When Love Was New Contest
Title of Entry: Diving Headlong
Your pen name: Angstgoddess003 & Ezrocksangel
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"No, bro, not a chance." He laughed. Jasper's confident dismissal made me want to punch him. I knew he'd never believe me.
"She was totally coming on to me," I declared, relishing his envy. The night air was warm and smelled like chlorine, sun screen and sweat. There was nothing better than summer. Well, other than seeing those two, voluptuous tits all squeezed up into that black bikini...
"Okay, okay. Tell me exactly what happened," he said, leaning back in his chair with semi-rapt attention.
It was regular routine for me to fill Jasper in closer to evening. If he ever woke up and came out before three in the afternoon, he might have seen this for himself, but he said evening was when "business" was best. He'd load himself up with product and shimmy in unnoticed, offering me a nod as he set up for the day behind the building.
He always missed the good shit.
I lowered my voice a little and began, "I was over at the guard station, the one by the deep end," I jerked my head backward in the direction of the pool, "And I see her get up, from her chair—"
"Wait. Was she wearing the black bikini?"
I nodded, flushing a little just thinking about it, "So she walks over—you know, taking her time—talking to Lauren and that mom with the kids that scream all the time. And she walks right up to me."
Jasper tilted his head back and flipped his hair out of his eyes. Skeptically he asked, "What'd she want?"
My back straightened in anticipation of the good stuff, and I couldn't restrain my hands' enthusiastic animation. "Well, she comes to me with this little pout on her lips and lifts her foot up on the edge of the platform and says, 'Hey Edward'—she said 'Edward,' she totally knows my name—'hey Edward do you have a band aid?'"
Jasper was sitting up now, leaning over the table, eager. "Did she bend over?" he asked, not-so-subtly salivating as I knew he was fabricating the vision for himself.
"Yeah, she bent over, her tits are fucking huge. They were like…" and I gestured with my hand, "this far from my face."
"Nice…" he muttered under his breath with foggy eyes. We spent a moment silently contemplating supple skin, round ass cheeks, and curvaceous hips. Finally, Jasper sighed. "Rosalie Hale," and then looked to me with a serious expression. "She is so fucking hot."
I nodded in agreement, but Rosalie wasn't just hot. She was every dude's wet dream, the embodiment of lust, the fire of our every loin. A year older, dating the football captain, and totally out of our league, she was unattainable—at best. But ogling her ass all summer was one of the only perks of this shitty summer job, and I planned to take full advantage of that.
Jasper reached in his pocket and pulled out a lighter and a clear plastic bag, "So, did you get her a band aid? God, tell me you touched her foot!" he laughed knowing he would give anything to touch any portion of her flawless skin.
I groaned and ran my hand through my hair, slouching sourly in my seat. "No dude, you will not believe what happened…"
Jasper's eyes widened with interest, "What?"
My eyes flickered across the pool to the girls sitting on the picnic table and narrowed. "One guess."
His eyes followed mine and he began laughing hysterically. "No fucking way!" he insisted, but it was far from being unbelievable.
It was my curse, had been my curse, ever since puberty.
"Oh yeah, just as I was getting out of my chair to tend to her needs, it happened." I laughed too, but it was a bitter, frustrated sound. I knew when I emerged onto the pool deck that first day of work that I was totally fucked.
Because shewas working here too.
Jasper and I both took another look across the pool, toward the two girls laughing innocently together. Then he raised one eyebrow, shook his head, and sighed sympathetically, "Cockblocker Swan strikes again."
I eyed the little kid by the side of the pool. He wasn't quite at the edge, but close enough to warrant my attention. Shifting my focus to his mother, who was gossiping with a friend instead of watching her spawn as he roamed the pool deck freely, I smirked as she sucked greedily on the water bottle between her lips.
I'd bet Jasper twenty bucks there was vodka in that bottle and not water.
I focused back on Junior and muttered quietly under my breath, "Don't fall in, don't fall in, don't fall in…" as I watched him follow a yellow and green rubber ball closer to the edge.
I really didn't want to get in that pool.
It was ridiculous of course. I was a lifeguard and a good swimmer at that, but after years of competitive swimming and training and general messing around at the pool, I was over it. Kids pissed in that pool, I knew it. Sure, they tried to play it off by going to a corner or something, but I wasn't stupid. I knew the look. I could spot the "Relieved Pissing" expression from any point on this property. The glazed eyes, the faraway look.
No. I wanted my chair, my umbrella, my whistle and dry land. Dry, glorious, piss-free land.
I was leaning now, poised for action if I absolutely, positively had to take it. I kept the kid in my sights, but still hoped his mother would get a clue and keep him from drowning. I had on my favorite hat and really didn't want to get it wet.
"Damn it," I eventually cursed and began calculating how many steps he had before he fell in—how much longer I could sit here and watch before I did anything. Fortunately, before I could fully complete my calculations, she was there—in her annoying red bathing suit, with her annoying ponytail and her annoying smile on her annoying face, saving Junior from falling in the annoying pool.
I rolled my eyes dramatically behind my sunglasses and repositioned myself to watch the whole deck trying desperately to ignore her, which was ultimately futile.
Bella Swan was the bane of my summer existence.
I'd known Bella my whole life. She had always been there, on the fringe at least. She was smart, I guess. We shared classes, and she was okay,she just…
"Edward, I'm getting a drink, would you like one?" Bella's timid voice disrupted my thoughts.
She just hovered.A lot. Around me. All the time.
She was squinting up at me through the sun, a big glob of white sunscreen plastered all over the bridge of her nose.
Good grief. As if the antiquated red one-piece bathing suit wasn't bad enough. All the other female lifeguards wore the sporty two-pieces, but no. Not Bella.
She wasn't like any of those other girls. I'd watched them all over the years blossom and grow and change. Lauren's chest was the first to fill out in our class, so naturally, every dude wanted her. Then slowly, all the other chicks developed and it was hormone central. One year they all looked like boys, and the next, they looked like girls.
But Bella had always been the runt: too short, too small, not athletic enough, too smart and nerdy, and a pain in the ass.
Five years later, she looked exactly the same.
I fought the grimace that threatened to spoil my face. "Umm… no thanks, Bella. I'm good." I looked away in dismissal before turning back to my job, watching and waiting for something to happen. Something that wasn't Bella Swan following me around like an eager shadow.
"Okay," she squeaked nervously, and I could see her fingers wringing in my periphery, shoulders scrunched up high to her ears. "Well, let me know, because I'm totally happy to get you something while Alice and I go on break." She chuckled a little, retreating slowly as if I might suddenly change my mind.
I tilted my head slightly, so as to not be rude, but then ignored her until she went away. It was really the only way to handle her. This was usually an effective method, or at least effective enough to feel as though my social life was quasi-normal. In school, the halls were crowded enough to lose her and just pretend that she blended into the burgundy lockers.
That was... until summer began. Until, she got the same job as me. Until Jasper decided that Bella's best friend would make for the perfect summer fling.
Now, instead of having to stomach her on the fringe, she was as good as in the circle. In my circle.
The day progressed in the usual fashion. Between the three of us—me, Alice and Bella—we shifted around the pool, breaking up fights, yelling at kids, checking the pool levels, all the stuff you do when you take on the glamorous job of public pool lifeguard. I kept one eye on my work, one on Rosalie Hale's browning inner thigh, and both of them away from my co-workers as much as possible, although Bella made it difficult—to say the least.
Bella was predictable. I could expect her offers for assistance whenever something came up. To most people, that kind of constant availability would seem polite or endearing, and it honestly was. This is what made it impossibly more annoying. I couldn't ever be rude or mean to her for simply being too nice. I just had to grin and bear it.
Everyone knew my plight with Bella existed. Every single person in my school, and the town for that matter, could all recall the day in which Eric found her tattered TrapperKeeper, all marked up with "I Edward Cullen,"and"Mrs. Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen."
I was so humiliated, a little scrawny seventh grader cringing away from the laughter and mortification of so much attention.
They might have blown it off after a few months had Bella not been so persistent in her awkwardly transparent attempts to capture my eye. Every February when the school did Valentine fundraisers, I could always count on an anonymous card and carnation to be delivered to my homeroom class. They were usually sweet and short, nothing too creepy or anything, but... everyone knew they were from her. And that wasn't even the worst thing. She... flirted.
No, you couldn't call what Bella did flirting. She was a total spaz.
I always want to be embarrassed for her whenever she tried to flutter her eyelashes at me—but ended up losing a contact. When she tried to pop her hips but ended up tripping over gravel, or when she tried to flick her hair back but got her fingers tangled up.
But I can never be embarrassed for Bella because I'm too fucking busy being embarrassed for myself.
People notice, like we're some form of adorable entertainment, and Bella... well, I honestly didn't know whether she was truly ignorant about the mockery or simply didn't care. But I noticed, and I cared, and now she was just this stigma that the entire population of this town attached to my name. I could never be "Edward, the Swimmer," or "Edward, the Straight-A Student," or "Edward, the Rich Kid with a Fully Developed Six Pack," I was forever known as "Edward, Bella's Crush."
Unfortunately, Bella appeared to have some kind of Edward's-Got-A-Raging-Boner-Dar, and it was her job to shut that shit down. Immediately. Like the day I asked Kate Denali to the Junior/Senior Prom, and I was sweating profusely at her locker, mustering up the courage. Or the time I'd managed to get Jane Volturi in the backseat of my Volvo during my free period between Biology and Music after weeks of cajoling. Or the time I was this close to asking out that chick with the big eyes and long legs that worked at the ice cream shop in town—the one who had been giving me an extra scoop for a month, and smiled at me when I passed by the window.
