Whoa. It's still dark out. I roll over an look at my clock. 5:25! Why am I awake? I need to go back to sleep! This is madness! Why did I wake up?
Wait, what was that? That- that noise? What was it? It's coming from- it's coming from, oh. It's coming from Spencer's room. That explains it.
"Carly!" Spencer yells. Uh-oh. That can't be good.
"What?" I yell.
"Aaah!" he screams. "Help!"
What is he doing? I bet he lit something on fire. I better go check.
I run down the stairs quickly. Ouch! I stubbed my toe on the couch! Oh! That hurt!
"CARLY!" Spencer screams again.
"I'm coming!" I yell, and run into his room.
Oh. My. God. Spencer is levitating above the closet door, waving his hands frantically.
"Oh, Carly," he breathes, "You've come to save me!"
"What?" I ask.
"Oh- oh my God it's right behind you!" he screams.
"What Spencer? What is?" I yell. His lower lip quivers and he points behind me. Slowly, I turn around.
"AAAAH!" I shriek, and back towards Spencer. For right in front of me is a great, big, ugly troll. He is gross! Oh my gosh he's growling at me. Oh! That dude needs a breath mint.
"Hey you big fat ugly oaf!" I yell. I pick up Spencer's baseball bat and throw it as the troll's head. "What's your problem you fat, warty stinky, miserable troll?" he looks at me and growls again. Uh-oh. I just made it angrier. That can't be good. Now I'm staring at a great, big, ugly, angry troll.
What is that? I hear some muttering, or chanting, or something. I turn to my right. What? Who is that? Now there is a boy with dark hair and glasses and he's wearing- robes? He's wearing robes? Who wears robes? Um, nobody! What a geek. And on top of that he's aiming a big brown stick at Spencer and muttering chants and curses or something like that. It sounds kind of like: 'levyohsaw… levyohsaw…levyohsaw…'. What a dork. But he has a scar on his head. Now I feel kind of bad.
"GRR" comes a deep grumbling voice. Oh right. I forgot. There's a big, fat, ugly, troll behind me. I turn around. Just when I thought that it couldn't get any worse.
He has a club.
"Why are you waking me up now?" I ask as my mother as she pulls off my covers. "It's only 5:30!"
"You need to wash your feet, Freddy," she says.
"No, mom!" I say, exasperated. "I'm not going to wash my feet again!"
"Freddy, you need to wash your feet!" she insists, stamping her foot.
"No! mom, you made me wash them last night!" I remind her.
"Well-" she starts, but she is interrupted by a loud thumping noise from across the hall, followed by a scream.
I know that scream.
"Carly!" I yell, and run out the door.
"Freddy come back here!" my mother yells after me, but I ignore her. I open Carly's door and stop. Where is the noise coming from?
"Spencer! Get down!" she yells.
"I can't!" he yells. "I don't know how!"
Ah hah! Spencer's room. I bet he lit something on fire.
"I'm coming!" I yell as I run into Spencer's room. I stop as I see Spencer flying above the closet, Carly cowering at his feet. A giant troll stands near them, swinging a club. Near the troll is a little boy wearing- is he wearing robes? Man. And I thought I was a nerd. I wonder what Sam would think.
"Freddy?" Carly asks, her face puzzled. "What are you doing here?" she giggles. "And why are you in your boxers?" I look down. Oh no! I forgot to put on my pants before coming here. But that doesn't matter. I need to save Carly. "Where are your pants?" she asks.
"Carly!" I yell. "Focus! You're being attacked by a troll!"
"Right," she says, the smile leaving her face. She looks so cute when she's serious and scared.
"Now," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "I've come to save you from this monstrous creature!"
"Good luck," Carly smirks, and she starts laughing again.
"I'm going in!" I yell, and run towards the troll. I grab his leg and start pounding with my fist. The troll doesn't even move. Just keeps swinging his club.
"Try jumping on his head?" the nerdy boy suggests.
"For Carly!" I scream, taking a running start and leaping to the troll's head. Wow. I didn't know I could jump that high. I am on his back, my arms around the troll's neck.
