorry she drank all your...energy shots...she's always like that, curious, but not too socially conscious.' Yuka sounded uncharacteristically tired. Perhaps it was only in comparison to Nana's hyperactive state.
I shrugged, 'It's aww-right. No harm done. I hope that stuff wears off though. We can't keep up with her.' My insides glowed with sparkling happiness when I quoted the meme. I loved self masturbatory comments.
Yuka smiled wanly, 'Thanks...I hope so too.' She looked around and saw Lucy fidgeting around with the zoo map while staring intently at the monkeys.
'Lucy! We've got to catch up with Kouta and Nana- we don't want to get lost!'
The pink haired enigma muttered something under her breath and tore the map in half. Yuka's face bore a temporary look of pure unadulterated horror before she recomposed herself.
'Coming.' Lucy nearly stomped over and turned her head this way and that in her typical well-oiled-machine fashion, 'Did Kouta just run off with that little...whore?' She inquired rather harshly.
'Erm...yeah...' Yuka seemed intent on swallowing her own tongue, 'I told you we had to hurry up...'
Lucy repeated some calming mantras under her breath and put on a fake smile, 'Okay, I won't kill you this time.'
'What?' I could have sworn I heard something after the 'okay'.
'Never mind, never mind...' Lucy's smile started to look rather painful. She spun around and stalked off towards the African section.
Yuka groaned, ' This is turning out fantastic.'
All of a sudden, as if on cue, her head disappeared.
I suddenly tasted copper, gunpowder, and a touch of raw pork as my vision was obscured by red giblets of meat. Some solid shards slashed masterpieces into my forehead, while something like jell-o settled on my nose. I opened and closed my mouth in shock, swallowing some of the burning meat in the process. Something slippery was encasing my upper body.
In that split second, I registered the following: Yuka was now a headless mannequin with a crooked candy cane spinal cord reaching wildly out for a missing skull, people were screaming, and Mayu's face was turning green.
The first thing that popped into my head was, 'Human sashimi.' And an offhand commentary breezily saying, 'You know putz, you have a half liquefied EYEBALL on your nose.'
Like any reasonable human being would do in a situation such as this, I did the only thing I could do.
I screamed like a spoiled four year old girl getting the wrong doll for her birthday, dove for Mayu with my open arms, and tackled her to the ground, unintentionally ramming my elbow into her stomach.
If this were any other situation, I would have had an erection. But in any case, I felt the need to intersperse my heroic actions with a short and strangled yelp of, 'FALCON PUN-
Mayu threw up all over my face.
Great, now my face was the amalgamation of all human fluids compiled into one convenient spot. My tea-pot squeal was still going on as I shielded Mayu with my body...
Okay, I wasn't shielding her with my body, I was trying to army crawl away as fast as humanly possible, while Mayu held on to my leg with screams of, ' Don't leeeeaaaave meeeeee...'
I shook my head like a dog in heat and ridded myself of some debris on my face. Somebody stepped on me, and I said something along the lines of, 'FACKOO SHELF!' in heavily accented chinglish. ( I was trying to tell the man to fornicate himself.)
Another shot rang out, and Mayu screeched in agony. Somebody put a bullet in her ass.
I suddenly felt a wave of righteous anger wash through me. No one defiles sweet ass like that without some kind of retribution, but this wasn't the time for heroics.
In a display of intense, heroic and rather amazing hysterical strength, I heaved all ninety pounds of the petite sixteen year old onto the back of my emaciated six foot four frame, screamed, and ran wide legged towards the African Pavilion with urine steadily seeping wildly through my pants.
I saw a washroom, opened the door to the lady's room with the hand that wasn't gripping Mayu's bleeding ass, and collapsed to the floor, unceremoniously causing the wounded girl to drop like a sack of potatoes.
'Ohshitohshitohshitohshit!' I chattered like a parrot on crack as I crawled towards her at super speed. At least I had the frame of mind to kneel next to her at an angle where she couldn't see my dripping crotch.
Mayu's face was ghastly pale, 'Where's Wanta?' She sat upright.
Oh, I had totally forgotten about the little fucker.
'Let'snotgoofftopicherelieonyourstomachsotheblooddoesn'tcomeout.' I yammered while I flipped her over. I looked at the blood soaked hole in her buttocks and was a little relieved that the blood wasn't exactly spurting out. I jumped up, ripped open the paper dispenser, (it was rusty anyways) and snatched out a pile of brown towelettes. With shaking hands, I placed the stack on the wound and decided to lie down on it in my infinite wisdom.
'Thiswillstopthebleeding.' I slurred as she glanced at me with glazed eyes, 'Don'tworryI'llcallKouta.'
I flexed my neck. It always did something to quell my neurotic episodes. My trembling was toned down a notch. I suddenly screamed out, 'THANK YOU SATAN!' When I found out I had Kouta's number on my blackberry. I am by nature, a very disorganized person, so the very fact that I had bothered to ask him for his cell 'for posterity' was cause enough to celebrate.
I gripped the black device with slippery hands as I anxiously waited for him to pick up.
'Huh-huh-huh-huh-hello?' Came the unstable voice of Kouta from the other end.
'YELLOW!?' I almost screeched. I calmed myself with an approximation of Lucy's mantra, which was incidentally, 'Find your center, find your center.' I took a deep shaky breath and said in the most professional voice I could, 'Yuka's head is blown off and Mayu's ass is bleeding.'
This time, I actually said, 'Doh!' out loud and smacked myself on the forehead.
A short pause.
'What?` Kouta`s voice was barely audible.
'Um...maybe it's best if I tell you face to-
'Yuka's dead?' Kouta said in a strangely calm manner.
'Erm...yeah...I'm sorry...but Mayu's bleeding quite badly here, so can you come-
An agonized howl came from the other end of line, causing my blackberry to sputter in snaps, crackles, and pops. The scream would haunt me, a seasoned /b/ tard for several weeks. My balls were itching yet again.
Kouta was busily sobbing at the end of the line- he sounded like someone who had just snapped from years of emotional turmoil. For some reason, I wasn't too surprised. I felt some snot drip down my nose.
Lucy picked up the phone, 'Richard? Is that you?'
'A-yup.' I said in a retarded voice.
'Where are you right now?'
'I'm in the lady's room back at the primate section...' I kept on repeating the mantra to myself. Mayu started to get her bearings and began to rant and inquire hastily under her breath pertaining to the whereabouts of Wanta.
I began to get nervous. My voice cracked like a pre-pubescent teen in the process of dropping his balls, 'Please hurry up...Mayu's not looking too good here.'
'Where did you say you were?'
'I'm in the lady's room in the primate section.' Mayu suddenly grabbed the seat of my pants and shrieked, 'WHERE'S WANTAAAAA!?'
I looked around frantically and felt my mouth move on its own, 'Shut up!' I snarled unintentionally.
This did nothing to quell her anxiety. Her hands raced up to the back of my shirt and began to tug spastically, 'Where's wanta, where's wanta, WHERE'S WANTA!?' She repeated like a bad remix.
I heard Lucy mutter something on the phone, 'What!?'
'WHERE'S MY FUCKING DOG!?' Mayu's face could have passed for that of a geisha with too much makeup. Two unhealthy looking spots of red dotted her face. She shook me to and fro. I was trying my hardest to control the urge to shove her aside.
'Look, we'll look for your dog after-
'WANTA!'
'Okay, Wanta, after we get out of this mess.'
'No, you dragged me in here, and I lost Wanta in the process!'
That was greatfulness for you.
'Actually, you would have been dead if I hadn't dragged you in here.' I said with barely concealed malice, 'Who cares about that little shit anyways? It wouldn't surprise me if the tigers are playing hot potato with his carcass right now.'
