Okay guys, please bear with me. This fic is tasteful CRACK. Basically, I've taken all the things that I enjoy and wrote them all into one little fic. I have many, many fandoms and I tend to jump from one to the other, but these are the ones that I actually stick to. The bolded characters in the Characters List are the ones that I'm REALLY REALLY INTO.
This is purely done for my enjoyment, and I had a fucking wonderful time writing this. Hopefully you have a fucking wonderful time reading it.
Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh from South Park
Cosmo Cosma and Wanda from FOP
Bumblebee from Transformers
Lilo and Stitch from Lilo and Stitch
Wendy Darling and Peter Pan from Peter Pan
Murdoc Niccals and 2D from Gorillaz
Muriel Bagg and Courage from Courage the Cowardly Dog
Black Star and Maka Albarn from Soul Eater
Gokudera Hayato and Kyoya Hibari from Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn!
Dr. Horrible from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog
Teru Mikami and Yagami Raito from Deathnote
Dib and Zim from Invader Zim
Jack Skellington and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas
Alice and the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland
Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter
Translation for Stitch's phrase: "I don't like (this situation)"
The Meeting Room
"Order, order everyone."
The command fell on deaf ears, the relentless chattering reverberating off the great room's walls like wailing echoes. The figure at the front of the room slanted his eyes and crossed his arms over the front of his orange jacket, trying to keep his posture by shifting his weight from foot to foot. He stared out across the great hall that he found himself situated in, along with his many fellow fandoms. He widened his eyes, momentarily impressed at the variety he saw sitting in average plastic chairs thinking to themselves or talking with other figments of imagination.
The endless chatter was steadily rising with a vengeance, the whole room seemingly soaked in meaningless babble. After a moments worth of contemplating, the figure brought his hand up and adjusted his green ushanka, before clearing his throat rather loudly and shouting,
"Aw, come on!"
Everyone within the vicinity immediately shut themselves up and turned their eyes towards the boy at front of the room, his bundled form leaning against a wooden pedestal.
"What do you want?" someone asked from the crowd. The boy with the orange jacket meandered behind the podium and squinted his eyes, recognition flitting past them.
"I'm Kyle Broflovski from South Park, in case you all didn't know," the boy replied, addressing the entire audience. He cleared his throat once more. "I don't really know why I'm here, but I guess it must be important or they wouldn't have ripped me from my own universe and stuck me here."
"Umm, yeahhh, about that," a green haired man called from the audience, a yellow wand thrashing about in the air. His yellow crown was very noticeable and his iridescent wings were fluttering madly.
"Yes, Cosmo?" Kyle inquired, pressing forward against the podium.
"I was kinda' in the middle of something important, so can you like...poof me back or somethin'?" Cosmo explained. His wife, Wanda, sighed and gave him a nimble glare before speaking up. Her pink, swirly hair was extra swirly today, either from excitement or stress, nobody knew.
"He was polishing his nickel, it's not that important," she confessed, crossing her petite arms over her yellow shirt. She turned to Cosmo and raised an eyebrow. "Aren't there more important things to worry about, like how Poof was suddenly left alone with Timmy while we were warped away to God knows where?"
"Yeah, that too," Cosmo chirped.
A loud rumbling shook the room as another audience member abruptly stood up, all 15-feet of him. Bumblebee raised two large servos and placed them at his alloy hips, cables and wires sparking together as his blue optics flashed towards Kyle who was trying to keep his wits about him. It was rather hard trying to keep himself together when a giant Cybertronian alien was standing but a few feet away.
"I must get back to Sam, Prowl is crash-landing to Earth and Sam must be there to present him to the U.S. Government," Bumblebee projected, his vocal processors tapering off at the end of his sentence. His vocal modules were still slightly fried, and given any other situation he would have used the radio to convey his message, but since no one in the audience would be able to understand him that way, he was forced to use his own voice.
"Yes, Bumblebee, we all have things we should be doing right now, but I guess they're going to have to wait until I can figure out why we're all here in the first place," Kyle explained rationally, trying to soothe not only Bumblebee's worries, but the entire audiences. "I have a Math exam tomorrow and I haven't studied yet, so I'm screwed too."