Every fucking time.
Bella show up dropping hints to get me to ask her prom and, subsequently, I'd have to come up with an excuse for just not going whatsoever. Or she'd be walking too near to me and trip, spilling all of her books and papers and doodles of Edward Cullen all over the floor. Or she'd decide to appear at the same ice cream stand as me at the exact time that I planned to ask Extra Scoop Girl for her phone number.
One more year, I reminded myself as I wound down for the day. One more year, and I'd be rid of this town and Bella-fucking Swan-for good.
"Have you seen this rise in oil?" Jasper asked as he took his seat at our table. Yes. It was our table. I hated to get all fucking junior high and shit, but there were no girls allowed.
So what the fuck was he doing dragging Alice behind him? She took a seat next to him and stretched out, throwing her arm over his seat-back and offering me a small smile.
Jasper whipped out his weed and started rolling a joint with no apropos, as was custom, since the pool was so bare this time of evening and most of the staff were his clientele.
"It's getting fucking ridiculous," he continued in a grumble, brows pinched together as he focused his fingers around the rolling paper. "Do you have any idea what the rise in petroleum does to plastic baggy prices? Fucking inflation. People are going to have to start reusing their baggies. Do you think they'll do that?" He looked to Alice, and then me.
We both shook our heads.
Jasper was saving money for Mr. Berty's Impala. It was a total clunker and piece of shit, but for some reason, Jasper had nurtured a boner for that car since he first set eyes on it, four years ago. Mr. Berty had some kind of ridiculous emotional attachment to it—we figured it was the car the crotchety old fucker first got laid in—so he wouldn't give it up cheap. If he only knew how Jasper was funding the purchase of that car, he would probably dip it in bronze and mount it in his yard for eternity.
"Jasper, you make fifteen percent profit on every transaction, I think you can spring for a fucking Ziploc bag." I muttered, snatching the joint from his hands and pulling out my lighter. I gave him the place to deal, kept him supplied with paraphernalia, and even got him customers at times. No way was I recycling baggies for his ass.
Just as I was about to light up, I felt this weird, familiar, hovering presence over my shoulder. I sighed and closed my eyes, counting to ten so I wouldn't say something I'd inevitably regret.
"Hi, Bella!" Alice gushed from across the table, bouncing a little.
These two were always together, so I was not one bit surprised. I narrowed my eyes at my best friend and current Judas who nodded graciously at the chair next to me for her to sit in.
I wanted to wipe that amused grin off his stupid face with my fist.
I lit up and inhaled, passing it to Jasper, who then politely handed it to Alice. I was only mildly curious as to what Bella would do. I didn't think this was her scene, but really, what she did on her own time was beyond me. At least I didn't have to worry about her snitching us out. No way in hell she'd ever throw me under the bus.
Alice offered it to Bella who politely declined, which was cool.
More for me.
But I was having an issue with Bella's creeping proximity. I was a little stoned, and Bella was just sitting there, her forearm two inches from me and... oh my God... if she scooted her chair any closer to mine I was going to just... lose my shit.
Everyone was quiet for a moment, feeling the fog creeping into our brains, except... well, Bella who was frankly just killing my buzz.
"Edward," she said, her voice all meek and quiet. She was shifting and being fidgety, and as a result, my neck was beginning to sweat. "I saw you swim the other night—you were really amazing." Her voice had a trace of awed adoration that made me want to stab my eyes out.
I couldn't argue with her, though. Really, I was pretty amazing and dominated that sport. "Thanks," I mumbled, toying with my lighter and avoiding her gaze. Good God, she was probably blushing. I suppressed a groan. "We kicked the other team's ass."
Alice rolled her eyes, at me, and said, "So did you hear about this Fourth of July party and Moonlight Swim? I think we all have to work, but we can leave for the fireworks afterward." She punctuated this with a sidelong glance at Judas and licked her lips.
Bella perked up at this, her back straightening and that wretched forearm dangerously close to touching me. "Yes! I'm so excited. I think it's going to be a lot of fun." She turned back toward me and did the creepy fluttery eyelash thing, resting her chin on her palm. "Edward, do you think you'll go to the fireworks?" She was staring at me. Hard. From the edges of my vision, I could see her dart her eyes to Alice, who offered her this sickening, encouraging grin, and right back to me. The bouncing of her knee beneath the table betrayed her anxiety, and I knew that I had to be nice.
Her expectant gaze on my face made me stammer, "Umm..." I looked to Jasper for some assistance, but he was being a dick, per usual—smiling and making eyes between Bella and me. I definitely was going to have to kick his ass when we left tonight. Inhaling a steeling breath, I evaded, "Well... yeah, I'm going to have to play that by ear. You know, see how my schedule is..." I inwardly rolled my eyes at this. I was a sixteen-year-old dude, living in Forks, working at the public pool during the summer of boredom.
My schedule looked something like: wake up, jack off, take a shower, eat, work, get stoned, eat, go home, jack off, eat, sleep.
For most girls that would be enough. I was pretty good at sending out signals, and most human beings knew how to take a hint. Again. Bella wasn't most human beings. Judging by the moony look on her face, you'd think I'd just agreed to father her firstborn or some shit. I sighed and leaned back, closing my eyes and wishing she would just go away.
The others talked for a while about work and how Jasper was close to reaching the goal to purchase his car. Eventually, it turned quiet.
I glanced up at Jasper who had begun running his hands over Alice's leg, and Alice, who was giggling into his ear. Then I glanced over to Bella, and her glazed-over eyes were glued to the lighter I was nervously playing with, and I just... had to go.
"I... forgot. I have some... stuff to do at home. For my mom, and... yeah, so... seeyouguyslater." With that, I lurched out of my seat, ignoring the way Bella flinched away and followed my retreating back with her gaze. I gathered my stuff and bolted out the front gates of the pool, relieved to finally be free of her dreamy stare.
I dropped myself into the empty white lounge chair next to Jasper, stretched my legs out, and propped my hands behind my sweaty head.
"How long you gonna make that kid hang over there," he asked, and I followed his gaze to the punk I had put in "time out." My preferred method was to have the offender hang from the chain link fence for one to five minutes, depending on the crime. This kid earned a fiver.
I checked my watch and reclined my head back, soaking in some umbrella-free sun—I only had a fifteen minute break. "He's got two more minutes."
Jasper laughed so hard his chair shook, "No way he makes it. Look at his arms, they're quivering already."
I shrugged. "He does it, or he has to start again. They know the rules. Little shit did a cannon ball intentionally trying to get me wet." Not to mention, he was one of top five offending pool pissers in this shitheap."Payback sucks." I sighed, trying to suppress a smile as I watched the kid bend his knees and elbows in a futile attempt to find a comfortable position.
Of course, Bella and Alice disapproved of my methods. They preferred to make the little shits sit in lounge chairs, take away their deep ends privileges, and make them "Think about what they'd done wrong." We all had our own ways of dealing with the kids. Mine was just more effective. I always knew whenever Bella or Alice put a kid in their "time out," I'd be seeing him or her for my own version, very soon.
We heard a car pull up and quickly glanced out behind the fence we sat closest to. Jasper had a drive-up service in the parking lot of the pool. He put a baggie of weed into a fast food cup near the basketball courts, and the buyer would pick it up, leave cash in its place, and depart a few bills lighter and a few buds heavier. I asked once how it was possible that Jasper never got ripped off. But he was the quintessential drug dealer that everybody loved. There was no reason to rip him off, other than that of petty thievery. He provided good product, stayed away from the elementary school, and was the only supplier in town. If he had to cease his dealings, Forks would likely go bone dry.
In short, if you pissed him off, you and the entire town were shit out of luck. Apparently, that's the secret to an airtight honor system.
"You seem to have an increase in business this week—what gives?" I asked while watching Tyler hop out of Mike's beat up Honda and make a less-than-covert exchange.
Jasper grimaced, "Alice is all worked up over this Fourth of July thing in a couple of weeks. I was hoping to buy some of those back-shelf fireworks from the stand on the corner of Market Street."
I exhaled heavily at the mention of the Fourth, and sat up so I could look him in the eye. "Look dude, I know Alice wants us all to hang that night, but Cockblocker is really getting to me. I don't know if I can do it. The last thing I need is for her to think we're going to have some magical kiss under the fireworks that night." A disturbing image of Bella's lips way to close to my face made me almost gag.
Jasper pushed his sunglasses back into his thick, blond hair, and rolled his eyes, "She's really not..." He swallowed. "...that bad Edward. I think she's kinda... cute." He couldn't even speak the words without laughing, little snorts emerging through his clenched teeth. When his snorts subsided, he implored, "I mean, you can hang out with her for one night, right?"
I offered him a blank stare, speechless.
Fucking Alice.I knew this was about him wanting to get into her pants so badly that he could taste it, and for some reason, I'd become an essential factor in that success. Scowling, I insisted, "No. She is that bad–and no, I can't hang out with her for one night." I darted my eyes across the pool to the cluster of girls huddled in a group of tanned skin and too-tight bikinis. I mumbled under my breath, "I have other plans, anyway."
Jasper narrowed his eyes at my statement, "What plans? I didn't know about any plans."
Indignantly, I protested, "Fuck Jasper, you don't know everything I do." Then I huffed, "Fine you do, but... well, it's not exactly firm," I explained, sniffing and wiping my nose with the back of my forefinger as I covertly nodded in the direction of a particularly busty brunette. "I'm hoping to hook up with Charlotte during the fireworks."