I winced as I realized the gravity of what I just said.
Mayu suddenly fell silent. It looked as if the bones in her body had suddenly disappeared.
She slumped down against the wall.
The bleeding had started again. A pool of blood was forming underneath her.
She hunched forward a little bit, hugged her knees to her chest, and started to sob quietly.
I stared blankly at her.
A crack appeared in the wall separating the two washrooms.
I heard a muffled shout of, 'One!'
The crack grew bigger.
'Two!'
The crack was now approximately seven by seven. It was starting to spider web.
'THREE!'
The wall collapsed in a mess of concrete, dust and chips of yellowed paint. I felt something blunt hit my forehead.
Lucy was doubling over from violent hacks and coughs.
Kouta was still wailing erratically and muttering to himself about Yuka's death. Nana simply stood rather calmly next to Lucy, apparently unaffected by the dust storm.
Blood was pouring down my forehead. A piece of concrete must have hit me.
Lucy finished her coughing, 'Is Mayu okay? Nothing hit her, right?'
Mayu looked like she was caked in flower. The blood surrounding her now looked like Kool-Aid powder.
Nana caught sight of her lover sitting in the corner like a broken mannequin. Her eyes widened to the size of toonies.
'Don't worry Mayu, I'll save you!' She bounded over in the clumsy fashion of a retired superhero on speed.
She kneeled next to the almost comatose brunette and flipped her over in a surprising display of strength. The wound was mostly covered by vaporized plaster and yellow dust.
'Oh no...Mayu, I need you to bear the pain a little, okay?'
Mayu nodded and looked at me with a pair of haunting glazed over eyes.
'Okay...I'm going to extract this...it's only going to sting a little...'
'Are you sure this is a good id-
My mouth went dry when I saw the bullet levitate out of the wound.
It fell to the floor with a resounding clink. It was a .308 round. The guy really must have wanted us dead.
'You okay Mayu?'
'I think...I think I can stand now...' Mayu staggered a little like a newborn foal, and fell on her ass.
'I'll repair the muscle fibres the best I can then...' Nana closed her eyes and stood next to Mayu, apparently trying out her psychic schtick again.
'Wait wait WAIT JUST A FUCKING MINUTE!' I yelled in caffeine induced hysteria, 'Are you saying that you have psychic powers now!? What the FUCK!?'
Lucy sniggered a little, and then coughed, 'You could say that. It's nothing you would understand though.'
'What, you can do that shit too?'
'Damn straight.'
'So you're telling me you knocked down that wall with...psychokinesis?'
'Erm...not exactly. It' complicated.' Lucy knelt down next to Kouta and tried to comfort him with sweet little nothings in his ear.
I yelled to the ceiling, 'CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?'
I caught my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and bulging.
Lucy sighed in frustration, 'Okay, okay...I guess you're trustworthy enough to know the truth...'
She dusted herself off, coughed once more and pointed to the ribbons in her hair, 'You see these?'
Unravelling them revealed another set of cat ears not too far removed from Nana's.
'These are horns.'
'I thought they were cat ears.'
Lucy snorted scornfully, 'That's a new comment. Anyways, I'm part of a mutant species known as Diclonius. And no, we don't have psychic powers. We have invisible semi-corporeal limbs that extend out of our backs.'
I crossed my arms and tried to prevent my jaw from dropping. Maintaining my 'cool dude' posture, I said in a mismatched cracking voice, 'B-b-b-but that's scientifically impossible! So let me get this straight- you're a mutant with horns...with invisible tentacles that have super strength growing out of your back.'
'Well, they're more like arms and hands. We can grab things with them too.'
'There...' Nana murmured, 'I did the best I can. I reattached most of your muscle fibres. Try standing up now.'
Mayu got like an old man with arthritis, but go up nevertheless.
I turned my head spastically to each odd couple repeatedly, ' Okay...so you can repair muscle fibers with these things?'
