It was a Saturday morning, and all was calm except for a certain loud-mouthed ninja named Naruto. Naruto was sitting on a box and not just any box, a box filled with ramen. Or rather was filled with ramen until a late Friday night so the box was empty so he was throwing accusations at Sasuke and Neji his best friends.

Now you guys may be wondering why I said neji instead of sakura sadly our poor naruto had become aware of her two-faced ways which will be discussed later. So neji and Sasuke where trying to calm him down. Well neji kind of was by listing a million reasons why he should stop fussing while Sasuke was just massaging his temples. All of this was of course not calming him down. Sasuke snapped finally "shut the hell up dobe what's your problem god you're such a loud mouth I'll just buy you some ramen." "Yes all right! thanks teme!" Naruto replied in a hyper but grating voice. Neji then quickly interrupted and said "Hey, Naruto perhaps you would enjoy a spar afterwards". Sasuke and Neji had been fighting unbeknownst to Naruto over Naruto. They had both began courting naruto for a while now as they had loved him for sasuke it was ever since that misson in water country,for neji since the chunin exam during the battle where naruto had truly opened his heart. Though Naruto of course didn't know all of this all he knew was that they kept giving him things like those ramen chopsticks given to him by Sasuke and that new coat by neji usually naruto never minded as it meant he received gifts for free and for naruto it was a nice change compared to his usual gifts which consisted of bashings upside his head by sakura and a cool acknowledgement from kakashi. As they started to walk away from neji naruto turned to sasuke and finally asked the question that drifted in his mind from time to time. "Hey sasuke?" asked naruto "why do you and neji keep giving me things and why do you guys argue so much?" sasuke wondering if this could be his chance to confess started to reply with a heartfelt confession when who should interrupt but neji himself.

Now naruto was known as an idiot but he did have smart moments and he had noticed that he kept receiving gifts from sasuke and neji and no matter where he went they would follow. It was rather wonderful having some one always there as he hadn't had anyone for him growing up the attention he was receiving was nice. So that's why he became suspicious of the gifts, and the sometimes kind offers that they would give him so nicely. So he started to think about the reasons at first he wondered if he was dying but on closer inspection he had no strange spots and other than the occasional Hershey squirts he was fine. So then naruto would watch them and he would notice that Neji's room was filled strangely with pictures of him in strange positions ones he didn't remember doing. Like that one of him bending over at an ice cream shop. He also noticed that Neji's uncle seemed not to mind him coming in the hyuuga compound in fact he even had dinner there a couple times. Also he would eat and help cook dinner at sasuke's house, the food there was always superb, because he helped make it. Also he had started investigating sasuke's house and found letters to him in his drawer so he took them home and read them the following night. They were filled with love confessions for him. Naruto was shocked and while he was thinking of this he decided to check his boxes of ramen and found them all fine. That's why he was so shocked to find all of his ramen missing, though he had seen a shadow come and take something out of the box but he had dismissed it thinking it was nothing. The way they acted toward him led him to think they didn't know he knew something was going on but make no mistake he would find out why they were so fixated on him and… "NARUTO we've been trying to talk to you for 15 minutes here. We have some thing to ask you." said Neji. "Yes, Dobe we would like to propose a way for us to show our affection for you in 12 tasks we want you to choose one of us to be your seme."

"What?" yelled Naruto

"Why? Do I need to crown a teme?" Said Naruto

"Naruto, he said seme not teme!" explained neji frustrated.

"But whats a seme?" Asked naruto blankly.

"Someone you need to take care of you and someone to love you always". Said sasuke

"I can take care of myself just fine I am just fine being myself!" replied naruto sadly looking at the ground.

"Naruto you are gay, and you need a seme end of discussion". stated sasuke quite calmly."

" I am not!" said naruto as he stomped his foot childishly and pouted.

"Prove it name some things that make me gay "yelled naruto.

"Well you went to over 5 slumber parties in the last week." Said sasuke

"All the girls take you with them shopping" said neji.

"And the most important we feel is you have a dancer's build and have a hot pink tank top underneath that orange jumpsuit and you have a small penis". said mumbled "Can't get more stereotypical then that."

"I do not its really big "screamed naruto.

"How big?" asked neji in a coaxing you can tell me anything way.

"4 inches!" stated naruto proudly.

"Um, naruto that's really small". Said neji. " Prove it drop your trousers boys, or else" frowned naruto angrily.

Sasuke and Neji glanced at each other "Um naruto, if you want us to show you our cocks does that mean you will agree to let us begin courting you if we are telling the truth" asked Neji.

"Yeah, you can court me if you're bigger". Said naruto.

Pants were dropped and all you could hear was silence it was so quiet a pin could have dropped and you would have heard it in Suna.

"Why the hell are you so big!" yelled naruto.

Would you like to know what they looked like? Sasuke's cock was a beautiful pale that was looked to be around 8 ½ and was nice and thick with the littlest curve, while Neji's cock was a purple and had a slight tan mostly his was thick with a length of 7 ½ and they weren't even hard. Poor naruto was scared he didn't want anyone to touch him with that it was too big it scared him.

Naruto whimpered a little and back up into the kitchen.

" Don't worry Dobe just pick one of us and we will show you so much pleasure Im sure you will feel its better than when you eat ramen."

Naruto looked from sasuke and neji "Are you sure you are the ones for me if you think you can give me pleasure and no one else why couldn't some girl give me the pleasure you offer?"

"Because no girl wants a small penis in them, you are made for a man specifically me". Said sasuke.

"Whatever, naruto you would benefit greatly with me instead, after all the fates have seen our love."

"Sasuke! Neji! Fine I will give you your tasks and they will range to finding things for me, pleasure me and showing you can protect any kids we may have."

Im sorry everyone I forgot to mention that naruto can have children. It was one of the reasons Neji's uncle accepted him around the house and that there was no issues for sasuke not that he would have had any anyway.

"Naruto what shall be our task?"

"your first task is to bring me a flower you think I will like and tell me why you think it represents me I want you to prove you can be romantic and are not just in lust with me so there will be 5 tasks of finding certain things that romance me another 5 will be sexual so I hope you don't need Viagra, and the next 2 I'm still thinking about".

"Okay" replied sasuke and neji replied together.

They are both so nice what if I fall in love with both? Wondered Naruto.