Glancing in the direction of the blue bikini, he nodded his approval, "Charlotte's hot, but... Alice is going to be pissed," he sighed, disheartened as he realized that I'd never sacrifice an evening with Charlotte for one with Cockblocker Swan.
"That's your issue to deal with, not mine." I shot back, tired of being forced into situations in which Bella was present. I needed some room to spread my arms or wings or... seed, or... fucking, whatever.
Jasper sighed. "Look man, I get you, I do. She isn't your brand of girl, but she's not taking the hints you're laying down." He retrieved his water bottle from beneath his chair and took a long swig before continuing conclusively, "I think you may need to be a little more direct with her."
My jaw dropped. "More direct? I ignore her completely! What else can I do?" I asked incredulously.
"I think you have to tell her, straight out, that you're just not interested. Otherwise," He puffed out his cheeks and squinted, wrinkling his nose. "She and Alice will have us in a double wedding before the year is out."
As if on cue, Alice pranced over with a bright smile for Jasper and a nod to me. I was still mulling over this "Be more direct" business. I mean, shit. I wasn't an asshole. I didn't want to crush her soul or anything. I just... wanted her to quietly back the hell off.
Alice intoned, "Your break's almost over Edward," before she added, "Oh! Jasper and I thought it would be really great if we could all go to the fireworks together. You know, maybe have a picnic-slash-party afterward?" Her cheeky hedging only verified my earlier suspicions. Jasper had seen this coming.
He hissed softly, shaking his head.
I groaned internally. Alice was a sweet girl, and I liked her. Hell, I liked her with Jasper, but she needed to get out of my damned business. I responded in flippancy, "Yeah, that sounds like fun, but I'm still not sure if I can commit to that."
"Can't commit to what?" asked Bella as she sat at the end of my chair. It kind of heaved forward a bit, drawing me to her. I curled my fists and looked away from her pasty skin, gnashing my teeth.
No one responded for a moment, which would have made any normal person feel uncomfortable and intrusive, but Bella was as clueless as always.
Alice finally spoke, her jaw clenched as she shot daggers in my direction. "Edward apparently has 'plans,'" the word "plans" was accentuated by over dramatic air quotes by Alice's tiny, yet scary hands, "And he won't be coming with us to the fireworks."
I removed my sunglasses and rubbed my eyes furiously. "Yeah, sorry about that—you guys have fun, though." I stood to return to my position at the lifeguard stand. I had to pass Bella between the chairs when I left, and against my will, made eye contact with her as I shuffled past.
What I saw was a little perplexing.
She looked heartbroken her shoulders all slumped down as she gnawed at her lip. Her brown eyes were suddenly dull and weary. Defeated. I knew she liked me, but... really?
I only made it about two steps away before I heard Bella's flat voice, "You're really not coming?"
I hesitated in my retreat and, without turning around, clenched my jaw and shook my head negatively. She didn't respond, so I continued, climbing up into my seat, my eyes focused and scanning the pool. That stupid jack-off from earlier was on the diving board and looked like he may actually be considering a repeat of his cannon ball. I flipped up my sunglasses and narrowed my eyes in warning, smirking when he scurried off the board and into the shallow end.
"It's just that—" she carried on.
I looked down, stunned.
Bella was standing beneath me, chin ducked and blushing furiously, wringing her little hands and just rambling on like a damn fool. "—I was going to make some cherry pie since I noticed you really liked it when I brought it to the Memorial Day picnic at Alice's house. I mean, it's frozen, not from scratch or anything, I'm... not that great of a cook, but I like to—"
She went on and on, and at that instant I was just...done. I spared a glance at Jasper who was nodding his head seriously, encouraging me to do it. I tried to ignore Alice, whose face had gone contrastingly pale. I took a deep breath and cut her off "Look Bella, I really appreciate it. I do, but well, it's just that...I don't like you," I puffed out my cheeks, exhaled loudly, and continued in a breath, "At all. Ever."
Her skin turned positively pink, eyes widening and filling with sparkling tears. I felt a little shitty, but I really had no choice—she had it coming.
I watched, curious as she began stammering with pinched brows, "I know you don't—notlike that. We're just... friends. I'm not the kind of girl you see like that," and her eyes moved accusingly toward the group of girls I'd been checking out before, "But we can still hang out, right?"
I scrubbed my face with my hands, emitting a growl of frustration. "Damn it, Bella!" I exploded. My chest heaved and I could feel eyes on me, but it just spewed forth, the dam bursting. "No, we're not friends. We're nothing. Don't look at me, don't talk to me, don't make me anything... just back off and stay out of my fucking way!"
It was mean, and I'd raised my voice so that most of the present swimmers were watching my tantrum. But I simply kept my eyes glued to the pool, retrieved my hat from beneath the seat, and pulled it tightly to my ears.
I definitely wasn't making eye contact with Alice, who I could feel shooting laser beams of hatred at me. Sinking into my seat, I ignored the sound of Bella's limp and softly retreating footsteps. I also ignored those of Alice sprinting across the pool to wrap her swift arms around her, before I could spot them entering the locker room through my periphery.
As shitty as it was, and mean and wrong and everything I had ever been told not to do, I felt a sudden weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe Jasper had been right. Maybe direct was the only effective way of managing Bella.
And I couldn't have been any more direct than that.
The next couple weeks passed in a blissful Bella Swan free environment. Sure, she came to work most days, but she kept her distance. I worked, smoked out with Jasper like always, ignored Alice (who was always either under his arm, on his lap, or stuck to his face), and generally... enjoyed my summer in a way I hadn't expected. With Bella out of my way, I even made some headway with Charlotte, who agreed to share a blanket with me at the firework celebration on the fourth.
Shit was going great.
"Hey, Edward." Jasper nudged my arm with his elbow while I sat next to him during one of my breaks. "I think that bikini mom is checking you out." He nodded to the corner of the pool where the "Bikini Moms" sat during the day. A couple were pretty hot, but there were some that just tried way too hard.
"Which one?" I asked, glancing in their direction with semi-interest.
"That one in the leopard print—you know, the one that gave me a piece of cake the other day after her kid's birthday party." He licked his lips in memory.
I knew exactly who he was referring to and smirked. "No way, she freaks me out. That bellybutton piercing is not a good look on her." I looked down the row and gestured discretely, "I wouldn't mind getting a lesson or two from that one though." Jasper laughed and nodded knowingly. We both fantasized about the little blond woman with the huge rack and big sunglasses that was constantly bitching out her kids and any other kid that got within a ten foot radius of her. She looked feisty—and I liked it.
"Shhh," he hissed under his breath, stifling a grin as he asked in a louder voice, "Hey, baby, your shift over?"
I peeked over my shoulder to see Alice walking over, irritation evident on her face.
"No, I'm going to have to work a double today, Bella just called in," she explained, wedging herself between the table and onto Jasper's lap. I figured he could just skip the whole putting-on-pants thing every morning. Alice was usually covering his crotch anyway.
I furrowed my brow, thinking over the last week. "What—that's like, two days this week? What's her deal anyway?" It wasn't like her to slack on something as important as employment. It affected everyone who worked here, me included.
At the mention of Bella's name, a panicked expression overcame Jasper's face. He fervently began shaking his head behind Alice's back, mouthing, "Abort! Abort! Abort!"
She narrowed her dark eyes, fingers clenched so tightly around Jasper's hand that I could see the whites of her knuckles. "She's been out three days, asshole," she growled, her lips curling up into a delicate sneer. "And three the week before. I know you're happy she's not around so much, but really, Edward, it would be nice if you noticed something around here—other than guessing which one of those women wants to go Desperate Housewife on your dick." She spared Jasper an accusing glance, and he swallowed heavily, betraying his own perverted guilt.
"So what's her deal? I mean..." I paused as it suddenly occurred to me... "She's not still upset about what I said, right? Because... I apologized the next day."
Alice threw her hands in the air and screeched, "That was not an apology!"
"Yes, it was!" I defended, growing a little indignant, since I had clearly swallowed my pride in an honest attempt to smooth things over.
A little bit, anyway.
Jasper buried his face into Alice's flushed neck and groaned, muttering, "No way, dude. I heard it. You said 'I really didn't want to be so rude to you yesterday. Must be this heat.'" Then he glanced up at me from her shoulder, insisting, "You didn't even sound sorry."
My eyes darted between them, incredulous. "See, this just proves my point!" I seethed, brows pinching together angrily. "She's pissed at me, and now you all think it'smy fault she hasn't been to work. That is totally not fair." If Bella Swan couldn't find the balls to walk in here, fulfill her responsibility, and give me the much-deserved cold shoulder, then she was to blame.
"Edward," Alice spoke calmly and with a hint of importance in her tone. Meeting my gaze, she lifted her chin, almost peering down her nose at me as she declared, "Contrary to what you may believe, not everything is about you."
I gaped at her for a split second and then pushed myself out of the chair, tossing Jasper a bitter glare, as I went to finish my duties to prove once and for all that I wasn't the self-absorbed dickhead they were making me out to be.
I considered taking Alice's extra shift to punctuate this point, but I had important things to do, and... she just really pissed me off.
When my shift was up, I clocked out and prepared myself to go above and beyond the call of duty. I took the short ride to Bella's side of town, where I knew she'd lived her whole life. Her father was the Chief of Police which, not going to lie, kind of freaked me out. But unlike some people, I had a pair, and I was out to prove myself.
As I pulled up to the small, two-story house, I reined my determination in a bit. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I was sorry about being an ass, but I wasn't sorry about the message conveyed. Still, a mission was a mission.