'Depends on the size of your...fingers.' Lucy said off-handedly. Haha, 'Nana's got really dainty and slim ones. Mine are...' She squinted and looked up, 'About the twice the size of my normal hands. You can say that my fingers are too fat.'
'But I can still grab stuff with them.' Lucy added, as if trying to cover up this shortcoming.
Something in my head suddenly clicked.
'You were the one that caused me to shit myself in the taxi.' I pointed an accusing finger at Lucy. At this point however, I was more fascinated than furious.
But I was still pretty peeved.
'Oh, that...hehe...' Lucy tried to hold back a giggle, 'That was just a little prank...sorry about that...'
'Little!? You fucking embarrassed me in front of everyone!' I raved a little louder than necessary.
'I said sorry.' Lucy rolled her eyes in a maddeningly condescending manner.
'Apology accepted.' I said through gritted teeth.
'By the way, your head's bleeding pretty badly.'
'Don't care.' I said with a fair amount of blasé, 'I've had worse accidents than this.'
Lucy shrugged while running her fingers through Kouta's hair, 'Hope you don't bleed out or anything though.' She kept on whispering things to Kouta. What I would have given to know what they were. I would have had a field day ruminating on the essence of their strange relationship. There seemed to be an unhealthily unbalanced vampiric vibe going on between them.
I sighed and wiped off some of the glistening blood, 'Okay, time to really come clean now. It's obvious they aren't after me. You've probably pissed some people off in the past. Who?'
'They're probably trying to get their hands on me again...' Lucy said to herself.
'Who the fuck are you talking about!?'
'I know Kakuzawa's dead...who could be taking his place?'
'Who's Kakuzawa!? Can you quit hiding things from me!?'
Lucy said with a mildly annoyed look, ' Richard, can you just shut up for one moment?'
I suddenly took into account the power of her mighty tentacles and kept quiet.
She thought to herself for a few more moments, even taking her hand off Kouta's shoulder.
'Fuck, I've got nothing.' She snarled to herself.
'You shouldn't be too surprised though. Some people might find you an interesting...specimen to study.'
'Hm, according to them, I am apparently.' Lucy said surprisingly mildly, 'You see, I'm considered... quote unquote, the queen of my kind- meaning, A, I'm the only one that can reproduce, and B, I'm the one with the purest bloodline.' Lucy sighed dejectedly, 'What more research could they want from me?'
I bit my lip, 'Huh, that is the most peculiar story. So...they used you like a lab rat?'
Lucy raised an eyebrow, 'That's one way to put it, though I could decapitate you for that comment.'
'Sorry, slip of the tongue again.'
'Apology accepted.' Lucy helped Kouta stagger to his feet. His shoulders were hunched over, causing him to look like a zombie. He choked, gasped, and wheezed like Michael Jackson before he died.
Being the judgmental prick that I am, I deducted that Lucy appeared more docile when she was in close physical proximity with Kouta. Maybe I should have taken more jabs at Ms. 'Better Then Thou' while the advantage lasted?'
'Soooo...what's the plan then?'
'We're going to look for Wanta.' Mayu said with stony deliberation.
'No, we're are not going to do that.' Lucy said with equal gravity, 'We are going to find a way to get the fuck out of this zoo, and then we'll consider looking for your dog.'
Mayu said nothing. She turned her dead gaze back on to me.
'Again, do you have a plan?'
Lucy rolled her eyes, 'Do I look like I have a plan? Geez, I'm not a military strategist.'
'Can't you just take out any shooters with those magical tentacles of yours?'
'They're called vectors, you douche. And no, I refuse to use them.'
'Why?'
'Because I don't want to.'
'What the fuck!?' I was getting a little peeved now, 'Are you a fucking pacifist or something?'
'Far from it.' Lucy glared at me with frightening intensity, 'I don't think it's ever occurred to you, dense human, but I used to kill a lot of people with my vectors.'
