Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own this plot.
Both Sai and Shino had gotten extremely close from the first mission they were assign. When they weren't doing missions or training, they were together in different places. The park, Sai's apartment, Shino's clan minor, and the training grounds. It had been almost a year since that mission.
The couple was currently sitting on the roof of the Aburame Minor, enjoy each other presence. Sai painting the scene with Shino under the dawning sun rising.
"Shino," asked Sai softly.
"Yes Sai." he replied with the same tenderness.
"Why do you love me?"
"Love?" It was a hasten response.
"Yes, why wouldn't I love you?" A question for a question.
"I feel like you love me we are so close. To me it seems you lust for my body and with what happened to me in Root, I can understand that... I don't know emotions yet how can I say what I feel for you is love? When every time I see you my heart beats like it would burst out of my chest. My body would become warmer when you would hold my hand, when you hug me I would feel so warm and secure. Is this feeling I have for you love? Please help me understand Shino." When he said love the artist's face was doused in pink boarding red.
Cute, thought Shino as he saw this, a smile creeped upon his face. Though it grew larger as Sai continued with talk.
"Sai, what you feel for me is love. When I hold you, I want to protect you and not let you go. It's not lust you feel because you blushed when you said love, that shows that you are innocent in my eyes. I admit, your body calls to me but I won't force myself onto you if you're not ready, there is no reason for me to force you. I love you Sai-koi, I love you."
The unexpected happened in Shino's opinion, Sai embraced him crying. He made no move to hide his tears as his beloved wraped his arms around him. It took some time before the tears stopped but when it did, Sai ended up with the more beautiful smile Shino had ever seen.
"Why did you crying Sai-koi?"
"I'm just so happy, happy that what I feel is truely love. I haven't had any kind of true love from anyone in years; other than a brother's love." he laid his head on Shino's shoulder.
"What did you mean earlier when you said, 'what happened to me in Root'? What does it have to do with lust?" His eyes locked onto Sai's worriedly. The silence that greeted him slightly unbearable.
"Can we talk about this elsewhere Shino-koi? I don't want anyone else to overhear." His offical boyfriend nodded and they poofed into Shino's room.
"I'll activate the silencing seals so they can't hear us." he nodded in response.
"Shino-koi, can the bugs leave our bodies for short periods of time?"
"They can for a few minutes."
"Can they be willing to leave for an hour? The explanation might take that long."
"I'm sure they won't might too much but make sure that you have enough chakra later on because they'll want to feast."
"Alright." A few minutes later, swarms of tiny black bugs traveled out the window before Shino closed it shut.
Once the seals were active, the bugs were out and they were snuggled together on the bed did Sai speak.
"Root became my first home since I was an orphan. They train you to lose emotions, to not just forget them but to completely not feel them. Training every day was a physical and mental task, emotions were not permitted in becoming a Root member. Though the selective few handpicked by Danzou became like me, lost their emotions to training.
"When one is 12, you lose your innocence completely because I was sent on an assanination mission. When I returned from the mission I was tortured. It was something I-I..." Sai just broke, crying once more but this time in pain. Shino tighened his hold on him and rocked him back and forth, processing what he was told.
The images flashed in his mind repeatedly of that event. Being shoved onto the floor after the tiring mission. The insane smirk on the man's face made him back into the corner. Being hurt in any way imaginable through ANBU touture. As a result he became a doll many hours later.
Unknown to Sai, what he remembered was transfered into Shino's mind. They were but mere flashes but it was enough for said bug boy to piece together. Both feel into a restless sleep that night. Just before Shino fell into slumber, he created a shadow clone to open the window and their respective bugs flew back into their bodies.
Sai awoke, drenched in sweat from a nightmare sat up (he had woken up his partner by doing so). He curled up into a ball with his hands on the side of his face, eyes similar to a deer in headlights. Shino immediately wrapped his arms around his shaken boyfriend, calming him with a simple touch.
"Shino, Shino, Shino..." Sai repeated his name like a mantra under his breath. It took some time before the artist calmed down but a few kisses and a pink Sai later, did it work.
"You don't need to talk about Root anymore Sai. There's no need to right now. So how about you tell me about your brother? Maybe that will be better?" Sai answered with a tentative nod.
"Shin was an older member in Root who encouraged my artist ability, over time he became my brother. He died to an illness a few years ago."
"I'm sorry Sai-koi."
"For bringing back such painful memories."
"It does but talking to you has made me feel less... heavy."
"I never did talk about what happened when I was 12, just thinking of it made me want to hurt myself. Since we have abandon emotions, physically hurting out bodies is a way for us to get rid of that feeling. Just being with you talking about it has made it less heavy."
The two spent the rest of the morning resting before they enjoyed the remained of their day in the Aburame private gardens.
"I couldn't be even more happier, thank you."
"Thank you for making me so happy."
Little did they know their happiness would grow into something more.
*koi : love