5Fluff!
Is this even fluff? Well, it's the complete opposite of Smut but still worth reading. Don't hit that back button! I'm watching you...
Enough with the creepy talk. Let me tell you, I have a mp3 that can sadly hold maybe 190 songs. I have probably more than 400 songs on my computer. So what I do is switch it up a bit. Hit random shuffle on my media player, let it load to my crappy mp3, and I'm good for about two (maybe three) weeks. Then it's rinse, lather, and repeat. So it's laundary time with my aunt last night, I have my mp3 and the first song that plays is Someday You Will Be Loved by Death Cab for Cutie. Oh, the bunnies that were born. I instantly thought of Kaoru and I just could not resist.
So enjoy this songfic/fluff/ficlet thing. As always, reviews are much loved. Just reviews; I still have half a bag of oreos and a half eaten giant cookie before I can ask for more. :)
Disclamier: Lyrics for the song Someday You Will Be Loved belong to Death Cab for Cutie. Kaoru and Ryou belong to bandai. The plot bunnies are mine.
Btw, it would've been rated K but Ryou, as we know, uses naughty words, especially if it's three in the morning.
Kaoru stared at the ceiling, his mind lost in various, aimless thoughts. His thoughts reminded him of a time when he couldn't sleep at night. In those days, sleeping would mean dreaming about memories of her. The dreams weren't bad. They were pleasant dreams and filled him with a sense of belonging. The dreams were anything but a nightmare. They were a relief yet at the same time a double-edge sword. Dreaming meant he would have to wake up and waking up meant he would have to face reality. Mia would be gone. She wouldn't be with him. Every time thirteen year old Kaoru would wake up only to realize his dreams would forever remain just that, dreams, a part of him would die. It didn't discourage him from sleeping, from remembering the memories he had of Mia. It was all Kaoru had and it was the only thing he could do. Kaoru clung to a sliver thread of hope and searched for Mia, knowing it would hurt him when, by the end of the day, he was still alone. He returned to his dreams and woke up with a hopeless hope that Mia would return so they could search for Aromatic Grass like they did before.
Mia never appeared.
Elk died a little each time he logged off. He died so many times the shy and quiet Kaoru Ichinose no longer existed. He changed. Kaoru became reclusive and vindictive. He buried that small part of him that could care for someone else, for anyone who wasn't Mia. He locked it up and never looked at it. Eventually, Elk lost connections to everyone he met in real life and The World. He severed what bond he managed to build with anyone else, especially with Kite. Kite brought fresh memories of Mia which the pain of remembering washed over his still open wounds.
With nothing to do, with no one to talk to, not even with the nerve to face long sleep, Elk would mercilessly and hopelessly search for Mia.
Seven years passed.
The World and all the physical memories of Mia were gone. He should have abandoned his search for her. After all, why search for a ghost of a memory? She no longer existed. Kaoru slept, feeling the death of Elk hit him deeply. It was the only connection he had to her and it was gone. When The World R:2 came out, the sliver thread that was only held together by a taunt and worn string became slightly stronger but still sad and not too strong.
Twenty year old Kaoru Ichinose created Endrance and continued his dainty and pointless search.
A new character, the same futile goal.
Only it wasn't so futile. In a sense, he found Mia. It didn't matter that she looked different. As long as she was Mia, Endrance didn't care. As long as Mia was happy, he was content.
Was it unhealthy? Yes.
Did he know it was? Yes.
Yet, he didn't care. It was their bond. He was glad she was near him. Even if this Mia was temperamental it didn't matter. He would've done anything to please her. It was a partnership but no matter the reason, Mia was with him again. For several months, he held on to their partnership.
For the second time in his life, Mia left. It didn't lessen the pain that ripped through him like wildfire. It didn't mean he felt nothing when the wounds were violently ripped open. The only difference was recovery. This time, there was no recovery. That part of him that he had locked up became unlocked when he met AIDA Mia. When she left, that small part of him completely shattered. It shattered into a thousand small, undistinguishable shards that would be impossible to fix. Kaoru was thoroughly beaten and tired. He completely withdrew into himself, submerging into the memories of Mia of long ago.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down you're cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
Kaoru stared at a dark ceiling that was his yet wasn't. He felt comfortable in a bed that was his and at the same time wasn't. He turned to his side and watched Ryou's slow breathing. He was on his side, their legs tangled together and Ryou's head resting on Kaoru's arm. Ryou never liked to sleep on his back. He never could after awakening from his coma. On certain nights, when Kaoru couldn't sleep and his mind wandered, Kaoru would watch Ryou's sleeping face and smiled.
Kaoru wasn't the type to believe he went through heart wrenching pain just to meet Ryou. He loved Mia and he loved AIDA Mia. The only problem was that they weren't real and AIDA Mia didn't love him. Ryou is real and he returned his love. He helped and still is helping Kaoru pick himself up.
Kaoru lifted his hand and gently palmed the side of Ryou's face, running his thumb against Ryou's ear. Ryou stirred and his eyes slowly fluttered open. He groggily blinked a few times and looked at the alarm clock behind Kaoru. When he saw the time, he growled and narrowed his eyes at Kaoru.
"Dammit, Kaoru," he mumbled. "It's…fucking three in the morning…fuck." Ryou rolled onto his stomach and groaned into his pillow. Kaoru pulled him closer, resting his head near Ryou's hidden face. He waited and not a second later Ryou turned his head back to the side.
"How long…were you up?" Ryou asked. It took longer than usual to form complete sentences.
"Since twelve." Kaoru answered. Ryou sighed then cussed.
"Kaoru…you need to fucking sleep." Ryou yawned. He was being lulled to sleep by the gentle caress of Kaoru's fingers running through his hair. He gave Kaoru a half hearted glare that didn't quite reach his eyes. He sighed once more and moved closer so their lips softly met. "Go to…fucking…sleep, Kaoru." Ryou mumbled as he himself fell asleep, lulled by Kaoru's warm touch. Kaoru chuckled and watched Ryou's breathing even out.
"I will."
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series a blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved.