569A/N: Just repeating myself that this story is currently undergoing some editing for my heinous grammatical mistakes, so I hope it ends up being more polished. Thanks for reading!
You and Me: Chapter 1
"What day is it? And in what month?"
We walked in the line, treading to the beat of our dead, this mournful song being the only song I have never wanted to and will never sing. Her dead body was beside me, moving yet still. She would never move again, but here she was traveling to her grave.
You don't love her Edward.
I looked down to the small face attached to the hand that wrapped around my finger.
I love him, and he is a part of her. I used to love her, before she gave me him.
I wanted to be anywhere but here. Tanya was dead, she had killed herself, and I wanted nothing more to do with her. As cold and heartless as it sounded, I had said goodbye to her the second she walked out of our lives.
"Edward," Jasper caught my attention as he walked beside me, "Are you alright?"
I nodded, and inspected my boy's face, "He looks unhappy. Do you think he realizes-"
"He's three Edward. He can't fully grasp the concept of death. I think … I think he's sad because he realizes you're sad. Not because his mother is lying in the casket beside him. As far as he's concerned, his mother left months ago."
I nodded, Jasper had a point. Tanya had been gone months prior to her death, and so her sudden drop off the face of the Earth made no difference to Auden, or me for that matter.
Wanting this to be over with, I stared at the sky while marching, trying to find the meaning of life in the clouds. I wanted to find the meaning for my life in this sky. All it gave me was the grey, dismal hue of Forks. Still trying to decipher the enigma, my eye caught sight of a figure. Anxiety sat, low and heavy in my gut.
Is she going to jump?
"Jasper, hold Auden," I quickly placed my boy in Jasper's arms, and took off running in the direction of the church.
A flock of thoughts flew through my head in that one moment; who was she? Why was she doing this? Could I help her? Could I stop her? From my spot at the door I could see her surveying the drop before her. Good, she was indecisive, which gave me the chance to convince her. I'd have to do just that –convince her to keep her life.
Not bothering to wait for the elevator, I traveled up, three, no, four steps at a time. I reached the third floor, wondering how the hell she had reached the roof. I spotted a ladder leading to a shaft in the ceiling. Bingo. As I hitched a leg up onto the third rung, I heard the telltale rip of my pants. But $300 pants and my slightly irrational fear of heights was not about to keep me from her. Thankfully, she was still on the rooftop when I arrived. I sucked in deep breaths as I quietly walked across the top of the building to where she stood. God forbid I yelled and frightened her into falling over –then I'd have to kill myself alongside her.
Going steadily, I finally reached behind her undetected. The harsh winds of Forks masked the sounds of my footsteps as I approached her, but her whispers carried in the air current. They were saturated with suffering.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, God, I can't take this anymore. I'm dying here on this Earth. Forgive me. I'm so sorry." She sobbed, and murmured this repeatedly. I was stunned, unable to comprehend the pain that was clearly audible in her voice. I rubbed at my chest, almost as if to soothe the ache that her words had caused.
Feeling as if I had played with time long enough, I hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her back from the ledge. She didn't fight or protest; she merely stared at me with blank, expressionless, brown eyes. Her features struck me as intriguing. I didn't find her beautiful, per se, but there was a certain attractiveness about her. She had large, rounded eyes, and a delicate nose with a spackle of freckles painted across it. The dust of freckles contrasted greatly with the paleness of her skin, giving character to her features. Despite her pleasant features, her face was gaunt and lifeless. The hollows of her eyes told tales of sleepless nights, and her small, chapped lips were pulled into a permanent frown. She seemed oddly familiar. Most likely we had met before, both coming from such a small town.
Before any questioning or talking would take place, I carried her far away from the edge of the building in case she tried to pull a 'running and diving' stunt. Somehow, I managed to take her down the ladder with her awkwardly positioned on my back. Once safely inside and with the latch closed, I set her on her feet and waited for something, anything, to happen.
A gut wrenching scream came from her as she fell against me. She was a small thing, but her weight was effective in bringing us down. Despite not knowing a thing about her, I wrapped my arms around her frail body, wanting more than anything to shield her from the suffering she had mentioned before. I didn't know how long we sat there for, but I didn't care. All I knew was that this morning I had woken up, a broken young adult searching for the meaning of my life in the sky. Now, I was still broken, but holding what I think is part of my meaning, in my arms.