I marched up to her door and it was yellow. I wondered who the fuck painted a door yellow? I had a white door. White doors were normal and ordinary. I liked our door. The Hales had a red door, but that made sense. Yellow, however, was not a very 'door' color.
Yellow doors were decidedly gay.
Okay, I was definitely a little nervous. I'd never considered crow to be particularly tasty. Stifling a grimace, I knocked on the gay, yellow door, and only had to wait a few seconds for it to open. There Bella stood, in all her scrawny, pasty, flat-chested glory.
"What?" she asked, her voice a dull inflection. I wasn't certain what I expected. I couldn't remember any other time I'd willingly talked to Bella, but I figured—given her blatant obsession with me—that this unsolicited visit had to be the equivalent of opening her door to Ed McMahon, Publisher's Clearing House balloons, and a big fat check or something, and yet, she did not look on the verge of breaking into dance.
Swallowing, I began, "I heard you called in and I just wanted to apologize for being so harsh the other day." It was entirely sincere, and I inwardly scoffed, mentally mocking Alice for even considering me self-absorbed. "I mean, I don't want what I said to affect you, or your paycheck, or...whatever."
"Oh," she replied, one hand still gripping the knob. We stood in silence for a moment, and she was just staring at me. This wasn't out of the norm for her or anything, but her eyes just looked so...empty. It was the first time I realized they were brown. It seemed fitting for her. "Well, if that's all," she eventually said, and then tried the close the door.
In my face.
My hand shot out to stop the gay, yellow door from closing. "Wait!" I demanded, shifting my weight forward as she turned and huffed at me. "So... are you going to come to work, or what?" I asked, a little annoyed that my valiant apology wasn't quite going according to plan.
She kind of quirked one cheek up, cocking her head to the side as she answered coldly, "No. I'm not going into work." She held something in her idle hand, a jar of some sort, and was wearing a pair of those long, yellow rubber gloves. Her eyes were all red and puffy with a hint of purple underneath, which stood out in against her chalky pallor. Three weeks working in the sun, and she hadn't tanned one bit.
I shoved my hands into the pockets of my shorts and slid back on the heels of my flip flops. Silence settled between us. I looked a little closer at Bella as she stared at me, clearly waiting for me to leave, and it looked as though her already bloodshot eyes were filling with tears, sparkling at the rim. Upon realizing my notice of this, she began to abruptly shut the door once again. For some reason, I found myself slapping my palm across the yellow paint to stop it from closing.
Bella sighed, running the back of her gloved hand under her nose as she quietly said, "What do you want from me Edward? Because you have made it perfectly clear you aren't interested in being my friend, and really, if you can't offer me that, then I have nothing more to say to you."
I have no idea how long I stood there, processing this information. At some point I realized my mouth was hanging open and I snapped it shut before turning to leave.
But she continued, "It's not like I have anything to offer you."
I hesitantly turned back to her, hands in the air with a maniac grin on her face.
"I can't even walk without falling or talk without stuttering or—" Her eyes grew suddenly furious, crinkling at the edges as her foot shot out to slam into the door frame repeatedly. "—or load the stupid fucking dishwasher without breaking a dish or do the laundry without bleaching the darks and coloring the whites, or... open a pickle jar because I don't know how to do that stupid thing where you tap it on the counter... or... or..." Her assault on the door jamb ceased, and she seethed at it, nose all wrinkled up. "Or be Renee-fucking-Swan because she is nothing but a sleazy, heartless harpy!"
Again. Me with the gaping.
When she was done kicking the wood and had finally come down from her momentary outburst, she looked exhausted. I supposed I could have just left and accepted that Bella was a little off her rocker. I probably could have taken advantage of the fact that something was obviously occurring in her life, far more important than Edward Cullen coming to her doorstep to apologize. I probably could have done all of that, but... Instead, I rolled my eyes, took the five steps to where she stood, and gently plucked the pickle jar from her yellow grasp. It opened beneath my strength with a resounding "pop." Opened, I placed it back in her hands, offered a wry smile, turned, and walked away.
It was the least I could do, but she was shit out of luck with the dishes and the laundry.
I listened to the sounds of firecrackers echoing off the houses throughout the neighborhood. The main event was over. The remaining festivities came from sub-groups of kids who'd managed to get their hands on some low-grade explosives.
I stumbled over a bump in the asphalt and used a nearby car hood to steady my feet. It was the side effect of having too many red, white, and blue Jell-O shots at the picnic.
After closing up the pool, I traveled to the park and had spotted Charlotte waiting for me from a distance. She was beautiful and wickedly hot in her red, sparkly halter top and faded denim mini-skirt. She greeted me with an eager hug and pushed two shots into my hands, downing four for herself. By the time the first lights filled the air, she'd been lying on her stomach across the blanket, pushing her boobs into just the most fan-fucking-tastic cleavage I had ever had the pleasure of ogling (excluding Rosalie Hale). As a special bonus, her skirt had pulled up high enough for me to see her matching red American flag panties.
I'd simply lay by her side during the show, sneaking berry-flavored kisses from her blue-tinted mouth. I whispered quietly, scandalously into her ear about all the things we could've done in the back seat of my car, which was still parked over at the pool. But as my nose had been trailing behind her ear, my hand having inched closer to the bare skin of her back, a solid shadow had suddenly filled the space where we'd been "watching" the fireworks display.
The next part had gone in slow motion as I'd looked up to protest and realized with horror, that a man bearing a strong resemblance to Charlotte was reaching down and pulling her from my side. He dragged her ass away from the park so quickly, that all I'd be able to remember come morning would be a flash of red sparkly motion.
I brought my hands over my ears as the sound thundered through the night. The force of the explosion almost jolted me off my feet and out of my memory of the disaster my night had become.
Momentary alarm filled me until I saw the puff of smoke filtering up from behind the elementary school, beckoning me closer. I trudged through the parking lot, past the swing sets, and was surprised to find Jasper, smiling like the Cheshire Cat with a giant rocket in one hand and a lighter in the other. He was surrounded by a group of kids, guys mostly, who were happily encouraging him to light it up and blow off his hands.
Alice, Bella and some other girls were huddled on top of the monkey bars, sandaled feet dangling below. I wasn't exactly surprised to see Bella in their company, but I was shocked to see was the joint squeezed between her two fingers and the glazed look in her eyes.
Jasper noticed my approach and shouted jubilantly, "Hey Edward, come hold this while I light it," waving the white and red rocket in my direction.
I shook my head. No way in hell was I letting Jasper burn my eyebrows off. Again.
"Your loss, bro. Hey, Newton! Get your ass over here and hold this rocket." He directed, and I watched Mike with much amusement as he jumped at the opportunity to get his face blown up. Idiot.
"So when did Cockblocker start smoking up?" I asked, again sparing a glance at the girls passing the joint between them, giggling excitedly. Bella swayed backward a bit, Alice swiftly catching her arm before she fell off.
I exhaled loudly upon Alice's quick save, realizing belatedly that I had been holding my breath. I figured, the last thing I wanted to do tonight was taketwo people to the hospital. I was more than convinced that at least one of the fuckers to my right was headed that way before the night was over.
Jasper was too involved with his explosives to offer a response, but Tyler sighed in his place, answering, "My mom drank a whole bottle of schnapps a day for three weeks when my dad walked out. People do crazy shit when bad stuff comes along." He pulled his shoulders up into a small shrug.
I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or my general idiocy, but I had no idea what he was talking about. "Huh?"
Tyler rolled he eyes at me and explained in a low voice, "Bella, man. Her mom left her dad a couple weeks ago. Apparently, she'd been fuckin' around with some baseball player she met in Seattle." I furrowed my brow, silently considering the meltdown I'd witnessed at Bella's doorstep days prior. Tyler looked once again to Bella, her head lolled back, palms gripping the bars as she stared up at the sky, and concluded with a frown, "Like I said, people will do all kinds of things to make themselves feel better."
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. I settled on the playground wall with the other guys and watched Jasper blow stuff up. He grew more creative with each turn, and I grew more contemplative of Bella and the situation with her mother. Everything made more sense the more I considered it, and I wondered if maybe Alice hadn't been right about me believing I was the center of the universe. Obviously, I was completely off of Bella Swan's radar.
By midnight, everyone had left. Jasper and I went to find the girls, still perched up on the monkey bars, smiling goofy, shit-faced grins.
"Jasper, I think I'm stuck," Alice whined playfully, wiggling her honky-tonk butt around in the gap between the bars. Jasper poked her from beneath, eliciting a squeal, but climbed up to pull her out.
Bella and I engaged in an awkward stare. Things had been strange since I'd gone to her house. She didn't seem angry, just indifferent and distant. She came to work more regularly, falling back into her predictable routine, but her oppressive hovering had completely ceased. She only regarded me when work-related situations forced her to, and even then, the little spark of desire that once filled her eyes upon meeting mine had dulled into a flat, brown sadness. I guess now, I understood why.
"Do you need some help?" I asked, offering her my hands from below. I resisted an urge to peek cautiously at Alice in the event that she may have noticed my politeness. It was doubtful though, as I could hear Jasper trying to suck her face off from where I stood, arms extended to Bella.
She seemed hesitant, but at the same time, resigned to the fact that her ass was wedged tightly between the bars and she was too wasted to even consider dismounting on her own. She sighed, asking softly, "Please? Otherwise, I may be up here all night."