"Now grab his club!" the nerdy boy says.
I reach out my hand, ready for the club to come flying into it. But it keeps swinging around, nowhere near my hand.
"Hurry, Freddy!" shrieks Carly.
"I'm trying!" I reply. I climb up to the top of his head and stand up.
"Careful!" screams Carly. Spencer is still hovering speechlessly above the closet.
I try to balance, but the troll keeps moving! Grr! Stay still, troll! I reach out, but- uh oh. Leaning to the left! Oh no! I'm- I'm slipping!
"Aaah!" I yell as I plummet to the floor.
Ow! What the? That hurt! Whoa! I feel dizzy, am I spinning? I lift up my head. I am spinning! I look down. I'm on top of the club!
"Hang on," the nerdy boy says. He turns and lifts his hand towards me. I hear a crash and Spencer crying out in pain. I guess he fell.
He starts chanting some kind of spell and- whoa! I'm flying upwards! Oh, now I'm upside down. What is happening?
My stomach drops as the club starts speeding towards the ground; but it isn't in motion for long. It collides with the top of the troll's head, and the troll grunts. I fall to the ground and land on my knees. Ouch! That hurts a lot!
"Freddy!" Carly hisses. I look over, and she's motioning me to come over to her. I crawl quickly towards her.
The troll rocks back and forth; grunting and moaning, until his great big eyes roll back up into his head and he falls to the ground.
For a while all of us are speechless. We stay still; staring at the troll, but Carly breaks the silence.
"Who are you?" she asks the nerdy boy.
"Harry," he says, turning to look at her. He pushes his dirty glasses farther up his nose and smiles. "Harry Potter."
"'Kay, so…" Carly says. "What are you doing here?"
"This troll escaped from Hogwarts through a port key and came here. I followed it and defeated it," he says, looking at each one of us, obviously looking for approval or congratulations. I bet he just did it to impress Carly.
"What's Hogwarts?" asked Spencer. "And how was I flying?"
"You were levitating," Harry says. Pssh. Like there's a difference. "Hogwarts is a school of witchcraft and wizardry."
"Hah," Spencer laughs. "You have a funny accent!"
"I'm from London," Harry says.
"Whoa," I say. "So you're a wizard?"
"Yes," he says proudly. In fact, he's beaming. He's glowing! Light is radiating off of him. Oh yes, he is most definitely trying to impress Carly. So typical.
"Hey guys," Sam says, walking through Spencer's room with a chili dog in her mouth. "Hey Carly, hey Fredward, hey Spence, hey geeky boy, hey big ugly thing on the floor." She walks through the room, noticing nothing. But then she stops. Good. I was hoping she wasn't so stupid she would completely not see or care about the giant troll on the floor.
She slowly turns around and walks toward the troll. Then she looks at me standing behind the troll. Then she looks at the troll again, and then me again. Good! She's putting together that I defeated the it. I defeated the troll.
"Freddy you're so stupid," she sighs. "This troll even remembered his pants." And with that she turned and left, walking into the kitchen. Ah! I forgot that I forgot to put on my pants! Oh great. This story will be around the school in no time. I can see the text message now:
Freddy…such a loser. The guy forgot to put on his pants…in public. If you would like to join my 'Freddy is a loser club', just text me back saying 'Freddy is a loser', and you're in! -Sam
I'm serious about this text. She's already sent about four of those around the school. Only they weren't about my pants.
"That-" Carly says. "That was weird."
"Sam's like that every day," I sigh.
"No, Freddy," Carly says. "I was talking about that giant troll attacking us."
"Oh," I say, feeling like a complete idiot. "Right."
"Oh, about that," Harry says. "I'm sorry. I'll get this troll and be on my way."
"No, wait," Carly says. "You can stay."
"Thank you," Harry says. "But I must be going soon."
"C'mon," Carly says. "What's, what's one little day?"
"Well," Harry says, thinking this over. Please say no, please say no, please say no…
"Yes," Harry says. "One day won't hurt."
Oh! I hate Harry already. This day will be awful. I know it.