No it's not the next chapter of King:( *ducks flying muffins* I'm sorry! It'll be up very soon though:) Promise XD
ANYWAY, this is basically the 'rain' scene from Maes Hughes' funeral with a kind of internal monologue type thing going on:) There's just so much stuff going on there that goes unsaid... So um, yeah, enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Roy Mustang or any of the whole FMA manga or anime*sob* I wonder how long I'd have to save up to buy it...
I guess i gotta say there's spoilers too, but I don't know what chapter number it is, its really early on though. Like, around 30 or something.
The Cold Flame
He's not aware of his solitude until it's broken; until she breaks it.
Her warm voice is a stark contrast to the cold, choppy wind that whips around him. He doesn't mind the weather; it mirrors how he feels, blustery and torn apart.
Everyone's gone now, even Gracia. Elicia's cries had reduced Armstrong to tears, and he wasn't the only one. He's managed to keep his own back, but he's not sure he can bottle himself up much longer.
"Aren't you cold, sir, with all this wind?"
He looks at her then, and her breath catches. There's more emotion in his face now than she's seen in years; perhaps more than there's ever been.
"Maybe you should think about heading back."
His striking indigo eyes gaze at her, flickering over her features momentarily in a cold, hard stare. But she can see it, she always can. She can see right through him.
Those deep, dark eyes, it's easy for her to get lost in them. It's always a struggle for her to make her way back through the tumbling emotions that make the colonel who he is.
As they stare, those orbs mould from cold to burning in an instant. There's so much anger hiding within them, so much pain he's trying to hide. It's as if he's so cold that he's too hot to touch, the kind of cold that burns.
But he's human, and there are other things in those eyes. Pain and anger, a thirst for vengeance, they conflict with despair and hopelessness: his hands shake almost imperceptibly, though she doesn't know what from – it could be anything.
"In a minute."
Gazing at the grave of his best friend, he tries to wrench his thoughts away from their ugly heading.
He struggles to keep his voice level. It's difficult, but he manages it.
"What despicable creatures we alchemists are, Lieutenant."
His tone shocks her more than his words do.
She moves towards him under the pretext of passing him his coat; in reality, it's only because she wants to comfort him.
They're both too reserved, too cautious to show how they really feel, what they really think. It's a delicate balance that they've maintained for years.
And she hates it. She hates the awkwardness, the heavy silences it causes between them.
He hesitates, and again, she says nothing. An empty silence falls between them. It's a silence that should be filled. It's a silence that they can't fill.
"Right now..." He pauses again, but this time it's only briefly. "There's a part of me that's trying to figure out the details of transmuting human beings."
He sighs heavily, but she's not as appalled by his words as she should be. In fact, she's relieved in a way; she'd much rather that he wants to bring Hughes back than trying to follow him.
"I think I can understand why those two kids wanted to bring their mother back."
She looks away, searching for something to say. There's not really anything she can say.
He sighs again, staring off into the distance.
"Looks like... it's starting to rain."
He can perfectly imagine her expression; her amber eyes confused, with that little worried frown she always has whenever she's thinking. He can't deny that he's never had any trouble imagining what she looks like.
"But... it's not raining..."
She stumbles slightly over the words as she creases her brow into a frown, concerned.
""Yes, it is."
His voice is strained as he contradicts her, and he fights to stay turned away.
She stares at him uncomprehendingly.
"This is rain."
As he speaks again, he turns slightly towards her and she catches the tiniest glimpse of something glistening.
His resolve shatters in to tiny pieces as he hears her soft gasp, and he twists to face her. There's nothing held back now, there's nothing he can hold back any more.
It takes her several seconds to grasp it, but she's stunned.
A single tears rolls down his cheek as she stares at him; the famousFlame Alchemist, Colonel Roy Mustang, hero of the Ishbalan war and pillar of strength, a man who is renowned for his coldness on the battlefield, crying.
And then, in the dead silence, she finds her voice again.
She has to say it, to remind herself why she can't let herself say what she wants to, what she's always wanted to say to him.
It tears her heart to shreds, watching him like this, unable to do anything but stand there. Stand beside him as his subordinate, 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye. Not as his friend, Riza Hawkeye.
"Let's go, it's getting cold out here."
So there you go. Hope you liked it:) I wrote this cos I just finished chapter 101 *SIGHSWITHRELIEF* (i've been having minor panic attacks all month, lol) and i was like, awww... so I decided to do something that (hopefully) wasn't too cheesy or anything... sorry for any spelling, bad grammar etc.
Please R+R, it really means a lot to me. Seriously:)