"Are you so dumb that you cannot understand a simple request?" the Caterpillar asked me. "RECITE!"

I look over to Alice for help, but all she offered was a shrug. Nice kid. I sighed, and shook my head.

"Fine, fine I'll 'recite' for you," I said. "Ready?"

"Of course, idiot," the Caterpillar said.

"Okay, 'Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece-" I started.

"Nonononononononono!" he screamed. Then he lurched back on his mushroom.

Since he's not in my face, I can better see my surroundings. And my, oh my, are there mushrooms. There're red one, blue ones, ones that'll give you a 1up. And I can see the Caterpillar better too. He's about twenty feet tall, and all blue. About half of his limbs are arms, and the other half are legs.

"Your friend has quiet the attitude problem, your Highness," the Caterpillar finally said.

"Oh stop, you're making me blush," I said. "Come on, let's get down to business."

"Very well, what do you need?" the Caterpillar asked.

I looked over at Alice and gave her an annoyed look. Then I turned to the Caterpillar and said, "A way to end the war, what else?"

"Why would an oyster, like you, care about our war?" the Caterpillar asked as he once again got in my face.

"What does it matter? I'm trying to help you!" I snapped. "And don't you dare try to respond to that because I am two freaking seconds from blasting you into slimy little pieces! Just like that stupid door!"

And to show him I mean business, I yanked my blasting rod from its holster and force enough of my will into it to make the tip glow.

"What is a wand going to-" was all the Caterpillar managed to get out before I blast a huge chunk of his 'shroom away.

"Now tell me whatever it is you need to tell me!" I yelled.

For a second, it almost seemed like he's wasn't going to answer. Then he sighed, shrugged and began talking.

"You must seek help from the Lion and the Unicorn and the King Jabberwocky," the Caterpillar said and after, Alice gasps to my right.

"The guardians of Wonderland exist?" Alice asked looking up at the Caterpillar.

"Of course they exist. I suggest that you retake history your Highness," the Caterpillar said returning to smoke from his hookah. Then when he exhaled a book formed out of the smoke.

"Where are they?" I asked.

The Caterpillar shook his head and gave me an annoyed look.

"Research. I grow tired of this," the Caterpillar said waving his hands. "Go. And before you ask, you Highness, yes you may take some mushrooms. But you must choose for yourself. I will not aid you."

Then the Caterpillar pointed Alice to a closed off mushroom patch, where red mushrooms of different sizes grew. She bent down and with a nervously shaking hand reached for one, but after I saw which I ran over to her and slapped it out of her hand. She jumped when I did, and looked up at me and gave me a sour look.

"Pick the bright red one, not the dark red," I said with a leveled voice.

"How would you know?" Alice snapped

"I learned from a plumber named Mario," I said smugly.

Alice looked like she's about to fight me, but I shot her down with a look. She shook her head, and reached for the bright red one. She grabbed two of them and we're off. We turned back to say our goodbyes to the Caterpillar, but he's not there. Oh well. I'm happy to be away from the Caterpillar, but not so hot about the idea of walking all the way back to the castle. Especially through the Black Forest. The trees, the grass and even the flowers are all black. Everything feels alive and malicious here. It almost seems like everything is alive here. And ready to eat you. I heard Alice clear her throat like she's about to start talking, so I looked over to her.

"You blasted the door…?"

"Well, it was in my way…" I said.

"THAT'S what a door is for!" Alice pointed out.

"Hey, I had just fallen down a 'rabbit hole', after chasing a stupid rabbit-biting thing and then the first thing I meet is an annoying talking door!" I countered.

We argued about the door for awhile, until we came to a clearing in the forest. Alice stops for a second, and looks around as if she's heard something. Then she got up, and beckoned me to follow her. Ah, she was getting her bearings down. Maybe she's not so dumb after all. We walked in glorious silence until something caught my eye, I turned to see what and I stop dead in my tracks. It's a… herd of Purple People Eaters.

"Alice, I think we have a problem," I said quietly.

"What?" Alice replied still walking.

"We have Purple People Eaters here. And a lot of them," I said.

"What's a Purple People Eater?" Alice asked while she turns to see what I was talking about. "Harry."

"Yeah?"

"Run!"

We bolted in the opposite direction of the Eaters, and of course it caught their attention. So there we were, running through an evil forest from a pack of purple jelly things.

"Why are we running from the Purple People Eaters?" I ask Alice as we ran for our lives.

"Those aren't Purplepopler, Plurple Pleople… oh forget it. Those are Jabjoobs!" Alice answers.

"What?" I said biting down a chuckle.

"Shut up and keep running!" Alice snapped at me.

We ran until we fell. Oh, we didn't trip or anything. We fell down a cliff. Thankfully it wasn't very high, only about ten feet. We hit the ground running and when we got a good distance away I turned around and aimed my blasting rod at the cliff. I aimed for the top and shouted, "Fuego!"

A wrist-size stream of fire hit the dirt at the top and made a nice sized cloud of dust that hid our escape. We continued running until we get to a small stream. We stopped to finally rest and get some water.

"You run pretty well for a wizard," Alice remarked.

"Hey, I run every day," I panted. "That way, when I have to run for my life, I'm ready!"

Alice actually laughed and she lied down near the stream. I looked around and see that we're in a small clearing, everything is still black (minus the water thank goodness) but the sun is shining. It seemed so peaceful. But of course, it doesn't last.

"Alice," I whispered.

She looked at me and I gestured over to our left. She got up and looked over to where I indicated. She's startled at first, and I can't blame her. Over to the left is a brown cloaked figure. The hood is up and his head is down so we can't see his face.

"Jester?" Alice asked after awhile. "What are you doing here?"

"Alice?" I asked her keeping my eyes on our guest.

"No, no he's a friend,"

"I don't think so," I whispered.

Then Jester raised his head to look at us. When his head rose, fear hit me like a bullet, for, despite the distance and the darkness of the hood, his dark blue eyes where as visible as they could be and that formed an icy pit in my stomach. And then things got worse; he smiled. I know what you're thinking, "What's bad about a smile?" Well, it's bad when you can see his teeth when he did. Yes, his yellow, sharp, and crooked teeth were also visible. Great, ain't it? Then the Jester raised both arms and threw his cloak back, reviling red armor underneath the cloak.

When Alice saw, her eyes got three times bigger than normal, and her lips curled into a snarl.

"Traitor," she spat.

Then the Jester placed his hands in front of him and made a circle with his fingers. Then, a small pint-sized blue orb appeared in the middle and it started to grow. Finally, it grew enough to reach his hands, and then with a grunt he removed his left hand, grabbed it with his right and pointed it at us. Then, about eight tentacles emerged from the orb and slowly started to make their way towards us. They moved so slow it was almost seemed like a dream. With their speed it was hard to take them as a serious threat.

That is, until one of them hit a tree.

When one of those tentacles hit a tree, it slowly froze the tree solid, and when it was done the tentacle came out the other side and continued towards us.

Well, this can't be too hard, I whipped out my blasting rod, aimed at the orb the Jester was holding and let lose a whip of fire. But as soon as it got close to the orb, the tentacles kicked it into lightspeed and intercepted my attack. They hit my fire whip and extinguished it.

Crap…


So what do you think? :D Don't forget to review...k? And check out my other fic with TwyRyse56, Titans Next.