"Speaking of aliens, I have to get home too! Nani and Pleakley are gonna' freak, especially Pleakley!" Lilo Pelekai cried from her position at the front of the crowd. She was still in her hula attire, black hair in tangles from the sudden warp she had undergone to get there. A disgruntled looking Stitch sat atop her lap, blue fuzzy ears pressed to his skull as his black eyes probed about the hall.
"Meega naga like," Stitch growled out, eyes blinking rapidly.
"Well, goodness, why are we even here anyway?" Wendy Moira Angela Darling hollered from her floating position up above. She had her legs crossed tastefully as she tucked her night gown beneath her to keep her lower extremities from wandering eyes. She looked as if she were sitting on a nonexistent chair, her dainty neck straight and entirely in good form. Peter was stretched out next to her, his hands placed languidly behind his neck as his pan pipe dangled from his belt. He looked like he could have cared less – that's because he really couldn't care less. His green felt cap was partially tugged over his eyes while his mess of red hair fanned out about his head like a fuzzy halo.
Suddenly, he sat up and looked about him, a confused expression flitting past his face.
"Where are we?" he questioned curiously, scratching his chin.
"Why, I don't quite know Peter," Wendy replied curtly, shaking her blond mass of curls to and fro. Peter stared at her as if she had grown another head, his eyebrows hitched way past his forehead.
"And who are you?" he asked her incredulously. Wendy crossed her arms and sent him a rather nasty glare, her blue eyes sparkling in unbridled annoyance.
"For the last time Peter, I'm Wendy! Why must you keep forgetting?!" she yelled. Finally, she let out a huff and flapped her arms, flying further and further away from him until she was sitting directly above the rather drunk bassist Murdoc Niccals. He let out a belch and looked up from his Tequila bottle, a wry grin snaking across his chapped lips. His mismatched eyes twinkled for a second before he began chuckling sardonically to himself, the blue haired vocalist seated next to him, 2D, staring at him in a blatant stupor, pitted eye sockets blinking. He must have taken too many migraine pills before being warped away.
"Nice view, love!" Murdoc called to Wendy, before chuckling again at the disgusted look on her face.
"Okay, okay guys, please calm yourselves," Kyle piped up, sensing the tension and panic about the room. "We really can't ask any questions right now, it'll get us no where anyway."
"Oh my, but I live in No Where!" Muriel Bagg shouted from the back of the crowd, her dog Courage cowering in fear atop her lap.
"I bet you do," Kyle muttered under his breath, annoyance grating at his nerves. "However, I have a bit of information for you guys, so will you all just shut up and listen for a few seconds?"
Everyone did as they were told, their eyes (and optics) trained solely on him.
"Yesterday, I received a letter from the media and entertainment gurus," Kyle started, shoving his green gloved hands into his jacket pockets. He promptly took out a rectangular yellow envelope, a broken red seal still plastered at the flap of the envelope. "They told me that supposedly, there are a lot of people who are way too obsessed with us, so I guess they sent us all here to form a meeting and get away from the fans so they can cool down a bit."
"Of course!" Black Star piped from his station seated amidst the middle of the crowd. He flexed his muscles, a toothy grin spreading across his lips."I get it now! People love me so much that I needed to take a break from them all! How awesome! I really am Number One – ARGH!"
"Maka Chop!" Maka Albarn screeched, crashing a rather heavy book atop Black Star's spiky blue head. She withdrew her hand (and the book that she had conjured up from out of nowhere) and relaxed back into her seat, her blond pigtails resting against her shoulders. "Kyle, you may continue now."
"As I was saying, they stationed me as the leader of this meeting-thing," Kyle continued, placing the envelope back within his jacket pocket. "But that's all they wrote. I've been thinking, and I came up with one possible reason why they might've done this."
Kyle closed his eyes and swallowed a wad of saliva that had been brewing at the sides of his mouth. He stared out across the audience once more, a smile gracing his lips as he found the audience compliant enough for him to continue.
"Well, out with it!" Gokudera Hayato hollered from the back of the room, waving his dynamite sticks about the air. The smell of fizzling smoke meandered about the room until Kyle found the whole audience choking against the fumes.
"Put those bombs away before I bite you to death," Kyoya Hibari threatened casually, his tonfas raised and at the ready. Gokudera threw a nasty glare at the Cloud Guardian, but complied. Kyle took a few moments for the smoke to clear; he couldn't tell them anything while coughing and sputtering, right?