I helped her out of the bars, clutching her small waist and lowering her easily to the ground. Unable to avoid it, my fingers slid underneath the hem of her shirt and made contact with the stretched skin of her hips. Her skin was soft, and I held her for a moment longer than appropriate before I snatched my hands away and stepped back, thanking God that she didn't even seem the least bit phased.
Alice and Jasper removed their faces from one another, and several hazy minutes later, we all made it to the car. Or truck. Apparently, they'd ridden with Bella, believing that she'd be the designated driver. One look at her bloodshot eyes and wavering steps, and we all determined that she was fairly toasted.
"I can drive," Jasper announced. "I'm actually pretty sober. I didn't wanna' get wasted and risk this pretty face." He puckered his lips dramatically to Alice, who giggled.
Bella agreed, but before we all climbed in, Jasper stopped me and pulled me to the side a ways. He cautioned a glance over his shoulder before speaking in a low whisper, "Look, it sits three across. And there is no way in hell Alice is sitting on your lap, so be prepared."
I considered his words and began vehemently shaking my head, "No way. I'll sit in the back," I hissed, shooting the passenger side door where Bella and Alice stood an anxious glance.
"No," he demanded. "Get your ass in the cab. The girls will get all emo if you bail and sit in the back. An emo Alice means I can't put my hands up her shirt when we drop her off at her house, and I have to listen to what a dick-head she thinks you are. So, Alice will sit in the middle, and Bella can sit in your lap. It's ten minutes, punk. Get over it."
I groaned my disapproval but ultimately climbed into the passenger seat, because he was right, and I was stoned and who really cared if Bella sat in my lap for the ten minute car ride? No big deal, I told myself as I brushed past her. I heaved myself in next to Alice, who was already straddling the hump. Bella's eyes were wary as she stood and toed the gravel outside the passenger door. I simply nodded and helped her in, pulling her onto my lap and avoiding that patch of hip-skin I'd touched before.
"Sorry If I'm too heavy," she apologized quietly and offered me a warm blush and a hint of a smile.
I snorted at the ridiculousness of her statement. "Bella, you weigh less than my dog, I think I can manage it." I kept my hands away from her though—one on the window and the other tucked firmly beneath my thigh and away from either girl.
After explaining to Jasper how to double pump the clutch to get the truck started, Bella splayed her palms over the dashboard and kept her eyes forward, tense with each lurch and bounce the truck made over the deteriorating roads of Forks. I could feel her muscles shifting and tensing against my thighs, and it was... it was Bella. It was Bella. It was Bella.
Every time we hit a bump or turned a corner, Bella's bony ass shifted and dragged with exaggeration over my lap—and my dick. The small amount of fabric provided by my khaki shorts was the only barrier between my cock and Bella Swan's ass. This really should have sobered up any... stiff situations, but sadly...
My hand moved from the window and shoved itself into my hair, tugging sharply as my eyes closed in a vain attempt to distract myself.
This couldn't actually be happening.
With a final, heaving lurch, we thumped into Alice's driveway first. I shot Jasper an alarmed expression—my boner was really hoping to get drop-off priority.
He ignored this, instead quickly declaring, "I'm dropping Alice off first. She has a curfew, plus, Edward—you and I can walk home from Bella's house after we park the car." His eyes darted to mine and back to Alice's. "So... yeah. I'll be right back." He reached for Alice's hand and slid her toward him. He then carried her to the shady side of the house.
I'll be right back, roughly translated into cop-a-feel-speak meant that he'd be back in twenty minutes. Fuck my life.
Bella took Alice's departure as the opportunity to climb off my lap. It was unfortunately fortunate. Without a word, she began... slidingoff... and, reflexively—because I have quick reflexes, really—I found my hands grasping her hips to halt her movement.
I didn't want her off my lap.
Or my cock.
Especially my cock.
I didn't want her to feel it, stiff and growing as she slid away, but I also wasn't ready for her to remove the pressure that felt, really, really good.
My thumbs were loose, not quite touching her back, while my fingers lightly clamped across her belly. I was just...holding her there...
She didn't move. Not an inch. She just froze, all rigid and quiet. Her back was slightly arched as she held her breath. She felt it. She felt me.
God, what was I doing? This was going to be just... a fucking disaster. If Bella knew she made me hard, she'd think there was a chance, when really, it was a mortifying consequence of being a guy who'd already had his fair share of disappointing and rather unresolved sexual tension for the evening ,and I couldn't help it and...
Oh, my God, did she just grind on me?
She did. The motion was small, but enough, and I was starting to sweat because Bella Swan was grinding on my jock, and I needed to get her off of my lap, but my hands—my hands weren't working. They just kept lingering there, and my thumbs—my thumbs were now pressed into her back. They pushed down because I wanted her to grind on me again.
I was going to hell. Like, the pervy kind of hell where they send peeping toms and flashers and the guys that watch too much internet porn. That was the kind of hell I was going to...
But, I considered, if I was going to hell...
Expelling a shaky breath I was positive she could hear, I lifted one hand to run my fingers gently up her back. I barely grazed her soft t-shirt in my ascent, reaching the top of her collar and gliding my fingers over her skin and up through her hair. She quivered under my touch, practically melting into my chest. Sighing deeply, I could feel the tension drain from her body in the rhythmic pushing and pulling of her back against my chest. I pushed my nose into her hair and inhaled a mixture of sulfur and weed and shampoo and girl. Then, once again, she shifted—up and back, her thighs spreading just an inch in an undeniably intentional maneuver.
My hips instinctively followed hers. They shifted and lured our bodies into a satisfying sync, coaxing each crook of her knee to sling over my own with a couple strategic nudges. My wary fingers dipped to the inside of her bare thigh, because this was the only way it would make sense. No one could fault me for wanting to give the girl a little bit of pleasure, right?
Her breath hitched, and I stopped before I reached the denim hem of her shorts, afraid I had pushed this completely random moment somewhere neither of us wanted to go.
But she didn't stop. Instead, her right hand covered my own and she slowly pushed it inward and up. I ran my fingers over the thin barrier of cloth between our skin and pressed and caressed and just like that, I was touching Bella Swan's pussy, and I wasn't gagging.
Bella shuddered at the contact, even though her denim was thick and my touch was soft and uncertain. I did it again, this time pressing harder and scraping my fingers across the area I knew was most sensitive. I waited for her to say something, to speak or make a disapproving noise, but instead, her breath came out heavy and low, not the high-pitched squeak I was used to, the kind of noise that only encourages.
If I had taken a moment to think, to clearly penetrate the alcohol and weed and throbbing-mess-that-was-in-my-pants-induced stupor—I might have considered that this was Bella. Bella the CockBlocker Swan. Who was gyrating against my junk, and it was wrong and not what I wanted and surely this couldn't really be what she wanted: a quick hand job in the front seat of her truck while her best friend was going down on my best friend in the bushes behind her house? Did she want this? I would have said no, that Bella wanted flowers and first dates and candy at the movies, and just as I was about to probably maybe make some kind of noble decision, she wrapped her ankles around the outside of my calves and thrust her ass into my dick and ground my hand more firmly into her warm crotch.
So I pushed and stroked and stopped thinking entirely, because really, my dick was one second from jacking its load all over the inside of my pants, and I wanted it as much or more than I ever had before. Because even though there were so many things wrong about this moment, there were so many more that were just... really... hot.
I'd never not heard a girl moan when on the cusp of an orgasm before. Something about the complete lack of sounds, save for our labored breathing, made the moment seem secret and scandalous—like, if a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does it really happen? Except... instead of a tree, it was Bella getting off, and instead of a forest, it was a dirty truck cab.
God, I was losing my mind.
My nose was near to her ear, all tangled up in her hair as she writhed into my lap and panted through parted lips. My eyes darted anxiously out the windshield, praying like hell that Jasper wouldn't walk up and find us like this. I'd never be able to explain it to him.
All of a sudden, her hand started pressing harder into me, a clear indication that I should speed my motions. When I did, her legs began tensing and her breathing was almost raspy, and I watched as her fingers dig into mine, knuckles white.
And then I gave Bella Swan an orgasm.
As if my night couldn't possibly get any more surreal than this, she collapsed into my chest, and I wasn't finished. I couldn'tbe finished. It wasn't even a cognizant option for me. My hands went to her hips and gripped them tightly, eyes fixedly scanning the Brandon's yard as I continued to slide her back and forth, creating as much friction as possible.
I was nestled fairly snugly between her ass cheeks, lifting my hips in time with my pushing and pulling of her against me. She didn't seem to mind, just lying limply on top of me as I shoved and dragged. My breathing grew ragged embarrassingly soon, and I figured the weed had made me exceptionally paranoid, because I began seeing Jasper-shaped shrubbery and, panicking, moved her faster and faster to expedite my release.
Following her example, I sank my teeth into my cheek to restrain any groans or grunts that were fighting to emerge, my gaze trained on the side of the Brandon house, alert yet foggy.
And then Bella Swan gaveme an orgasm.
With a dozen or so erratic and forceful thrusts, I found my mouth opening in a silent cry, head slamming back into the old headrest behind me as I raised her entire body with the final lift of my hips.
We sat like this briefly, regaining what little composure there was left to be had before she voluntarily moved off my lap and into the middle of the bench.
I was sweating like a pig—a post coital, trapped in a truck-cab, pig—and I rolled down the window to get some fresh air and to let the smell of sex dissipate into the night.
This was how were remained until Jasper emerged from the shadows by the house with a satisfied grin plastered across his face. He was so blissed out on Alice that he barely spared a glance in either of our directions as he cranked the truck and drove off into the night.
