AN: Here it is! 50 ways to annoy everyone's favorite . . . whatever Brom is. I hope you like it!
1. Just stare at him.
2. Ask him where babies come from.
3. Watch as he gets all red.
4. Lock him in a room and make him watch every episode of Barney.
5. Cover the room in pictures of Barney.
6. Cover the room in Barney paraphernalia.
7. Fill the room with Barney dolls. You get the idea.
8. Tell him that the real reason he moved to Carvahall is because he is a stalker.
9. Stalk him to "show him what it feels like".
10. Tell everyone that he sleeps with a teddy bear.
11. When he denies this, pull out an old, ragged teddy bear and go, "What is this, then?"
12. Say his name like "Broom" instead of "Brom".
13. Ask him very loudly in a very public place whether or not he still wets the bed.
14. Remind him that he has no dragon. Over and over and over and over . . .
15. Have him listen to the same song for months straight.
16. Take his magic away and when he blames you say, "I don't see anything different."
17. Take away his pipe.
18. See if he is addicted to it.
19. Photoshop pictures of his smiling and hugging a teddy bear.
20. Put onions in his bed and when his eyes start to water, come in with a worn blanket and ask him if he wants his "blankie".
21. Turn him into a pyromaniac.
22. Introduce him to modern fire. (Bombs, firecrackers, sparklers, explosives, etc.)
23. Breath down his neck constantly.
24. Stand outside his door at night and scream bloody murder until he cracks and comes out of his room.
25. When he demands to know what you are doing, just keep screaming.
26. Point toward a blank wall.
27. If he covers your mouth to make you shut up, bite his hand.
28. When he's walking, dart around in the shadows after him humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
29. When he's trying to infiltrate the Empire's base, stand up and scream, "He's a spy trying to break in!"
30. Take pictures of him at random times (i.e. when he's eating, when he's walking, basically anytime.)
31. Use said pictures to make a shrine to Brom . . . and not a very attractive one.
32. Look him up and down and say, "Well, it's a good thing Eragon didn't inherit your looks."
33. When he asks what you mean by that, just smirk and say, "Oh, nothing."
34. Act insane.
35. Mutter about how space monkeys stole your tacos.
36. Call him Bromikins.
37. Whenever he doesn't let you go somewhere (i.e. into some random persons house) scream "Well I'm the Rider, and I say we go!"
38. Ask him if his Rider senses are tingling.
39. When he gets excited about something say, "Oh no, did mommy give you sugar this morning?"
40. Try to follow him into the bathroom and see what he says . . . if anything at all.
41. Ask him every stupid question you can think of.
42. Ask him why he's so cranky all the time.
43. Throw a huge stick at him.
44. Don't explain why you did this.
45. Die his hair neon pink.
46. Say it matches his complexion.
47. Sing random songs constantly.
48. When he's trying to concentrate on something important, start humming the theme from Jeopardy.
49. When he gets mad at you, pat him on the head and say, "Aww, that's so cute."
50. Walk away.
AN: Please review! Up next is Durza!