"Anyway, I think they put us here because unfortunately, when some people get a little too obsessed with something, they eventually become crazy, but that only applies to the people who have already crossed the lines of what's supposed to be reality. When they cross that line into obsession, it gets creepy, and since we're not real to begin with, the whole situation just collapses. In other words, they've broken apart people's obsessions so that they won't turn into obsessed nuts."
Kyle sighed once more and stood straight, his eyes traveling about the hall. Everyone was silent for the remainder of the time, either lost in understanding, or just simply lost.
"Huh?" Cosmo croaked, earning himself a nasty jab to the side via Wanda's elbow.
Dr. Horrible promptly stood up at this, villainous goggles propped atop his forehead. He smoothed out his pristine white lab coat and folded his gloved arms across his chest, raising an eyebrow in interest.
"I'm an evil villain!" he began, a frown marring his lips. "As we all sit here doing nothing, Penny is probably being seduced by my nemesis Captain Hammer! And it's Laundry Day!"
Every single pair of eyes in the hall anchored to the estranged man with shoulder length black hair sitting next to a rather flabbergasted young man sporting a death glare. The man with the black hair, Teru Mikami, had a small black notebook settled on his lap, his fingers ghosting over the silver lettering as his body shook with paranoia.
"Sakujo! While we're all sitting here, the path to justice will collapse! Sakujo!" he hollered, slapping the notebook to his chest. He shifted his eyes to the man sitting next to him, as if begging for him to continue. "Please, God, we have to get back! Justice is at steak!"
"Will you shut the fuck up Mikami," Yagami Raito hissed back, red eyes glinting with malevolence. Raito then composed himself by sitting up straight and straightening the tie clasped around his neck, nimble fingers brushing away the crinkles on his crisp business suit. "I suppose justice can wait a bit longer in order to preserve peoples' sanity. I won't like it, but if it's what we have to do, then by all means we're going to have to do it."
"Ditto," Dib crooned from the front of the room, finger coming up to push at his glasses. He swept a tiny hand through his scythe-like hair in an unkempt fashion."My paranormal studies will have to wait as well."
"LIES!" the green Irken sitting next to him shouted, pointing an accusing green finger at the Dib-human. Dib stared at the alien irritably before turning away and sulking in his seat.
Kyle took the opportunity to interrupt by clearing his throat once again. "Moving on, we just need to be able to get along for a while until everything sorts out on its own, it's not that bad."
A bony figure rose from its chair with lanky arms at its sides, rounded head perked astutely. Jack Skellington placed a skeletal finger to his cat bow-tie and adjusted it, while he then met eye contact with Kyle who was trying not to stare at the all too skeletal Pumpkin King.
"I'm curious," Jack began, his wonderment getting the best of him. "We say we can get along fine and wait this out, but the one true question is: for how long?"
His close friend, Sally the Rag Doll, widened her stitched eyes and put a tiny hand to her ruby mouth. "You're right Jack! We don't even know how long we have to be here! And in our universe, Halloween is just around the corner!"
Jack stared down at Sally with a somber look to his hallowed eyes, a frown marring his features while he took his seat by her side.
"Oh dear, now I'll never find my way home!" Alice cried, throwing her small arms around the Mad Hatter. He in turn retrieved a silk handkerchief from his pocket and brought it to Alice's eyes, dabbing the tears away. The Hatter replied with a woeful, "What a very unmerry Unbirthday this is."
"Um, it's alright Alice, I'm sure we won't be here for too long," Kyle sympathized, although Jack's question was really starting to pound some sense into the back of his head. By all means, Kyle was a very smart person, being a Jew and all, but this was something totally beyond what he normally dealt with. Of course, he had to deal with a bunch of twisted shit down in South Park, but this just topped the cake. "They won't take us away from our universe for too long, then people would start to - ."
A sudden crackling sound streaked across the room, causing every occupant to snap their heads up as tendrils of electricity crackled and bound together forming a compact ball of deadly energy. Kyle stared up at the ball of light confoundedly, eyes wide open as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening above him.