Things after that night were different. Not because Bella and I dry humped our way to love in the front of the truck that night or because we now saw each other differently or because life was a fairy tale of happiness and romance and the nerdy girl gets the rebellious guy and they all live happily ever after...
No, things were different because none of those things happened.
I cautiously came to work the next day, hat down, glasses on, and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. I was completely mortified. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to think that our relationship had changed. I'd come up with an entire speech to give her when I arrived—detailing the excessive amounts of illegal substances in my body that night, my low morals and questionable ethics, and the fact I truly was just an idiot. I was willing to take the blame if she would just drop it—forever.
I feared Bella would leap from "hovering" to "clingy" faster than it took for her to…. do something really fast.
But I never had to say a word. Bella walked in ten minutes behind me, uttered a simple hello, clocked in and took her position by the deep end without another glance in my direction.
I was a little floored. I watched on, wide-eyed as she climbed to her seat and rubbed on her sun block, like it was any other day.
This was how the rest of the week continued. We worked and spoke to one another when necessary, but the night in her truck was never mentioned. If I couldn't remember it all with startling clarity, I might have thought the whole experience was one very fucked up dream or something.
Needless to say, my concerns over her attachment to me were unfounded. At first, this was a relief.
A mega, colossal, epic relief.
But then... well, it was just a little confusing. It made me ponder this girl, Bella Swan, and what I'd always believed about her. I'd always figured her inexperienced. She'd never dated as far as I knew, but her behavior had been... comfortable.
Bella did begin to merge with our group a little more as the weeks passed. Her inclusion into our circle was gradual, me locking the gates and coming to find her at the table. She was never a bother, just joined in as we passed Jasper's tight joints around and nodded along to Alice. She even joined in when we bitched about Eric Yorkie trying to grow hydroponic weed out of his basement in an effort to cut into Jasper's sales. Shit, Bella even joined in when she caught us making eyes at Rosalie's ass. Yes, at some point I had relented about Bella being part of us—and yes, this may have occurred after she rubbed all over my dick for ten minutes and left me warm and sticky.
Okay, so she wasn't cool, but she was no longer the bane of my summer existence. Bella just... was.
All in all, I was relieved and confused, yet undeniably content being left be.
"I win!" Alice cheered, grinning excitedly and laying her hand of cards out over the table.
I tossed my remaining cards down and pushed back from the table. "Big fucking surprise." Alice had won every hand of cards we'd played since it had begun raining—which was approximately four days ago.
"When do you think we can leave?" Bella said to neither of us in particular, picking up the cards and shuffling them into order.
I held my hand up and eyed my skin suspiciously before I muttered, "I think my hands are pruning just from sitting out here. This sucks," I concluded with a huff. Sure, we were used to torrential downpours of Forks, but I could be spending it doing something fun for a change.
My hand inspections were cut short by the sound of Jasper's car pulling into the parking lot. The flash of anticipation and longing covering Alice's features forced me to sigh, "Look Alice, just go, there's no reason for all three of us to be here."
Bella's agreeable nod caused Alice's face to spread into a wide grin before she began packing up her stuff. She paused only once to yell, "Thanks guys! I owe you one," before she ran out the front gate.
The two of us spent the rest of the afternoon "working." Bella read some girly Austen book while I listened to my iPod. Occasionally one of us would hop up and see to the routine chores around the pool.
An hour before closing, Bella dropped her book on the table with a loud thud, causing me to look up from the game I was playing. I was surprised to see her staring at me, not moony or blushy or any of those things she had always been toward me. She was looking at me with narrowed eyes—contemplative.
"What?" I asked, curious and a little uncomfortable under her scrutiny.
Her eyes dipped at little when I spoke, the shy girl returning. After a small sigh, she raised her eyes once again and this foreign, apathetic Bella had returned. "This place is depressing me."
I stood up and stretched my arms over my head, yawning, "God I know." My shirt lifted at the hem and upon feeling the blast of cool air upon my skin, I cast a covert glance to Bella. She was unabashedly looking at my stomach.
Yeah, that's more like her.
We eyed one another in silence for a minute, the atmosphere between us growing heavy and significant. We had nothing to do. I was a male with a love for orgasms and apparently, dry humping. She was a female with a love for... well... me, and the ability to keep certain activities secret and noncommittal. I had no idea what was running through her mind, but I definitely knew what I was thinking about. "So, my Volvo has air conditioning," I blurted. I dropped my arms and felt my face flush, Bella seeming somewhat caught off guard by my words.
Her eyes widened for a moment. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and my pants tightened. At the sight of my shifting, her eyes grew dark, and she stood, offering a breathy, "I could go for some air conditioning."
I had one hand wrapped around the leather of my seat, sticky under my palm as I grasped it and held on for dear life. The other was tentatively trailing down the soft, smooth flesh that ran the length of her body. Who knew that the pale skin hidden under the baggy shirts and frumpy sweaters was so alluring?
There were a lot of things I didn't know, though. Like that Bella's tits weren't really small. They just weren't big, and if I were being honest with myself, I liked it that way. I trailed my fingertips over the two teardrop-shaped breasts, grazing her pink nipples and fighting a groan as they bounced slightly with her motions.
She was writhing on top of me, straddled over my hips, thrusting onto my iron hard dick. I swear it couldn't get any harder. I was probably bruising her. Her top was gone—the straps of her bathing suit pulled down and pooled around her waist. All that remained between the two of us was the thin layer of spandex that made up her bathing suit bottom and my conspiratorially thin shorts.
When we were in the car like this, the spastic Bella from work and school and real life didn't exist. Her body moved over mine gracefully, rhythmically, intentionally, riding me slow and steady. I on the other hand was a puddle of fucking goo. It was a battle to not blow my load the minute she sat on my lap. As soon as she lowered her warm body on top of mine I was done, but that was just... not okay.
Experience or no, no one likes a premature ejaculator.
I'd taken to watching her while she rode me, her hair falling around her shoulders, her lips parted just enough to get air, a light sheen of sweat covering her forehead. She never spoke or made a sound. Her eyes remained closed, her head tilted back lazily as she swayed and pushed. The only time her expression changed was when she came—quivering and forceful. During that fleeting moment Bella's nose scrunched tightly, and she made an unpleasant face, like something smelled bad or displeased her, but her mouth... her lips curved upwards just a hint, and I knew... I knew she was falling apart inside.
We'd been doing this for a while. Sneaking off to my car—the back seat due to its lack of visibility—never speaking, just feeling and doing. It was totally okay. It's not like we were having sex. It's not like I was taking advantage of her or anything. No penetration. Just rubbing.
The first time I'd started touching her, the guilt had returned, but she'd surprised me by exposing herself without any pressure on my part. It was a clear "go" sign that groping was allowed. In return, I allowed her hands to wander my chest, caressing and scratching as she grew closer to release. After a couple weeks, these meetings grew comfortable and expected and routine.
But today had been different.
I'd barely made it to the car without touching her. In fact, I hadtouched her, inside the pool supply room. She'd walked by me to grab the chemical tests, and I'd placed my hand over hers. I had no justification for doing so. We always avoided one another outside the confines of my backseat, and yet... there her hand was, and there was mine, drawn to it like a magnet. She'd yanked her hand away as if touched by fire, and after she'd crossed the pool deck, I'd stood in the same spot, pretending I couldn't feel the ghost of her skin under my palm.
I'd barely made it to closing. I'd itched to feel her skin again, had grown frustrated and tense as the clock had ticked on. I almost hadn't made it to the car, and I definitely hadn't made it to the back seat. Instead, I'd lunged to the passenger seat, pulling her down on top of me and ignoring her surprised expression. Once she'd settled down atop me, I'd closed the door, already hard and lifting into her.
She writhed on top of me, pressing her damp body into my dick, lolling her head backward elegantly. It was delicious and exquisite, and my balls already felt that familiar tickle, but... it just felt as though something was missing. So when I began to see the skin of her nose tugging into a telling wrinkle, I ran my fingers down the outer edge of her bathing suit. I then plunged them under, my fingers twisting into the cramped confines of her bathing suit and feeling her down there for the first time.
"Ugh," she grunted as I made contact.
My fingers almost stopped. Bella fucking grunted.
But instead of stopping, I moved them deeper, searching for skin and flesh and more and believing that maybe that grunt was the missing element I desired. I was rewarded with an arch of her back that made her ass grind impossibly harder onto my dick, which, by the way, had become impossibly harder at the sound of that grunt. Her petite little tits were shoved in my face by then, and I salivated, throbbing as I considered taking one of her pert little nipples into my mouth. Her flushed skin led my eyes up her chest to her collarbones, toward her throat, all stretched and taught, and then her chin and gaping lips, hanging open as she panted in sharp intervals.
Then the unimaginable happened. I don't even know what came over me. I think it was the grunt, the solitary, deep, grunt. I reached my free hand up, the one that wasn't buried in her crotch, and ran it to the back of her head, and then, holy fuck, I wound my fingers around her neck and pulled her head to mine. My lips sought out her semi-parted, close to orgasming mouth, and crashed it to my own. I just...kissed her. I kissed her fucking hard and long and passionately.
I kissed her.
I thought she might pull away, but instead, she hummed a low purr and thrust her soft tongue into my mouth, which I accepted greedily. Her hands were in my hair then, tugging me closer as our breathing hissed through our noses, our tongues pushing almost violently against one another. Then it was my turn to grunt, and her knees began shaking. We were sucking and pushing and pulling and hands were everywhere, and we were going faster and harder and climbing and plunging and...
And then because it was so good—she felt so, so good in my mouth and on my dick, and her tits smashed against my chest and her flesh was searing under my fingers—that I came so fucking hard beneath Bella Swan, I was almost delirious.