She stopped calling me Richard. Back to the drawing board.
'So what, you're like a serial killer or something?'
'Precisely.' She said coldly, 'You see, it's hardwired into my genes to kill every single human on the planet and repopulate it with Diclonius like me. It's actually a miracle that I was able to suppress my innate desire to kill. I used to view all humans as filthy vermin, but Kouta changed my perception of humans. Without him, I would have still been a psychotic killer with no empathy.' She took a shaky breath, 'I...I promised Kouta I wouldn't use these vectors to take life, and I intend to keep that promise.'
An awkward silence fell over the group.
'That's rather admirable of you.' I muttered.
'Thank you.' She said rather frostily, 'So I'm not a pacifist, thank you very much.'
Mayu stumbled over to the sink and washed her face with cold water. Nana tottered after her like an underpaid nurse in an old folk's home.
It was the first time I noticed the washroom smelled like the feces of a man who ate too much meat.
'It stinks in here.'
'No shit, Sherlock.' Lucy paused for a moment, 'No pun intended there.'
'Da Dum Tss.' Bass, snare, crash.'
'Oh, haha.' Lucy allowed her trademark ghost of a smile to wander into her features.
Another awkward silence followed. The gurgling of a plugged toilet could be heard.
The dust was beginning to settle. Lucy cleared her throat, coughed once more and said, 'You know, I don't think we're going to be safe anywhere from this point on. Returning to Kaede house isn't the best option.'
'So I'm going to miss school on Monday?'
'You're probably going to miss your plane going back two months later.' Lucy said as-a-matter-of-factly, 'You're entangled with us now. If they get a hold of you, they'll probably interrogate you and then kill you. Anything pertaining to my species is top secret stuff.'
'So this is like area 51 crap now?'
'You could say that.'
'Who knows, maybe you're an alien.'
'I wish I was. Like I said, dork- I'm a mutant.'
'You're really a tsundere, aren't you?'
'No, mostly just a tsuntsun.'
I was quite surprised at her knowledge of basic anime culture. That's what you get for living with a /b/ tard I guess.
'Tsuntsun's an understatement.'
Lucy shrugged, 'It's better than what I used to be. If I were half the person I was two years ago, you would be lying in half on the floor screaming while trying to stuff your intestines back in.'
'Really vivid imagination you've got there.'
'Not imagination. Just memories.'
'Oh.'
She looked away from me, signifying the end of the peculiar exchange. She draped her arms over Kouta, 'Now, the first thing we have to do is get out of this washroom. We can't very well spend the rest of our lives in here.'
Without even thinking, my heroic alter-ego popped in to say hi, 'I'll be the bait.'
Lucy looked at me with a bewildered look on her face, 'You'll be bait?'
'Yeah...I mean...I could be...'
'That's uncharacteristic of a human. I would have thought you'd be more cowar-
'No, it's just a month without sleep.'
'I see...'
Awkward silence number three. How I hated them.
'Do you hear that?' Lucy frowned and cupped her ear.
'Hear what?'
'That rumbling outside.'
I expected her horns to start twitching like cat ears.
Nana started to tremble, 'I'm scared...'
'This is pretty fuckey.' I imitated Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys.
Lucy's eyes opened as wide as eggs, 'Oh...fuck...they wouldn't...'
'What, do you think it's a tank or some-
'GET DOWN!'
A powerful wind swept into the room as the entire front of the washroom collapsed from the immense artillery shell. The washroom buckled, heaved, and eventually crashed down on us.
So there we were, buried in about two tons of concrete and rubble. I could have sworn my head was opened up like a flower at that point. Pollocks swirled around in my vision while I coughed up generous amounts of dust, plastic, and whatever bits and pieces the washroom was constructed of.
My last thought before I blacked out was, 'This is the best summer EVER.'
Author's note: Well, there you have it, chapter two. Please review. Constructive criticism is welcomed with open arms.