And then, just as quickly as the electricity had come, it left, leaving a deadly silence wracking the expanse of the room, until it was disturbed again. Three figures warped in from mid-air, where they hung there for a few moments until gravity caught up with them. The three beings dropped to the ground, clattering among a few empty plastic chairs. Many people already in the audience immediately got up from their chairs and craned their necks like the rubber-neckers they were, greedy eyes surveying the damage just a little ways away from them.
Kyle tried to peer over the crowd already getting up from their seats as they trotted across the room to meet the newcomers, the audience growing so dense that Kyle couldn't make out anything at all.
"Aw, shit! Dude, where am I?"
And Kyle immediately recognized who that voice belonged to.
"Stan?!" Kyle shouted over the rising chatter spreading across the crowd, jumping off the stage he was originally situated upon and sprinting his way towards the center of the crowd. He pushed and shoved his way through, momentarily getting frightened as he accidentally bumped into the metallic alloy leg of Bumblebee, but he ventured on when Bee merely continued to scan the newcomers.
"Kyle? Kyle, dude, is that you?" he could hear Stan question rather loudly, his voice muffled. Finally, Kyle made it past the only person blocking his view, and once he was settled at the center of the crowd, Kyle came across his Super Best Friend, who was sprawled about the ground in a heap of tangled limbs and cheap plastic chairs.
"Stan, oh my god, you're here!" Kyle chirped with relief, rushing over to help his friend up off the ground. He offered his hand to Stan, who gratefully obliged, and when the two stood face to face with each other, one with an expression of puzzlement and the other of elation, Kyle couldn't help but fling his arms around his best friend and hug him tightly, his joy clearly winning over.
"Gay," someone called from the crowd, and the two immediately broke apart, faces flushing.
"A little help here," a female British voice said from the ground. Kyle turned around and stared down at a grounded Hermione Granger, whose foot was caught in a chair. Her frizzy hair was in its usual bush-like state, frazzled about her face like a lion's wild mane. She pouted her lips and shot a striking glare up at her companion, who was already free from any debris and stood neatly with his wand at his side and his silver-like hair styled properly about his head. Draco Malfoy looked down at her with a cock of an eyebrow and sneered, turning his head away in disgust.
"Like I'd help a Mudblood. Wouldn't want to sully my hands now," Draco hissed, smoothing away a lock of silver hair as he dashed away from the crowd, brilliant ebony robes trailing after him like willowed smoke. Hermione merely glared at his retreating form, muttering obscene curses under her breath as she turned to smile at the figure helping her up from the floor, which happened to be Peter.
Wendy watched the whole precession from her perch above in the air, crossing her arms and furrowing her brow. She didn't know how Peter had gotten there down so fast, although that twinkle in his eye seemed a bit shady to her. Grimacing, she looked down at a still drunken Murdoc, who was staring up at her (or under her skirts, whichever one) with a passion. He stuck out his snake-like tongue, wriggling it at her before she scrunched her face and flapped her arms away, trying to get as far away from him as possible.
Meanwhile, Kyle was shuffling his feet, occasionally glancing at Stan beside him. They were both staring at Hermione Granger, who was already on her feet and scuffing off invisible dust from her person. Once done, she looked up and furrowed her brow, clearly bewildered at the audience surrounding her.
"Where am I exactly?" she asked hesitantly, eying each and every fandom with a critical eye. She then seemed to realize something truly dreadful, for she widened her eyes generously and gaped. "Oh! I was in the middle of a potion's test! I'm going to fail if I don't get back!"
"Will you can it Granger?" Draco's haughty voice rung from some far off corner of the hall. "We're warped to some freak-fest laden with weirdos and all you can think about is your bloody potion's test?"
Hermione glared, she didn't quite know whom she was glaring at (for she couldn't see Draco), but she glared nonetheless. She looked at Kyle, who was standing in the center of the audience, and recognition flitted briefly past her retinas. It was some sort of leader-recognition signal that all leaders seemed to come equipped with, and Kyle definitely looked like he would be some sort of leader-head in a hall filled with crazy-looking characters. Kyle simply nodded.
"I'm Kyle -," he began, but was immediately cut off by a loud crackling of electric-like energy, the same sort of sound that surely meant another guest was going to grace their presence with the audience. Then, a rather loud boom erupted around the hall, and Kyle snapped his head up.
"Oh no, not another one..."
Hur. Review please.