High. Stoned. Baked. You name it—me and Bella were fried out of our fucking minds as we sat on the large picnic table at the edge of the pool property lines. Our legs swung as we leaned back on our palms, Jasper and Alice having disappeared... somewhere. We were just enjoying our buzz, the different shades of twilight playing in the background. Every time my foot grazed Bella's, the sways of our legs would falter, before quickly regaining a rhythm.
It made my toes tingle.
"Two years ago my family took a trip to New York City. Dad had a conference, and my mom and I planned to do the whole touristy sightseeing thing," Bella spoke suddenly.
I had no fucking clue what she was rambling on about. I figured it was probably the weed we'd just smoked. She had a tendency when high of getting entirely quiet before suddenly blurting out some random comment. It was kind of... cute.
Twirling a lock of hair around her forefinger with a contemplative expression, she continued, "Renee was so excited about going on the big double-decker tour bus, you know the red ones all the tourists ride around in?"
I nodded, but, no, I really didn't and was trying to still figure out what the hell she was talking about.
Over the course of two months, Bella and I had made nine-and-a-half trips to the back of my car. The one where Jasper's client pulled up too close to me in the parking lot and forced us to duck down, hide, and then leave, only counted for half. But that was the thing. I was counting without realizing it and somewhere between the nine-and-a-half visits to my car, I started to actually listen to what Bella was saying.
"We were both really excited about going to see the Statue of Liberty. It's just one of those things you have to see in person, you know? Well, my mom and I were taking the ferry to Staten Island, and we began to pass by... and wow." Her eyes were all glazed over and narrow.
"Was it awesome?" I asked, actually caring for some reason.
"It was... no. It was kind of a letdown," she admitted with half a shrug.
"Really?" I asked.
Bella's eyes were kind of sad, and she was staring out over the deep end in thought. The sight of her sadness made me want to put my hand over hers... just to touch her. I wanted to pull her to me since she seemed so far away. But I wasn't her boyfriend or even really her friend, and I definitely wasn't the guy who touched people on the hands just to make them feel better.
Our relationship was beginning to confuse me.
"Yeah," she continued. "I thought it was going to just be huge. In my mind, it was the size of a skyscraper." She reached her hands up into the air and made a gesture of how huge it should be. She pointed high above the trees. "This, of course, is because I had only seen it enlarged in photographs or television. In real life it was just... it just didn't measure up to what I thought it'd be."
"So, it just wasn't what you expected?" I asked, trying to follow.
"No. Well, in some ways it was. I mean, it was beautiful and significant, but really, it just didn't live up to the hype." She shrugged again, taking her bottom lip between her teeth and gnawing it thoughtfully.
I tried to follow her train of thought. The only thing I could even imagine comparing it to was the time I ate a dozen cupcakes on a dare from Jasper. I threw up all over the kitchen counter, and my mom made me clean it up. It was disgusting and kind of ruined them for me forever. For some reason this didn't seem like the same thing so I kept thatstory to myself.
Bella chose that moment to look at me, and while her lips were turned up in a smile, her eyes remained sad. Something was wrong—something about Bella was different. I couldn't put my finger on it.
"It's just..." she sighed, "Edward, I need to be honest with you."
Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable and I wasn't even sure why. Why was Bella talking to me like this? She was talking to me like we were equals. Or even more—like she was in control.
I thought about her straddling me in the car and realized that, at some point, Bella had taken control over me. Control over my stupid horny-ass and orgasm, craving dick.
"Okay," I said cautiously, shifting in discomfort.
"It's no secret I've had a crush on you for years," she began, a mild blush coloring the apples of her cheeks. "The whole town knows. I know what you guys call me, and I even understand you not liking me back. I do. I wasn't even that upset when you yelled at me that day. Looking back on it I was being obnoxious and... simply pathetic." She grimaced, clearly embarrassed by her behavior.
"And you," she continued, "You were never really a jerk. You could have been so mean to me, like Tyler or Mike or any of the other guys in the class, but really you we're just... indifferent. Which was better than mean, so I want to thank you for that." She punctuated this with a nod, her eyes still glazed and bloodshot as she leveled me with her stare.
"Okay," I repeated, rubbing my forehead in confusion.
Talk about a backhanded compliment.
"I don't know if you know this," she ventured, her embarrassment becoming more evident as she pinkened further. "But I was convinced if you got to know me better, then you would grow to like me. Maybe even fall for me." She laughed at the absurdity of her statement, and I laughed nervously with her, running a hand through my hair and struggling to free it from the tangles at the end. I eyed the gate and briefly considered making a run for it. I didn't know why, but I didn't like where this was heading. My palms grew sweaty and I swallowed in quick succession.
"Of course, you didn't," she said as if it were the most obvious thing ever. "But this summer, with everything that happened, at home and here and between me and you... well, I guess I changed. I realized something about the both of us."
"I realized that once I got to know you, the real you, the shine wore off. The Edward Cullen I daydreamed about and doodled over on my notebook was just that... a dream." She paused and looked at the puzzled expression I had to be wearing. Quickly, she explained, "You're still pretty nice and very cute but... well, it's like I told you that day at my house, unless you have something to offer, then why should I just settle? Other than the orgasms, which truthfully can be provided by my own hand, everything else about you is... a little lacking."
My jaw dropped at her words, mouth gaping. I only realized it when, after a moment, she reached out and closed it gently with one of her fingers. "Wait...what are you saying?" I asked, a little offended, overcome with a emotion that made my stomach clench.
"I was just thinking," she confessed. "that being your backset dry-fuck is really fun and all, but it's not really what I need right now." She huffed, the hair around her face flying in a delicate flutter at the puff. "I both had and was forced to watch empty relationships with my harpy of a mother. I think… maybe I deserve more from the relationships I can choose, you know?"
I have no idea how long I sat there, processing this information, feeling this new emotion that made my skin burn and my stomach churn. She didn't leave, but I kind of wished she would have. She stayed next to me on the table, her legs swinging over the edge as mine remained prostrate and still.
Alice and Jasper emerged from the shadows then and jumped into the pool, splashing and playing, and the overwhelming emotion I had watching them was one of jealousy. I was envious of the ease of their relationship. They actually liked one another. I chewed on my lip and considered Bella's little speech. I no longer knew if I liked Bella or not. She wasn't whom I thought she was. She was right... about deserving more. But I knew I couldn't offer it, and… well it kind of pissed me off.
"Come get in the pool!" Alice called, Jasper splashing a tidal wave of water in our direction. Bella giggled next to me, musical and soft, and the annoyance I'd once felt toward her came rushing back.
"Fuck no. You know how I feel about getting into that fucking cesspool," I barked, pretending I was irritated at them and not at her.
How dare she reject me.
Bella hopped off the table and shimmied off her shorts, giving me a wide shot of her ass in a different, blue bathing suit. My eyes betrayed me as they remained glued to her body and I knew my eyebrows almost shot off my face when she pulled her shirt over her head. Bella was wearing a two piece. Nothing revealing, still full coverage. But the sight of her skin against the gray hues of dusk shocked me.
She never would have worn something like that before me. Whatever we'd been doing over the last weeks had given her something. Maybe it was confidence. Maybe it was a lack of confidence. Maybe she was just trying to get a rise out of me or prove me wrong or be the nerdy girl who suddenly transformed into a woman over the span of a summer. It didn't really matter what it was. What mattered was that I'd been at least somewhat responsible and now she was taking it away.
That was my skin and my fingers itched to touch it.
"Yay!" Alice exclaimed, giddy as Bella joined her in the water. And then I looked to Jasper—who was looking at Bella. In her new bathing suit. And all that skin.
He looked past her and at me, waggling his eyebrows repulsively.
With that I was gone. I grabbed my shit and walked to the gate, never looking back at my friends, the pool, or Bella as she emerged from underneath the water, glistening and luminous and mine and not.
The last two weeks of August were both a blessing and a curse. My family went on vacation for once, allowing me time and space from the fiasco of my life. I used the fact that I'd worked all summer as excuse enough to stay home. It was an easy ruse.
In reality, I couldn't see leaving the complete state of transition I'd found myself in. Somehow over the summer, Bella Swan had gained perspective, and I'd lost the little I thought I'd had. I had no fucking clue what I was doing, thinking, or feeling—especially feeling.
The final week of summer was spent cleaning up and preparing to close down the pool for the impending autumn. The three of us worked side by side, scrubbing chairs, scraping the tiles and providing general maintenance before Labor Day. The final blowout of the season was a big party on Monday. All of Sunday afternoon was spent in preparation. As much as I wanted to avoid Bella, I found myself orbiting around her. I desperately wanted her to look at me, to acknowledge me, to give me a shy look before darting off to the Volvo for some "air conditioning."
But none of that was going to happen. Bella's words stung, and as pissed as I was, I knew most of my bitterness stemmed from the knowledge that she hadn't been completely off base about everything. She had changed and it was seriously fucking with my head. School was starting on Tuesday and I couldn't even imagine how our summer relationship could have translated into the atmosphere of school, real clothing, and our own social groups. It wasn't even thinkable.
I watched as she sprayed a hose, filling the baby pool up with water. She was laughing with one of the kids, her head thrown back as she chortled and snorted. It made a phantom and involuntary smile tug at my own lips. She looked happy for the first time in weeks. My smile eventually fell as a sharp pain addled my chest. It didn't seem right that she could laugh like that when, after all the time we'd spent together, I'd never been able to make her happy like that. She, on the other hand, appeared perfectly content without my presence.
My fists curled as I stalked away.
Later that day, I found myself sitting on the guard stand while every kid in town showed up to swim. Near the end of the season, management usually lowered prices in a last-minute attempt to get a quick and easy profit. During adult swim, Bella and Alice got in to play volleyball with Jasper and Garrett and some of the other kids from school that had shown up.
"Wanna' play?" Jasper asked as he squinted up at me, twirling the ball on his finger. No one looked surprised when I declined, instead offering to take score from my post.
Bella was wearing her new little sporty bathing suit, jumping around, splashing and playing and yeah, she was still a little spazzy, but it just kind of gave her this fun character. I eventually saw her flinch as the ball came flying near her head, her spazziness on display once again. Mike batted it away, nudging her shoulder playfully with his own.
My eyes narrowed as I saw her give him a little smile in thanks.
Their game continued and it grew rougher, laughter and dunking and splashing filling the pool deck with the sounds of summer. I looked on still as Garrett picked Bella up, his fingers wrapping tightly around her ribs as he dunked her playfully beneath the surface of the water. I reflexively blew my whistle at the sight of his grasp on her skin.
All heads snapped up to my position, my glower fixed on Garrett. He raised his eyebrows. "What the hell, Cullen?"
"No horseplay, you idiot," I ordered, keeping the venom low, but my gaze firm.
Confused, he dropped his hands and let Bella out of his grasp.
I tweeted my whistle again once she was released, and allowed, "Carry on."
This continued for a while. Garrett was handsy, but he spread it around, coping feels on Jessica, Lauren and Bella while they played in the water. I zoned out for a moment while pondering the variety of ways in which I could break his fucking fingers when I was smacked in the head by a stray serve. Pissed off, I caught the bouncing ball, offered it a spiteful glare, and then swiftly tossed it over the fence behind me. The group erupted into collective "Boos" and "What the fuck's?!" from the water at my tantrum.
That game needed to end before someone got a broken hand. And by "someone," I meant Garrett. I was hopeful they would get out of the water so I wouldn't have to watch the displays of hands and splashing and blue-covered cleavage, but Jasper proceeded to pull Alice underwater, reemerging with her small form perched upon his shoulders.
"Chicken Fight!" Alice laughed as she wobbled on Jasper's wide shoulders. "I dare any of you bitches to take us on!"
Lauren immediately jumped on Mike's back. Angela on Ben's. Rosalie on Emmett's. Samantha on Tyler's. My stomach clenched as Garrett looked back and forth between Jessica and Bella, thoughtful.
He wasn't looking at Bella like he normally did. No—he was looking at Bella the way I did.
It appeared I wasn't the only one who noticed the changes in her.
I tugged my fingers through my hair and shifted restlessly in my seat. My glare bored into the back of his head as I tried to send him some kind of telepathic warning.
Pick Jessica, you fucker, or I will break your goddamn hands.
He ultimately offered Jessica an apologetic smile, lunging for Bella who inspected him with wide eyes. His hands connected with the soft flesh of her arms, preparing to hoist her up to his shoulders and complete the circle of pairs. Pairs.Bella was being paired.
He touched her leg, and she smiled, laughing, and I probably would have been fine watching that, grinding my teeth and bouncing my leg like some crackhead going through withdrawals.
But then she touched him.
She put her hand on his shoulder to lift herself and rubbed a little, and her lip got trapped between her teeth.
She looked him in the eye like she was settling and okay with it, and I... I was standing, my hat was thrown to the side, my flip flops were being slid off, and I was jumping, falling, flying, dropping, crashing, sinking, tingling, kicking, thrusting, moving, shoving, and then bursting forth with a forceful gasp of, "Bella's with me." and finding myself emerging somewhere between the shallow end and the deep end, and no.
The symbolism wasn't lost on me.
I opened my eyes to complete silence, every eye in the pool pointed toward me as I stood, dripping into the water and flinging my wet hair from my eyes. With varying degrees of shock and amusement, they looked on and my gaze was fixed on Bella, whose jaw was slack, mouth gaping.
"You're in the pool," Jasper stated.
Ignoring him, I swam toward the group, determined and a little desperate as my gaze glued itself to a pair of questioning and brown eyes. Her hand was still resting on Garrett's shoulder when I reached them. Only then did I break her stare, glaring at the soft indentations her fingertips were making in his tanned flesh.
I waded closer, the water cresting my hips and spoke in a low, even tone, "hands off."
Confusion filled both their faces, and Garrett laughed off my demand, "What's the big deal Cullen, it's just Bella."
Bella shifted in the water, her hands dropping into the depths of the water. She was hurt by the comment but instead of becoming meek and withering she leveled her hurt eyes at me, "What? Now you'rethe Cockblocker, Edward? How ironic."
Anger and humiliation were building inside me. Everyone was watching. I mean everyone. Not only was I in the pool, I was making a scene. The pool moms and the pool pissers and Rosalie and Jalice—they were all looking at me with interest. Bella had an eyebrow raised in question, and suddenly it became overwhelmingly apparent that our secret adventures were one moment away from no longer being secret.
Oddly enough, I didn't care. Not about what they were thinking, or that Alice's eyes were about to pop out of her head, or that Garrett was looking at my clenched fists warily. I reached my hand out to her and willed her to accept it, to accept me—to find me worthy.
"Will you be my..." I started but paused, swallowing back fear while I pushed the others out and became lost in her deep, warm eyes, "partner? Jasper needs an ass kicking."
Bella's lips turned upwards and the heat spreading across her chest let me know she understood. "Do you think you have what it takes to partner up with me? I have pretty high standards." Her fingers were trailing in the water, and the way she shifted her hips made my stomach roll.
I closed the gap between us until I towered over her. "You do, but I think I'm up to the challenge." I caught one of her hands and pulled her closer, until I could feel her bare stomach against my own.
"I think you are too," she agreed while her fingertips feathered over my skin and around my back. Then before I could react, we were having a moment, like one of those damn Disney Efron movies, where the guy and the girl kiss in front of the whole school, but instead it was the pool and all the fuckers around me weren't dancing (thank god), and I was waist deep in contaminated water and even though I wasn't embarrassed by her, I just didn't want to share her or her skin or her lips or the way her nose scrunched up when she—
"Stop thinking so much," Bella whispered, and I snapped out of my mental ramblings to find her staring at me intently, waiting for me to make the move.
Which I did.
Amongst the crowd, the gasps and the shocked laughter that was how I, Edward Cullen, showed everyone how I felt about Isabella "Cockblocker" Swan at the end of the summer, two days before the start of our senior year.
I pulled the Volvo into the parking lot, slid into a spot and killed the engine.
Tiny dots of rain fell on the windshield, and I looked at the raincoat covered bodies as they trudged into school. I banged my head lightly on the cool leather of the steering wheel and whined, "I miss summer already."
A soft hand twisted into my own and I peered at the girl in the passenger seat. Her amused smile made me smile in return, "It's been one day Edward."
"I know," I acknowledged, "but, I had to get up before eight, and I didn't even get to see you in your bathing suit."
Bella removed her fingers from my hand and threaded them into the back of my hair and pulling me eye level. "If we have a good day maybe I can reward you later," she bargained, placing a quick kiss on my mouth.
A loud knock rapped on the window and we both jumped before seeing Alice's hooded face peering inside. "I saw that!" she called though the glass, "Meet you inside!"
I made an effort to glare at her, even if I didn't mean it, and Bella just waved her off with a smile and a nod. I turned my back to Alice and realized Bella was studying me intently, "Are you ready?" she asked, although her nerves were apparent.
"Definitely," I responded, even though deep down I was a little curious what would be said and where we would sit and how we would act the minute we got out of the car.
She dropped her eyes and I saw a glimmer of the old Bella sitting before me, shy and uneasy, "Are you sure this is what you want? We can go back to..."
I ran my hands though my hair, and I felt my face heat and my stomach drop, "Damn it Bella! I'm not going anywhere—you're stuck with me. Did you see me the other day? I got in that disgusting urine infested water and kissed you —in front of Alice and Rosalie Hale and that fucker Garrett, who seriously, if he even talks to you today I'm going to kick his ass," I shouted, causing several people to look in the direction of the car. "Don't you get it? We can never go back."
Her blush intensified but her lips curved upward, and she said, "No, I suppose we can't."
With one final kiss for luck or assurance, we both reached for our handles, and I pointed to hers on the door handle and directed, "Wait," which she did.
I hopped out of the car and ran around the side, opening hers like a gentleman. I tugged her out and held her hand for everyone to see. Because we were no longer hiding or pretending, but just being real.
"Bella," I said as we took our first steps onto the sidewalk in front of the school, "now that we're a couple, and in a relationship, does that mean we can start meeting somewhere more comfortable than my car? Not that I mind but…"
Shrugging, she began, "Well, we could go to my house, if you want to get shot. Or we could go to your house, if you want to get The Doctors STD and birthcontrol talk. Or... well, there's always the pool..." she trails off with a smirk.
I think my balls cringed a little.
"Well, at least when I get shot, The Doctor can patch me up while giving the sex talk," I reasoned.
Even love has its limits when it comes to pissy cesspools.
Yeah...that was really long. Are you shocked? no. i doubt it. AG's gonna post this on her LJ at some point so keep an eye out.
Thanks to Pastiche Pen (shut up) for the beta and Revrag for the pre-read.
You guys can not belive the process behind this collab. I will spare you the details. but it invovled threats, tears and much laughter.
I heart AG with the force of a thousand stinky cab dry humps.